


Who Disappeared in the Year 2018

by HoodiePatootie



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Ace Reader, Autistic Reader, Chubby Reader, Demisexual Reader, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, also an anxious depressed bean because of a bunch of stuff, extreme self-hate, gray-asexual reader, nonbinary reader, reader has a bitch ton of problems ripppp, thick bean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2020-07-11 18:17:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 63
Words: 158,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19932412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoodiePatootie/pseuds/HoodiePatootie
Summary: James and Mako are currently students at this one university. Their world suddenly becomes strange when a mysterious person appears out of thin air in their life, having no idea on how they teleported into the future.





	1. It was Aliens

“The room has no strand of DNA. There were no signs of a struggle nor a note. There are no signs of forced entry neither; both front and back doors are locked shut while the windows are undisturbed …”

James and Mako sat in front of a monitor screen, watching episodes of crime and conspiracy videos. Mako munches the cheese puff balls while James drinks his boba tea. The episode they are currently watching is about a young individual that disappeared more than half a century ago.

“There are plenty of theories to this case. The first theory is the person committed suicide, despite no suicide note found nor a body. This is based on their past struggles with clinical depression and anxiety. Some friends commented that they were told about their suicidal thoughts…”

“Nope. They are dead, they are not coming back,” James commented, chewing a little.

“The second theory is—"  
“Ryan, I swear—”  
“Aliens. They got abducted by aliens”  
“God damn it”

Mako wheezes while James almost choke on his drink, weakly snickering.

“Whatever it is, the person remains missing and the case remain unsolved.”

“… I mean we do have a monkey for a professor, so the alien thing is plausible,” James shrugs.

Mako grunts in response, getting another hand full of cheese puffs while another episode starts.

“… And a hamster,” James added.

An argument is heard in the back, not fazing the two guys. It’s not describable the conversation since it’s probably yelled in a different language. James and Mako have their eyes glued on the screen, the episode now talking about a conspiracy theory on how the government is involved in the omnic crisis.

“Everyone knows about that, booooring!” James scowled, before Mako grumbles “shut up”.

James shrug a little, looking at the show. They sat still – suddenly their door violently opens with the two Shimada brothers wrestling with each other. James and Mako sat there unamused, paying no attention to the confrontation happening in the room. Genji and Hanzo shoves each other around, yelling at one another.

“Hey, move out the way!” James shoos them away when the brothers got in front of the TV. Genji looks up in annoyance but suddenly get slapped by Hanzo when he was distracted. James stared wide eye at the sudden act. Genji rubs his cheek for a moment, but quickly swing his arm out to Hanzo’s face to smack him back. Mako sat there unfazed while James stare on, the brothers continuing to yell at one another. The brothers wrestled some more until Genji finally shoved Hanzo away, wiping his face as he leaves the room.

“Maybe if you didn’t fuck the nurse, I wouldn’t make a huge deal, you fuckboi!” Hanzo blurted after him.

“OH—” James’s jaw dropped while Mako raise his brows a little.

“Where are you going? Genji, you idiot –” Hanzo ran out the room to look for his brother. There was sounds of the front door slamming and opening. Then the dorm is finally quiet except for the TV, Mako and James sitting still on their couch.

“… Well that’s a fine how-do-you-do,” James suddenly commented. Mako finally gets up to close the door.

“These two are always arguing over nothing,” Mako stated while coming back to sit on the couch.

“Hanzo is jealous of Genji rogering with the nurse?” James asks, curious.

“I think it’s the fact that it’s taboo,” Mako replies.

“Taboo? How so?” James asks further.

“What do you mean how so? He’s probably referring to the school nurse, not a medic student,” Mako explains, sounding annoyed.

“Ziegler? Isn’t she a medic student though? I’m sure it’s not a huge deal. It’s not like Pornhub dot com with the fantasy of a professor with a schoolgirl” James snickers a little.

“Whatever, just shut up and let me watch the show,” Mako said, grabbing some more cheese puffs.

Genji never came back to the dorm. Hanzo return empty handed. The other roommates are either busy studying or listening to music. The dorm is just a huge place with four rooms, connected through bathrooms and meeting up in the living room. One room is where Jesse and Lucio are in while the other room is where Zenyatta and Baptiste are. Lucio is the youngest boy in the dorm while Mako is the eldest. Jesse went outside his room to check on Hanzo while Lucio had no idea what happened, his ears plugged with his headphones. Baptiste and Zenyatta are not at the dorms because they left for yoga class. They came back much later, having no idea what happened and went immediately to bed. Hanzo and Jesse’s voice is heard, presumably talking back in Hanzo’s room. James and Mako continues to watch conspiracy theories and spooky videos throughout the night.

James suddenly wakes up on his bed -- ** _whAMP!_**

“OOAAWWW – OH--!!”

James curls into a ball, holding his head in. Eventually, Mako slowly sits up on his bed, sitting there for a minute until he got up with a grunt. What happened was James hit his head on the ceiling after getting up too quickly. After feeling a little better, James slowly got out of his top bunk to lower himself down.

“Take a shower, you smell like smegma,” Mako commented.

“Wh—” James squints his eyes, confused at how specific Mako’s example is.

“Dick cheese? How you know—aww great, now I know how your roger looks like,” James wince, but walking over his drawer to get some “fresh” clothing and get in the shower.

“I’m circumcised, dumbass,” Mako said, dressing himself up.

“Then how you know??” James exclaims in the bathroom.

“Whatever, you still stink,” Mako wave his hand in a shooing manner, giving up on continuing the conversation.

“Don’t come in unless ya want to see a big red dynamite – ya know what I meaaaan!” James yelled out.

“Shut up, idiot!” Mako yelled back, hearing James laughing to himself and a few snickers from the other roommates.

“That’s okay! Because I got that magnum pistol on my belt if yall know what I’m saying!” Jesse suddenly yell out, earning more laughter from James and the others.

Mako comes to the living room with a bowl of cereal, turning on the TV. Zenyatta walks over in the background and knocks on Lucio’s door, seemingly worried. When Jesse said he can come in, Zenyatta sticks his head in the door. Zenyatta asks them about Genji, since the two are good friends. Mako listens closely to their conversation, despite not really caring.

“… Oh you weren’t there?” Jesse asks surprised.

“Wait what happened?” Lucio asks, pulling his headphones out.

“You didn’t hear through all that racket? What headphones you got?” Jesse asks Lucio. _Yeah, maybe it can help me not hear James’s verbal shitposting_ Mako thought.

“Noise cancelling, duh,” Lucio responded.

“Racket? Did something happen?” Zenyatta asks worried.

“Hanzo and Genji got in a bad fight. I try to help but well …” Jesse explained.

“Where is he now?” Zenyatta asks some more.

“No idea. He left out the dorm last night,” Jesse replied.

“Oh dear, I hope he’s alright,” Zenyatta commented solemnly.

“What about his brother?”

“I talked to him last night, but he left for morning classes. I’m sure Genji will be alright,” Jesse said.

“I hope so … Thank you, you all have a good morning,” Zenyatta nodded, closing the door to go back to his room.

Mako munch on his cereal, hearing hushed voices of Zenyatta and Baptiste while James starts passionately sings some random song by the Offsprings.

Later that morning, James finds himself bored out of his mind while in the science lab. A few students are in the classroom while Winston teach, explaining how time is affected by gravity and other information about Einstein’s theory of general relativity.

“Are there any questions before the class ends?” Winston asks.

Olivia raise her hand up. Winston nodded and said yes to let her speak.

“Sometimes I feel a little sick after using my Translocator, do you think it’s affecting me physically or it’s just slowing down time for me? I'm sure you know what I mean, Lena,” Olivia asks, peering at Lena for a second.

“Wouldn’t be a problem if you disappeared forever,” Lena suddenly commented.

“Oop,” James’s eyes widen, meanwhile Mako next to him turn to see the drama while the other classmates gasped.

“Hey Lena, that’s a bit harsh,” Winston commented worryingly.

“What? You know the truth, professor. Don't think I don't recognize that device of yours, Olivia. I know you stole it from Winston himself!” Lena pointed at Olivia accusingly.

“What can I say? A girl just has to have the latest tech,” Olivia shrugs, not fazed by Lena’s aggressive attitude.

“What are you two talking about?!”

Everyone turns to James.

“The professor AND we were trying to figure out that stupid thing until Olivia here managed to make it work, I think that’s pretty impressive,” James shrugs.

“But she stole it, that’s plagiarism and she should be expelled for that!” Lena scolded.

“Lena, calm down, it’s my business to attend to—” Winston try to calm Lena down, but she suddenly gets up from her desk and stomps out of the room.

“Uhh … Okay, you all can leave now and – don’t forget to turn in your essays for midterm!” Winston announced as people start to pack their stuff.

Mako and James is on their way to the cafeteria.

“Why did you butt in anyway?” Mako suddenly asks.

“Because it’s true, we been struggling with that dumb translocator for weeks until she put things into her own hands. You have any idea how much time we wasted on that stupid thing?” James explained, also annoyed.

Mako hums in response.

“It’s almost midterms too, I’m not wasting anymore time on that trash,” James commented.

They finally come to the cafeteria. James just got two slices of pizza and went to sit on a table. He’s chewing his food while checking on his phone when he heard a knock on his table. James look up to see Olivia with her food tray.

“Mind if I sit here?” Olivia smiles.

“Sure! No problem,” James nodded, patting the table. Olivia sat in front of him, telling him “gracias”.

“De nada, anyway, how are you?” James asks as he gets another bite of his pizza.

“I’m fine,” Sombra shrugs, her fork scraping through the pasta.

“Really? Lena was really aggressive there back in Winston’s class,” James tilt his head a little.

“Eh, she been disliking me,” Sombra replies. Mako comes back with a tray full of a bunch of food, sitting down next to James.

“Why though? Is it because you’re not white?” James asks. Sombra laughs at his question.

“Nah, she’s just a teacher’s pet,” Sombra replied confidently, getting a bite of her pasta.  
“She’s not wrong,” Mako suddenly comments, already halfway done with his burger.

“Now that I think about it – Olivia, you are by yourself all the time,” James realized.

“I guess so,” Olivia nodded a little.

“Strange, why nobody likes you?” James asks curiously.

Sombra shrugs.

“Did you leak someone’s nudes?”

“… Maybe,” she said.

“Oop. Welp,” he quickly turns away.

“I’m kiddiiing,” Olivia giggled.

“Speaking of leaks …” Sombra looks around until locking eyes with the two guys. She waves her hands, beckoning them to get closer.

James willingly lower his head near her while Mako is too busy eating, already starting on his slice of pizza.

“While I was exploring, I came across what our next project is going to be about,” Olivia whispers.

“You are not going to believe me, but we are attempting to create some kind of time machine at some point in the semester,” she reveals with stars in her eyes.

“Hooley dooley,” James blinked, Mako lowkey paying attention to what Olivia is saying.

“Possibly next month,” Olivia whispered some more.

“Wait – what do you mean exploring? Like you went to the lab?” James asks curiously.

Olivia shook her head no.

“I’m a hacker,” Olivia said.

“Oooh,” James nodded.

“Ooh that’s how you—Ooooh,” James nodded some more, crossing his arms.

“Yeaah. You need any more info like that, go ahead and let me know,” Sombra smiled innocently.  
“Okay!” James smiled back.

Sombra picks her tray up to clean up, leaving James and Mako. Mako is eating the rest of his fries while James already ate his last slice of pizza. After they are done eating and cleaning up, they went on their way to their own classes.

Back at the dorms, they saw that Genji still hasn’t come back. Hanzo and Jesse are still talking to one another back in their room.

“… Bullshit,” Mako said out of the blue.

“What’s bullshit?” James asks, looking up at his friend curiously.

“You really want to know why nobody likes Olivia?” Mako asks.

“I like her! I like misfits like her!” James grinned cheerfully.

“Idiot, Olivia is very manipulative. She only uses people for her own agenda and she’s capable of ruining your life with her hacking skills,” Mako explains aloofly.

“So she did leak some nudes,” James commented, pointing his finger.

“Maybe,” Mako shrugs, turning on the TV.

“Just stay out of trouble, also that whole time machine thing is stupid and obviously a lie.”

“A lie? But why would she lie about that odd thing specifically?” James asks.

“No idea and I don’t care,” Mako sits up comfortably on the couch.

James shrugs, going into his room to start studying. As hyper and unpredictable he is, he is still a good student with great grades. It just so happens that his personality doesn’t reflect his intelligence, which confuses Mako. James is this walking incarnation of duality; smart yet idiotic, dirty yet handsome, happy yet lonesome, etc.

After showering and brushing his teeth, Mako gets ready for bed while James is already laying on his top bunk.

“Mako, did you notice that people are getting really aggressive lately?” James asks.

“What are you talking about?” Mako responds, not looking up as he sits on his bed.

“Last week Winston beef it out with Akande, Genji and Hanzo gets in a fight, and now Lena randomly went off on Olivia,” James explained.

  
“I don’t care, I’m going to sleep,” Mako replied in annoyance, moving until he is comfortably laying on his bed.

James furrow his brows, wanting to say more but don’t want their own fight to be part of the already long strings of confrontations happening. James lays down and tries to sleep.

 _Maybe it was aliens_ he thought amusingly. 


	2. The Time Machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turns out Olivia isn't lying about time machines being legit.

“I’m starting to have trust issues with you, sir,” James commented aloofly to Mako.

Mako and James came to class only to realize they are going to the bigger labs. They all got their equipment and lab coats ready. They all went in a single-file line until they reach to the upper platform, overseeing a massive machine behind the large glass.

“In the year 2020, scientists discovered a way to go back in time in half a second. That may be small, but it’s a huge step towards proving Einstein’s theory of general relativity. Around the year 2040, the Slipstream experiments start taking place to see the relationship between speed and time. What you all are seeing now, is a prototype of what can be used for time travel,” Winston.

“WHAT?!” James exclaimed, surprised that Olivia is telling the truth. Olivia smirked a little to his reaction.

“Amazing, isn’t it?! But it’s still going through testing,” Winston added.

“Our job is to figure out how and what makes this work, this will be our biggest project yet in this semester.”

“And I thought the translocator is hard…” James slumps his shoulders.

“Relax, Jamison. We can figure it out, especially since Lena has first-hand experience on how time travelling works,” Olivia assure, patting his back.

“How so?” James perks up, curious.

Olivia put her arms around his shoulder, quietly explaining him about Lena’s past.

“She was part of the Slipstream experiments, but there was an accident where she ends up having this weird condition called chronal disassociation,” Olivia starts, looking over to Lena and Satya talking to one another.

“What’s that?” James asks.

“It’s when you are not flowing with time basically, so you would disappear days or hours at a time. Pretty scary stuff,” Olivia nodded.

“What you two doing?” Mako asks out of the blue, appearing behind Olivia and James.

“Secrets, revealing many secrets,” Olivia grins mischievously, pulling James closer to her as she makes puppet gestures on her left hand.

“She was telling the truth!” James smiled with stars in his eyes.

“… Whatever,” Mako grumbles, turning to go do whatever he is doing.

“What I was saying – you know that thing on Lena’s chest? That’s what is helping her stay in place, created none other than Winston himself. It’s called the chronal accelerator, which helps her time travel basically. It only affects her perception of time though,” Sombra continues to explain.

“Ooh…” James listens intently.

“I kept forgetting how scientifically developed this world is sometimes. Time travelling sounds like something you only hear in children’s books or Doctor Who shows,” James commented.

Sombra shrugs, agreeing with him. After imputing the coding and necessary mechanics, everyone was called to watch the machine come to life. James looks one with wonder, excited for what’s going to happen. First, they start warming up the machine so it can collect as much energy needed.

“Wait they are not putting a bunny or a testing dummy in there?” James whispered to Moira. She leans her head a little to hear him.

“I suggested it, but they said it’s “not ethical,” Moira replied, sounding disappointed about it.

After ten minutes, the class tense as large flash of lights start showing up. James slowly moves his eyes towards the clock, realizing that the hands are not moving. A loud noise kept rumbling out of the machine, more lightning coming through.

“Wait how do we know if it works if—” James asks before it suddenly got dark, showing a hint of dark blue in the darkness. The way the machine is made is like they got inspiration from Into the Spiderverse … And that black hole maker machine. James start to wonder if they accidentally created a black hole but then Winston turned off the machine, the darkness going away in a millisecond. Everyone stands there, stunned. Winston and a few other students work on the control panels as the machine slows down. James suddenly grabs hold of Mako’s large arm, mumbling something under his breath. Mako looks down at James, who appears a bit worried. James thought he saw something in the darkness, but it went away before he can process it anymore. Olivia peer over James before returning her eyes to the machine. Suddenly the whole campus got dark. A few people yelped a little in the darkness. A few minutes later, the lights come back. Mako felt James clinging his whole body to his side.

“… Are we alive?” James asks meekly.

After lunch break, James and Mako went back to the dorms. They were confused on what they just witnessed, especially since they didn’t have an idea on what data they were collecting to know time travelled has occurred. Zenyatta and Baptiste left to do yoga. Still no sign of Genji. Hanzo and Jesse are out. Lucio left to work as a DJ somewhere.

“I’m gonna go get some snacks, stay out of trouble,” Mako instructed, going out the dorm.

James is by himself all of a sudden. He went over to his room, opening his laptop over at his small desk. He’s going to study more on the machine and what it’s supposed to do. He felt that maybe he was scared because it’s the unknown that freaks him out. He went through a bunch of articles, looking up at the Slipstream experiments and the black hole machine it reminded him of.

“Might as well start on that essay Winston talked about,” James mumbled.

James didn’t pay attention to the door opening, who was Jesse and Hanzo coming back. They murmur a little as they went to Hanzo’s room, closing the door. James kept writing, hours passing as he kept trying to understand. Did he saw the void? Like Wing Ding Gaster kind of void? What is going on? James scratch his head in frustration, not sure on what to do …. Then he heard weird noises. He lifts his head up and realize … Hold up wh—oh NO!

James quickly covered his ears, desperately running out of his room and out the dorm. He didn’t care if Jesse and Hanzo heard him running out. He stood in the hallway panting … He runs farther away when he thought he heard more noises. He goes downstairs, stomping away and running towards the lobby. The lobby is empty and silent, only noises being from the air conditioner and James mumbling “no, no, no, no, n—”

He had no idea where he is going since it’s dark out. He ends up back at the science building, panting and sweaty from all that running he did. He noticed the lights are off, but the door was unlocked. Strange. He walks around the halls, empty. He come across a few scientists back at where the machine was, murmuring to one another. James quietly pass them but suddenly saw Olivia, in the middle of her hacking. She is using some kind of techno shenanigans with her fingers. James slowly walks away from her and the machine. He was going to ask Winston about something but welp, it’s too late and there is too much weird stuff already happening. He grew tired, confused about everything while slowly realizing how lonely he is. He has Mako but …

James look up to see a small person across the hall. He thought it was weird that a child is walking around. Oh gob, is this person a guinea pig that escaped? Is this Eleven from Stranger Things??

James carefully follows behind the person. He slowly realizes that this person is not really a child but a small adult. They were wearing shorts and a shirt with slippers, which is weird since it’s not appropriate wear for a scientist. James felt his cheeks and ears warm up.

“H-hey…” James call to them a little.

The person turns to James, averting eye contact. They look awfully young, probably Hana’s age or younger, but with tired eyes and fluffy hair.

“You’re lost?” he asks.

The person looks around, visibly confused and dazed. James tense up when he heard footsteps coming along, prompting him to quickly grab the small human and run. He did not stop until he got out the door. He went back to the dorms building to get away from the science building. James holds onto them bridal style, staying in the elevator before running back to his dorm. He quickly opens the door and runs to his room. Mako is too distracted by the TV, eating Chinese takeout. James close the door behind him, quickly putting you on Mako’s bed.

“Uhh … Sleep on my bed instead, I don’t want the big guy to get mad at me,” James suggested. The person stay sitting on Mako’s bed when James left to get some food for the person. He suddenly stopped behind Mako.

“… Did you not hear anything?!” James suddenly exclaimed.

Mako quickly turn behind him.

“What are you talking about?” Mako asks.

“… I’ll tell you later because they are probably still there…” James mumbled. He went to the kitchen to get a few apples, a bowl of cereal, and an orange juice. He gingerly went back in the room with the food, closing the door behind him. He placed them on his desk, carefully pulling his laptop away after saving everything. He looks up at you on the top bunk, peering down at James with big eyes.

“Hey mate, I got some snacks for ya,” he said, smiling up at you.

You blinked at him, looking at the stuff he got. James went over to the couch, putting his laptop up to work on what he was doing. At some point, you got down to eat the food. After writing for half an hour, James lay his head down. He slowly looks up at you, feeling his ears and cheeks warming up again. You went on to clean the area and throw away the scraps. You lock eyes at him before quickly blinking away.

“You got water?” you mumbled.

“Hmm?” James looks up at you.

“Water. I’m thirsty for water,” you said.

“Oh, yeah sure,” James put his laptop down before going back to the kitchen, getting a water bottle and bring it to you, closing the door behind him.

“Thank you,” you nodded. You crack over the bottle before inhaling the whole thing.

“Boy aren’t you thirsty,” James commented in surprise, seeing your empty and crushed bottle.

So cute!

James’s heart skipped a beat when you walk around in front of him, throwing away the bottle then trying to climb back on his bed.  
“Oh, they are so tiny – tiny little ankle biter” James coos. He suddenly picks you up. You whined softly in his grasp while he runs to his roommate, who is currently on the couch still eating.

“Mako look! Let me see you two stand side-by-side!” James suggested excitedly, holding you up.

Mako looks up to see your frightened self.

“… Did you kidnap someone?” he asks flatly.

“No! This little cutie appeared in my room, believe it or not,” James grins happily, still holding you. You squirm out of his grasp because it hurts being held like that.

“Liar, who wants to be in your smelly room?” Mako chuckles a little.

“HEY! I showered today!” James pouted. You are currently standing near the two, not looking at them in the eyes and just generally looking sad. Then again you always look sad.

“You mean yesterday,” Mako pointed out.

You gingerly went back to James’s room, going up to climb on his bed.

“… No seriously, where did you find them?” Mako asks.

“They were by themselves at the science building, seemingly lost,” James replied.

“What were you doing there?” Mako asks further.

“… Research. The essay is due soon, remember?” James pointed out.

Mako grumbles, turning his head towards the room.

“They are sleeping on my bed, don’t worry,” James assure.

Mako didn’t say much, turning his head back to the TV. James sighs, going back to his room.

“Hey, kiddo,” James calls you. He hears you mumbled something.

“What’s your name? Also, how old are you because you kind of look like a baby,” James asks.

“… (y/n). I’m currently 20, I’m aware of my youthful appearance,” you replied tiredly.

“Hooley Dooley, you look really young,” James nodded.

“I just want to know because eughhh don’t want to commit child kidnapping.”

  
You squirm on his bed as you try to get in a comfortable position to sleep. James went back to the couch, typing the rest of his essay. You try to fall asleep, but you struggle with that kind of stuff already. You have no idea how you ended up sleeping in another man’s bed. You heard the door open and a few heavy footsteps. He walks over to the bathroom, starting to take a shower and brush his teeth. You got intimidated with how big and strong Mako looks, his hands the size of your head. James is still writing and checking stuff online. You kept trying to sleep but couldn’t. Problem is that you really have no idea where you are or why you ended up in this situation, you were feeling like letting everything happen as it is or be anxious on a lot of things. Where are your parents? Do you need to brush your teeth? Will you be thrown on the streets? You kept wondering until you heard the bathroom door open.

“… Oh, you weren’t lying,” James commented.

“Shut up,” Mako growled.

You didn’t turn to look at the two people. You still lay on your left side, facing the wall. Mako went through his drawer to look for his towel, which he forgot. He dresses himself up in some comfortable shorts. You turn to your stomach, murmuring a little. You blushed a little seeing him. It’s blatantly obvious you’re a weird person. People in your situation would react hysterically, running around asking for help. But you just accepted everything as it is, kind of like you surrendered yourself to fate. Besides you’re … Questionable social skills and lack of eye contact, you are a bit of a chubby chaser. You’re general somewhere in the asexual spectrum, but you like fictional characters that have a tummy. You’re no stranger to what “bara” means. You suddenly remembered that Mako not only has a soft tummy, but his arms are hella muscular. He’s perfect. However, you only feel admiration and fear towards him. You don’t feel any lust or crush happening, just admiration. James looks handsome, but you feel nothing towards him and he’s too skinny for you. Lucio and the others at some point came back to the dorms for bed, but still no sign of Genji.


	3. Babyface Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You sleep a l o t

You managed to sleep for a few hours, but you woke up feeling exhausted. You stay in bed, hearing snoring of both James and Mako … You turn to your stomach with your head facing towards the room. You stick your head a little to see James laying on the couch, his head up and drooling a little. You face away to the right wall next to you, squirming to a comfortable position.

You don’t remember how you end up here. You just remember standing in your room, talking to yourself, when you suddenly hear a loud noise. You panicked a little but felt yourself let go on the last second, remembering that it doesn’t really matter what happens in the future. You blinked a little to see you’re not in your room anymore but in darkness.

Your fight-or-flight response got the best of you – you ran in fear through the darkness until you reached to a wall. You curl into a ball, still in the dark. A few minutes later and the lights went on, but you stay shaking in your spot. You got up slowly when you realize the lights are back on and you’re not in the void. You find yourself at a room next to a huge machine. You walked around looking for the exit, worried you might get killed if you stay any longer – you suddenly got through a wall. Confused and feeling sleepy, you stumble around the hallways after that random escape. You been running around the hallways for hours. You hid behind a corner when you saw a bunch of people in lab coats leave the control room. You walk the other way. You kept walking around, loving the familiar feeling of being alone. The lights in the building kept flickering a few times after the experiments. You felt this nagging feeling of “you have to panic because you got into a weird situation”. You suspect that you’re having a very lucid dream.

The lights turned off again later in the evening. You were sleeping on the floor in the middle of the halls. You can never stop feeling tired for the past few years. Being alive is tiring you out, you think. You quickly scrambled to your feet when you thought you heard someone coming. You heard noises like buttons being pressed… You slowly got to a corner to see a girl with purple hair messing around with a wall hardwire? Whatever it was on the wall is some technology shenanigans. She’s probably hacking into it. You find it fascinating how she can type the air and purple buttons suddenly appear. You then hear a few voices walls away, footsteps, the sound of the air conditioner working. You walk away from the hacker and walk through the halls. You turn to the left and see another long hall on the other side. You walked on the hall to go to the right. You stumble around there until you start to hear footsteps. You got weirded out because it sounds like it’s right behind you; suddenly you hear someone say “Hey”. That’s when you turn to see the weird skinny man before he quickly picks you up to take you away.

Everything that happened before made no sense, especially when you write it on paper. You have no idea how you end up near the machine, you don’t know how you got away from the machine or manage not to get caught all these hours. You stay sleeping on James’s bed, snuggling into the blanket. It wasn’t until half an hour later you heard movement happening right below. Mako got up, yawning and going on his way to get dressed. You look towards the noises, seeing the top of his head moving. Laying on your tummy with your head cushioned onto the pillow, you watch your vision go dark as your eyes keep drooping down. Mako’s breathing is strangely calming. James is still snoring away at the couch when Mako is finished dressing up. He got on a soft black shirt, jeans, and put his hair on a ponytail. You hear him go out the room. You heard more movements happening behind the walls besides Mako’s footsteps.

  
Mako got some cereal. Jesse and Hanzo manage to get up and leave earlier, hence the footsteps that was heard not so long ago, while everyone else followed suit. James and Lucio woke up last, thirty minutes later. You didn’t notice James was awake until you heard a voice from below.

“They are so cuuute,” James cooed, his face squished between his hands as he looks at you. You didn’t open your eyes to see if he’s referring to you or something else. Then he taps the bed frame to see if you’re awake. When you stick your head out from the side to squint at him, he perks up happily.

“Good morning! Just letting you know I’m going to class soon, but you can eat whatever is here. I’ll lie to the rest and tell them it was me,” he assured, grinning widely like he usually does.

You nodded drowsily, slowly turning your back on him to lay on your left side.

James got dressed, packed his stuff, and went out into the living room. James and Mako sat on the coffee table eating their cereal while Zenyatta is alone with Lucio and Baptiste in the kitchen, since they all are in the medical field, murmuring to one another either about their classes or personal lives. The one thing that stuck out was when Zenyatta finally explains what happened to Genji.

“I talked to him through text last night to tell me he switched dorms. I even asked Angela if she spoked to him recently and she said he was fine, however, she also told me that she treated him for some bruises. I have no idea what happened between him and his brother, but it’s not my place to ask. I just hope he’s alright. He is for now, but I don’t know if he is going to say anything about his brother’s violent outburst,” Zenyatta discussed.

“Maybe he’s scared to because he doesn’t want to get Hanzo in trouble,” Lucio suggested.

“Or they both get in trouble for telling the truth,” Baptiste added, sipping his black coffee.

After they ate breakfast, you are finally left alone in James’s room to sleep some more. Meanwhile, James and Mako went on to their classes. When it’s lunch time though, Mako went on to get food outside of the cafeteria. James went by himself but ends up meeting Olivia.

“Hey,” Olivia waved at him. James greeted her back, letting her sit with him at this one corner.

“You look pretty lonely here,” she noted.

“Yeah, it’s aight,” he nodded, starting to eat his salad.

“… Can we talk by ourselves in private?” James asks.

“Oh, I was going to ask you the same thing! Of course,” Olivia smiled.

“… Uh, is it about yesterday?” James whispered, sticking his neck out. Olivia didn’t ask what he was talking about, just nodded and looked as if she understood exactly what he means.  
After lunch, James and Olivia walked out together. Suddenly, Olivia grabs James by his arm to go somewhere. He looks surprised as she leads him away through the campus.

“I know a secret place to be, here,” Olivia assured. She kept running off to the point of breakin sweat, only stopping behind the theater building. After looking around to see if anyone is around, she then grabs onto her translocator, throwing up into the air to get stuck on top of the building. Olivia hold James’s hand as they teleported up.

“Ohh … I feel my lunch being confused,” James mumbled, letting go of Olivia’s hand to hold onto his tummy.

“Yeah, that happens,” Olivia shrugs.

“So you saw me?”

“Huh?” James look up, a bit alarmed.

“At the science building? I know you were in there,” she said, looking smug.

“… Oh yeah! Didn’t want to bother you though, so I leave you alone,” James explained, not really intimidated by Olivia.

“I found someone that was lost in the building though. No idea if they are a guinea pig or something but I took them to my dorm.”

“Who?” she asks.

“No idea. They look lost though, so I took them into my room. I didn’t touch them or anything, they are probably still sleeping,” he explains further.

“Are they a student here?” she asks some more.

“They didn’t say. I wanted to let you know because I don’t want anyone else to snitch on them; you’re less likely to” James said.

“I’ll be more concerned if they are not a student because I really think she must have been a guinea pig for some cruel science experiments…”

“… Maybe I can find out? And do something if they turn out not to be a student?” Olivia suggested.

“What do you mean?” he arches his brow at her.

“Like make them seem like a transfer student. You want to watch me do so? It’s kind of hard for me to explain,” Olivia nodded.

James nodded excitedly, eyes shining through.

“Yes! Oh, I also remember – Genji isn’t at our dorm anymore, so they can stay with us!” James beamed.

“Ohh lucky you! Time to do some research,” Olivia cracks her knuckles.

* * *

You sat on the couch, snuggling yourself into a ball. You were going to nap here, feeling your eyes closing again as you feel drowsy. Everything is confusing you because things are more advanced in technology. There are keypads, floating stuff, holographs, and other techno thingamajigs you kept running into. You managed to make the TV work with a remote, kind of getting a hang of whatever is happening. It looks kind of like that thing your sister brought for herself and later for your parents. It’s this thing that helps your TV turn into Netflix or a Spotify. You don’t recognize much of the apps there, so you just understood which is for movies or streaming based on visuals or context clues. You clicked on one thing and it shows a list of shows or movies.

You have no idea what movies there are, so you look up further to see if they got your favorite shows. You caught your eye on that one thing – specifically the one that talks about strange or paranormal cases. You clicked on the first episode and start to watch it. You woke up a little when trying to process the information. This episode is about a man that was found dead on the beach but have no relatives nor connections with anyone, just obscure stuff like newspaper clippings or codes found in their pockets.

You kept watching more episodes, getting sleepy again. You jolted back up when you heard the door opening. You didn’t turn your head to look who’s coming in since it will look awkward if you, a stranger, is sitting there staring down at who probably lives here. You heard the door slide open. The powerful footsteps sound familiar, but you stay put and try to shrink yourself into the sofa. You heard the man stand there for a little bit … Then he comes to your direction to sit right across from you on the sofa, putting his food on the coffee table upfront. You recognize the man as Mako, coming home probably to eat lunch. He got some fast food and a drink for himself. You kept sitting there, feeling out of place, not wanting to disturb this man. You look straight into the TV, trying to look as if you don’t care.

“Where do you come from?” he suddenly asks.

“Houston,” you quickly answered.

“Houston? You mean Texas Houston? That’s states away,” he said back.

You nodded, not knowing what to say.

“Are you a student?” Mako asks.

“Yes,” you replied. You didn’t think about whether he was asking if you’re a student in general or a student of their university.

“You look really young. What major?” he asks.

“Cinematic arts, but I’m shit at it,” you replied … Kind of regretting saying the last part.

“What’s that?” he asks further.

“Movie stuff, but—yeah movie stuff. Making movies. What is your major?” you ask, trying to move the attention away from your personal life.

“Biochemistry and engineering,” he replied.

“Aah, very hard,” you nodded.

“Mmm,” Mako hums in response.

“I like writing science fiction, but I feel like I have to understand those kinds of things to make a good story,” you explained.

“Fiction is fiction,” Mako stated.

“Yes,” you nodded.

“Where is your dorm?” he asks next.

“Huh?” you asked. You’re not sure whether to lie or tell him the truth. You always been honest, sometimes brutally honest.

“Your dorm. You can only be residential in this university,” he explained.

“Oh, you meant I’m a student as in – of this university? Oh no, I went to a Houston university. I live with my parents,” you explain back.

“Ooh okay. Then what are you doing here?” he asks, looking at you. It’s not as intimidating when he has his mask on.

“I don’t know,” you answer.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Mako crook his head a little.

“I was in my room and then I’m here. I’m sorry, but I have no idea how it happened,” you avert your eyes, lowering your head a little.

“Like out of thin air?” he tries to understand.

“Yes. I randomly teleported here – I guess that’s a good word for it,” you try to explain.

“You’re lying,” he mumbled a little.

You shrug your shoulders, having no idea what else to say.

“… Where is the tall man?” you ask sheepishly.

“You mean James? He’s off by himself somewhere, probably in class,” Mako replied.

“How old are you anyway? You look like a little baby.”

“I know I look like a fetus. I’m 20,” you pouted, “you’re tall as hell anyway.”

“You have a baby face,” he stated.

“I know,” you kept murmuring. You kept your eyes on the TV, feeling exhausted already from talking to this man. It’s too stressful talking to people. He finally leaves you be, starting to eat his chicken sandwich while he also watches the show.

You fell asleep again on the couch while watching the show, already gotten tired from socializing. Mako ate his food in peace, cleaning up after himself. He noticed you are out cold; he carefully pokes you on your shoulder. No response. Gently, he picks you up from the couch with ease. He carries you into his room, putting you on James’s bed. He even tucks you in. He felt this weird … Urge to protect you, probably because you’re very weak compared to him. He shrugs off the thought, leaving you alone to go off on his last classes. You kept sleeping, even when people started coming back during the evening.

* * *

“Alright – I made a backup file to be uploaded in case. Did you catch this person’s name?” Olivia looks up at James, sitting next to her cross-legged.

“Oh no,” he shook his head.

“Welp, you can go ask them for their name. Let me give you my number,” she suggested, opening her cell up.

“Oh yeah sure,” James nodded, also taking out his cellphone.

After exchanging numbers, Sombra looks down to see if the coast is clear before translocating back to the ground. After taking the last classes of the day, James finally went back to his dorm at some point in the evening. James finds you still asleep on his bed. He starts to grow worried about how much you been sleeping. 


	4. The Nurse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally go to a doctor because you are clearly a mess

“Hey kiddo,” James pokes at your squishy cheeks, checking if you’re awake. You stay unresponsive to his touch. He pouted, getting a bit worried. However, he leaves you alone to work on his homework. Mako is also working on his stuff, typing on his laptop.

“Did they ever talk to you?” James asks, looking through his essay.

“Yes,” Mako nodded a little.

“Did they tell you their name?” James asks further.

“… Oh, no,” Mako raise his head up in realization, having never asked you for your name.

“They only told me their age, just wanted to know because … I mean you’re supposed to know their name, it’s their name,” James fidget a little.

“They just told me they are from Houston,” Mako stated.

“Houston? That’s states away from here!” James pointed out.

“That’s what I said. The weird part is their explanation for how they came here. They said they teleported here, like just appear out of nowhere,” Mako explain.

“Maybe Vaswani might know about it? I can ask her – did they explain what kind of teleportation?” James asks further.

“No, they just said they use to live with their parents,” Mako said.

They kept working on their laptops, still being confused about your appearance in their back of their minds. They froze a little when they heard creaking behind them. James turn to look behind him to see you climbing down from the top bunk. You tiptoe over to James.

“Hey kiddo, you need anything?” James turns his body more to your direction.

“Where’s the toilet?” you ask flatly.

James nodded a little, putting his laptop down to lead you to where the restrooms are. He opens the door only to quickly close it when Lucio suddenly made a high-pitch squeal at you two.

“Why you didn’t close it, you dipstick?!” James exclaimed.

“Sorry!” he yelled from behind the door. Eventually he finished what he was doing and opened the door, going back to his room through the door on the other side of the bathroom. James pat your back to usher you in. You stood there, not closing the door. Reason being is that you don’t know how. It’s like a slide-in door. James stood awkwardly in the room.  
“… Oh yeah – uh press the occupy button so no one comes in,” James instructed.

“What’s that?” you ask.

“Right there …? It’s red for occupied and green for available, see?” James pointed at the buttons on the keypad. When you nodded a little as if you understood, he came out the bathroom and close the door.

You press the red button before doing what you need to do. You slowly understand what button is for, based on pictures or context clue. You figured out how to flush the toilet. You then move to the sink, watching your hands. You forgot for a moment what to do – then you remember to press the green button and then slide the door to open through the keypad. You stumble out the door, closing it behind you. You were going to climb up to your bed when suddenly James turn to call you.

“Hey kiddo! We never got your name,” James pointed out.

“Oh … My name is (y/n),” you responded, not bothering to look at him in the eye.

“Your full name – Let me introduce myself too,” James murmur, getting up to face you.

“My name is Jamison Fawkes. My friend here is Mako R-- … Wait what’s your last name?” James turn his head towards Mako.

“Rutledge,” Mako stated stubbornly.

“Yeah, so what’s your name again?” James turn back to you.

“… (y/n) (l/n),” you said, yawning.

“Oh okay, nice to meet you (y/n),” James shook your tired hand.

“Tell me if you need anything, alright?”

You nodded, earning head pats from James. You climb back to his bed to sleep some more. Meanwhile, James texted your full name to Olivia. She responds with “yeahhh they are not a student. I can fix this whole thing though – did they told you their hobbies?”

* * *

The next day, you are left alone again. You didn’t mind though since you don’t like people. You just wanted to sleep all day. James and Mako ate their cereal while the medical students are at the kitchen. Again, Jesse and Hanzo left early. At some point, James got up from the sofa and walk up to the group.

“Hey uhh… I’m worried for a friend – They sleep like 20 hours a day and I don’t know if they are eating enough...? Should I take them to a doctor?” James asks, the medical students turning to look at him.

“Tinnitus,” Lucio randomly said.

“What? No, anyways–Jamison, it depends on the situation, but it doesn’t hurt to go check it out,” Baptiste suggested.

“Is any medic around today at any time?” James asks, scratching the back of his head.

“Angela will be on from 12 to 17 while I’ll be there in the mornings,” Baptiste replied.

James stood there, debating whether to introduce you right now or wait until Olivia says it’s cool.

“Oh okay, just worried for them,” James nodded, kind of faltering at the end.

“Just talk to them to show them you care,” Baptiste nodded back, smiling.

“Aight, thanks mate,” James smiled back, going back to sit on the couch.

Winston’s class took a break from the experiments to explain the theories more and to announce the visitation of a well-known Dutch astrophysicist. It’s awfully boring. James is usually interested in chemistry stuff, specifically when it involves creating explosives. This class is just to make him smarter, but he’s not an “expert” on the stuff as much as Vaswani or Lena is. After class, Olivia caught up with James to tell him the plan.

“The application and stuff are made – just need to legitimatize it and then bam, they are a student,” Olivia explained.

“Then again, they have to take a checkup and do some medical tests,” she added.

“Do I have to make an appointment or something?” James asks.

“Nah, they can just come in,” Olivia answer.

Olivia, James, and Mako went to lunch together. James got extra food so he can bring it to you, getting worried about your eating habit because nobody complained about their snacks going missing at all. He only brought pizza slices, fries, and a cheeseburger from the cafeteria. He came in quickly after he ate, finding you still sleeping in his bed.

“You sleep so much, kiddo! You are starting to worry me,” James said, patting the bed frame.

You got up to see the smiling man with a plastic box in his hand and a drink can. You reluctantly got off the bed and climb down, taking the things James is giving you. You sat on the small couch in the room and quickly start eating. James sit next to you to watch you eat and try to speak to you.

“Oh yeah uhh, hey … How would you like being part of my university? A smart friend of mine got everything set up for you,” James beamed, showing a toothy grin.

“I’m too stupid,” you mumbled, continuing to eat your fries and burger.

“Nah, I don’t think so,” James assure, petting your head … Then he suddenly pulls you in a tight hug, rubbing his chin over your fluffy hair.

“Hey hey slow down … You can finish your food tomorrow,” James assure, closing the box. You’re eating your food too quickly, not getting most of the chewing done.

“…. I want to shower, but I have nothing,” you said.

“Use my shampoo and my body wash, I barely use it anyway,” he admitted.

You wanted to say more but is too embarrassed to say. You always think you are going to say something bad or something that needs to be kept a secret, so you barely speak up. James suddenly remembers that Angela is still around for check-ups until the evening, prompting James to quickly pick you up after you are done eating.

Mako turns from the couch when he saw James holding you in his arms.

“… Where are you taking them?” Mako asks roughly.

“To the doctor! – I’ll come back later!” James nodded to Mako’s direction, carrying you to the nurse’s office.

* * *

“Oh, are they your little sibling?” Angela asks cheerfully.

“Kind of ...? I see them as a sibling” James explain, albeit a bit nervously.

Angela did the usual doctor things, like checking your breathing and your face holes. She is gentle with her touches until she does the dumb thing where she kneads your stomach, causing you to wince in pain.

“Where does it hurt?” Angela asks, concerned.

“… My left rib has been hurting,” you said.

“Your rib?” she feels around your torso more, making you wince more in pain.

“… Have you been the restroom recently?” Angela asks.

“She peed last night,” James randomly answered.

“No, I mean – have you pooped?” Angela specific, sounding awkward having to say the childish term.

“… I don’t remember the last time I pooped,” you answered.

“Oh, that’s not good,” Angela shook her head a little.

“I been constipated since I was very young. Don’t know why,” you said.

“Oh nooo,” Angela coos.

She done some more tests. She checks your weight, look down your throat, etc. She even got you to give blood for tests. James cringe a little, but you didn’t budge when she sticks the needle onto your arm to draw blood samples. You look in awe as she dabs something onto your skin, quickly healing it like it’s never probed.

James is with you throughout the whole thing. Even though he only met you a day ago, he already got attached to you. Something about you is likable. Maybe it’s your cuteness, maybe it’s how funny your comments are … But whatever it is, James cares about you.

Angela comes back later with the tests. Your blood test shows you are perfectly healthy, however, Angela noted that your blood sugar is kind of low while you show signs of dehydration. You were surprised the tests came back immediately since you remember having to wait for days.

James finally takes you back to the dorms, holding your hand like you really are like a little sister or something. There was sounds of ribbits and crickets all around, with a slight whoosh of the winds.

“Don’t listen to her, you’re perfectly fine the way you are,” James said sternly.

“About the dehydration??” you look up a little in confusion.

“She told you to lower your weight. Don’t listen to that bullshit, I almost went off on her over stuff like that. I don’t like it when people make fun of my friend’s weight, like Mako. It makes me rage for some reason,” James explain.

“She’s just doing her job. All doctors do that. At least she walked and not just talk like all the other ones,” you assure.

“Walk and not talk?” James look at you.

“Like … At least she’s following her advice. She’s skinny. Other doctors would be obese but lecture you about the issues they also have,” you explain further.

“Ahh okay,” James nodded.

“Even gym teachers. None of my gym teachers appear physically fit, which makes no sense because they are gym teachers,” you pointed out.

“Oight, I get it,” James nodded.

“Hypocrites. I hate them,” you grumbled.

“You need to take a mental examination also,” James sighed.

“…” you look down, appearing a bit nervous.

“I’m sure it’s not bad. If they manage to get my crazy self, I’m sure you’re fine,” James assure, patting your shoulder.

“I’m mentally ill,” you quickly said.

“No, don’t call yourself that,” James rub small circles on your back.

“You want to know why I’m sleeping a lot? Because it tires me out being alive. Talking exhausts me, playing tires me out, thinking tires me out … Only thing that keeps me awake is being anxious about meaningless things, like failed friendships and paranoia. I’m relaxed because now I have no way of contacting the people I use to know. I hate people, James. Don’t take it personal like an idiot though,” you explained, feeling shameful because you feel weak.

“You’re fine, (y/n). Mako also doesn’t like talking. He gets annoyed with how hyper I am,” he reassures, patting your back.

“I don’t get it, why are people so fucking complicated? Why do they get angry over meaningless things but then excuse it over and over if it’s someone they really like? Hypocrites, I fucking hate hypocrites,” you clench your teeth angrily.

“I know I know … Humans sucks, I know,” James kept patting your back.

“… I lost a friend just because I doubted her. But then her stupid ass warned me beforehand about her doing the same thing! She can stop talking to me over me opening about my insecurities, but then she kept forgiving this fuckboi for worse offences, even though her stupid ass already have a loyal boyfriend. She constantly cries to me about how he’s not giving her attention. There are weird inconsistencies like okay, why do you need to remove me from the group to delete your server? You can delete your server without kicking people out. That’s very suspect. Then she would talk bad about others behind their backs then be nice towards them in the face. Fuck her. She wants to be a bitch, go ahead. Gargle some dicks like the desperate attention-seeking bitch you are--… I’m sorry …” you cringe at yourself, twitching.

“What’s a server?”

“… Huh?”

“A server. What you mean?” James asks.

“Like an intricate group chat on this one app. You can delete the group chat without kicking people out, so it’s weird for me to get kicked for that reason,” you explain.

“Ohh” James nodded a little.

“… I’m an asshole, I’m sorry for ruining your image of me, I’m so sorry—”

“I’m friends with a hacker that can potentially leak my nudes, what’s the worst you can do?” James pointed out.

“Your nudes?!” you busted out a little.

“Yeah, my big dynamite, for the whole world to see,” James stated, stretching his arms out.

You giggled, earning a smile from James.

“You’re fine, (y/n). Rant all you want about your enemies – the gargling dick line is awesome,” he snickered.

“It’s been stuck in my head,” you admitted.

“Your eyes. Your eyes look so sad and tired,” James coos a little.

“Because I’m constantly disappointed,” you said.

“These humans, they are so exhausting and such a huge disappointment.”


	5. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally figured out how you end up in their lives.

James managed to take you back home. Mako is still on the sofa when they came back, eating the rest of his Chinese takeout. You quickly run to his room, not wanting to take anymore since you’re too embarrassed of yourself. You scrambled to the top bunk, feeling your anxiety spiking up. You know people are going to figure out what you really are. It freaks you out thinking about it. You don’t want people to know you exist, you don’t want to. You don’t want to…

…. You couldn’t go back to sleep, still cringing at yourself as you continue to torment yourself with memories. You quickly got out of bed, feeling so gross and disappointed … You stagger over to the restroom, eyes growing more sunken as your skin got pale. You close the door behind you. You slowly got in the shower area --- you saw a few knobs on the wall there. You fidget around with the cold and hot ones a little, figuring out the mechanics. After getting a hang of it, you got undressed. You put your clothes on the floor before gingerly going into the shower. You try to look around for soap or a shampoo to use. You look up to see a bunch of bottles at this in wall shelf thingy. You try to figure out which is which and what could be James’s stuff. and a shampoo. didn’t have a scrub or a sponge, so you just rub furiously at yourself with the body wash.

Meanwhile Mako and James sat on the couch together, watching that paranormal show they always watch.

“… How are they?” Mako asks out of the blue.

“They can’t poop,” James said.

“… Huh.” Mako grunted a little.

“Their blood work looks great, just that they need a lot of water,” James explained a little, kind of distracted.

“Did you show them where the water is?” Mako asks some more.

“I don’t think I gave them a tour … Mako I don’t want others to see them,” James whispered towards Mako.

“Nobody knows they are here?” Mako tilt his head a little.

James shook his head confidently; eyes still glue to the television.

“They are going to see them one day. They can’t stay cooped up in here all day, Jamison,” Mako advised.

“They’ll be aight,” James assure softly, waving his hands a little.

Mako suddenly turn the TV off, annoying James.

  
“Hey! What was that about?!” James complained.

“I never see that person eat or drink anything. You’re treating that person like some pet,” Mako stated.

“Did you not see me feed them? How am I treating them like a pet?!” James furrow his brows, getting exasperated.

“They need to go back to Houston – go back home, where they supposed to be,” Mako explained.

“They are a student here now, Mako. They can’t just disappear out of the blue like that,” James exclaim, not sure what to argue against. Suddenly they hear a knock on their door. James got up to check it out, grumbling to himself before he realizes who was behind the door.

James slide the door open to see Olivia with her laptop.

“Hola,” Olivia grins.

“Oh hey! I didn’t know you are coming here – come in,” James wave his hand out, going back to the couch.

Olivia close the door behind her, coming over to sit on the floor next to the coffee table. Mako turn to see who it was, still kind of annoyed at James’s immaturity.

“So, what brings you here?” James smiled, sitting back where he was.

“So about (y/n) -- James, I found something weird about this person,” Olivia texted.

“What do you mean?” James falter a little, Mako suddenly having his attention to Olivia.

“Apparently they are born during the 1990s,” Olivia stated, fumbling through her computer to pull up some files.

“… Oh they are super baby face,” James commented amusingly.

“Are they elderly by any chance?” Olivia lift her eyebrow at him.

“No! They look like they barely turn 20,” James shook his head.

“Weird … Because it says here in the files and – wait huh,” Olivia squinted at the purple screen.

“What?” James lift his head up.

“… Apparently, they been filed missing during the early 2020s, que en chingada …?” Olivia mess around with her laptop more, including her purple buttons.

Mako and James sat there stunned, oddly feeling like there is something to be said on the tip of their tongue.

“… Where is she?” Olivia asks.

“In the room – actually let me check,” James got up from his couch, stretching.

He walks over to the room, calling your name. He looks up at the top bunk only to see it empty. He looks around until he processed the sound of a shower. He walks over and saw that the door is not closed for occupied. Getting worried, he slide open the door.

“(y/n)?” James asks, looking over the shower curtain.

James got closer only for his heart to stop a little. He opened the curtains a little to see you kneeling there, arms tightly holding onto your knees while burrowing your face onto your kneecaps. It looks awfully cheesy and dramatic the scene before him. James quickly got over to turn off the water, shivering when he felt how cold the water is. He quickly ran out the bathroom to get a towel – he took a clean one from Mako and came back running. It’s an awfully huge blanket.

“(y/n), you alright? What’s wrong?” James asks worryingly, patting your head softly.

“… I forgot I don’t have anything,” you mumbled out, still hugging your knees. You are barely audible.

“(y/n), get in the towel – I won’t look, I promise,” James assure, looking away to the left. He heard you slowly get up, feeling the towel he is holding up get taken away. You nudge him to move, causing him to move back a little so you can stand on your dirty clothing. You furiously rub around to dry up, messing your hair up in the process, until you completely cover themselves like an oversize cloak. You got your flip flops on before you walk out of the bathroom. James is still standing there with his eyes covered. He opened one eye to see you’re out of the bathroom, gently opening his eyes up and carefully walk out. You sat on the couch, miserable looking, shivering. James looks up at you, concerned, before going through his drawer. He pulls out a boxer, a tanktop, and some cargo pants. He comes back to you, giving you these clothing.

“You can use them, it’s cool,” James nodded. You nodded slowly, still lowering your head down in shame.

James walk back to the room, closing the door behind him. Olivia and Mako glance up at him.

“… They just got a shower, give them a break,” James said, going back to sit on the couch.

“…”

“What?” James look up at Mako.

Mako looks at the television slowly, James and Sombra following suit.

“ _The room has no strand of DNA. There were no signs of a struggle nor a note. There are no signs of forced entry neither; both front and back doors are locked shut while the windows are undisturbed …_ ”

James’s eyes widen. Olivia quickly looks up your name on a regular search browser, feeling her heart beating from excitement. That’s when the search engine shows many photos of you – graduation photos, photos of you with your family, photos of you when you are younger … They were all talking about that very missing person’s case; the person that disappeared in 2018.

The three looks stunned, confused. They sat there in silence – Olivia looks like she is about to laugh while James stay with his mouth opened in shock. Out of nowhere, they heard a door opening. You walk past the three, wearing the clothes James gave you, to go get something from the kitchen. Olivia beamed when she saw you really are the missing person.

Your hair color, your skin, your sad eyes, your young appearance, your name, age … It’s you!

You come out the kitchen with a bottle of water.

“(Y/N)!!” the three quickly got up, scaring you to almost dropping your water. You stare wide eye at the three, confused.

“How – Okay, so it’s a long story …” Olivia rub her brow.

You are suddenly sitting on the couch between Mako and James, still confused on what the hubbub is about.

“I don’t know where to start, huh …” Olivia looks around, standing around confused.

“Why are you people acting stupid? Cut to the chase,” you suddenly blurted out, kind of shock at your sudden confidence.

“When you told Mako you teleported into this world, you actually mean it?” James asks sheepishly.

“Yes,” you nodded.

“Do you know today’s date? – no, do you know today’s year?” Olivia asks you.

“2017 ...? 2018, no, my bad ...” you stutter, forgetting the concept of time for a hot minute.

Olivia looks up at James as he looks back.

“I know this sounds stupid but it’s 2076,” Olivia admitted, looking back at you.

“… Huh?” you squint.

“Wait – that means that time machine …” James perk up.

“Please explain how you end up at the science building,” Olivia asks.

“… I end up at this room with this big machine thingy. Don’t know what it is …” you stutter, not knowing what’s going on at this point.

“Then my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me,” James mutter, rubbing his face.

“What do you mean?” Olivia turns to James.

“When they tested the time machine – I saw something move in the dark, it was probably them,” James pointed out. He then moves towards you to touch you, feeling your forehead and cheeks. You kept looking at the TV as it keeps explaining your supposed disappearance.

“Pff what are you doing?” Olivia asks.

“Wouldn’t they get weird effects like that thing Lena has?” James asks worryingly, still feeling your head.

“They would be disappearing all over the place already … Unless you want to tell Winston about it,” Olivia said.

“Should we?” James look up with sadness in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, confused.

“(y/n), you were time-travelled. You teleported into fifty years into the future basically because of that stupid machine,” Olivia said bluntly.

“… Ohh no wonder everything looks too advanced … You people don’t know Netflix or Apple or uhh…” you try to ask, being in disbelief.

“Carambas those companies are old – they haven’t been around since the 2030s” Olivia raise her brows in surprise.

You still feel off. It’s too much to processed, so your mind kind of gave up on trying to understand everything. You’re already feeling messed up already … You just got off from the couch and went on your way to the room.

“Hey! You can be a student here! I fixed everything up so everything is legit – just need to change your name a little bit,” Olivia explained, smiling calmly.

“Okay, do what you need to do,” you replied in a melancholic tone, closing the door behind.

The three sat there, not knowing what else to do for you. They suddenly felt pity for you, especially when remembering the things said about you and your personal issues.

“ _There are plenty of theories to this case. The first theory is the person committed suicide, despite no suicide note found nor a body. This is based on their past struggles with clinical depression and anxiety. Some friends commented that they were told about their suicidal thoughts…_ ”

Olivia kept fixing up your files, giving you a slightly different name and changing your birthday. She finally said goodbye to the two men, walking out before curfew.

* * *

“… That’s horrible,” Mako spoke, cleaning the bowls at the kitchen.

“But we solved a very old mystery! (y/n) wasn’t kidnapped or raped or killed or anything, shouldn’t you be happy they end up being alive and well?” James try to be optimistic, drying the last of the plates.

“James – their parents are probably dead. Most of their relatives are probably dead by now, they are by themselves,” Mako said sternly.

“… They have us, Mako,” James gave a sad smile.

“You idiot, feel sorry for them for once in your stupid life,” Mako grumbled.

James stood there stunned, not knowing what else to say.

“… Do you know why they don’t eat? Do you know why they don’t seem to act normal?” Mako scolded.

“Hey, we’re weirdoes too!” James exclaimed.

“James, they are _autistic_. Not only are they depressed and is reported to be suicidal, they are diagnosed with high functioning. Did you now listen to the information?!” Mako explained angrily.

“Vaswani is autistic too, you are telling me they are too stupid to live?” James frowned.

“Idiot! It’s not an insult. They need HELP. They can’t learn to do things on their own, especially when they come from a whole different planet,” Mako growled.

He finished washing the plates and stomps over into his room, leaving James alone in the kitchen. He dries the plates with his head down. Nobody is coming back to the dorms yet, despite curfew.

Mako comes in the room, slamming the door. That made you flinch back up, your heart beating. You are on James’s bed, cuddling there. Mako got busy undressing to change into sleepwear, grumbling to himself.

“… Don’t feel sorry for me, humans,” you suddenly said.

Mako lift his head up quickly, confused for a little bit until he remembers you’re there. You’re not looking at anyone.

“… Sorry,” Mako said, albeit sounding sheepish.

You eventually turn to him, your chin hanging from the edge of the bed to look at Mako. He’s already wearing his boxers, not really fazing you.

“Is that why you never look at people in the eyes?” Mako asks.

“Yeah. I have high functioning autism. I’m just weird,” you shrug, not concerned about it.

Mako looks up to your tired face, hiding his sympathy behind his mask.

“You’re not weird, you’re just different,” Mako mumbled. He took his mask off, going to the restroom to brush his teeth.

“pff, what’s the difference?” you murmur amusingly.

You didn’t really care about the fact you’re in the spectrum. You just know you’re stuck being yourself until you don’t exist anymore. You have other issues to worry about, like what a dumbass you are. You turn to your left side to sleep some more.


	6. It Actually Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wtf yesterday I saw the thing only having 20 views but then came back hours later with more hits and two kudos. I know it's just two but thank you all for reading this weird thingamajingy
> 
> You finally got to see the rest of the folks in the dorms

“what is autism exactly?” James asks the medical students. They were getting ready for the day and just standing around the kitchen.

“Depending on which part of the spectrum, autism is a developmental disorder that causes issue with communication and social skills. Sometimes motor skills and critical thinking is affected. They can still live a normal life like everyone else though, they are just difference in their own ways,” Baptiste explains, fixing himself some coffee in the kitchen.

“Then what’s high functioning?” Mako asks, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

“People think it means quote on quote “less autistic” but it just means the person has less obvious symptoms. They still have a hard time socializing and more likely to have trouble living on their own, but again – they can still live a happy life,” Baptiste explain.

“Vaswani seem normal to me,” James scratch his head a little.

“Of course, it’s not really a disease,” Baptiste shrugs.

“However, we don’t know the full extent of her struggles so it’s best not to assume,” he added.

“James, stop talking about what’s normal – that is rude,” Mako said sternly.

“What is normal? Everyone is weird in their own ways,” James replied.

“He means that it’s rude to say that because it’s bringing this assumption that they are not normal in the first place,” Baptiste explains.

“Talk to me,” someone said.

Everyone turns to see your tired self. You woke up and is drinking the rest of the water in your bottle, rubbing your eyes.

“Oh, hey! Someone new!” Lucio beamed.

“Gentlemen, meet (y/n)!” James introduced you, walking next to you to pat on your head.

The people said their hellos to you. You try your best to look up at them, smiling a little.

“They are also Autisti—” James gets a smack from Mako, hearing him growling lowly

“Don’t put their business out there.”

The medical students are taken aback from the sudden outburst, but you pat Mako’s arm.

“Hey hey hey, it’s okay -- I really don’t care,” you assure.

James rub his face in annoyance while Mako got off his case, looking down at you. You turn to the three people in the kitchen.

“They are asking you a bunch of questions because they want to understand me – I have high functioning autism,” you announced.

“Glad you’re not ashamed of it, because it’s really nothing to be embarrassed about,” Baptiste smile kindly.

“My name is (y/n), nice to meet you humans,” you stick your hand out, nodding a bit.

Baptiste, Lucio, and Zenyatta shook hands with you and introduce themselves.

“They are going to be living with us,” James announced cheerfully.

“Oh really? Who is going to be your roommate?” Lucio asks curiously.

You shrug.

“Did you just come here?” Lucio asks.

You nodded yes.

“Well, I basically don’t have a roommate anymore because Jesse keeps hanging out with Hanzo,” Lucio pointed out.

“They been fucking,” James suddenly commented.

Baptiste chokes on his coffee. Mako facepalmed while others have their eyes wide in surprise.

“I’M SERIOUS – the day I met (y/n), I ran out the room because they start getting at it while I was writing my essay!” James exclaimed.

“Welp, no wonder they are always together,” Lucio shrugs, Baptiste still dying and coughing a fit in the background.

“Anyways – (y/n), you can be my roommate!” Lucio smile.

“Okei,” you shrug, not seeing a problem with that.

“… Do anyone have a question about my shenanigans?” you ask, slightly backing away because the kitchen is too crowded.

“Are you getting any help with your autism or you’re doing okay?” Baptiste asks, clearing his throat still.

“I only had speech therapy as a child, but I’m fine for now,” you answered.

“Okay, just don’t be afraid to ask for help – they are offering some services if you need help with your education,” Baptiste explain.

You nodded. You remember you got help like giving your own space for testing and such.

“Oh shoot, you need to go get a mental evaluation –” James whispered to you, crouching a little.

“Oh, I can fix an appointment for you,” Zenyatta volunteered.

“Eh, whatever,” James shrugs, seemingly annoyed.

You walk over a little closer, nodding yes to him. Zenyatta wa… wait no he floats. He floated towards you to lead you to the living room.

“Do I need to give you my medical history or pay you?” you ask.

“Oh no, you’re good. The documents are optional,” Zenyatta wave his hand.

You’re surprised. You remember how talking to your psychiatrist costed you two hundred dollars, not including the costs of the antidepressants.

“I’m available tomorrow, you want to meet me by 5:00 PM?” Zenyatta suggested.

You nodded excitedly. But then you felt James’s tense hand on your shoulder. You flinched a little, looking up at him. He glares down at Zenyatta.

“I’ll see you then, my friend. I need to get ready for today’s classes,” Zenyatta nodded, not worried about James at all nor his hostile look.

You waved goodbye to him as he turns, going to his room. Soon the medical students are off, leaving you with the two men looking after you.

“Scrapheap,” James grumbled.

“Huh?” you look up.

“What? A robot isn’t going to understand how humans think,” James scowled, sitting on the couch.

“… Did that man do something to you?” you asked meekly, still standing there awkwardly.

“Uhh … Not specifically him but – look, I hate robots,” James declared.

“… Wait he’s a robot? That’s not a costume?” you asked, sitting down on the couch with him.

“Wh—Oh yeah, I forgot you came from the past,” he realizes.

“Pff, you believe in that conspiracy then?” you giggle nervously.

“What conspiracy?” James look up at you.

“That artificial intelligence is going to destroy humanity?” you said, smiling nervously. 

“… That's exactly how it happened, not gonna lie," James stared at you. 

You stood there shocked, scared to say anything.

“… Wait no? People are still here,” you said, unsure.

“Right, right, I forgot you didn’t live through it – basically that. Robots came over, killed people, destroy their homes, destroy lives, etc.,” James sat stubbornly, scowling at the tv.

“… Did something happened to you?” you asked timidly.

James peer over at Mako, who is moving his laundry basket out of the room.

“Mako and I both are from Australia. We were hit hard by the bots, destroying a bunch of stuff. They think it’s a great idea to displace numerous people so they can give the land to the machines. We try to fight back, rebel against them so we can have what was ours but then … well… Everything went to shit there,” James muses.

“Who gave them land?”

“Government officials”

“What the fuck?”

“I know, right?! If it wasn’t for this university and the people here, we would have … I have no idea what would become of us honestly,” James stated. Mako left the room with the laundry basket, presumably to do laundry.

“But if the robots are so violent, then why isn’t that person doing anything?” you asked curiously.

“He will. I’m waiting until he does,” he stated, blinking slowly.

You fidget on your seat nervously.

“James … Uh …”

James stares at you, scaring you.

“… Let’s just say I’m descended from people that have been scapegoated and persecuted. Not just one group – I’m basically an amalgamation of everything bigots hate. I have a good enough of a reason to hate the persecutors, but it’s not going to heal wounds,” you stutter a little.

James kept looking at you with those big amber eyes.

“Anger doesn’t fix things – I have to learn that the hard way with how my parents treated me,” you mutter some more.

James got stunned, lowering his posture to appear smaller.

“I get that it’s easy to ease the pain by pinning the blame on others. If you want to get mad, get mad at your government for letting such a thing happen. Are they that incompetent that they end up screwing over their own citizen?” you try to be logical with your reasoning.

James look down a little, nodding a little.

“Not only did that idiot screw you over but they screwed EVERYONE over, that’s horrible,” you pointed out.

James looked as if he is trying to think, but your paranoid brain kept screaming at you that you made him angry. You thought you saw him growling at you, ready to grab you. You cower mindlessly, covering your own mouth to not speak anymore.

“I agree, yes … I’m sorry, kiddo. I know you’re trying to help but it’s not going to bring my life back. I’m not the only one hurt by this, you know,” James said softly, sounding unsure.

You didn’t say anything. You got too terrified. You’re too scared.

“… (y/n)? What’s wrong? You look like you seen a ghost,” James pointed out, patting your head.

He jumped away from you when you whined.

“What’s the matter?!” James furrow his brows, scared for you.

You curl into a ball, covering your ears.

“(y/n), what’s wrong? Did I do something?” he asks worryingly, scared to touch you.

His heart broke when he saw how terrified you are, not bothering to look at him. He can’t tell Mako because he left to do laundry. James quickly got up, pacing around the dorm while you cradle on the couch.

James suddenly came back with balls in his hands, showing them to you. You peer up to the balls, suddenly confused. You look at him. James looks scared for you but have a shaky smile. He stood up, starting to juggle the balls in front of you. You look in confusion at his antics, but you slowly unwind. James’s smile got bigger when he saw it’s working, so he kept juggling his balls around. He saw you were tearing up.

“Fuck you doing?”

James look up to see Mako is back with an empty basket. Then he looks at you, tears streaming down on your face.

… Mako slowly put the basket down, stomping towards you two. You suddenly curl into a ball again while James stops juggling.

“Why they cry?” Mako grumbled.

“I don’t know,” James shrug, holding the balls.

“Oh really?”

“They were talking to me but then they start panic– Oh …” James suddenly remembered.

_I have to learn that the hard way with how my parents treated me_

You look up, appearing very afraid.

“What did James do?” Mako asks, looking straight at you.

“… I got scared, sorry,” you blinked away your tears, rubbing it off with your arm.

“You sure?” Mako kept staring down at you.

“I’m just a scaredy cat, it’s cool,” you kept rubbing your eyes.

Mako stare down at James for a second before going back to get his basket, leaving it in his room.

“Are you angry at me?” you asked fearfully.

“Huh? No, why?” James looks down at you, still worried.

“I got scared. I thought I made you angry,” you hugged your knees close.

“Oh no! I was just listening to you – does your parents have something to do with it?” James asks.

You nodded, albeit hesitantly.

“Oh …” James frowned, having an idea on why you reacted that way. Mako got out of the room, casually picking you up to move you more to the left of the couch so he have room to sit. Then he pulls out some tissue paper for you. You carefully took it from his large hand, whispering a thank you. James sit next to you too.

“… You don’t need to talk about it, it’s okay buddy,” he gave a melancholic smile, petting your head.

The three of you sat on the couch, deciding to watch the paranormal show. They watched an episode where paranormal investigators are trying to look for the mothman. Eventually they must leave for classes but come back for lunch, giving you some food to eat. Olivia came over to visit you and go over the plans for your new student life.

“I made your major to be undecided, but you can talk to an advisor if you decided what you want. Here is your advisor, the map ….” Olivia went on, telling you what you need to know while you sat there chewing your pizza slice.

Jesse and Hanzo comes back home after seemingly forever in the evening. Jesse didn’t recognize you, piquing his curiosity. You were sitting with Mako and James when he quickly comes over to see you.

“Hey, I don’t recognize you,” Jesse smiled down at you. You stood up quickly, sticking your hand out to greet him. He shook your hand eagerly.

“The name’s Jesse, and you?”

“(y/n),” you replied softly, trying your best to look up at him.

“Nice to meet you, (y/n),” Jesse beamed.

“Hey Jesse!” Lucio called to him.

“Yeah Lucio?” Jesse turn to Lucio, coming over to him.

“You don’t mind sleeping in Hanzo’s room, right?” Lucio asks curiously.

“Eh heh heh, I don’t mind, why?” Jesse blushed slightly, giggling.

“(y/n) is our new dorm mate since uhh you know … But I asked them if they are okay with being my roommate and they seem cool with it,” Lucio explained.

“Oh really? I don’t really mind at all, that sounds mighty fine,” Jesse smiled innocently.

“I’ll let Hanzo know,” Jesse nodded, going over to Hanzo to tell him the situation. You were too distracted on the TV to notice Jesse pointing you as reference, Hanzo looking over to see the newcomer. He nodded shyly, agreeing with the idea. Jesse spent most of the evening moving his stuff over to Hanzo’s room. Genji must have come over at some point because most of his stuff is gone.

You got up and walked over to James room, ready to sleep. You left yourself with your tank top and boxer briefs, climbing up on James’s bed.

“Hey, where’s (y/n)?” Lucio asks James, currently on the couch.

“Probably went to sleep. They sleep a lot for some reason,” James replied.

“Where tho? Weren’t they going to sleep at our room?” he asks, sounding a bit confused.

“They been sleeping in my room,” James admitted with no problem.

“Oh what? This whole time? Why didn’t you introduce the person sooner then?” Lucio asks curiously.

“Ya were busy and they are very shy, so that’s why it took this long,” James shrugged, not seeing anything unusual.

“Where were you sleeping?” Lucio kept asking.

“On the couch. My joints hate me, but I wanted them to be comfortable on my bunk – speaking of which uhh I’ll go check on them,” James nodded, getting up to go to the room. Climbing up a little, he sticks his head up to see you laying on his bed. Despite the lights being off, he saw you there, like always. He carefully got down, coming back to the living room to keep speaking to Lucio.

“… Can I sleep on that bed for tonight?” James asks gleefully.


	7. I Hate People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> major angst ahead my dudes ripppp

You sat nervously in the halls, James standing next to you while leaning himself on the wall. You were on the floor, hugging your knees close. You flinched when a door open. Zenyatta comes out of the door, greeting you. James glared a little to the side, not looking at him while you got up to your feet. 

You two end up in a small room with high ceilings. You suddenly feel too nervous, not knowing what to say since you have so much issues. You can write a book of how problematic you are. 

“How you are doing?” Zenyatta asks softly. 

“… Nervous,” you said honestly. 

“It’s okay, no judgement here. Is there any previous diagnosis?” Zenyatta lifted his head up. 

“Generalized anxiety disorder,” you quickly said. 

“Okay, from 1 to 10, how nervous have you been?” he asks. 

“… 9,” you stated meekly. 

“Any symptoms?”

“Rapid heartbeats, panic attacks, overwhelming feelings of shame and guilt …” your eyes peer around the room, not looking up at Zenyatta. You’re not even sure where are his eyes. Is it the blue dots or the two slits? 

“Does social situations scare you?”

“YES,”

“Intrusive thoughts?”

“Yes”

“From 1 to 10, how depressed do you feel? Have you been diagnosed with clinical depression?” 

“Yes … Nine,” you said

“Suicidal thoughts?” 

“… Sometimes,” you said, hesitantly. 

“How often?”

“Not often … During times of stress.”  
“Example?” 

“…” you’re not sure what to explain or what to tell him. 

“You’re not going to get in trouble, it’s okay to let me know,” Zenyatta assures. 

“… Stress. Like I feel like I’m going to fail a test or a friend … Uh …” you hesitate some more. You’re not sure if thoughts are even a huge deal. Do you want to die? You remember the many panic attacks you got when you think too much on the idea of mortality, even as an elementary school kid. Growing old have terrorized you. Why suddenly it doesn’t scare you? You no longer care if the afterlife exists?

… You weren’t scare when the darkness enveloped you the day you disappear. You legit remember thinking this is it; I wonder if people are going to know what happened to you. Would they care? Would they cry? Would they lie and pretend that they cared for you? “OH, they were my best friend! How dreadful!” or maybe … “good, they deserve it.”

“(y/n)?” 

You start to clench your teeth, balling your fists discreetly while looking into nothing. 

“… On a scale of one to 10, how suicidal are you?” 

“ …. Seven,” you said slowly. 

Most of the conversation went like that. He’s just asking basic questions and asking for your ratings. At some point, you look over at Zenyatta; you’re trying to figure out if he is an actual robot or a cyborg. You mindlessly stretch your arms out to hold his face up, looking around his limbs and wiring. 

“Is something on me?” he asks, not faze by you. 

“… I don’t know what you are, I’m really ignorant about it,” you admitted. 

“You don’t know what an omnic is?” Zenyatta tilt his head. 

You shook your head no, letting go of him. 

“Strange … You didn’t know about the Omnic crisis?” he asks. 

“What?” 

“Omnic crisis,” he repeated. 

“I don’t know what that is, sorry,” you shook your head. 

“You’re awfully closeted, interesting,” Zenyatta pointed out. You debated on whether to tell him your situation or not, but then … 

“You seem hesitant … Is everything alright?” 

“I’m from the early 21st century, like the 2000s,” you try to explain. 

He tilts his head in concern. You blushed hard, feeling embarrassed at yourself with how stupid you look. 

“I’m serious, I time-travelled into the future by accident. If you try to watch me interact with technology things, you’ll see it,” you said sheepishly. 

“… Fine, assume I am hallucinating or something,” you sat there stubbornly, glaring to the left. 

“No no … Lena was in a similar situation, it’s plausible,” Zenyatta lift his hands up. 

“… Please don’t close yourself off, trust me,” he reassures. 

“You’re going to tell everyone about what a crazy maniac I am back at the dorm, I know,” you glowered. 

“That is against policies, I cannot talk about personal information of my patients with others,” Zenyatta pointed out, trying to use logic to calm you down. 

“I sense you’re distrustful of everyone?”

You frown solemnly, softening up a little. You keep avoiding eye contact with him. 

“It’s okay, this is a safe space,” Zenyatta told you calmly. 

“I can’t tell if people are angry at me or it’s all in my head,” you mumbled. 

“Go on,” Zenyatta nodded. 

“I mean I don’t know what to tell you – I just know I have an anxiety disorder and depressive symptoms, and it doesn’t help that my Autism is making socializing hard for me,” you look around the room nervously, not liking being vulnerable. 

“Go on …” Zenyatta kept reassuring. 

“… It scares me … Talking to people terrorize me. It sounds illogical, but I rather die than must – talk. I don’t like it, it scares me, people scare me,” you mumbled some more, getting terrified. 

“Why does it scare you to talk?” Zenyatta asks softly. 

“Everything I say will be used against me. People will scream at me, berate me, accuse me of something…” you grew smaller, stuttering and fidgety. 

“… Can you tell me about your parents?” he asks. 

“Dysfunctional family. Father is alcoholic. Mother is always complaining and … stuff ,” you stuttered. 

“How did people treat you as a child?” Zenyatta kept asking. 

“… Nobody had patience with me because I was an autistic child, so I was always ostracized or yelled at,” you admitted. You can feel your eyes getting teary. 

“They would wonder “why do you not talk to other children?” – because they figured out, I was different. I never talked to them because I didn’t see the point.”

“You can’t tell the difference between anger and regular talking?” Zenyatta asks further. 

“… No,” you said. 

“Are the adults in your life angry people?” Zenyatta gives you a box of tissues. 

You nodded, gingerly getting some tissues. 

“Why do you think I’m not really going ballistic about getting transported into the future? Because I don’t care anymore, I just gave up on trying to make sense of things,” you explain, holding down your hiccups. 

“My parents are probably dead; I don’t care anymore … They always talk about how I’m going to suffer without them,” you cross your arms tightly. 

“(y/n) … There is no sugarcoating but – that’s emotional abuse,” Zenyatta pointed out. 

“Heh, Not really … They are too soft on me, always giving me presents. There was this time my mom drove all the way to my school because I forgot my laptop or my lunch. Very nice of her. Then I heard people talking in the office, talking about how they think people like my mom are spoiling me for doing everything for me. “If my daughter forgets something, she’s gonna have to deal with the consequences, I have a job,” they say. I felt bad. My dad works day and night to feed his family. I barely see him. They spent too much money on pills and therapy for me. How is that abusive? I’m just a spoiled brat,” you explained, feeling weird. 

“No no (y/n) … You see, that is exactly why abuse is hard to figure out. It’s not always obvious,” Zenyatta explain. 

“You mentioned pills, can you tell me what kind of medications you took and what for?” Zenyatta asks. 

“Escitalopram for my anxiety,” you answered sheepishly. 

“I understand how hard it is to accept such a thing, but it’s normal for abusers to suddenly be all nice to make you forget any incidents that happened,” he added. 

“Eww I had friends like that,” you cringe, curling up into a ball. 

“Friends? You didn’t have healthy friendships?” he asks worryingly. 

“…. I was taken advantage of more than once, yes. I stopped being friends with a few people because they are …. Yeah, they are problematic in their own way,” you said, feeling weird talking about it since you have a bad habit of blaming yourself for failed relationships. You are scolded far too much by people that you can’t really tell the difference between advice or anger. You suddenly said that thought out loud to Zenyatta. 

“My friend, you are much too hard on yourself,” Zenyatta commented, sounding sympathetic. 

“Tell me what happened,” he asks.

“What do you mean? A lot of people hurt me. I remember the most recent ones because it happened a month ago, weeks ago …” you kept making yourself smaller. 

You fidget around, too scared to talk about it. 

“… There was this man. I’m an adult by then, by the way. I fell for him, but … We were nothing. We were kind of like best friends with benefits except I had no idea he had other girlfriends. I had no idea what I was doing other than I wanted love, I wanted to be distracted from this feeling of heartbreak. His jealous ex told me. She told me he would keep secrets from his partners, he had partners, I had no idea... That’s when I realize – this isn’t what I want. I don’t want to be a side chick, I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be someone’s spouse. I didn’t like it. I didn’t. I just denied my wishes because his affection is making me feel “happy”, but it’s not real happiness. I was best friends with his ex, but she starts acting suspicious after he cut me off,”

“He cut you off. Why?” Zenyatta asks softly. 

“Because I told him the truth. I told him I didn’t want that kind of relationship and that he shouldn’t hide things from people. He told me he thought he told me he had other partners. I did it not just for myself but because his ex is always crying to me about how wicked he is, how he never gives her attention and stuff. I was awfully guilty and sad because I thought I was the bad guy for doing that. I thought I was selfish for not accommodating to him.”

“Look at the bright side, dear friend – you freed yourself of something you might regret later,” Zenyatta comforted you, his face turn towards you. 

“I stay being friends with his ex but … his other friends cut me off. Then she starts acting weird, even kicking me out of her group chat. She said it’s because she is going to delete it, but I saw that she still has it on when we were on a video call. She would tell me about her personal issues, like her constant trust issues and desire to be number one. She even warned me about how she will question our friendships sometimes. The reason why she is still talking to that man is because she is too obsessed with him, the idiot. She probably believed in his lies, about how he is “going to change for the better” so they can be back together. Hey … She has a boyfriend by the way. Already. He’s a good man, but too much of a pushover to say no to her. He’s stupid for that,” 

“Oh that … Oh, that is confusing,” Zenyatta lower his head a little, but still expressing his attention towards you. 

“Remember, she said she is going to always doubt and question our friendship. Okay, I don’t take it personally. Then one day, I try to express my concerns, telling her that I’m scared and too doubtful of her. Then she got angry at me and haven’t spoken to me since. I understand why me saying that can be bad, but she can’t just sit there and think she didn’t do the same. She can forgive being cheated on repeatedly and messed around by that – that man – but I make one mistake and that’s enough to say goodbye,” you kept clenching your teeth, scowling into that dark corner of the room. 

“Oh … When did that happened?” Zenyatta asks. 

“Two weeks ago,” you said, still tightening your jaws. 

“When did the man cut you off?”

“… A few months ago. When I finished sophomore year,” you said. 

“Why do you think you are a bad person for what you did? Telling the truth is always the best option,” Zenyatta lifts his head up. 

“I always think that everything that I do is a mistake,” you shrug, still looking at that corner with a blank expression. 

“We can discuss about the medications before the consultation ends. Looks to me that your anxiety has been untreated since you didn’t got counseling since you were 16. You didn’t have a lot of close friends, yes?” he asks. 

“No, don’t feel anything towards others and I don’t feel like it,” you look to the side, seemingly unconcerned. 

“You see, loneliness is more than just a feeling. It’s something that can dramatically changed your brain composition. One of the symptoms of chronic loneliness is you will have trouble understanding people. You will grow pessimistic and start reading things wrong. You would immediately assume that people are glaring at you or annoyed when it’s all in your head. Of course, it could be part of your autism or anxiety, but the mind is a mystery. Maybe you are this way for many reasons rather than one. Have you wished for friends?” Zenyatta tilt his head a little. 

You look around with tired, sad eyes. You kept trying to breath correctly, trying to avoid the hiccups in your throat. 

“… I had a bunch of imaginary friends. Much easier to maintain. Humans, they are so unpredictable. They can say “I love you” but then stab you. Say they are happy to meet you but don’t ever check up on you. Say they care about you yesterday but today they say they hate you. My time in my imagination … Yeah … It’s me with those imaginary friends and favorite cartoon characters, going out for ice cream or visiting a museum. At least I can read their mind and they can’t lie to me, like these – like those people. That’s why it scares me to talk to people because it’s the unknown I’m scared of. I can’t tell if they are talking to me out of pity or they will immediately turn their back on me. I don’t know. If my parents can’t even love me correctly, how can I expect others to know how to love me appropriately?” you monologue, trying not to focus on the fact that you’re telling your deepest insecurities to a stranger. That stranger can use it against you, secretly tell the other dorm people what a pathetic monster you are. 

“Tell me who hurt you, my friend,” Zenyatta murmured to you. 

“Anyone that ever said they loved me,” you confessed bitterly, feeling your throat shaking and the tears going on.


	8. You and Mako

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako cares about you, just that he has the same attitude as a tsundere. Also ayy Sigma

You end up doing the weird, dramatic stuff you do. You end up laying on the floor to take a nap while Zenyatta drops tissue paper on your face. You have this habit of getting sleepy after experiencing too much emotions. You two talked a bunch but there is too much for you to discuss, like your fear of becoming just as shitty as your mother to your future children or how you’re going to end up being hurt or manipulated for the ten millionth time. Zenyatta ends up giving you some prescription of a drug you never seen before, but it’s to treat your anxiety. You heard of Lexapro, Xanax, and fluoxetine – but this prescription is weird.

“I know all this seems overwhelming, but you will pull through. I’ll try my best to help you out, my friend,” Zenyatta pat your back while you continue to snort into your tissue papers.

You stumble out the room, feeling relief wash over since not you’re off the microscope. James is lounging on the floor, checking his phone when he looks up at you. He immediately noticed your puffy red eyes and disoriented look on your face.

“(y/n)? You okay? Did that bot do something to you?” James got up to his feet, quickly coming over to hug you.

“Apparently uhh … James, I need meds. For my anxiety. Where do I go?” you mumbled out, holding out the prescription slip.

“You can go to a drug store – actually, let’s just hang out there, snacks on me,” James grin happily, holding onto your shoulder.

You two spent the evening at a drugstore nearby. You suddenly remember you need some hygiene products, so you quickly got to go pick some stuff; you got some body wash, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush, floss, a loofah, then some snacks. You suddenly stop, feeling your anxiety spike up. Is James really going to pay for all this? But he is a student! Not only a student but someone that came from a war zone. He got college debt to pay, ramen to gargle on for nutrients. You snap out suddenly when James put his hand on your shoulder.

“I got your medicine here,” James nudged the paper bag towards you. You slowly took the bag to put it in your basket.

“… How much was it?” you asked meekly.

“What do you mean?” James tilt his head a little.

“The meds. Is it like 100 dollars?” you specify.

“What?”

“… Sir, is it expensive?” you look up at him unamused.

“The medicine? No, we have healthcare,” James answered.

“… wH …. Huh ….”

“What you got there?” James pointed at your basket.

“I haven’t brushed my teeth in a week so uh … Is this too much?” you hold your shopping basket up with the stuff you got.

“Eh, it’s on me,” James pat your head, taking your basket to go to the cashier. You stood nearby awkwardly, still feeling guilty that a stranger is buying stuff for you. You two walked over back to campus, holding up plastic bags.

“… Back in my world, you can go to debt for breaking your leg. Being mentally ill takes money too, like for therapy and antidepressants. Too expensive to be alive,” you muse.

“Ugh, that doesn’t sound pleasant,” James commented.

“Nope,” you nodded.

“I feel guilty being alive because I kept wasting resources already,” you commented.

You kept walking, seeing the building creep closer to view. You noticed last minute that you are by yourself, turning around to see James standing 10 feet behind.

“… Sir?” you called to him.

“Huh...? Oh yeah, we’re almost there,” James shook his head a little, coming up quickly because of how tall he is. You kept forgetting he is a tall man because he is always slouching. You must pick up the pace of your small legs to stay near. You two finally got to the dorms, seeing that Mako is on the couch watching TV. He turns to you two coming in. You quickly got your bags and ran to the room. You brushed your teeth and flossed, seeing a bit of blood in the spit. After doing so, you quickly got to the shower to scrub the dirt off your skin.

James and Mako sat on the couch meanwhile.

“… I think it’s for the best (y/n) come over,” James commented suddenly.

“…” Mako stay looking straight to the TV.

“Their parents must have traumatized the heck out of the poor thing,” James frowned.

“…”

“… Who is Claudius?” Mako asks out of the blue.

“Huh?” James turns to Mako.

“… Nevermind, I’ll ask them,” Mako gave up, looking at the TV.

“Okay … Sorry about the way I reacted, just get overprotective of you,” James stuttered out, feeling weird apologizing.

“I can take care of myself … Thanks for apologizing,” Mako didn’t turn to look at James, but his body language shows he’s relaxed.

Mako sat on the couch, remembering what happened today.

* * *

You woke up early in the morning, stifling your whines when you stretched your whole body. You walk to the bathroom to pee, still awfully tired. After washing your hands and doing what you need to do, you slowly close the door.

You walk over but stopped dead when you look at a tall figure in the room. You couldn’t see because it’s still dark out. You start clenching your teeth and shaking your hands, balled into fists.

“Go away, Claudius -- go away, go away …” you mumbled very softly.

Mako turn a bit slowly, confused at what you said. It was a bit spooky because it took him a second to remember you’re in the room. He got up to get his clothing for the day.

“… (y/n)?” Mako grumbled out a little, not sure what’s wrong with you.

You stumbled forward, climbing back on the top bunk.

“Who is Claudius?” Mako asks, looking up at you.

“Tell me your name, I got scared,” you mumbled a little louder.

“Mako,” he obeyed, not really questioning it.

“… I’m sorry about what happened,” your mumbles got low again, barely audible.

Mako isn’t sure what you are referring to or why you are apologizing.

“… Who hurt you?” Mako asks softly.

“…. Anyone that said they loved me,” you mutter out.

It was dead quiet for a few seconds. Suddenly you felt large hands grab you from the bed, Mako grunting “get down”. You got really scared but he gently placed you on Mako’s bed. Mako slouch there, hesitant on what else to do after he did that. You quietly lay still on the bed, eyes wide open while Mako is sitting at the very edge. Mako turn a little, rummaging around for something. You heard a squeak when he caught hold on what it was he has, pulling it out to show you. It was a cute Pachimari toy. He squeezes it between his index finger and thumb to make it squeak.

… You sit up on the bed, looking up at him. Mako can’t really tell how you are feeling because the lights are off.

“… Sleep here. James never washes his bed,” Mako said, scratching the back of his head.

“Where’s James?” you ask, just noticing you can’t hear his snores.

“In the other room,” he replied.

“Oh,” you look down, blinking around. Mako gently place the plush toy on your chest. You slowly reach your hand up to hold it. You were going to say something, but you got anxious again. You’re too scared to trust anyone, let alone be honest with your emotions. Mako seem to notice you about to overthink because he quickly squeaks the toy at you. He spent time that way with you, just sitting there looking at you. That would have been creepy, but you interpreted it as him trying to be nice. He eventually must leave you alone with the plushie, dressing up and going to the living room. You followed behind him, holding the pachimari plush to your chest. Nobody woke up yet. Mako went to the kitchen to pour himself a cereal. He noticed you are there, so he got another bowl and pour you a cereal.

“You need to eat,” he commented.

You kept looking up at him but heard what he said. Mako took the two bowls, coming over to the living room to put the bowls on the coffee table. Mako immediately starts eating his cereal while you sat on the couch with him, cross legged.

“Why you always wear a mask? You’re very handsome,” you asked innocently.

Mako swallowed hard, his large eyes blinking around in confusion.

“I’m not gargling your dick,” you blinked up at him, unamused.

“Shut up,” Mako cover his face with one hand, shaking a little. You look at him, not sure what else to say. You put the plush down next to you, reaching up to start eating your cereal.

“Sorry, that sounded harsh,” he spoke softly, going back to eating his cereal. You shrugged, not really affected nor understanding what he is referring to. You two ate in silence, watching the TV.

“… I was one of the people displaced after the Omnic Crisis. I was one of the people that fought against the government to ger out home back, but then we got the apocalypse instead. Some dumbasses messed around with the omnium’s fusion core, causing an explosion. Not only did I got radiation exposure, but everything I know is destroyed. The mask was a reminder of where I came from. I’m still getting monitored to see if the radiation is still on my body,” Mako explained, trying to make the long story as short as it could be. You listened intently, glancing to the side.

“I hated people,” Mako looks down on his cereal, almost done. You nodded, relating to that statement.

“Did James get radiation?” you asks softly.

“Most of the Junkers got affected by radiation, including James. For example, …. Nagasaki, you know what that is or it’s too early?” Mako asks before drinking up the leftover cereal milk.

“Yes! World War Two!” you bounced on the sofa a little.

“Yeah. That. It’s Nagasaki 2.0 basically. That’s what I been through,” he nodded.

You understood, nodding eagerly.

“I hate people too,” you mumbled out, not sure what else to say other than “Sorry” or “my condolences”.

“Nah, you’re just scared of them,” Mako smiled a little, getting up with a grunt to put his bowl and spoon away.

“To me, it’s the same,” you stated.

“All hate comes from fear.”

… That is the most profound thing he heard from you.

Everyone else woke up and left for the day, leaving you alone since you didn’t got schedule for class yet. You spent most of the day watching TV or napping, kind of worried about the appointment with Zenyatta. You haven’t been to counsel since you were a teenager, so you must build trust with the counselor all over again.

Winston’s class is getting a visit from Dr. Siebren de Kuiper since he’s a well-known astrophysicist, relevant to whatever shenanigans they are doing.

“By looking far out into space, we are also looking far back into time, back toward the horizon of the universe,” the scientist explained happily. Most of the students that admired Siebren is listening to him with upmost intent while James didn’t care. James scribbled on his notebook to pass the time, drawing either mushrooms or stick figures. He then realizes it got quiet in the room; slowly looking up, he saw that Siebren has his head turn to the right wall. Everyone was looking at him, confused why he suddenly stopped.

“… Is something the matter, Dr. De Kuiper?” Winston asks softly, standing away to the left of the classroom.

The scientist kept standing there … Then he made a sharp turn to the students, looking frightened. Everyone looks back at him, confused and kind of worried.

“Oh, he does that sometimes – don’t worry,” Moira commented, not appearing alarmed.

“Huh – oh, as I was saying … I will be happy to assist in these experiments since it is of my field. I can stick around for more questions,” Siebren nodded happily, oblivious to his previous state. Some students look around with confusion in their face, kind of freaked out about him.

“Now, who wants stroopwaffles?” he asks cheerfully.

* * *

“What was that?? The old buzzer been freezing in place like that more than once,” James pointed out as he chews on a stroopwaffle while Mako is busy devouring his as well.

“Eh, I just think most scientists of his type are quirky,” Olivia shrugs.

They sat down for lunch, packing a box for you. They added lettuce for vegetable, much to Olivia’s amusement. The three sat together as always.

“I’m not cool with (y/n) going to see that thing for counseling, it doesn’t even have a human brain so how is that going to work out?” James grumbled about Zenyatta.

“James, take her to the appointment,” Mako suggested to James out of the blue.

“How can a robot help them out?! Did you forget what happe—”

“Take. Them. To the appointment,” Mako repeated in a serious tone.

“… They have to go on their own then,” James said under his breath.

Mako suddenly got up from the chair, glaring down at James through his mask. Olivia sat there, watching the two unfazed. Mako suddenly stomped out the cafeteria, passerby staying away from his path. Mako is walking over to the dorms to check up on you until he heard James calling after him, trying to catch up to him.

“ _huff huff_ … Mako, you were part of the rebellion, you saw what happened, you SUFFERED from what happened, why are you suddenly on that bot’s side?!” James demanded, sounding really frustrated.  
Mako sharply turn around to face James.

“You’re basically saying “fuck you” to (y/n)’s mental health, you seriously going to deny them counseling because you are scared of a stupid robot?” Mako rebuke James, pointing down at him.

“Scared?! What are you talking about?! I’m not scared of them, I _loathe_ them. And you of all people should feel that way about it,” James pointed out, getting agitated.

“Well guess what? Staying mad at them isn’t going to give my life nor yours back. In fact, those Junkers deserve what was coming to them,” Mako continue to scold.

“W h a t? Are you fucking _kidding me_?!” James growled at Mako.

“Did I stutter?” Mako asked back.

James shook with fury -- but he didn’t lunge at Mako. Instead, he turns around and stomps back to the cafeteria, fuming. Mako went on to the dorms, not caring about hurting James’s feeling. Despite his biased negative view on Omnics, Zenyatta have better understanding on mental health than most other nurses. He doesn’t even trust other doctors, specifically Moira.

Olivia is still sitting back at the table, finishing her salad when James came back. James roughly sat down, folding his arms and scowling.

“He’s always complaining at you, why suddenly it’s a huge deal?” Olivia pointed out, not really concerned with the emotional part of their friendship as she chews on a lettuce.

“Uh … Eugh, not hungry anymore,” James muttered, pushing his tray away.

Meanwhile, Mako came back to the dorms to see you sleeping on the left arm of the sofa. You got your legs up while you have his plush cuddled against your torso. He slouches down, gently poking you to wake you up. You’re too heavy asleep. He places the lunch box next to you. Mako sat on the couch, watching TV. He’s still feeling annoyed about what happened, but he tries not to care. Suddenly he saw movement in the corner of his eyes, causing him to quickly turn. He just saw you still asleep … Until he saw you twitch. He slowly reaches over to shake you a little, attempting to wake you up one last time. You couldn’t snap out of your sleep. Mako carefully grabs you, putting your torso next to his hear. Your heartbeat sounds normal, your breathing is slow … You’re probably just a heavy sleeper. He gently places you back on the couch, putting the Pachimari back on your lap. An hour later, you woke up exhausted. Eating the food Mako gave you on the couch, Mako reminded you about the appointment. The two of you was walking you towards the medical building. You hold onto his large hand, trying your best to keep up. You two are almost there when suddenly –

“WAIT FOR ME!”

You turn to see James running towards you two, breaking a sweat. He stopped running when he reached to you, breathing heavily with his head low.

“Hey, you big log – I’m taking them to that bot, fine!” James huffed out, trying to catch his breath.

“Why you suddenly changed your mind?” Mako asked unamused.

“… Felt like it. Also, you got class soon,” James pointed out.

Mako stood there unmoving for a hot minute before he lets go of your hand.

“You get them to the appointment in time, capiche?” Mako ordered, poking at James’s chest roughly.

“I’ll be on me best behavior,” James gave a toothy grin.

Mako grumbled, stomping away from you and James. James turn to you, smiling worryingly at you. He holds your hand and went on his way to see Zenyatta, much to his reluctance.


	9. Finders Giver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You suddenly got superpowers, fuq u
> 
> idk I see Sigma as this sweet science grandpa

“There is the anomaly, you see that?” Dr. De Kuiper pointed out on the monitor. The astrophysicist and other scientists are on the control panel along with Winston, observing any changes.

“Spiked up a few times, strange,” Winston nodded.

“The machine isn’t ready. The mechanics is like the Large Hadron Collider, except this is more of a marriage between space and time. It did work on that day you engaged it, but it’s not enough energy to create any drastic phenomenon,” Siebren mused.

“Then what is this anomaly about?” Winston pointed out.

“Teleporters and such can create similar spikes like that,” Satya suggested.

“Maybe … But depends on what kind of teleportation is occurring. If it’s just a domestic teleporter, it will only affect the matter rather than the space itself,” Sieben explained.

“Maybe it’s me?” Lena said, pointing at the machine on her.

“The chronal accelerator can only affect the host, but these spikes show that not only is time messed around but the gravity around it also,” Sieben explained further.

The scientist kept working, keeping an eye on the sudden changes.

* * *

You finally showered, feeling squeaky clean. You got your towel to dry yourself out, avoiding touching your feet on the ground. You grab your t-shirt and briefs to wear, putting your feet on your sandals. You slide open the door and close it behind you, still rubbing onto your hair furiously with the towel. Fixing it a little, you place the towel on the edge of the top bunk bed, going onto the kitchen to refill your bottle with water. You went back to the room, pulling up a laptop to check what’s going on only to … Wait huh.

You look at your laptop. It’s a regular laptop. You look at your towel. It doesn’t belong to James nor Mako, so how did you get it? Your laptop says your name there, so you’re sure this is yours. Just to make sure, you went to the living room with the towel.

“Whose towel is this? I don’t remember getting it,” you asked them, showing the teal blanket.

Mako shook his head no while James said he didn’t recognize it. You went back to the room, confused but decided to keep the towel. You log into your laptop using the same login you used on your old laptop, noticing that most of the stuff there is what you use on a daily. You browse through the internet, recognizing memes of the future and what become of your favorite contents. You forgot your concerns altogether, fascinated with the new memes. Most of the stuff you remember can be found online. You look up old memes, old videos, old celebrities … Your eyes grew tired as it got later, hearing people coming in and getting ready to sleep. You close your laptop, putting it into a pocket – what what the fu …

…

You pull out your laptop from nothing. Confused, you try to figure out the mechanics behind this. You think on something you want or need maybe, like … you suddenly pull out a sketchbook. You start getting a hang of it after accidentally pulling out a box of cupcakes and a baseball bat. You pull out a box of your trusty pens. You got excited, waking you up a little but at the same time – you feel relaxed. You really are dreaming, aren’t you? You got most of the stuff, careful to bring it over to Lucio’s room. You open the door, seeing Lucio too distracted by the music he’s listening to on his desktop. You put your stuff at the drawers on the bottom of the bed. Lucio suddenly start walking around, looking for something, under his bed and desks.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, sitting on the bed.

“I don’t know where my memory drive went,” Lucio responded.

You stood up, walking up to him. You stick your hand behind his head before pulling out his memory drive. Lucio stared at you as you hold it up to his face, dumfounded.

“Whoa, that is so random but thank you!” Lucio nodded happily, taking his memory drive back. You went back on your bed, not sure where to place the cupcakes you accidentally summoned. You took it and went outside to the kitchen, meaning to put it in the fridge rather than put it back in the void. You reach there and place the cupcakes there, not caring whether it’s going to be taken or not. You walk over to Mako and James on the couch.

“I’m going to sleep, good night,” you announced.

“Aight, you have a good night sleep kiddo,” James smiled towards you. You gave him a hug before going up to Mako to give him one, he lifts one arm up to pat your back. You then walk back to Lucio’s room, realizing that you don’t have any bed covers. You concentrated a little, trying not to get anxious or doubtful of yourself. You gingerly pull out bed sheets, blankets, pillowcases, and pillows. You fixed up your bed with them.

“How did you do that?!”

You flinched, looking behind you. Lucio is awestruck with what he just witnessed.

“… I honestly don’t know, just found out I can do that,” you replied honestly.

Lucio beamed up, jumping up to run towards you.

“I don’t have to spend money on drivers or movers or – or – BE MY ASSISTANT!” Lucio perked up, shaking you a little on the shoulders.

“What’s your job?” you asked, tilting your head slightly.

“You don’t know me?! No wonder you didn’t react when you saw me! I’m a musician and a DJ,” Lucio explained excitedly.

“Ohh cool,” you nodded.

“I’ll pay you, it’s cool!” he said.

“I have nothing to do so uhh, yeh sure,” you shrug, not really seeing a problem.

“You’re the best!” Lucio jumped up and down on his spot.

“I’ll start practicing how to pull out bigger stuff because – I’m worried it might stop working out of nowhere,” you yawned a little.

“That’s cool,” Lucio nodded in agreement.

“I thought you are a medical student for some reason,” you commented.

“I am! Just that I’m double majoring for a musical and a medical degree. Music therapy is my biggest aspiration right now, like learning about the healing properties of music for mental and physical health,” Lucio discuss willingly, very much happy with how put together his life is.

“Let me get your phone number, so I can let you know of any upcoming shows,” Lucio pulled his cell out.  
“Oh yeah, sure,” you pull your phone out from behind, sharing numbers. You realize at the last minute that you never had a phone with you this whole time. After doing so, you told him good night before climbing on your bed.

“You can turn off the lights, it’s cool,” Lucio assure. You got up and turn off the lights, snuggling up in bed with the plush Mako gave you.

* * *

You woke up too early in the morning. You stirred, looking at Lucio’s clock to say 3:14 AM. You carefully got up, trying not to make so much noise. You went to the living room, not sure what to – wait what the fuck. You look behind you. You don’t remember opening the door.

…

You look down to see you’re not touching the ground. You panicked a little, reaching over to touch the kitchen counter. Your feet quickly got on the cold floor. You calmed down, telling yourself that you have control over the situation. You try to give yourself some courage or at least use your imagination. You breathe got slow, your body suddenly doing a trick in the air. It was like a twirl. You slowly got back to the floor, slouching down a little before you suddenly start sprinting through the living room. You didn’t smash to any furniture --- or the wall. You ended up clipping through everything, your hands scrambling on getting you balanced when you suddenly felt the cold night air. You start falling rapidly until you snap up to the sky on the last second. Your legs dangled in the air while you float, not fearing for your life. Maybe if you try to do it like when you lucid dream …

You suddenly shot up, the wind sweeping past you. You spent most of that time flying, pretending to be the cryptic mothman or a superhero. You spent half an hour looking at the city lights, filling your heart with calm. You stay in the sky, looking down on the world like you always wanted to.

You lower down to be next to the skyscrapers. You look through the windows to see tired employees slouching over at their desks. You spotted a janitor cleaning a conference room. Feeling mischievous, you sprint towards the walls of one building. Suddenly you remembered something unpleasant – you ended up stuck in the dark, confused. You can only feel cool fabric on your skin. You stumbled out and realize you are inside a clothing store. It was dark with only a few lights on. You start running again to pass through more walls, realizing that you are in a mall. You Naruto run throughout the hallways, loving the feeling of being free and untouchable. You jump down from high places, float up to the upper glass windows, you frog swim through the air, you took a nap on the carpet floor of one spot, you dive from the fourth floor … You felt happy being by yourself. Usually you sit there worried about relationships, or lack thereof, but nope. You don’t need friends! Talking tires you out anyway!

You spin dash up to the ceiling, ghosting through it to go back outside. You float up in the sky, surrounded by city lights. You felt like resting there, just floating in the wind. You slowly drift away from the mall, going towards the deeper parts of downtown.

You saw a few abandoned buildings there, piquing your curiosity. You frog swim to one in particular; it’s a large building made of bricks and concrete, very much reminding you of closed off places back home. There were graffitis all over, some even painted with glow-in-the-dark. You floated near the floor of the top floor, levitating around to avoid getting your feet dirty. You slowly hear a voice in the distance, which is weird because it sounds awfully close by.

“Hold it together, hold it together, hold it together ….”

You clip yourself through the floor to find the source of the noise. You were trying to follow the voice but then –

_Whatever … Are you serious. Is that fucking important right now. Whatever._

Your powers got wonky, making you get stuck between the floors at some point until you calm yourself down enough to pass through completely… You almost fell face first on the dirty floor. You’re crouched near the floor, avoiding getting dirt on you.

“… I sense something, what is that?”

Your eyes widen, your big eyes peering left and right. Then you heard rumbling from down under, freaking you out enough to move out of the building immediately. You flung yourself out of the glassless window, hearing awful crackling noises and piano music…? The building suddenly crushes into itself, tumbling down into pieces. The noises are too much, it’s freaking you out – you tried your hardest not to fall into the wooden areas. You covered your ears, curling into a ball.

_Do what you want with the server. Goodbye._

You suddenly got scared when you feel the gravity pulling you. You tried to float up but those thoughts… Those memories, it’s killing you….

… Your terrified eyes peer up to see a tall figure racing toward you from the sky, swooping down to grab you. They successfully caught you in their arms. You snap your eyes shut quickly, too scared to look.

“What’s your name?” the man asked softly.

You opened your eyes slowly, blinking a little. You look up to see Siebren, except he’s levitating like you do. He gently got on the ground, barely touching the grass. You gingerly squeeze yourself out of his grip, floating away to look face-to-face. Siebren is wearing his usual suit, but you noticed how freaking tall he is – maybe taller than Mako.

“Thank you,” you nodded a little, not looking at his icy blue eyes.

“What’s your name, small one?” he asks again.

“(y/n),” you said, distracted on watching how elegant your feet and leg looks dangling in the air. Suddenly you hear … Voices. It’s not yours though, you glance at the scientist worryingly.

“It’s beautiful, the universe,” Siebren muses, staring up at the sky. You look up also, seeing those stars showing up one by one.

“The stars are like the trees in the forest, alive and breathing. And they're watching us.”

You kept peering up with your usual sad eyes, realizing how meaningless your problems are. _So why does it have to hurt so much?_

“Wait, why did that place exploded? You saw that?” you quickly move your head down, remembering what happened.

“Oh, uh … That was me,” he confessed, sounding embarrassed.

“Why?” you furrow your brows in confusion.

“It happens, I’m just trying to understand how to harness this …. Harness. I can, but it’s very hard to hold it together,” he explained.

“Huh … Uh, I’m gonna go back home because they might get worried,” you turn to where the dorms may be.

“Can I take you there? You lost control of your powers there,” he suggested.

You shrug, nodding yes to his suggestion. He flew alongside you through the dawning sky. You can see how the sky is slowly turning to pink as the sun kept rising. You yawned, squinting your drooping eyes.

“… I noticed a pattern,” you suddenly commented.

“Tell me,” he glances to you.

“Every time I doubt myself, my powers get wonky,” you pointed out.

“What did you think back there when you almost fell?” he asked.

“I was remembering sh—uh … I’m remembering unpleasant stuff that makes me question my morality,” you said honestly, frowning a little.

“Such as?”

“Am I a bad friend.”

“Interesting,” Siebren nodded, looking forward. You two eventually found the university and the dorms.

“There. It’s home now,” you pointed at the dorms.

“Okay, may you have a good morning,” Siebren nodded towards you.

You waved goodbye before sprinting through the air, going through walls and stuff to reach to Lucio’s room. Lucio is still sound asleep when you touch down. Yawning again, you climb in bed to finally be tired enough to sleep.

Siebren watched from a distance, still floating in the air.

“… I’ll see you soon.”


	10. The Mall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yall go shopping. That is all

You slept through the morning, no longer worried about getting yelled at or berated for your laziness. Lucio is sitting over at his desktop, bumping to his music. You woke up when it’s already the afternoon. You squint around, stirring slowly before stretching. Lucio didn’t turn when you made that weird high pitch sound when you stretched. After earning a few crackling sounds from your shoulder blades, you hop off the bed and walk over to the kitchen. You got some cereal that Mako gave you that other day since it tastes decent enough. Mako and James are back in their room, probably watching videos. You ate your cereal alone in the living room. 

“Greetings,”

You quickly look up to Zenyatta, who is floating on the right side of the couch. You mumbled a hello only to be too distracted on finishing your cereal. 

“Are you doing alright?” he asks softly. 

You shrug only to remember …

You put your bowl down, standing up from the couch and making room for yourself. Zenyatta’s body is always focused on your direction. You got a meter away in front of him. You jump and levitated a little bit, repeating this action until you are floating the same way he is doing; that pose he is always in with his legs crossed. 

“How wonderful!” he said cheerfully. 

You straightened your legs to stand on the ground normally – only you start running your legs near the surface floor. You scrambled a little but ends up flipping down and whAMP

“Ow.”

You rub your forehead after hitting the floor. You didn’t notice Zenyatta’s palm on your shoulder to keep you steady. 

“I just found out I can do that today,” you commented. 

“You’re okay?” he asks, still holding onto your shoulder. 

You nodded and squinted, carefully putting your feet on the floor to ground yourself. 

“What are you doing to them?” 

Zenyatta and you turn to James, who is standing in the doorway of his room with a scowl on his face. You immediately got scared and thought he was angry at you, making you freeze. Zenyatta seem to take notice. 

“They are showing me something … Oh that reminds me, have you been taking your medicine?” he looks at me. You suddenly remember about the medicine. You completely forgot about it. You shook your head no. 

“Oh dear, you can start on them today,” he assures. You took that as a reason to leave, so you got your empty bowl to place them in the sink and leave quickly to your room. Pulling it from the abyss, you got your medication. It was a tiny yellow ball, only two millimeters big. You quickly swallow it whole, grabbing a water bottle to wash it down. Meanwhile, James walks over to Zenyatta. He towers over him menacingly. 

“Yes?” Zenyatta looks up at his unfriendly expression, not intimidated in the slightest. 

“What are you doing to them,” he repeats himself, sounding annoyed. 

“I’m checking on them as any friend would, Jamison,” Zenyatta asks with no problem. 

A large hand lands on James’s slim shoulders, prompting him to turn to Mako. Mako stand there silently until James relented, leaving Zenyatta alone to check on you. You were looking up more stuff on your laptop, lowkey trying to distract yourself from feeling anxious. James opens the door, walking up to you to pat your head. You didn’t turn to look at him. 

“That bot didn’t do anything to you?” he asks softly. 

“No, I was showing him this thing I learn to do but …” you responded. You quickly put your laptop down and got to your feet. James made room for you … You walk over to a window, opening it. Lucio noticed some movement, making him turn to what you are doing. 

“Oh, you’re awake!” he beamed. You mumbled out a hello to him, still figuring out how to open a window. 

“You’re a heavy sleeper—wait What—”

“(y/n)!!” 

You sprint and jump out of the window, scaring the hell out of Lucio and James. They scrambled their way over and look out the window. Then they saw you swimming through the air. You smile at them, laughing at their bewilderment. Your swing your legs around to reach to the window. James stick his arms out to pull you back in. He turns and let you go, you still floating in the air. 

“I found out about it yesterday,” you said. 

James and Lucio look at you with stars in their eyes, very much blown away by your stunt. You turn around to see Mako in the doorway. He has his usual mask on so you can’t see how he is reacting. He then sticks his strong arm out to place his large hand on your fluffy hair, pushing you back down on the floor. 

“Grounded,” he commented with a hint of a smile. He gave you head pats after putting you down, earning happy squeaks from you. 

You suddenly feel happy, wanting to jump and dance. You back away a little, making a cartoonish pose of you about to run. Mako stick his arms out to try catching you, but everyone got shook when you went through him. You ran through different walls and halls, only returning when you can feel yourself getting exhausted. Mako, Lucio, and James got into the living room to look for you. You came back, jumping around excitedly. 

“I feel happy!” you declared, dancing around to express your emotion. Zenyatta clapped to you while everyone joins in with your joy, happy to see you smiling genuinely. At that moment, you forgot your worries and such. Your powers have never been this cooperative. 

“Oh yeah! Who wants to go to the mall with me?” James announced. You realize that you don’t have a lot of clothing on your own, so it would be cool to check stuff out so you can fit in well with others. They let you take a shower because you been feeling gross at yourself. Zenyatta stay back because he needs to do important stuff, but Lucio and Olivia came along. James invited Olivia over and she’s happy to come along, wanting to get to know you more also. You got the most normal clothing you can find from your void, space ... thingy. You pull out your favorite shirt and jeans along with other stuck you put under your clothing. 

They decided to walk over to the mall since it’s not that far and the architecture is very accommodating to pedestrians. You remember how garbage the roads and sidewalks are in Houston. It’s better downtown but the rest of the city is bad – too many holes and cracks all over. You try to keep up with these people, feeling kind of left out from their small conversations. Mako stay quiet while Lucio, James, and Olivia talked to one another. You start to float because you got too lazy to walk around. You caught up with Mako, who is in the front. You hold onto his huge arms so he can tag you along. He doesn’t seem to mind, not turning to look at you. You don’t feel like talking to anyone, so you silently hold onto his arm. The group stopped at a crossing until it’s their turn to walk over. 

“Whoa you actually can float,” Olivia pointed out. 

You got your feet close to the concrete, nodding. Your hands slid into Mako’s large hand. You can feel how calloused and warm it is compared to your cold palm. After a mile, they walk over the wooden areas of the city. You noticed the big pile of ruble nearby, barely seen above the trees. The group walked over to a few police cars parked in the area, debris and large chunks of concrete and brick piled onto one another. 

“Wow look at this!” James pointed out to everyone. Everyone followed suit on noticing the pandemonium.

“Whoa, that building was still standing here last time I went DJing,” Lucio look on with wonder. 

“My hat's off to the architect of this fantastic destruction!” James beamed.

“It was that tall man that I talked to yesterday,” you admitted. 

“Everyone is tall to you, you little ankle-biter,” James pointed out amusingly. 

“No like … He’s taller than Mako,” you put your hand up to illustrate. 

“Oh that’s … Yeah the only other guy I know that’s taller is coach Reinhardt,” Lucio said thoughtfully. 

“Wait – how do you talk to him?” James asks with a brow raised. Everyone else noticed you. 

“I was practicing my flying because I can’t sleep, so I came all the way over here. He helped me come back to the dorms,” you explained. 

“Stranger danger, kiddo,” Lucio snickered. 

“He saved me though, I was going to fall into the woods before he caught me on time,” you blushed, worried about being scolded at. 

“Oh, that’s nice of him,” James suddenly stood up straight. 

They continue to walk over to the mall, barely speaking about it. 

“Hey …” Mako spoke. 

You look up at his mask. 

“Let someone know when you go out on your own,” he instructed. 

“… What are you, my mother?” you giggled nervously, not bothering to look at him. His hands tighten around your small ones, pulling you up near his mask. He let go of you in the air, only to place his hand on your head, pushing you back on your feet. 

“You’re grounded,” he stated before he lets out a huge laugh. You smiled, shaking your head around before fixing your hair. 

“What kind of shoes are you wearing anyway?” Olivia asks. 

You suddenly got war flashbacks of when kids made fun of you for wearing Skechers or other unpopular brands of shoes. 

“… Medieval shoes? I don’t know, it’s from 2016,” you shrug a little, still walking near Mako. 

“Why you ask knowing good and well you got them toe-shoes right there, what are those shoes!” Lucio pointed at Olivia’s feet while snickering. 

“Last time I checked, heelies are so 2005,” Olivia rolled her eyes in amusement. 

“Don’t look at me, I only got one foot,” James pouted, flicking his eyes at his combat shoes quickly. 

“Huh,” you look at James’s feet. He looks normal to you, wh …

“Oh, you didn’t know?” James look up at you. 

James stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to pull the sleeve of his right leg up. You stop also to see what he is referring to. That’s when you realize he has a prosthetic leg. 

“Used to have a stump, like a pirate. But good ol’ Angela made me a new leg,” James explained, pulling his sleeve down. You only noticed his right hand looking off

“Do you get phantom limb?” you asked, the group starting to walk again.

“Of course! Not as often though,” he replied. 

They eventually made it to the mall, now buzzling with people since it’s the weekend. You tighten your grip against Mako’s arm. You randomly feel safe near him. Olivia and Lucio went to an electronic store while you tag along with Mako and James. They end up going to a few stores mainly for guys. You felt relieved with them, like you’re not really worried about any judgement as of now. You went along and picked a few outfits, fitting with your androgynous image. First you wore a business suit, loving how professional you look. You then wore a casual wear that makes you look like a pretty human. You wore a mix of different clothes, only caring about what you think. You managed to find decent clothing. You came out the changing station to see James and Mako in matching t-shirts, probably James’s idea. You suddenly felt your insides scream because the c h u b. Chubby bean. Cute chubby bean. You shook your head and went back to change back into your clothes. You got what you want and went through the line. You hand the cashier your credit card and got your stuff. 

… Wait I didn’t have money nor a credit card, huh?

You just shrug it off and got back to Mako and James. The group stop at a claw machine, trying to grab hold on a pachimari plush. Mako grumbled since he got most of his change while James must be pulled from the machine by both you and Mako. He was threatening to destroy it after he tried to get it for Mako. 

Lucio got a bunch of new equipment for his job while Sombra got more hard drives and such. They all got some food at the food court, getting what they preferred. You didn’t know what to get, so you just got fries. You came back with coke and fries, not really minding the food. You ate your fries while others talk to one another. Again, you felt left out … You don’t know what to talk about nor do you know when it is a good time to butt in. Then you realize Mako isn’t really joining in either. That … Made you feel much better. You sat quietly with Mako, finishing your fries. When you’re done, you looked around to wait for them to finish their food. Out of the blue, Mako place a dumpling on your empty paperboard tray. You look up at him, kind of seeing a sign on whether he’s purposefully putting it there. He looks down on you with his dark eyes. 

“You really need to eat more,” Mako suggested. 

You look back down on your dumpling, slowly sticking it on your fork – and quickly put it in your mouth. You like it. You don’t know the meat of it, but you chew it and it tastes pretty good. He kept putting bits and pieces of his food, like his chow Mein or meat. He got a lot of stuff since he’s a big guy, he needs the extra energy. The weird giving of food by him is distracting you from feeling sad. You kept eating until he doesn’t have much to share. You didn’t know what to do to repay him until … You got your hand behind your pack before pulling out a D.va inspired pachimari plush, the one they were trying to get from the claw machine. You push it against his chest, making is squeak. 

“… How did you get it?” Mako asks, his tone surprisingly gentle. 

You shrug, not wanting to explain. He slowly holds the pachimari against his chest, making the tiniest smile. You quickly got ahold of his hand when the group got up to finally leave the mall and to the dorms. James got closer to both you and Mako this time, talking about what he got while Lucio and Olivia are kind of behind. 

“Se miran como novios,” Olivia smiled mischievously, peering at how close you are to Mako. 

“Eu falo português,” Lucio replied in amusement. 

“Ya se,” Sombra reply back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why this getting a bunch of hits who the fu
> 
> TRANSLATIONS -
> 
> Sombra - "They look like a couple"
> 
> Lucio - "I speak Portuguese"
> 
> Sombra - "I know"


	11. Stars and Super Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet D.va while also meeting the tall man again. Emotional ending tho and my eyes hurt

Everyone went back to the dorms. Olivia gave you a file of your class schedule and other necessities for when you start going to university. You went through it in your laptop for the rest of the evening. You look to your blankets and saw the plush Mako gave you … Should you give it back?

You got up and took the plush, walking over to Mako sitting on the sofa at the living room. He’s eating the cupcakes you accidentally pulled from the void.

“You left it,” you said flatly, holding the plush up. Mako turns to you, blinking slowly and not showing much expression. Then he slowly sticks his hand out to grab the plush … Only to push it up against the side of your head.

“Same,” he mumbled.

“Hm?” you tilt your head a little.

“You look like that,” he specifies.

Your eyes peer up at the cute face of the Pachimari plush.

“You want it back?” you said, not really processing what he said.

“No, keep it,” Mako said, placing the plush on your chest and looking back at the TV.

You hold the plush against yourself, so you just said your thanks and went back to your room to draw more. You sat only to hear a crunch … what. You got up and feel through your blankets. You pull out a white paper pouch. You look in it to see a crushed-up wafer disk. You furrow your brows at it, not knowing what it is or where it’s from. You place it in the void, not sure on what to do with it. You went to drawing whatever you want or writing down what you have in mind, listening to your favorite music.

* * *

You couldn’t sleep again. It was quiet except for Lucio’s quiet snooze. The clock said 2:11 AM. You got up and sprint through the window, flying back to the city. You spent most of that time looking at the city lights from above, calming you down.

At some point, you noticed someone – WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT EVANGELION TYPE SH—

You quickly swoop out the way, a giant pink mecha coming through. You spin in the air until you stopped slightly, looking to see what that was. It went on towards north, boosting away to somewhere. Suddenly it turns around to go through you again. You groan in annoyance, hopping to quickly drop yourself lower near the ground – only to see it following you! You suddenly brace yourself when the mecha went through you. You were confused until you realize – oh yeah, you can go through walls and stuff. You twirl around to see the pink mecha going towards the ground but flying up in time. You quickly drop towards the ground, around populated areas so you don’t end up alone. You quickly appeared on the sidewalk in downtown, not letting your bare feet touch the ground. You stay being invisible, unless you weren’t putting it down as you think, to go swooping towards the street.

You end up at an empty park. You slowly walk over to a bench, gently sitting down. You sat there for a long time, loving how you are by yourself. You hear the crickets and the sound of passing cars. It’s kind of windy. You heard it pick up the pace a few times. Then you opened your eyes up to see the freaking mecha flying right by. A minute later and you hear a large noise, like something landing. You turn around, not sure whether to check who is it that’s following you.

“… Evangelion!” you suddenly yell out.

…

“Evangelion, come out!” you yell out once more from the bench.

“… EVANGELION!!—”

A girl suddenly rushes up to a hill, breathing heavily. She was wearing a body suit and have long brown hair with large headset. You sat there, not sure what to do. You decided to let go of your powers, feeling your weight coming back.

“H- … Hi! You okay?” she said, smiling innocently.

“Yes? Just woke up early … Were you chasing after something?” you asked, looking up at her. She walks over to you, only you to notice she have this weird looking thing in her hand—is that a gun.

“Yeah! Wait – how you know?”

“… Oh you’re evangelion!” you exclaimed, standing up from the bench by floating up.

“Why were you screaming that? What’s evangelion? Wait you didn’t answer my question...” the girl got increasingly confused.

“I’m FLOATING! You chased after me! You scared me, woman!” you pouted, floating a few feet above the ground.

“Oooh, sorry,” she said, putting her gun away.

“Are you the police or something?” I asked calmly.

“Kind of …? Wait you can’t recognize me?” she asks.

“No? Why you chased after me?” you squinted at her.

“I thought you were the Gwishin,” she replied.

“huh?”

“The Gwishin! Those omnic bots that has been attacking people,” she explained.

You nodded, pretending you understood what she meant.

“My name is Hana, nice to meet you,” Hana nodded happily.

“(y/n). I’m not kishin or whatever you said—".

“Gwishin,”

“Oh okay, what are they anyway?”

“Omnics,”

“… Like Zenyatta – wait, you don’t know him...”

“Oh, I know him! He helps me calm down when stressed out,” Hana pointed out.

“…. You go to that university?”

“The Overwatch university of Washington? Yeah!”

“Oh … Uhh I’m a student too!”

“I didn’t saw you around before,” Hana squints at you.

“I’m freshman.”

“Ooh no wonder, I’m sure you’ll love the campu—Oh! Got to go, it’s a hard job for me anyway. Have a good night!” Hana said cheerfully before pressing a button on her glove, her mecha suddenly slamming into the grass in front of her before she jumps in. You stay away as she boosted away into the sky.

What a small world.

You flew away as well, now that you don’t have to worry about getting chased for no reason … Until you suddenly felt like someone is near you. You had this feeling in your gut. You quickly got up higher so whatever person on the ground might not find you.

“(y/n)?”

You quickly turn to see – oh it’s the tall man again.

“Oh hey, tall man,” you look towards his torso. The man laughed with the nickname you gave him.

“Hallo! You got the stroopwaffle I left for you?” he asks, glancing down at you kindly. He’s wearing a dark tank top and some sweatpants, but he’s barefoot.

“What is it?”

“You don’t know? It’s a yummy wafer, it’s from my country,” he explained, forming a circle with his hands.

You blinked until … You pull something from thin air to get the crushed-up bag of wafer back in your hand.

“This?” you hold it up to it.

“Yes, that … Although it appears to be in poor condition,” he squinted a little.

“I sat on it by accident,” you said, looking in the content of the bag.

“Mmmm … You remember me, yes?” he pointed at himself.

“Yes. The tall man that can fly too,” you nodded in agreement.

“I didn’t introduce myself?”

“Don’t remember.”

“Oh, where are my manners, ahem … I’m Siebren, but I’m refer to as Dr. De Kuiper,” he does an elegant bow towards you.

“Nice to meet you, doc,” you hop on the air, feeling the usual jitters.

“… Your melancholic gaze is always away from me,” he pointed out.

“Oh, I’m like that with everyone. I don’t like looking at people because it’s considered a threat in nature,” you explained.

“True,” he shrugs in agreement.

“… You don’t know?” you look up at him, trying your best to look at his bluish-gray eyes.

“I don’t know specifically…?”

“I’m high-functioning,” you pointed at yourself.

“Ahh,” he nodded as an understanding.

“I’m just weird, it’s okay,” you stare at your feet, floating in the air and looking down.

“You have nothing to be ashamed about, you’re more than just your genetics,” he assures.

You nodded, humming in agreement.

Siebren dig through his pocket, pulling out a treat wrapped in a white paper bag.

“Want another stroopwaffle? They are home-made,” he presented it to you.

“Thank you, sir,” you accept the gift.

You two just hang out in the air until you two decided to lay on the grass below. You just listen to him talk about how amazing the universe it, calming you down since you been feeling anxious.

“By looking far out into space, we are also looking far back into time, back toward the horizon of the universe,” he muses.

“Why do you want to spend time with me?” you asked out of the blue.

He looks up, wondering how to answer that question.

“You remind me of myself, except you don’t seem at all alarmed by what you witnessed on the other side. You don’t feel your sanity slipping?” he peers at you.

“Thing is I already been feeling that way. I feel like I have no control over anything, not even my emotions,” you explained.

“Is that so?”

“Yes sir. Not only do I inherently have communication problems, I am also terrified of others. The thought of having to talk or even have an interview terrifies me. Confrontations will happen, miscommunication, judgment, mob mentality … It’s all scary to me. I rather die that go through with it,” you explained honestly.

“Talking is scarier than death itself?”

“Yes. The dead no longer cares about the judgement of the living.”

He nodded slowly, glancing at your blank stare with his gray-blue eyes.

“We both witnessed something and inherited great powers from doing so, except I did it willingly,” he turns back to looking at the stars.

“You know what happened?” You look at his calm expression.  
“I have an idea of what happened, but you tell me,” he blinked slowly.

“… I’m an accidental time-traveler. I’m from the year 2018 and welp,” you got too lazy to explain.

“Mmhm… I recognize your face from television. I was alive when you disappeared,” he admitted.

“Really?” your full body turn to the side.

“I was a little boy, but it was a huge mystery on how you end up disappearing. They talked about it for years, looked for you for years, to no avail,” he muses.

“I’m okay, I’m not taken by human traffickers or anything,” you assured.

“… Or dead,” he added.

“Did they … Did they talk about my mental health?” you asked.

“They did put a lot of emphasis on the fact you’re autistic and have a diagnosis of GED,” he said.

You look up in the sky, not faze by those things at all.

“Do you miss your parents?” he asks.

“… Don’t know,” you said.

“What a strange reaction. Why so?”

“They weren’t the best parents. I’m still processing the fact that they been emotionally abusive…? Sounds weird admitting it. They are nice people, just really stupid,” you explained, not sure how to feel now.

“They were?”

“I’m always scared that people are angry at me all the time because mom and the teachers are always yelling at me about something, so I got terrified,” you felt your tears coming in.

“Horrible,” he commented.

“I don’t feel like a victim, I feel bad having to accept that because they really did spoil me,” you blinked around, trying not to tear up.

“People always don’t know when they are doing something wrong, but they should always recognize their mistakes and correct it somehow,” he commented further.

“Did they ever recognize it?”

“… I don’t know,” you hesitantly replied.

“You’re their offspring, of course you would be reluctant to the thought of your own parents capable of being bad people,” he articulated.

“Like dad with grandpa …” you faded a bit.

“… Sometimes I forget I suffered. Always thinking that maybe it could be worse,” you illustrated, trying to find the right words.

“Doesn’t mean it’s better, it still affected you negatively,” he pointed out.

You turn your back on him, going in a fetal position.

“You can go back home if you want, you want me to take you back?” he suggested.

You slowly float up to follow him. He took your hand on his own, flying towards the dorms. After arriving at it, he let your hand go. You waved goodbye at him, going through the window to Lucio’s room. You slowly got through the bathroom door to clean up and stuff. You sniffed away the tears stuck in your nose insides. After washing your hands, you flinched when the other door suddenly slides open. It was Mako. He looks down at you with tired but unamused expression. You squint at him.

“… You went out, didn’t you?” he mumbled.

You got awfully scared, but you’re too honest to lie.

“Yes. Couldn’t sleep,” you replied blankly, but you appear really intimidated.

“You didn’t let anyone know,” he said.

“Everyone is asleep, I can’t wake them up,” you muttered.

He got closer to you only to scoop you up – and placing you in his room. He closed the bathroom door before he picks you up again, putting you on his bed. You were getting a bit worried until he puts the plush you gave him on your lap. You suddenly start to cry, not knowing how to react.

“Wh … Why are you crying?” Mako asks worryingly.

“Why are you people nice to me? You want me to do something?” you asked quietly, trying not to choke on your words.

“Be happy,” he replied, coming over to pat your head slowly.

You kept crying, holding the plush on your lap.

“I’m scared,” you whined out a little.

“Of what?” Mako asks softly.

“I’ll jinx it. I’ll ruin everything,” you whimpered, burying your face on your knees and arms only to start bawling. Mako kept patting your head.

“People are going to hurt me, and it’s because I’m stupid enough to trust them,” you whined out softly, getting even scared that Mako might take it personal like that … Like that other girl. Instead, Mako hold you close to his side. He rubs your back softly.

“Why don’t you hate me? Why aren’t you getting angry at me?”

“Because you didn’t do anything wrong,” he replied.

“… Really want to kill whoever made you like this.”

You kept whimpering and shaking, still so terrified of p e o p le.

People will regret ever speaking to you or giving you a chance. They are lying. They will betray you. They will hurt you. And if they don’t hurt you, you will hu r t t h e m---

Mako picks you up a little in his arms to take you to the living room, placing you on the couch while he sat there. He got the TV volume low as possible. He pulls your close to his right side again, rubbing circles on your back.

“Why do you like me?” you asked suddenly.

He shrugs, not really knowing what to tell you… Or is too shy to explain.

You watched the TV silently until at some point you open your eyes. You feel around a bit only to realize you slept on top of Mako’s belly. It was probably around 7 in the morning. You sat on the couch … Only to remember the medicine. You immediately got up and took the medicine, washing it down with water. You got the blanket from your bed and place it on Mako. You then went ahead and be the first person to shower for the day. At least the water will drown out the demons.


	12. Catching Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako takes you and James for breakfast
> 
> FYI there's jacking off in this chapter so just letting yall know

James woke up with no problem, not being awaken by your sobs. He went in the restroom mindlessly to pee. You didn’t check to see who came in since you’re too busy scrubbing yourself down. You suddenly stop worrying physically, but it’s still in the back of your mind. It’s weird.

“Damn how hot is the water?? I can barely see,” James exclaimed before flushing the toilet. He got out of the restroom before you can say anything. You didn’t feel like it. You kept staying under the hot water until you got everything done.

After drying and getting dressed, you got back in the living room to Mako. He just woke up, squinting around on the sofa. You were on your way to the kitchen until Mako quickly perk up to call you over. You come over to Mako, not sure what he wants.

“You want to eat breakfast somewhere else?” he asks.

You quickly nodded.

“You’re feeling better?” Mako asks, a hint of worry in his voice.

“I feel neutral,” you responded.

He hummed in response. He got up to get dressed and to also let James know what they are going to do.

Mako, James, and you went to a nearby parking lot. Sitting there is Mako’s motorcycle with a side for James to sit on. He quickly hops on it while Mako sat on the motorcycle. You jump a few times to start levitating.

“I think you can fit in here with me,” James stood up a little.

“I’m too thick,” you said flatly.

“Nah, you’re just curvy!” he corrected you.

Mako got up from his seat to get near you. He picks you up with ease, placing you in front of him on the bike. You quickly covered you ears when the bike turned on, too loud for you to handle. Mako pat your head, calming you down a little to hold on. They went ahead and got on the road, speeding through cars and watching the university get smaller. You closed your eyes out of fear because the sounds are too loud, and this is your first time in a bike ride. Mako kept you in place with his elbows so you don’t slide out from the side. You can feel his tummy vibrating on your back. Then suddenly –

You faze through Mako and end up being flung out behind them. James noticed you were gone and panicked, Mako too focused on the road to notice.

“Wh – (y/n)?! Oh NO!!” James look behind him and around desperately.

All he saw is a bunch of cars behind him … Then you emerge into the sky before you start scrambling towards them. James waved his arms wildly, getting Mako’s attention. He just sees you running in thin air before you start swimming. James got scared that you might fall again or something – but then you speed up towards them, grabbing hold of James’s cart. He quickly got up and scoop you up into his arms, letting you sit in front of him.

“YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH YOU MANIAC!!” James exclaimed worryingly, holding you tightly.

You didn’t hear anything. Everything is too loud. You kept covering your ears, so you don’t get agitated. They eventually got to a diner a few miles away. After parking, Mako quickly noticed you’re not on his tummy. He looks around in panic until he quickly calms down, seeing James holding onto you.

“I told you you’re not that big, stop that,” he grins happily. Mako quickly pick you up and hold onto you, cradling you in his arms before putting you back on the floor. James hops off and follow along, going to the diner.

“James … I’m not really ashamed about it. Too many people compliment me over it,” you told James after you three got a booth.

“Oh good!” James nodded in agreement, Mako busy reading through the menu.

“But I want people to like me for me rather than focus too much on that though,” you explained softly.

“I’m sure they do! You’re funny and interesting,” James smiled kindly.

“I’m the funny friend, yes,” you look down on your menu.

“So why doubt yourself? I like you, Mako likes you, Olivia likes you,” James counted how many people likes you. You were going to say something negative until a waitress comes along.

“Good morning! What you want to order—oh .. it’s you,” she suddenly changed her behavior when she saw James.

“Oh, hey Mei!” James greeted eagerly.

“Who is this?” Mei looks towards you.

“(y/n), our new roommate! They are really cool,” James introduce you while you stare at the menu to ignore the attention.

“Oh, hiya!” Mei waved at you. Her kindness got you to calm down and greet her back.

“What you want to drink?” she got her pen and notebook ready.

“Coffee,” you quickly replied.

“I want a cuppa, to settle my nerves” James place his cheek on his hand.

“Orange juice,” Mako said next.

“Alright, and oh! Just to let you know, he’s a no-good bully,” Mei whispered to you. You smiled while James start saying “Hey! You’re the cold one around here!”

Mei quickly left to get your group drinks.

“What’s a cuppa?” you asked.

“Tea,” James replied.

You look into the menu only to remember …

“Oh, this restaurant – it’s been here since my time,” you pointed out.

“Whoa really?” James blinked in interest.

“Yeah … I’ll get the pancake combo, but the pancakes are pretty big the last time I ate there,” you furrow your brows a little. It’s a yummy pancake with bananas and caramel with some kind of cream. You’re happy that it’s still existing.

Mei came back to take your orders, James only getting pancakes while Mako got a bunch of stuff. Again, he needs the energy.

“How did you know her?” you refer to Mei.

“Hmm? Oh, she’s my classmate but she finds me annoying,” James snickered before drinking his tea.

“I’m not surprised,” Mako commented lowly.

“Mako please” James grimaced amusingly.

“I really hope you’re not being mean just to win her heart, because uhh that doesn’t work,” you advised, playing around with a packet of sugar.

Mako snickered under his mask, James pouting.

“What you mean? I don’t know what you’re talking about!” James frowned, slightly blushing.

“Just worried because nobody took it seriously when I was getting bullied,” you faltered a little at the end. You feel awkward about admitting that part of your childhood.

Mako looks up quickly while James’s frown softens.

“O-Oh … No no I’m not insulting her – I’m just annoying like Mako said,” James laugh a little.

You were going to apologize for killing the mood until Mei came back with the food.

“Pancakes for you, pancake combos for you, and the rest for you,” Mei place the plates on the table.

“Mei, have I ever called you ugly or say anything mean?” James asked Mei, looking up at her with an innocent look on his face.

“Yes,” Mei replied flatly.

“What? When?!” James furrow his brows in confusion.

“You insult me with your presence … Enjoy!” Mei leaves your group alone with an innocent smile.

“Wha—augh (y/n) the thing is I’m just really misunderstood,” James got to eat his pancakes quickly.

“You love her, but you are too scared,” you commented. Mako snickered some more with James blushing even redder.

“Shut up! Eat your breakfast!” James shook his head in embarrassment, cutting through his strawberry pancakes. Mako starts to laugh for real, making you happy. You went ahead and start eating your eggs, hash browns, and sausages. You munched quickly through it, loving how the taste didn’t really change. Mako pokes you on your forehead, prompting you to look up.

“Slow down,” he commented.

You shrug before continuing to eat. You start on your pancakes, loving how sweet and yummy it is. After you all ate, Mako pay the bill and tipped Mei.

“You all have a good morning! And (y/n), be careful with that stinky boy,” she pointed out in amusement.

“Ya are trying to get on my nerves!” James pouted more, earning laughter from other people until you suddenly get second-hand embarrassment. The group come back with no problem, Mako quickly going for a shower.

… He’s glad you didn’t notice anything, especially with how observant you are. Long story short, he got a boner at some point in the trip. He already must deal with occasional morning wood, but the worst part is he have an idea on why it happened.

Meanwhile, you apologize to James since you thought you hurt his feelings.

“Ahh whatever, it’s not a huge deal – but yeah I would never hurt a fly,” James shrug, trying to convince you with a smile. You quickly ran to your bed to use your laptop, maybe watch some videos. Lucio woke up already, again still glued on his desktop. You can hear the shower water going. James went in his room to watch some videos while Mako showered.

* * *

He doesn’t remember the last time he tries to do this. He remembers how crazy his libido when he was under 30, which is normal for young guys. It got better with time, but occasional stuff usually comes around. He never really has privacy except in the bathroom. These other guys are younger than him and probably trying to hold in their nuts like a no-nut November challenge given how they never really have privacy. Whatever. He breathes heavily as he strokes himself, wanting to get it over with so he doesn’t have to worry about it later. He tries to imagine something, something …

He suddenly shudders, moaning out your name as he finishes… He slowly realizes what he done. He looks at the mess as he quickly calms down, processing what he thought.

_“I’m thick,”_

_“Nah you’re just curvy!”_

What have happened was … He felt your soft butt against him, the vibration of his bike not helping with the feeling. Curvy is an understatement; you are incredibly soft and warm, most of the fat being in the right places. It probably feels good hugging you, and he finds you awfully adorable. You’re small and soft, making his heart throb … at least most of his time it was his heart. He tries to ignore it but nope, his dingaling has to come out the cut and make things difficult for him.

That’s when he must come to the truth that he caught feels. He doesn’t remember ever liking anyone like that. There are pretty people around, yeah, but none of them really made him feel that way. Even your presence it’s healing. He was scared that he only looks at you as an object, making him feel even more ashamed. He got disgusted, cleaning himself up and continuing to shower. You’re a person, not some sex doll. He got out of the shower, drying his hair and body with his towel. James is still watching videos, quiet this time. He got his boxers and shirt on, coming over to lay down on his couch. He sighs, making James look up for a second before returning his gaze on the TV.

“Mako,”

Mako looks up quickly, seeing you standing on his side of the sofa.

“Thank you for taking us out for breakfast,” you try to hold eye-contact, smiling a little.

“No problem,” Mako replied, although a bit softly.

“And about last night too!” you nodded happily before running back to your room. James choke on his water bottle when he heard that, starting a coughing fit while Mako’s face got awfully red.

“WhAT?! (y/n)! wha—what about last night?!” James blurted out, still recovering.

“Idiot. They went out flying again and I have to help them sleep, they were very distraught,” Mako explained himself, scowling his blush away.

“What? So you two didn’t—”

“NO!”

“Then again – they’re too small, you will break the poor thing,” James grimace before he gets a smack from Mako.

“Shut UP!” Mako growled in embarrassment.

You quickly ran to your room from being shy. You got in bed and snuggled there, watching internet videos. You look to your schedule to see if your first day is tomorrow Monday. You got a few classes of different kinds, most of it sounding too complicated for you to understand. You can disappear at any time. You close your laptop, worrying about it a little because you came along awfully late. You asked Lucio a bunch of questions about which building is which and where to go. You ended up napping in the middle of the day. You realize that you can no longer go to church since your parents aren’t going to pressure you over it. You have some faith in certain things, but you don’t see the point of going to church only to hear a priest be homophobic or disregarding women’s health. You napped throughout the day.

“No screw you! Yall made fun of me about wanting to go out with Mei, now it’s my turn!” James giggled mischievously, albeit a bit menacingly, as he towers over Mako. He just sat on the couch unamused with his hijinks.

“Do you like (y/n)?!” James asked demandingly. Mako grumbled.

“And don’t you start saying mean things about them because it’s my friend you’re talking about,” James frowned at Mako.

“… Yeah, what about it?” Mako admitted.

“I’m not telling them, Mako. You and I have a bond, so I’m not going to sabotage that,” James assure.

“I don’t think this person will like me back, especially because they already have this distrust towards other people,” Mako muttered pessimistically. He was going to say you would not like him because he is some older fat guy with the voice of a demon, but that would make James angry.

“But they seem to trust you more, you two are always together,” James gave a melancholic smile, trying to comfort his friend.

“But –”

“Mako, I know you have a tender heart inside that big log of a body of yours; did you forget the many times you yelled at me because of how overprotective of them you got?!” James pointed out.

“You’re not even like that with me!”

James’s explanation made Mako feel better because he realizes that yeah … He actually loves you as appropriately as he must. He accepts your flaws, your issues, your pain … But he’s not sure if you feel the same towards him. He don’t care … So long as you’re happy and safe, he’s okay.

You deserve better.


	13. I serve but I'm not a servant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first class and first day in university ayyy

You went to sleep way too early, like at around 7 or 8 in the evening. You end up waking up at 5 in the morning, which you really don’t mind. You got up anyway and got busy with packing your stuff and checking your schedule in case you get lost on your way to a classroom. 

You got in the kitchen and decided to make your own coffee. You pulled out the ingredients from thin air, like caramel sauce and instant expresso. You then thought of something cleverer … You look through your memories, reaching your hand out to grab a – a cinnamon roll latte! It was a yummy coffee drink you really liked from your old university’s coffee shop. You put the stuff back in your void, not needing them anymore. You left the coffee there to cool down, coming over to your room to get dressed. Lucio is still asleep when you came over. 

You got dressed and took your medication meanwhile, waiting for the others to wake up. You ran over to the kitchen to get your coffee, smelling how yummy and sweet it is. You ghosted through the wall so you can get some fresh air, watching how the day grew lighter as the sun rises. You float on the air while drinking your coffee. The next class starts at 9:30 AM, so you have plenty of time. You just hear coos and chirping of birds nearby. 

“Whoa hey!”

You turn to see a girl with a ponytail and freckles, looking up at you. She smiled kindly towards you. Her window is on the floor higher than the floor your dorm is. 

“Good morning!” you said cheerfully, turning a little to give her a wave. 

“You doing alright?” she asks, fixing the curtains of her open window. 

“Yeah, it’s pretty outside,” you nodded towards her. 

You heard a small voice with the girl. The girl turns around to talk to her roommate, only that you slowly recognize who that person is. 

“Oh hiya!” Mei waved towards you. 

“Oh, I remember you!” you smiled, floating towards the window while holding your coffee with both hands. Soon a bunch of other girls bunched up to look at you. You recognize more of them, like the nurse and the evangelion girl. 

“Hey! It’s you! Sorry about last time though!” Hana waved towards you. You nodded while smiling, trying to let her know that is all good. 

“The cavalry’s all here!” a British girl called out. 

You got overwhelmed with how many people are there, making you freeze a little in place. 

“My name is Brigitte, by the way! Here’s Mei, Hana, Lena, Angela and uhh wait where’s Fareeha?” Brigitte looks inside to look for the sixth person. 

“Ooh I see you can fly too!” Fareeha came over, seeing you from way back in the room. 

“I’m gonna go get ready for class though! It’s journalism?” you hop a little in air, kind of like when you stay up in the water. 

“Oh, I’m part of that class!” Hana called to you. 

“I’ll see you there! I’m gonna go back in the room because my friends are going to get worried,” you pointed at the window you came from. 

“Oh hey Hana!” Lucio called from the window, waving cheerfully. 

“Hey Lucio! Oh the three of us are going to that class,” Hana smiled happily. 

You quickly got to the window while all the girls waved their goodbyes at you, Lucio backing away to give you space. He exclaimed to Hana that he’ll see her in class. 

“You’re in journalism too? Can you show me where is it?” you look at Lucio curiously as he fixes the curtains of his windows.

“Yeah! And sure, no problem kiddo,” Lucio nodded eagerly, getting ready to pack his stuff. 

“Kind of smells good … Is it your drink?” Lucio breath in the air.

“It smells like cinnamon. Yeah, that’s my coffee,” you nodded, holding your cup a little. 

“Smells good!”

“You can try it! Hold up—” you move your hand around until you pull out another coffee cup full of the drink, holding it up for Lucio to take. 

“Thank you!” Lucio took it. You and Lucio got out in the living room to greet the others. Suddenly other people end up asking what the smell is, including Jesse. 

“Yummy, it smells like cinnamon rolls!” Jesse declared, sighing. 

“Lucio! You two got coffee without me?!” Baptiste pouted slightly. 

“We didn’t go anywhere! They are pulling it out of thin air – try it again,” Lucio suggested excitedly. You do so, pulling a coffee cup in each of your hand out of thin air and giving it to Baptiste and Jesse.

“It’s too sweet though, so it’s cool if you don’t like it,” you nodded a little. 

“Better than tasting boiled dirt,” Jesse shrug, holding the cup between his hands. 

“Mmmm it even tastes like cinnamon roll!” Lucio sigh in bliss, finally getting a drink of his coffee. Jesse and Baptiste look at the happy Lucio, looking down at their drink with more interest. You didn’t wait for them to try when you left to see if James is awake. You didn’t feel like breaking into their room, so you turn and went to say hi to Zenyatta, who just came out of his room. 

“I’m giving away coffee, you want some?” you ask. 

“Oh, I don’t drink or eat anything – but that is very kind of you,” Zenyatta nodded. 

“Then how do you get energy?” you ask curiously.

“From the Iris,” Zenyatta happily declare.

“Beautiful,” you nodded with agreement. 

“It’s wonderful, yes,” Zenyatta nodded along. 

“(y/n)! This is so good!” Baptiste pointed at his drink, Jesse nodding along while trying to drink the whole thing.

“Hey, let’s go meet up with Hana so we can go get breakfast,” Lucio patted your shoulder. You shrug, not seeing a problem with it. You were going to say good morning to James and Mako, but they didn’t wake up yet. You got your stuff and went with Lucio, later meeting with Hana downstairs.

“What is your favorite breakfasts stuff?” you asked curiously, walking beside the two. 

“There is this breakfast sandwich I loved so much back home – it’s like an egg toast and I try to make it on my own,” Hana explained, reminiscing on the taste of it. 

You hold Hana’s hand, fumbling your hand until a paper bag appears in her hand. She looks in awe, holding the bag up and seeing the inside – only to see it’s her favorite breakfast sandwich!

“Oh my – It’s this!! How did you do that?” Hana hops happily, holding her sandwich. 

“I’m an alien,” you shrug, not sure what to call yourself. Hana giggled at your response while Lucio paps your shoulder. 

“Egg custard pastries, please!” Lucio pats your shoulders. You reach your hand behind your back, pulling out two custard tarts. 

“Thank you! Oh, you are so cool!” Lucio smiled happily, picking up his breakfast. You pull out a blueberry scone to munch on with your coffee. You three went on their way to class now that they don’t see the point on going to the cafeteria. You suddenly feel … Bad. You start to wonder that you are paying for their friendship with gifts, making you cringe. You just wanted to be nice and make people’s day since it makes you happy too. You start to doubt yourself again, like always. Lucio, Hana, and you walk over to a smaller building with two floors. You keep up with the two, even though they are talking to each-other excitedly while you stay back a little. You all reach to a room; there is a large desk on the front while there are computer desks around. The teacher was an omnic, called professor Glitchbot. After everyone got in class, you recognize Olivia and quickly greeted her. 

“Hey, you’re here pretty early,” Olivia grin confidently. You nodded, suddenly turning your attention to the professor, who was also a renowned director and producer. 

“We are going to need b-rolls for our upcoming documentary of the LHD 2.0 aka the time machine, lots of them! Pay attention to the lightning and the ER room is on the back,” he explained. 

“GO GO GO!” he starts clapping, everyone except for the ones in post-production immediately got up and scrambled to get the equipment. You were behind the other students, most of them getting inside the equipment room. You only recognize Olivia in the room, but she stays behind since she’s part of the editing team. 

“Wait what’s a c-stand and a turtle stand what?” a student asked. 

You perk up, ghosting through everyone to get to a space close by. You look at the stands, looking at the legs … You struggled to pick up a stand, correctly placing it on the floor and tightening the knuckles. 

“… This is a c-stand, the legs form a C because the two legs are together while the turtle one has separate legs,” you pointed at the other stand. 

“Ooh okay,” they nodded, coming over to get a turtle stand. 

“Do yall need a turtle stand or c-stand?” you call out, although a bit shyly. 

“What’s the difference?” Lucio walk over to pick up the stands with ease. 

“Legs!” you pointed at the legs. 

“Ooh the legs,” he nodded a little. You follow behind him until someone pat your shoulders. 

“I forgot what beaches are!”

“Sandbags!”

“What’s the difference between this len and this other len?”

“I think that one is for landscape while other is for close-up, look how big the aperture is.”

They all got their equipment on a cart, quickly going on their way to the science building. There are multiple camera people with a few having trouble with theirs, like maybe something is wrong with their AWB or the focus is too weird. You try to help as much as you could, trying to remember everything from your previous major. 

“You are helping all these people; how do you know these things?” Hana asks, looking at you curiously. 

“Cinematic Arts was my major in my previous university – I’m not the best student though,” you falter a little. You remember how much you struggled with these things since there is too much information and positions for when doing production. 

“Cool!” she hops a little. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing honestly,” you mumbled, walking in circles. 

“I’m an AD, you can help others with camera operations and maybe be a cinematographer?” Hana suggested, looking through her tablet. 

You nodded, walking around to see if anyone needs more help. You still feel nervous talking to these people, but you suck it up to be helpful. You jumped when a loud crash is heard, your heart beating fast from how much it scared you the sudden loud noise. You quickly turn around to see what was that. 

“Oh no!” 

You look to see where the commotion is only to see the cart no longer floats, basically broken. The cart leans on one side a little. The cart floats rather than have wheels but welp, it broke down. 

“Do we have another cart?”

“I don’t know”

“I hope he doesn’t strangle us over this!”

Everyone is nervously talking to one another, not noticing you putting the equipment into your void until there is nothing in the cart. It was hard because you’re not use to picking up heavy objects. One suddenly notices the equipment is gone. 

“I have it on me, it’s weird – let’s go to where we are setting up and I’ll show you where it is,” you nodded a little. 

“Oh yeah! You all will be very impressed with what they can do!” Lucio assures cheerfully, remembering your powers. 

Everyone rushes through the science building, going into the empty science lab. When you are told this is where they are going to set up the stands and the tripods, you pull them out of the void. People’s jaw drops when you kept pulling stuff out, losing your balance a few times with how heavy the stands and apple boxes are. 

“You are so helpful!” Lucio jumped in joy while others try to set their stands and cameras up for filming. While they are setting up, you spot your two friends coming along.

You sprint away from the group when you saw James and Mako coming. They quickly notice you running towards them, James opening his arms up to catch you in his arms. You were going to ask first, but you excitedly hug him, James lowering a little to give you some reach. After he lets go, you quickly jump on Mako. He gingerly holds you in his arms, patting your back before placing you back on the ground. 

“Are you two busy?” you ask. 

“We’re on our way to the lab,” James replied, Mako coughing a little. 

“Oh there are camera people there, my class is trying to work on a documentary about that machine we saw,” you pointed your thumb behind you. 

“Oh cool! We’re going to be united for the time-being,” James grins happily. You went over to Mako and kept hugging him, wanting to feel safe again because you’re getting bad thoughts again. He didn’t question it, just walking over to the lab with you on his side. He blushes with how clingy you are, picking you up to place you on the floor while he carefully got on his seat. 

“You doing okay?” you asked Mako shyly. He nodded, James coming along to sit next to him. You quickly got over to Hana for more instruction. As more students start coming in, you recognize Lena and Mei. You are too shy to say hello though, so you stay near Hana. 

“Oh, you’re back on the ground!” Lena call to you. You turn around, taking the chance to greet Lena and Mei.

“Halo, my name is (y/n),” you greeted, nodding a little. 

“I’m Lena, nice to meet you love!” Lena greeted back cheerfully. You said hello to Mei, hearing Lena and Mei talk about how interesting it is to see you floating – until Lena’s face scrunch up in disgust. You got scared, looking away. 

“Ugh, Olivia,” Lena grumble. Mei look down a little, not sure how to respond. You turn to see Olivia talking to the production team before walking to her seat. 

“What’s wrong with Olivia? She’s a friend that helped me with getting ready for school,” you furrow your brows, not sure why Lena has this dislike towards the girl. Lena looks at you with bewilderment, scaring you even more. 

“Stay away from her, (y/n), she’s no good,” Lena warns you. You cower a little, nodding a bit and unsure on what to respond. You start remembering unpleasant memories, unpleasant people, unpleasant … You felt a large warm hand land on your shoulder. Mako must have noticed your discomfort, pulling you away from Lena to ask you something. 

“See you around!” Lena went back to her usual cheerful stance, Mei waving to you. You wave back weakly, not sure what to react. 

“You okay?” Mako asks you softly, crouching to be near you. You shook your head, not sure how to react. 

“Why?”

You were going to say something until Professor Winston, Professor De Kuiper, and Professor Harold came to class. Everyone quickly got into their seat and position, including the production team. You bap your head on Mako’s tummy before going back to Hana’s side. Winston talked to Glitchbot about the b-rolls, so he wasn’t surprised when he saw the production team there. You got the jitters, Hana not really noticing as she is busy giving instructions. You then realize who De Kuiper is, who is staring right back at you with those tired grey eyes.


	14. Your Digestive System Shut Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you try to eat borger but anxiety is being a hoe

“We are going to focus on the technicalities, exploring different theories and expansion of our idea on gravity,” Harold explains to the class. There are two or three people filming the class, either doing close-ups or just a panning of the whole class. You sat near James and Mako on the carpet floor, your back on the cold white wall listening to the professors talk about space and other astrophysics type shenanigans. You almost fell asleep with how peaceful they sound talking about their passion. You suddenly woke up when you hear chairs and stuff moving around, making you stand up to avoid getting stepped on. You got over to Hana gingerly to hear what she had to say. 

“Okei, that is your first assignment! Go ask Dr. De Kuiper when it is a good time for an interview and email the class! I’ll send you through text, can you give me your phone number?” Hana pull out her phone while you do so as well, exchanging numbers. You then help move the equipment and put it back in the ER while they let the professor know about the broken cart. 

You walk over to Siebren speaking to Harold outside of the classroom, far back in the hallway. 

… You didn’t want to interrupt them, so you just stood around awkwardly. You didn’t know what to do until you felt a looming shadow over you. You look up to see Siebren, who came over to you. 

“Oh hey, tall man,” you look towards his torso. Siebren laughed with the nickname you gave him.

“Hallo! How is class doing, little one?” he asks, glancing down at you kindly. 

“I feel tension,” you said honestly. 

“Tension? How so?”

“Maybe it is because they are concerned about the whole experimentation type shenanigans, but it feels like there are domestic problems as well,” you try to explain. 

“You mean the possibility that students are not getting along?” 

“Yes, exactly. Makes me anxious,” you nodded eagerly. 

“You have nothing to worry about, I’m sure things will go smoothly as possible,” he assures, smiling softly. 

“I’m always restless, my hypothalamus doesn’t function correctly,” you squint, lowkey trying to speak like him. 

“Mhmm,” Siebren nodded along. 

“Too much adrenaline and too little of dopamine,” you try to specify, at least from what you remember from psychology class. 

“Are you taking any medications for it?” he asks

“Yes, Zenyatta prescribed some,” you nodded along.

“I don’t know why they didn’t ask but hey, I’m part of journalism,” you explained. 

“Oh yes?” Siebren listen to you.

“We would love to have an interview with you, especially because the way you talk about the universe is so passionate and poetic,” you explained further, blushing a little when you try to compliment him. 

“I would be happy to,”

“When is it a good time? We can set up the time and location that works best for you,” you ask softly. 

Siebren rub his chin, thinking about it. 

“Hmmm maybe tomorrow at noon since they are doing maintenance of the whole campus,” he suggested. 

“Maintenance?” 

“It takes a lot for the machine to be powered, so they have to check on the electricity and such or it becomes a problem,” Siebren explain.

“Oh boy,” you look down a little. 

“Oh yeah you’re always giving me stuff so uhh …” You look around, picking at the air. Siebren looks at you curiously before you pull out a churro. 

“What’s this?”

“Churro, a Spanish treat that is really popular back in my city,” you hold up. 

“That’s very sweet of you, thank you,” he smiled kindly to you, receiving the churro. 

“… No pun intended,” he smiled wider. 

“Huh? Ohhh,” you wheeze a little, smiling. Siebren laughs along, reaching down to pat your head. 

“You’re so cute,” he admitted with no problem. 

You suddenly feel much better, loving how … loving he is. You heard a grunt near you, prompting you to turn and see Mako and James walking behind you. You were right; Siebren is significantly taller than Mako. You waved hello to the two guys as they walk closer to you. You turn back to Siebren to talk to him for a little bit longer. 

“I’ll let the production team know then, thank you!” you nodded eagerly. 

“No problem, (y/n),” Siebren smiled softly. You wave goodbye, tagging behind Mako as he and James left for lunch. 

“Mako …” you shyly call to him. Mako looks down at you, his attention focus on you. 

“Is Olivia going to eat with us? Because I want us to hang out by ourselves,” you suggested hesitantly. 

“Sure, why?”

“Too many people, too crowded,” you said, hoping they are not going to pressure you or guilt you into the cafeteria.

“Let’s go to the burger joint then,” Mako suggested quickly. 

“Uhh yeah sure!” James shrug, not seeing the problem. 

“I’m sorry …” you muttered. 

“About what? You been kind of jumpy lately,” James pats your back. 

“I been nervous the whole day, been thinking too much,” you mumbled shyly. 

“It’s probably because it’s your first day, that’s always nerve-wracking,” James reassure, patting your back. He then texts Olivia to see if she is okay with coming over to eat with the three of you. She said sure, quickly coming over to meet at the dorms. They all walk over to a burger place nearby. You can smell the fries from meters away. You all went in, seeing the drive-thru full because it’s lunch time. The inside isn’t as crowded though. You tug at Mako’s shirt to get his attention while the group wait in line.

“You want me to pay you back?” you ask softly. Mako shook his head no, proceeding to ask you what you want. You got a chicken sandwich with fries and a coke while Mako order some more stuff for himself. James and Olivia pay for their own food. While they wait for their food, Mako decide to stand around while the rest of the group went to sit. It’s very obvious you are on edge, your leg and hand fumbling around. 

“You okay, mate?” James asks, noticing your weird behavior.

“… Lena randomly told me to be careful with you,” you admitted, feeling bad snitching her out. 

“Oh, about me? she been saying that about me, she doesn’t like me,” Olivia shrug, not faze at all. 

“Why would she go around saying that?! That’s so – illogical and stressful and eughhh,” you hold your head in, getting even more war flashbacks. 

“Just ignore her, I do,” Olivia assure, taking a sip of her drink.

“It’s fine, it’s not a huge deal,” James pats your back. 

“In fact – Okay was it last week? Yeah last week … Lena randomly said that it’s not a problem if Olivia disappears forever into the abyss when she was asking about her translocator. It’s like a teleporter thingy – Can you show it?” 

“What the fuck?” you squint in confusion. 

“She might as well tell you to go kill yourself, that’s basically what she is saying what the –” 

James snickered with Olivia, meanwhile she pulls out her translocator. 

“The class is struggling with that stupid thing until she figured out how to work it, but then Lena accuses her of stealing it from Winston,” James explained, making the long story short. 

“But it’s … A class project h u h,” you squint even harder, feeling your brain squeeze itself. 

“Just don’t worry about it, the only person being stressed out over nothing is the brit,” James assure, taking a sip of his boba tea while Olivia but her translocator back in her bag.

“Ughhh that is so fucking stupid ughhh…” you grab your head, still getting bad memories. 

“Is that why you been worried? Because of what Lena said?” James pat your back while you’re crouched. You hummed a yes, still squeezing your eyes shut. 

“… I don’t remember you swearing this much, it’s pretty funny,” he giggled a little. 

“I just express myself with colorful vocabulary,” you mumbled, stirring slowly while James laughs at your explanation. 

“I’m so sorry Olivia ughhh that makes me cringe…”

“Eh, I don’t care – it’s fine, amigo.” 

Mako came back with the food, sitting at the table with the group. 

“Thank you Mako,” you look at him with the softest look on your face. That made Mako’s heart squeeze itself. Feeling his face get flush. 

“No problem,” he grumbled shyly, before he put a huge bite of his burger. 

James and Olivia look at one another, reading each other’s mind and smiling mischievously. Mako is too focus on eating while you’re always looking down, feeling like a small baby. You’re too scared of getting involved in the drama just because Lena randomly drag you into it, which makes you frustrated and angry. Who does that? That is so weird! —you felt a pat on your back. You look up at Mako, who is looking at you with those droopy but aggressive eyes.   
“Eat,” he said, rubbing your back. 

You remember the food, trying to ignore the awful feeling in your stomach. You hate it, you hate it, why would this stupid bitch say such a thing?! The fuck is this, high school?!! You felt your teeth clench … 

“Mako they are upset because of what Lena said about Olivia,” James let Mako know since Mako kept looking down at you with concern. 

“…” Mako rub your back, remembering how frightened you look when you just stop talking to her back in his class. 

“Please don’t say anything to her, I’m scared,” you mumbled a little, trying not to freak out any further. 

“We won’t, snitches get stitches,” James assure, giving you a tater tot. Mako wanted to warn Lena for making you this distressed, but he wants to respect your wishes. 

“Noo… It’s yours,” you shoo the tater tot away. 

“Nah, take it,” James place the tater tot on your fries.

“… Why skinny people have the biggest dynamites?” James commented out of the blue. Mako looks disappointed at having to hear stupid shit until he noticed you wheezing, smiling a little. 

“I’m serious like the regular guys in pornos have regular size dynamites while the weird skinny white guys in those amateur videos—”

“Shut the fuck up,” Mako furrow his brows in annoyance while you and Olivia kept laughing at his explanation. James is happy that it’s distracting you from your anxiety, so he kept going with this stupid topic. 

“I’m serious! Go to Pornhub.com and you will understand!”

“I only watch bonda—shitposts – shitposts and the comment sections,” you blushed hard, not wanting to be brutally honest. 

“Pornhub has a comment section??” James squint, officially making Mako lose his composure while Olivia and you kept dying. 

“There are kids here—” you mumbled as you try not to wheeze anymore. 

“Mako it’s a school day, there are no kids around,” James pointed out, the restaurant now kind of empty. 

“Of course there are kids around, in fact, I’m looking at one right now,” Olivia boops James in the nose.   
“Hey!” James glares with a pout, earning a chuckle from Mako. You went to eat your food, your stomach feeling a little better. You loved the food, remembering how much you love to eat. You finish everything, without choking thankfully, because James still tries to distract you with comedy. 

“Don’t worry about me or that person, (y/n), you got school to deal with … And time travelling,” Olivia assure, booping you on your nose. You nodded to her, telling her about Siebren’s willingness for an interview tomorrow and a goodbye. You, James, and Mako walk back to the dorms after lunch while Olivia went back to the journalism building to help with post-production. 

“Thank you, James,” you smile a little. 

“For what?” James turn to you.

“For making me feel better,”

“Ahh uhh no problem! I’m a joy to be around!” James declared proudly. 

Your next class also has an omnic professor Botruvio. She teaches sculpture and art classes, so you are a bit at ease being there. Your other class is an engineering class that talks about the basics. They didn’t really notice you were there or even introduced you, which you don’t mind. When everyone got back to the dorms, you went ahead and shower since you sweat from walking around the whole day. After getting in your sleep wear, you got on your bed and start drawing before getting ready for bed. You suddenly got hungry though. You didn’t know what to do until … You quickly pull out a stroopwaffle Siebren gave you at some point. You munch on the treat, living the crunch and the sweetness. 

Mako sits on his bed, feeling his heart beat faster. He really has no idea when was the last time he felt that way towards a person. He’s feeling so annoyed too since he didn’t like how Lena stressed you out with what she said about Olivia. He wanted to tell her to back off so bad, but you don’t want her to know you talk to other people about it. He’s debating whether to check up on you or stay in bed. He doesn’t want to appear creepy, even though he already did a bunch of weird stuff like picking you up or putting you on his bed when you were having a bad night … Mako got up with a grunt, walking out of his room to go to your room. He knocked first, with only you have heard it because Lucio is too busy listening to his mixing. You open the door to see Mako, peering at you with dilated pupils. You open the door for him, going back to your bed to keep eating the stroopwaffles. 

“What’s that?” Mako asks. 

“Some kind of wafer – a friend kept giving it to me,” you try to get rid of any crumbs left, cleaning after yourself with a little help of your powers. Mako hums, closing the door behind him. He’s not sure what to do. He stood there with you sitting on your bed, yawning and getting sleepier. You put your stuff away, getting up to clean your teeth. Mako follow suit, brushing his teeth with you. You didn’t mind his presence; you trust him. After cleaning your teeth, you went back in your bed to lay down. 

“… You okay?” Mako asks softly. 

“Mmhmm,” you mumbled, cuddling into your bed covers. 

“Okay, good night then,” Mako nodded, giving you head scratched and a soft pat on the head. He went out of your room through the restroom … Before he went ahead and collapse on his bed, groaning in his pillow in frustration.


	15. The Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siebren sees you having a bad time
> 
> Warnings for subtle mentions of suicide and angst

You didn’t really sleep well again, mostly because you’re still worried about stuff. The reason why you felt awful about that small incident is because there were too many situations where everyone, including friends, would tell you to stay away from everyone.

_“The are going to hurt you”_

_“They are using you”_

_“Friends are not necessary”_

Worst part is you get hurt by people when you give them a chance to redeem themselves … Or you chickened out before you can have a reasonable explanation for why people would warn about the individual in the first place. It’s because of that attitude you got too untrustworthy of everyone. In fact, your previous best friend would talk bad about people all the time but then be nice towards them. Sometimes she would lie to them about how everything is alright. So who knows if she is doing the same thing to you?

It makes you angry … Why can’t people just talk to each-other like they are supposed to? Just talk it out instead of always resorting to anger and passive aggressiveness. You _hate_ passive aggressive people. You rather have them screaming at you instead of being so sneer about it. Ugh. Your brutal honesty towards others is what gets you in trouble, and it did.

People are so stupid. So fucking stupid.

You stay awake to either watch videos or listen to music … Or catch up on your cinematic arts stuff.

You start to question whether it was a good idea to be a student. Overwatch university appears to be a prestigious type of university, even more prestigious than Harvard or Rice. You start think you are not going to make it to graduation. Why are you doubting yourself? Well, it was because your grades start failing as your friendship with others start failing. You are not sure if it’s even a friendship or something one-sided. People only talk to you for attention or they never do until they do it out of pity or want something in return … Like cybering. You are not happy with it. It’s something you withhold from Zenyatta and from your previous psychiatrist. You are not proud, but awfully angry at yourself for being so touch-starved that you would do such things with someone that didn’t even give a shit about you. At least it was just one person and you were loyal to that person but … You are just a bootycall. Period. You kept getting these awful and embarrassing memories, tumbling down at you. If they are dead by this time, their ghost is probably cackling at your shame. You hate yourself because you allow your emotions to fuck up your education. You hate yourself because you allow yourself to be controlled by others. You have so much to complain about yourself, like how emotional or dramatic you are while the people that hurt you probably didn’t have one moment to think about you. You kept clenching your teeth and cringing from stress, the thoughts not leaving you alone. If you can’t handle yourself, how can you handle real life? It’s making you angrier and desperate, waking you up completely in tears. You’re not sure what to do. You feel like escaping somewhere, stopping to b r e a t h e. You’re awfully tired but not. You’re lonely but you want to be by yourself. Being alive is making you anxious, you can’t, you can’t ….

  
You got up, quickly sprinting out of the window – you fell for a little bit until you got a few feet on the ground. You scrambled to fly away, trying to stare at the environment so you can be calm enough to move around. You were doing okay for a little bit. You manage to rise high enough to see the city lights nearby, getting close to it … But then –

_“Don’t trust them”_

_“Not to be the boogeyman but he’s obviously using you for attention”_

You immediately start falling, making you yelp. You kept trying to stop midair, which you did a few times, but you got too intimidated to go back in the sky now. You try to but the doubts – you end up falling onto the ground, whining as you roughly roll down from a hill. You lay on the grass still and quiet for a long time, not moving an inch. Then whimpers suddenly came out of you. You start crying like a big baby, letting the tears and snot get on the grass as you kept laying there face planted.

Mako is going to get angry at you for not telling anyone anything, you don’t want to wake people up because of your tomfoolery, you just don’t want to be around p e o p l e. You’re sick and tired of pissing people off for nothing. You’re _done_. You might as well not talk to anyone ever again, so you don’t have to deal with stupid drama. Might as well run away and starve yourself until you stop moving. You just don’t want to be around anymore. Who wants to hang out with an emotional fuckup like yourself? Unless you are submissive enough to be okay being treated like a servant or a fucktoy. You’re too angry and tired to be that. You been taken advantage of all your life. You’re done. You’re tired. It’s been 20 years. You’re tired. You’re tired. You’re tired. You’re tired. You crawl yourself into a fetal position, hearing cars speeding by in the distance while crickets chirped. You kept whimpering and hiccuping, bawling your eyes out. You remembered how you did that in the restroom, in your car, by yourself in your room … It feels nice not trying to squeeze your sadness in like you did all the time. You were too busy sobbing that you didn’t hear a voice coming nearer.

“(y/n)? Oh no, (y/n)!”

The man quickly come over to you. But then you suddenly freak out, growling and thrashing your arms around angrily when you felt his arms trying to grab you. You didn’t notice the ground around you crunching into itself.

“(y/n) what—(y/n) it’s me, Siebren!”

You still being aggressive, pushing him off or trying to scratch. Siebren quickly let you go, backing away a little when he noticed you’re not okay.

“Did someone violate you? What happened?” he exclaimed worryingly. You stay on the ground with your head low, having no idea that your powers are reacting to your anger. Siebren got his hands out, trying to back away a little further. He saw what is happening immediately, quickly coming up with an idea to distract you.

“What about the interview?” he asked nervously.

You suddenly got your whole weight back on the grass, resuming your crying.

“(y/n), what’s wrong? Did someone put their hands on you? Why are you not wearing any pants?”

You quickly look up, your dirty face filled with confusion. You look down on yourself, realizing in horror that you are only wearing your shirt and underwear… You start to cry harder.

“Oh dear, let me take you inside – It’s not good to be exposed like that,” he suggested softly, kind of cautious on not trying to anger you anymore. You’re really out of your mind at the point. He carefully picks you up, immediately going on his way on an unfamiliar place. You’re too embarrassed to do anything at this point. In this blender of self-hate and harsh memories, you are beating yourself up for making a fool of yourself in front of someone pristine like Dr. De Kuiper himself. He’s probably going to tell his coworkers and other scientist about how crazy you are, maybe make autistic jokes at you. That’s what people always did, as unoriginal of a dank joke it is. You didn’t notice what he was doing because of how ... l o u d your thoughts are. You didn’t hear him pull up his keycard, you didn’t hear him open a door, you didn’t hear his footsteps, his steady breathing …

He puts you on a sofa, going into his kitchen to get a clean rag to dip in water. You resume your fetal position, hiding your face in shame. You just want to die. Like purposefully sprint up in the air as high as you could so your neck can break on impact. Or just jump off a bridge like you always imagine yourself doing ….

You felt a wet, soft texture rub over your cheek. Siebren hold your head up to rub your face with a damp rag, cleaning your face up from all the nasty stuff. No wonder no one takes you seriously, you really are a huge baby stuck in an adult body. Worse – another statistic of how you’re a waste of space.

“I’m a doctor of a different kind but … Seriously, did you got assaulted or what happened?” Siebren asks in a gentle tone, gazing at you with a concern look on his face. You couldn’t speak because you know you’re going to be a blubbering mess if you try, so you quietly kept crying.

“Oh no, did you really? Who did it?” he furrow his brows, getting angry at the thought someone doing something horrible to you.

You mumbled out something while shaking your head no.

“I can’t fly,” you manage to enunciate.

“You mean you fell?” he asks in a hush tone.

You shake your head yes, whimpering a little.

“Then where is your pants?”

“Can’t sleep,”

“You can’t sleep?” he’s getting confused but scared for you, gently wiping more tears off your face. He hesitantly tries to rub off the dirt on your legs and arms.

“No,”

“You sleep with no pants on?”

“Yes”

“So you are not assaulted? You just fell?”

“Yeah”

“You’re telling the truth?”

“Yes”

Siebren nodded, brushing his long fingers through your hair to get the leaves or dirt off you.

“I will kill anyone that put their hands on you like that,” he muttered, still being gentle with his touch.

You didn’t really hear him, still getting terrorize by your thoughts. After he’s done trying to clean you up, he gently picks you up from the sofa to carry you somewhere. He opened another door, closing it behind him to gently place you on an awfully soft place. You lay on your side and kept crying. He got another rag so you can blow on it and stuff, placing it next to your head. He is not sure whether to leave you alone or to sleep on the sofa or … Anything. He’s worried that maybe you finally snap and start experiencing the same thing he is, his heart breaking from the thought of that.

“Are you hearing music? Voice?” he quietly asks you. You mumbled out a no, finally grabbing the rag to blow your nose in.

“Why are you crying so much?” he pets you very gently. Again, you didn’t want to say anything because it will sound gibberish at your state. You felt yourself move up but didn’t feel his hands. He gingerly pulls out the cover from under you to put it over you. He’s still debating whether to stick around or leave you alone until it’s morning. He doesn’t want to be inappropriate but you’re not really in a good state to tell him what you want to do honestly.

… He sat on the carpet floor with his back on his massive bed, too worried to leave you alone in case you end up hurting yourself. He looks around the room silently, hearing your sniffles. The reason why he was up in the first place is because he couldn’t sleep either. He kept hearing voices and most of the time this weird music or hum inside his head. He knew he is not right in the head, especially since the experiment. If the authorities found out about how unstable his powers are going to be …

  
“Sorry…”

Siebren turns to you a little, kind of relieve your voice distracted him.

“Why the apology, little one?” he asks softly.

“I’m a dumbass”

“Huh?” he’s surprised to hear you cuss for the first time.

“Sorry … I’m stupid,” you corrected yourself, also weirded out using that language to a well-known scientist.

“No, no … You’re not,” he assures, giving you a small, sad smile.

“Those thoughts – they are not going away,” you whined out a little.

“Was it there before the time-travelling?” Siebren asks worringly.

“It’s b e e n there, always, reminding me of how useless I am,” you sobbed, crying harder again.

Siebren have a sudden epiphany; It’s hard enough having to deal with mental stuff, but being born with it? Then having to deal with it all your life without ever experiencing what it means to be in a normal state of mind? His heart shattered right then and there, realizing what is actually wrong with you. He felt like an idiot for not remembering that important fact about you and your anxious nature.

_Sometimes I forget I suffered. Always thinking that maybe it could be worse_

What about if it could be worse? You’re in pain and it’s breaking his poor old heart, having to process you probably been like that your whole life. Forget about his struggles, you must deal with it from the start. The panic attacks, the thoughts, nightmares … It’s probably all normal to you.

He didn’t realize he is slowly crawling up in bed with you, pulling the covers up so he can be there with you. He spoons you, holding you close to him. He completely lost track of what he was doing, like giving you space. You didn’t push him away though – you just snuggle up and try to even out your breathing. He has a concrete idea on just how small you are, his torso being the same size as you. You feel warm against him, he felt so … at peace with you. Like being with you is strangely healing him. He can’t hear anything. Just you struggling to breath in and out, too shy to snort everything out of your system in case you disgust him. He closes his eyes slowly, loving how soft and warm you feel against him. He wants to stay with you forever like this. He wakes up to the sound of his alarm clock, slowly realizing what he’s done as he looks down at your sleeping face. He gingerly reach over behind him to turn off the alarm, seeing it being 6:30 AM. He wanted to stay here with you though … It feels so good being this close to you, humming and tightening his grip around you.

… But then you quickly woke up in a panic, looking around in confusion. Siebren tightens harder around you, squeezing you flush against his chest. You squirm under his grasp – you turn to see it was Siebren. You got worried and quickly kick the cover away from your legs. Your underwear is still intact. He got really long legs though and he’s pretty big.

“Sir, what time is it? Am I late?” you asked shyly.

“We have time,” he mumbled, placing his cheek on your scalp.

“I really hope you didn’t – wait what about the interview? What about wh—why are you being this clingy, what --??” you pouted, squirming more.

Siebren suddenly grunts, loosening his arms around you. You shivered hearing that, slowly turning around to see if you hurt him or something. Siebren have his eyes shut, feeling his cheek heat up.

“… My apologies,” he squinted.

He blushed redder when you squeeze yourself around to face him, your whole front body now against him. He looks at you with his shy, big bluish eyes … Until you gingerly try to squeeze yourself from under his arms. You manage to get out of his grasp, sitting down on the bed to fix your hair. He blinks nervously.

“… Did you fondle me?” you asked.

“… What—ah uhh no! No, no … I was worried because you never told me why you were outside with your pants off,” Siebren stuttered out shyly.

“Oh uhh …” you suddenly remember what a mess you were last night, feeling embarrassed.

“… I’m not mentally stable, I’m so sorry you have to see that,” you covered your face in shame.

“Me neither honestly—what, oh no! No, I was worried for you and thought someone raped you!” he blurted out.

“Huh? No, I was trying to fly but I fell. My intrusive thoughts would mess up my powers,” you explained finally.

“I would have killed the rapist if that were to happen!” you added with confidence. You actually hope someone can attack you, so you have someone to throw all your anger and frustrations at through gouging their eyes out with your bare hands.

“Where is your pants?” he repeated his question for the 100th time, still shy about it.

“I sleep with no pants. I went out because I couldn’t sleep. Was too anxious to and I kept getting these … thoughts. Yeah. Annoying,” you try to explain, too close off to be vulnerable about it. Too much memories. Too much information.

Siebren suddenly catch you back in his arms, sitting on his knees as he pulls you against him.

“I’m glad I was there to see you, you were in so much pain and I was so scared for you,” Siebren coos, rubbing his cheek on your hair. You nuzzle your cheek on his shoulder, only worried about missing class as of now. You just notice how fast his heart is beating in his chest. You didn’t realize how much Siebren loves you; not only can he feel this connection with you because of what you two experience, but something about you quiet down his demons.

If only he can do the same for you.


	16. Stardust to Stardust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siebren dots around you because he really loves you, then again you're too oblivious to it ;;

Mako woke up at around 7 in the morning, James already getting dressed for the day. Stirring up a little, he yawns as he gets up from his bed. Mako went straight to the living room after he got his cereal bowl with James, sitting in the living room to watch TV. Jesse and Hanzo are softly speaking to one another in the kitchen while Baptiste and Zenyatta already left. Lucio got into the living room with his backpack, leaving the dorms. He emailed you about his next show and about the interview at some point yesterday. He didn’t really ask anyone about you being gone because he probably assumed you left early. Mako notice that you been gone for two mornings straight; yesterday you left with Lucio and Hana without saying good morning to anyone. He even noticed Lucio left without you, even though he knew you were part of journalism because of yesterday’s project. That worried Mako, prompting him to get up and see if maybe you overslept. He got in the room, seeing both beds empty. He gently closes the door, confused more than ever. Maybe he’s overreacting or being too clingy, but he felt the need to protect you because you look so vulnerable and small. Do you have any idea how much he cares for you? He got back in the couch to finish his cereal reluctantly, feeling annoyed. James notice something was off immediately, his amber eyes peering up at his friend’s tired face. 

“You alright, mate?” James asks. 

“…”

“You’re worried for (y/n), huh?” James nodded in agreement, moving his spoon around the milk in his bowl. 

Mako got up from his couch, going to the kitchen to clean his bowl and spoon. James drank the milk from the bowl before getting up as well. 

“I’m sure they are fine, they probably left to help with the production team over at journalism,” James assures, patting Mako’s back. Mako couldn’t help but still worry though, he kind of felt like you’re keeping too much from everyone. He’s not wrong though. He just hopes you really are okay. 

Meanwhile, you’re awkwardly sitting on the bar of Siebren’s kitchen. You have shorts on this time. He came with two plates, holding this toast with chocolate sprinkles on it. He also gave coffee for you two. 

“You want some cream or sugar?” he asks softly, sitting down next to you. 

“No, thank you though,” you nodded softly. You ate the toast with no problem, glad it was actual sprinkles and not something else entirely. You have this memory of you mistaking wasabi for guacamole so nope. 

You two sat in silence, just finishing your breakfast while you pull up your phone from nowhere. You look through your emails and text, reading what Olivia or Hana sent you. You saw Lucio’s emails and other important things related to the interview. Lucio’s email is about how his show is going to be on Friday evening, luckily after your weekly therapy session with Zenyatta. You hope you’re stable enough by then so your powers don’t go haywire, especially since you knew you don’t like loud noises or parties. 

While eating your toast, you look timidly to Siebren, noticing that he’s pretty buff for an old guy. You don’t know how old he is, but you know he was a baby when you disappeared. He’s probably around his 60s…? Siebren quickly turn around to his right when he notices your head turning, pretending that he wasn’t staring down at you. His heart swells and beat faster looking at your small, plump form. He’s glad you don’t appear unhappy about the toast. He wants to stay home with you so he can spoil you, but he doesn’t want to put you in jeopardy with your education.

After breakfast, you clean after yourself and place your plate on top of Siebren’s. He got up to put the plates and cups away. You didn’t move from your seat, swinging your legs slowly because of how tall your stool is. He cleans his plates quickly, not minding your presence at all. You kept looking at your phone for your class schedule and such, noticing that you don’t have any classes except for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. All your classes are before five o clock, which is the time of the appointment. After drying the plates and putting them away, he walks over you to pick you up from the stool and put you on the ground. You yelp a little when you felt hands on you, making Siebren chuckle. You finally put your phone away, blinking slowly while yawning. 

“Thank you, sir,” you squinted, giving the tiniest smile. 

“You’re very welcome,” Siebren beams, patting your head. 

Ugh, everyone treats you like a baby – but you couldn’t help but love the head pats from people. You squeeze in your happy noises out of pride, squinting. 

“I’m worried about your abilities still being unstable, so I got us a ride,” he assures, still patting your back. You nodded a little before quickly going in his room to dress up. He sat on his couch while waiting for you to come out. He woke up earlier to get a shower and be ready for the interview. After you’re done dressing up decently, you walk over to the living room shyly. You’re awfully scared of making Siebren angry or something, so you been kind of …. Stiff. Rigid. A bit worried. He’s been nothing but sweet to you though. You two made it to the university on time, Siebren picking you up from your seat to place you on the sidewalk before tipping the driver.

“The room they are going to interview you at is in one of the quiet study rooms over at the library,” you informed him, trying to catch up to his long stride with your tiny feet. 

“This is only my second day though, so I have no idea where the library is …”

“I’ll show you, here,” he suddenly holds your hand, leading you to where the library building is. The library is twice as big as the library you used to work at back in your old life, rows of books and areas around. You remember the room being L 205, so the both of you went to the second floor. You suggested that flying is faster, but he is still worried over you falling again. Siebren walks over to the quiet wing of the library, the loud students no longer being heard. You look at the labels on each quiet room door to see which one is L 205 until you found the crew doing finishing touches on the set. Hana spots you through the window, quickly coming over to open the door for you two. 

“Just in time! We are done with the setup and you can start as soon as you want,” Hana smiled sweetly, closing the door behind her. Lucio came over, carrying headphones and other audio equipment. 

“You got my email?” Lucio asks excitedly. 

“Yes, I’ll be available by then,” you nodded with a small smile, assuring him. 

“Good! Also yeah let’s get this party started,” he nodded back, coming back over to check if the equipment is working well enough. They eventually started on the interview, allowing Siebren to sit on a chair in front of bookshelves. They moved the large desk away from view and they stay quiet while Hana gave him the questions. Everything about this is familiar to you, remembering how you helped do interviews like this back in the day with your classmates. You weren’t close to them though. You saw on the carpet floor listening to his answers; you find his voice strangely calming with how happy he sounds, passionately talking about his job as an astrophysicist. Lucio carefully record the audio while the camera operator checks on the batteries and focus. After thirty minutes, the interview is done. They all clap in celebration while you carefully got up from the floor. 

“I need a haircut though, but I look presentable at least?” Siebren asks, smiling humbly. 

“You did great! Thank you for the opportunity!” Hana replied cheerfully, grinning ear to ear. 

“Oh, thanks to you all as well, much oblige,” he nodded in agreement. 

They spent the next thirty minutes putting their equipment away, this time with your help. You quickly went along with the class to put the stuff back in the ER while giving the footage to the post-production team. Siebren stay at the library because they ran to his colleague Harold, going to talk to one another with coffee. You asked the professor if there is anything else you need to do, although nervously. 

“We did the interview, now the post-production team is in charge for now,” professor Glitchbot replied, looking through his schedule. 

“Oh okay,” you nodded timidly. 

“Also – how did you know so much when yesterday was your first day?” he asks. 

“You mean stuff like what’s a flag or a beach? My previous major was cinematic arts,” you explain with no problem, trying to look at him in his … Eyes? You think the circles there are eyes. 

“Why you got out of that major?” he asks curiously. 

“Oh, that was in my old university. I transferred here,”

“The world needs more directors … Actually no they need more people to work behind the scenes,” Glitchbot muses.   
“Anyways … See you tomorrow, we have more stuff to do,” he informs you. 

You said your goodbyes to him before going to check on Olivia, but she seems busy. You quickly left from the room only to run into Siebren, who went around looking for you. 

“You have any other class or it’s lunch time for you?” he gazes at you sweetly. 

“No, I looked at my class schedule,” you nodded quickly, feeling your hunger coming back since you only ate bread and sprinkles. 

“… Can I take you somewhere?” he asks, although a bit shyly. 

“No, it’s okay,” you wave your hand. You feel … Weird. Like your presence might make people start making up horrible rumors about him, like how maybe he’s a sugar daddy or some creep that preys on younger folks. 

“You seem nervous, you alright?” he furrows his brows a little in concern. You suddenly turn around and walk away quickly, feeling like someone might be watching. Their eyes might be looking at you, judging you … You ran off to go outside of the building to go back to the dorms, only for Siebren to catch up to you. 

“(Y/n)? What’s wrong? Why did you ran out like that,” Siebren asks worryingly. 

“I got scared,” you admitted, feeling too hesitant to stop walking but the man is a giant, he can just walk and can still reach to you. 

“Of what?”

“Sir, why are you even hanging out with me?” you suddenly blurted out, quickly getting scared that you angered him. 

“Because you’re a friend, is that a problem?” he asks, curiously looking at you. Your dumbass already thought you angered him, feeling yourself cower before him. 

“(y/n), let me get you something to eat,” he suggested, not realizing that you’re scared. 

“They might start rumors about you, like how you’re a creep for hanging around with me,” you explained honestly, still feeling terrified. 

“Why so?”

“Sir look at me! I’m a baby compared to you – I act like a baby too so why??” you squint in confusion and fear. You were expecting – no, you start to see him with an angry scowl when he furrows his brows, you were just waiting until he abandons you or berate you. But your brain is misreading his face of concern for anger. 

“Hey hey hey, it’s alright, let me get you something to eat because I don’t want you flying around and getting yourself hurt. You’re still much too unstable to,” he suggested, patting your head. 

“See?! I can’t even protect myself,” you mumbled angrily, not sure what to do. 

He sighs, picking you up and walking out of the building only for you to desperately squeeze out of his grasp. Siebren isn’t angry at you, just confused on why you suddenly don’t want anything to do with him. In fact, he finds how stubborn you are very endearing. 

“Lieveling, it’s okay – Let me take care of you,” he bends his fingers towards him repeatedly, beckoning you to come closer to him. You flinch and stay away from him when you saw people walking by, Siebren not understanding your concern. 

“Nu,” you grumbled, walking angrily to the dorms. He wanted to grab you but that would be harassment at that point. Instead, you walk over next to you without laying a finger at you. 

“Tell me what’s wrong, nobody is around,” he tells you in a soft tone, appearing guilty. His heart hurt – what did he do wrong?

“… I lost a friend to suicide because of a rumor,” you admitted.

“Oh …” his expression saddens, catching himself before he puts his hand on your shoulder. Again, doesn’t want to touch you until you say so. 

“Basically, anyone can make a rumor without proof and it’s enough to destroy your career; that’s how mob mentality is,” your blood boil remembering the situation. 

“What was the rumor?”

“That he’s a pedophile and an abuser.”

“Oh dear …”

“No evidence, no court case, nothing … And he’s still punished for a crime he didn’t commit because he’s a man. Wouldn’t be a big deal if he was a woman,” you look down on the ground. 

"He was my age, 20."

Siebren looks at you curiously, but still very much sorry for what your friend been through. 

“I’m scared that if someone were to actually hate you enough or is too immature enough, they might start a horrible rumor about you,” you explained, not looking as tense. 

“Did I make you uncomfortable in anyway? What made you worry of such things?” he asks softly, looking at you with so much kindness. 

“Because I hate myself, I guess … I always think I bring bad luck to anyone around me,” you said. Siebren hummed, understanding that he’s not the problem. 

“You didn’t do anything to me, but humans are scary. They will lie, cheat, murder, destroy people’s lives … They are the demons of this world,” your eyes sunk a little, feeling anger for the people stupid enough to allow your friend’s downfall to happen. 

“I hate myself and I hate people,” you shrug, trying to shrink all your issues into one sentence. 

Siebren didn’t look at you with malice nor shame, but your brain kept making you think he really is thinking negatively about you –

“The day is very beautiful, didn’t you notice?” he comments out of the blue. You look up, noticing that it’s still morning and the birds are chirping happily. The sky is blue, decorated around with huge chunks of white clouds. 

“I listened to you by the way, just want you to feel better … You sure you don’t want me to get you something to eat?” he asks again. 

“I’ll just … Pull something out of thin air, I think I can focus enough to do that,” you squint. 

“You want me to stop touching you, like giving you head pats or hugs?” he asks. 

“I don’t but I also don’t want people to assume stuff,” you admitted shyly. 

“I don’t think others should matter, but I shall respect your wishes,” he assures, patting your head and giving you a bit of head scratching. His heart instantly feels better when he saw you smiling, enjoying his affection. You two kept walking over to the dorms, barely seeing anyone around. You went to the stairs to start flying up, scaring Siebren to stick his arms out in case you get intrusive thoughts. He then starts floating towards you, going up the stairs to reach you. You two reach to the floor of your dorm finally, walking over there with no problem. 

“I’m nervous around you because you’re superior than me in many ways, I’m just a kid,” you look at Siebren shyly. 

“(y/n), I’m your friend, always remember that,” he reassures sincerely, patting your shoulder. 

“You really need to relax, start seeing the goodness in yourself; we are all stardust after all!”


	17. Space-Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siebren and you hang out for a little bit

You and Siebren went inside the dorm, seeing that it’s empty. Mako and James are probably still in class or left to get something to eat. You went over to Lucio’s room and got on your bed, letting Siebren in to hang out with you. He sat next to you on the edge of your bed, giving you a bit of space. You yawned, crawling up to lay down on your bed sideways. Siebren continues to look at you with endearment, remembering your sleeping face early in the morning. You felt so warm in his arms, strangely enough. He recalls how cold your fingertips are most of the time, or how your eyes are always peering away from him.

He didn’t notice himself laying on his back on your bed, looking up at the ceiling. You have your back on him because it’s bad for your stomach to lay on your right side, but you’re also too timid to look at him.

“Let everyone know that you are my family,” he suggested out of nowhere.

“I’m … I’m good enough to be considered family?” You look back at him curiously.

“Yes, we have a lot of common and I have no problem with it,” he assures, smiling at you.

“What though? Like uncle? Grandpa? Cousins?” you turn onto your back.

“Your choice,” he shrugs a little.

“Wait – I’m from the past and you would be younger than me, so uhh maybe just a distant cousin? I have a bunch of those,” you pointed out.

“Oh, good point,” he nodded quickly.

“Our powers are just blessings in disguise – Been cursed by the universe, maybe like how Athena cursed Medusa but it’s actually not a curse,” you try to illustrate, squinting. Siebren chuckles at your ideas.

“What other things can you do? Can you do the same thing that I can do?” you asked curiously.

“Honestly, I’m still working on it. Maybe I can do the same things you can do, but most of my abilities is based on gravity while yours is based on space,” he contemplated, his expression full of wonders.

“I time-travelled though, so why isn’t my abilities time based?” you ask, furrowing your brows together. Siebren wonders to himself, trying to find a way to articulate his answers in a way that can be understood.

“A good question: long time ago, way before the 19th century, time and space is seen as separate entities. However, Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity brought on the idea that time and space are two faces of the same coin. That’s why the term “Spacetime” have a place in astrophysics. It is a mathematical model that brings together those two concepts. It fuses the dimensions of space and time into a four-dimensional continuum,” he explained. Despite your lack of knowledge on things, you just nodded like you understood.

“What about Lena?” you asked, feeling bad from remembering what she said to you about Olivia.

“Her situation only influences the fourth dimension of time rather than all of the four-dimensional continuum. You probably have this duality of time and space in your hands – that’s what makes you so special,” he gazes at you lovingly, smiling at you.

“What about you?” you asked, not noticing the way he’s looking at you.

“Again, it’s based on gravity. Gravity … is a harness. According to how gravitational time dilation functions, time runs slower wherever gravity is strongest because the harness curves space-time. I can float because I’m not really affected by gravity. Honestly, I don’t have much of an idea with how to truly master my abilities. I only seen it as being destructive to me and … around me. I know it might cause problems sooner or later, especially with how unstable my emotional state is,” he muses, feeling unusual for not having all the answers.

You continue to lay on your back while listening to him, stretching out.

“I do wish to be some sort of mentor to you, but you seem smarter than me!” he beams, looking at you with awe.

You kept being distracted with … Nothing. Just feeling tired from lack of sleep and feeling emotionally exhausted.

“See why I am always around you? I’m fascinated with you! You really have no idea how special you are, do you?” he didn’t realize his hand reaching out to touch you, while you lay on your side obliviously.

Suddenly you two heard the front door opening, followed with loud footsteps. You lay still, frozen in place while Siebren sits up on the bed. His movement motivated you to get up too. You two sat up next to one another, hearing the footsteps getting near or distant at random.

“… Who’s been taking care of you this whole time?” he asked quietly.

You didn’t really answer him. You have this bad habit of not answering questions until they been asked numerous times, which causes people to get angry with you. The door suddenly slides open, revealing to be just Mako coming back from lunch. You flinched with how quickly he showed up, struggling to look at him. Siebren looks up at him, not sure whether to say something. Mako stares down at you two, appearing confused. He walks over to you, picking you up suddenly to hold you. Mako really missed you – too relieve to see you around. But he’s unsure on what to think about when he saw his professor being alone with you.

“… What are you doing in here?” Mako grumbles, looking down at the man.

“Don’t be alarmed -- I’m a family and friend of them,” he assures, looking back at him calmly.

Mako’s brow arches, not sure on whether to believe him. You’re not sure what to say because you forgot you’re too honest to start lying to him. You stay nuzzle on his shoulder to not look at him.

“You been taking care of them? I was informed they been lonesome this whole time,” he asked, still sitting on your bed while showing no fear towards Mako.

Mako didn’t say anything, just having his pupils dot around the room.

“I want to say thank you then, if you really were watching over them during their difficult journey,” Siebren smiled sincerely.

“…”

“I’ll be very disappointed if nobody was around to take them under their wing,” he added, still not concerned over Mako’s silence.

You suddenly squirm away from Mako, making his eyes widen in confusion. He gently lowers down to let you go, allowing you to land on your feet. You walk away from the room to go to the kitchen. You basically ran off because you don’t want any kind of confrontation to happen. Siebren and Mako kept staying in your room. Siebren finally gets up from the bed, feeling awkward to stay sitting there. Reason why Mako is suspicious of him is because he starts to connect the dots.

_“My hat's off to the architect of this fantastic destruction!”_

_“It was that tall man that I talked to yesterday.”_

_“Everyone is tall to you, you little ankle-biter.”_

_“No like … He’s taller than Mako.”_

Mako is surprised to see Siebren’s full height – he really is taller than him. Siebren is probably the tall man you were referring to, especially since he saw you speaking to him a few times. You are too scared of strangers to talk to others, especially if it’s someone important like Dr. De Kuiper.

“Very protective, I see,” he commented, standing straight. They kept standing around, staring at each-other confidently – until the door suddenly opens.

“Hey Mako! (y/n) is back!—” James busted in but stop dead on his track when he saw Dr. De Kuiper in the room with Mako. James looks at the two men in confusion, unsure on why someone as eccentric as the astrophysicist himself would be randomly in the dorms.

“Dr. De Kuiper?! What are ya doing over ‘ere?” James asks, squinting a little.

Siebren walks over to James but Mako is kind of in the way, not sure whether to push him away or wait until he moves. James made room for you when you squeeze into the room.

You quickly walk over to Siebren to grab his hand, quickly sprinting out of the room while ghosting through everyone. You got into the hallways, Siebren kind of disoriented from the traveling.

“That was Mako and James, they been taking care of me,” you panted, feeling awfully nervous.

“Ohh, they were your guardians,” he nodded slowly.

“Yeah, but Mako is very protective of me because – I don’t know, people around me always been that way towards me and it’s annoying,” you glared away, trying to push away any harsh memories.

“Alright, it is time for me to run some errands anyway. Might be too boring for you,” he shrugs, looking at his watch. He’s not really happy about it though…

“Yeah yeah! Go ahead and do what you must,” you nodded quickly.

“Okay lieveling, go and eat something okay?” he smiled, patting your head. You nodded yes, loving the pats.

“I’ll write down my number for you in case you need of my assistance,” he suggested, pulling out a pen and a tiny notebook paper to write his number down before ripping the sheet out to give it to you.

“Thank you,” you nodded, putting the paper in your pocket.

Siebren gave you one last pat before going on his way. You quickly turn to go back to the dorm room, seeing Mako and James standing in the living room.

“What the hell was that?” you exclaim, getting some of your courage in.

“Huh? Oh, I’m just confused because that guy was our professor, also he’s a big deal in all that science stuff,” James explained.

“I thought the gorilla was your professor,” you squint, never realizing that this sentence is going to be said seriously.

“Yeah, he is! Just that Harold and De Kuiper is helping with that time machine thingy,” James added.

You walk over to your room, not sure what else to say and you just feel too anxious to stick around – Until Mako came over to stop the door from closing.

“(y/n), what did I tell you about leaving without letting anyone know?” Mako asks, his voice scaring you. Only that your fear translated into anger.

“Aughh fuck off,” you growled, confusing Mako even further.

“Huh?”

“Stop treating me like a fucking child, leave the alone!” you clench your teeth, vibrating in anger.

“I’m trying to protect you—”

Mako felt his body going farther away, the door slamming shut. He didn’t do that on his accord.

“(y/n)! (y/n)!!” Mako knock on your door, getting frustrated himself. James pulled Mako away, although he struggled to.

“Leave them alone, they need their space too you know,” James grab Mako and pulls him towards the sofa.

“Why did they react like that?” Mako asks, confused and a bit angry.

“Didn’t you hear them? They don’t like being treated like a child,” James pointed out.

“But I’m not,” Mako grumbles.

“I mean you are doing a bunch of stuff parents do, like dotting over them or lecturing,” James shrug, looking at him in confusion.

“Why was that man alone in that room with them?” Mako asks in annoyance.

“I don’t know, but they seem trusting of him,” James look around, also not knowing the answer to that.

“James, that man is taller than me and knows about them.”

“Okay.”

“Remember that building that got obliterated?”

“Yeah, pretty neat.”

“What if it was him? If he can do that, who knows what else he can do?” Mako explained in annoyance.

“I would like him more honestly, what a guy!” James perk up.

“Ughh idiot – he might be dangerous, and you seem to forget that he might know about their time-travelling,” Mako explains further.

“Maybe he can help them? But I want them to stay though …” James pondered worryingly.

“Worse; he might make them into a guinea pig for their machine,” Mako stated, expressing his actual concern.

“A guinea pig? But that’s not ethical! Also, the university is very strict about it – remember how they got up all on Moira’s business because of her experiments? Moira would be the one you should worry about that, not really the professors,” James countered.

“James, they were colleagues.”

“Huh?”

“They worked together, so who knows if his idea of ethics is just as twisted as hers?” Mako pointed out.

“But Winston and Harold are also sure about being ethical and they also work with him – Mako, if he was the tall man that’s been talking to (y/n) this whole time, wouldn’t he have told everyone about them by now? They are still going to class; they are still around. They would have quarantined them a long time ago if he told the higher ups about them,” James discuss, trying to make Mako be less worried for you.

“I don’t trust him, James,” Mako admitted.

“Or you’re just overprotective. Relax, big guy! Just give them space because they already must deal with having weird parents and having to live a new life,” James smiled sadly, patting Mako’s back.

“Please don’t say those things to them, it’s going to stress them out like how Lena did,” James warned.

Mako quickly understood what he meant. Does he want you to be cautious or feel free to do what you want? He didn’t mean to anger you, he’s just worried because he missed seeing you. Mako didn’t want to bother you when you’re not feeling happy, so he gave you space. He felt awful for making you angry. James and Mako sat on the living room, watching the TV so they can take their mind off the incident. It’s been hours … Until you finally got out of your room, although feeling gross because you thought you made him angry and is expecting him to stop being friends with you. Mako quickly looks towards you, scaring you. You were preparing to get angry to defend yourself when he suddenly got up and walk towards you. Your angry eyes start to scare him –

“I’m sorry!” he blurted out, although embarrassingly.

You falter a little, not sure how to react.

“… Aren’t you going to scold me? Why are you apologizing?” you asked, still awfully nervous.

“I was too overprotective of you, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Mako explained shyly, having a hard time looking at you in the eyes this time.

“Uh…” you were confused. Mostly because everyone around you either file any incident away to yell at you about it later or continue to see no fault in their actions. Plus, you hate yourself; you think you are always the problem.

“… I’m sorry for reacting that way,” you apologized as well since you could have talked about your issues calmly. You just see Mako’s patience as a blessing that might not last long.

“It’s okay, you’re just fed up,” Mako finally looks at you, although still timidly.

“But I could have stop being such a coward and actually talk to you – I was just being scared,” you try to explain the source of your anger.

“It’s nothing, don’t think about it,” Mako shook his head, picking you up to hold you in his arms. He felt so relieve when he felt your arms wrapping around his neck, feeling you shiver a little. He then noticed you start to cry.

“What’s wrong?” Mako asks softly, worried that maybe he did something.

“You’re so nice… I don’t deserve it,” you hiccup out, too scared to test him any further.

Mako hugs you close, James gingerly trying to join in the hug by putting his arms around Mako’s tummy. The thoughts are still terrorizing you, thinking there is still a chance that he will get tired of your behavior and abandon you. You kept crying while holding close, so scared … So so scared of getting hurt again. The same way. Over and over again.


	18. Productivity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spent your Wednesday and Thursday doing productive stuff. It's boring but at least you did something instead of sleeping all day

You can never talk about your issues with anyone because they would always react maliciously, their faces deforming into angry sneers. You understand that for you, hatred is synonymous with fear. You know people are going to get tired of you. They will abandon you. They will hurt you. They will use you, throw all their frustrations at you, and you will not see the fault in them. You are the perfect victim. Someone too stubborn to look at themselves as a victim out of pride and fear. The worst people you know are the ones that self-victimize, so you rather not become one of them. You hate people that refuse to see the wickedness in themselves. You know that people can be horrible, but you’re not sure if it’s just you being selfish or not. Again, you are always thinking you are the problem.

You just realize you forgot your medication that day. Also, you haven’t ate because you were too nervous to. You sat with Mako and James to watch that conspiracy show they always watch, trying to get distracted from your nervous mind. It’s a vicious cycle; you’re too scared to relax because it will make you selfish. You’re afraid that someone is nice to you because they are a pushover, therefore making you most likely the bad guy. You’re always used to being punished harshly for any mistakes, so it feels … Alarming when you are not getting scolded or something. It means the consequences is going to come later tenfold. You feel bad for Zenyatta because he must sit there and hear only a sprinkle of your problems. It’s more than the failed relationships as of recently; it’s something that was stuck to you throughout your life based on people’s behavior towards you. You feel like you’re the villain rather than the victim. It’s a huge problem, but it’s hard to get rid of a habit you had for years.

You got too sleepy; your body too exhausted from being stressed out for so long. You remember how you are tired after you finally confronted that … that man. For being a fuckboi. You were in a classroom waiting for your last final. You came home, feeling those dark thoughts coming in like away. You been feeling like you are the bad friend for not accepting his problematic behavior.

Your eyes gently open, slowly realizing you’re back in your room. You woke up early and you manage to remember the medication this time. You put a reminder on your phone, so you don’t forget next time. You got the pill, quickly reaching your hand out to get – a breakfast bagel sandwich. Then the cinnamon roll coffee and hashbrown. You quickly ate your breakfast while watching videos then checking the email. You missed the tasty hashbrows. You’re feeling happy, getting another hashbrown to snack on while checking your laptop. You quickly finish everything, including the coffee. Lucio didn’t wake up yet. Yummy foods tend to cheer you up, despite your bad habit on accidentally starving yourself or losing appetite from stress.

Mako was the one that tuck you in bed before he goes to sleep as well. He woke up half an hour later after you, quickly starting to forget what he dreamt about. He felt some kind of discomfort on his crotch. He turns to his side, waiting until it’s 7:30 AM …

He heard weird, small footsteps rapidly getting close – only to hear a few patters behind him. He opens his eyes a little, confused about what that noise was. He flinches a little when he saw a figure in the darkness but quickly realize it was just you. He relaxed, closing his eyes again. You carefully got on his tummy, looking at him.

“… You’re alright?” he grumbles softly, still laying on his back while you’re on him.

“Needed to say good morning to you two before I leave,” you said, patting Mako’s tummy softly.

“It’s too early …” Mako squint, putting his arm over his face.

Really hoping you don’t see what’s wrong with him.

You carefully got on top of Mako, not really sure what you are doing. Maybe just hyper from the coffee. You felt confident now – actually no, heck – You slip a little, Mako seemingly not concerned. You try to turn around to get off him but then you slid again, sliding down towards Mako’s head. Mako gave out muffled yelps when you sat on his face. You freaked out in embarrassment, Mako managing to get his arms out to pick you up a little. You float away from him, although a bit roughly up before you slide the other way around. You slap yourself face-first on the space between his legs. You hurt your nose a little, your butt up in the air while you stay there limp. Mako panted, really surprised to feel you against his face. He blushed harder when he saw your position after lifting his head up a little. He slams his head back on the pillow, covering his face up with both his large hands.

“Ughhh you are so weird,” he groans, not sure how to react at this point. He’ll be surprised if you really didn’t notice anything.

You got enough strength to crawl away from him, struggling to get back out of his space. You manage to, going back to standing next to Mako.

“I’m here to say good morning so you don’t get sad or whatever,” you beamed, feeling your shyness creeping back again.

“I won’t augh…. Good morning” he mumbled, really hoping you don’t see what’s under the covers.

You sprint away from the room, going back in yours to pack your stuff up. Mako sighs, relieve that you didn’t notice anything wrong with him. Your dumb stunt only made the situation worse. Long story short, he woke up with a morning erection. He forgot what he was dreaming in case that’s what prompt it to happen, but he didn’t recall anything. Feeling and seeing your soft buttcheeks made him harder, definitely not making it go away. Mako grumbled, still rubbing his face…. Maybe he needs a cold shower. That usually help.

* * *

You went with Lucio to journalism, but it’s going to be boring for the rest of the week. Now it is mostly people doing extra b-rolls or post-production. You spent time with Olivia in there, watching her work alongside an omnic named Lynx. You two only talked about majors and hobbies. Suddenly you two turn to see Professor Glitchbot coming along – only he wanted to talk to you. You gingerly got up from the chair next to Olivia to talk to him.

“A colleague of mine is in need of assistance – Thespion 2.0 needed help with making videos and I think you’re experience enough to do so,” he explained.

“When do they need the help?” you asked.

“Tomorrow Thursday, I’ll excuse you from class if you want to start early enough,” Glitchbot nodded.

“Oh okay,” you nodded back, relieve that it’s not on Friday.

“Here is his business card, let them know that you are available; they will tell you where to meet them,” he explained, giving you the card.

You quickly added the number and email to your contact, remembering immediately to also add Siebren’s contact, feeling yourself cringe remembering what happened yesterday. Speak of the devil, you left early in class since you don’t have much to do only to run onto Siebren. He was looking through his tablet when he quickly notices you, his eyes dilating. Siebren quickly puts his tablet away and picks you up, swinging you side to side as he squeezes you in a hug.

“Lieveling …” he purred softly, petting your head. Students walked past and saw you two, kind of confused but find it funny to see Siebren being so affectionate. Siebren place you back on the floor, letting you compose yourself.

“I wasn’t in trouble,” you squinted.

“For what? You didn’t do anything … Oh! Here, I got you something,” he smiled excitedly, going through his jacket to pull out more stroopwafels in white paper bags. He presents it to you happily.

“Thank you, sir,” you nodded softly, accepting his gift.

“No problem, I’m glad I can see you before class – Have to be there for Harold,” he explained.

“Go!” you push him away, trying to make him leave you.

“Hahaha, alright alright! I’ll see you later, lieveling,” Siebren laughed a little, going on his way to class. You walk over to the hallways to get some food. Lucio catch up to you, but you let him hang out with you, having small talk.

“What’s with you and Siebren?” Lucio asked curiously.

“He’s family,” you said quickly.

“What kind of family?”

“It’s weird … Something about second cousins or first cousins – don’t know. Family is too big,” you try to be convincing.

“Yeah, some families can be massive,” Lucio nodded in agreement, making you feel relieved that he believed that.

“He didn’t make me cheat my way into campus though, I came over here on my own accord because people saw my self-worth – I guess. At least I hope so,” you added, bringing in authenticity.

“Don’t worry, I’m not assuming that!” Lucio smiled kindly, patting your back.

You two walked back to the dorms before lunch time, Lucio getting busy on checking everything out for his next show. You sat on your bed and quickly let Thespion 2.0 know about your interest in helping them out for their project. He didn’t respond immediately though. You lay down to watch videos, already fixed on getting pizza for lunch … Maybe garlic bread too. With marinara sauce. And a soda. Yeah. Splurging. That’s what you ended up doing. You don’t remember the last time you ever made yourself full, but you’re feeling relaxed as you ate and watched videos. You were alone most of the day, but you’re happy to have alone time since you get agitated if not given space.

* * *

You are on your way to downtown to get to a specific building, followed along by Lucio. He’s helping you find your way to the location. Thespion answered your messages yesterday evening, telling you all the details and what to bring. You manage to get good lights and checked that it’s not missing anything since you had experience of lights having missing parts. This isn’t the first time being asked to do something like this, but you cherish any opportunity to be useful. This is also to test if you can do what Lucio wants you to do on Friday – which is tomorrow. You let Mako know what was up, so he doesn’t get worried or whatever. He’s feeling much better knowing you’re not by yourself. Lucio skated his way over while you follow suit, flying a few feet above him. You two made it to the building; a skyscraper specifically. Reminded you of the fancy ones back home. You got in the building with Lucio, walking on the carpeted floors and going to the elevators. They are going to be on floor 17. You and Lucio manage to find the room and slowly got inside. You saw an Omnic sitting around in a small living room. You quickly got to work and pull out the lights and other equipment, even getting your own camera. Lucio helped you set up the lights while you fix the tripod. You checked your camera’s aperture, white balance, and shutter speed. Turns out that the lonely person in the room is Thespion 2.0, just waiting for the music producers and rapper to come along. He’s impressed with how quickly you start to work and is welcoming of Lucio.

“Yeah I heard about you, you doing alright? Still grinding?” Thespion 2.0 asked, sitting calmly.

“Sure am! Just trying to get by as a student,” Lucio nodded along, smiling as bright as he always does.

After more camera operators came by, a mix of omnics and humans, everyone is instructed on what to do. The two Omnic music producers came along later while the rapper comes eventually after they set up everything. They were decent people that wanted to focus on inclusivity, these music people. One of them had a boyfriend visit them, being awfully affectionate towards him. You are terrible with names, so you didn’t know the names of the producers nor the rapper working with them. Few people that are higher ups comes in but only stick around in their office while the producers stay on the studio. At some point, it starts to smell weird. It smells like a weird plant, like that smell you get when passing by the gardens of Discovery Green park. That annoying plant smell. You don’t know if it’s the plant or some kind of pesticide/fertilizer. But it smells like plants. Except it’s off.

You kept recording, staying in one corner to have a better view at the two producers working on the sounds on their computer and keyboard. Lucio look on curiously, nodding along to the two guys conversing to one another. You felt at ease, finally focused on doing something and not being bored with it. Lucio talked to the producers a few times, interested in what they have to say.

“My head hurts,” one camera operator commented, still focused on recording. They took breaks a few times, either to talk about what to record or what to do. Some folks either used a tripod or free hand.

It’s already midnight, the air a bit crispier. The production team talked about going to dinner, so you and Lucio agreed on it. You felt like going out anyway and you’re with a friend… Also, you decided to help get their other heavy equipment. Your head was hurting a little though. You thought that maybe it’s because you’re tired, but you still feel motivated to be around. While you and Lucio walk along with the group to their van, you suddenly realize what happened.

… This whole time they were being hot boxed. No wonder folks are getting a headache. The Omnic folks are not affected at all by it though since they are not biologically capable. You don’t know if you feel high or is it even possible to through second-hand.

“… Lucio this is weed,” you realized.

“Huh?” Lucio turns to you.

“Mary Jane. I saw this weird weed thing in an orange container.”

“Mary Jane.”

“Marijuana”

“Oh, it’s been legalized decades ago, you didn’t know?”

“… Nope.”

“No wonder my head hurts – where I work at is smoke-free for people suffering with asthma or to avoid second-hand smoking,” Lucio explained.

“Hey, your head doing okay? Mine kind of hurts too,” you reach over to a woman, who’s helping out by being a camera operator.

“Kind of? Yeah, why everyone’s head start hurting?” she wondered, slowing down a little for you.

“They were smoking weed,” you revealed to everyone.  
The group nodded along, understanding that it’s probably what’s causing the problem. You have nothing against marijuana but like Lucio said, there are folks sensitive to smoke and it should be high quality. Cheaper stuff is most likely laced with something unfortunately, making it easier to get in the first place.

You two end up going to a restaurant. The Omnics didn’t eat but they invited everyone over just to hang out while the humans can eat. You ate a good flatbread, despite being reluctant. You suggested on paying your meal, but Thespion 2.0 waved his hand to tell you it’s not necessary. Lucio just ate pasta with you.

You and Lucio said their goodbyes after dinner, going back home. You feel happy out of being productive. You’re willing to help some more at some point, which you will on Friday. At least you can make use of your existence in some way.


	19. Jinxing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was stuck on the last chapter but writing this one helped. Alot of sadness but comfort in this chapter. Hopefully the stuff I'm writing is helping you all understand your problems or give you an outlet. Thank you for the kudos
> 
> Sorry if there is any misinformation about Autism. My personal experience living with high-functioning is the only source I have at this point. Please let me know if there is anything to add. Maybe it will not only help me but help others in the spectrum. Oh yeah speaking of which, there is an r-slur on here to express extreme self-hate. Be careful

“… I don’t know where to start because there is too much wrong with me,” you shrug, your eyes dotting around the room.

“It’s okay to start small,” Zenyatta assures.

You’re back with Zenyatta for therapy. You’re not sure what to talk about beside … Maybe add more information about that whole drama with Claudius and his crazy ex and his stupid pushover friends. You felt bad talking about them, but it’s not like Zenyatta knows about them personally. Eventually you got tired, not sure what to talk about in terms of your own issues instead of your issues with others.

“How about … What is your favorite memory?” he suggested in a soft robotic tone.

“I don’t think I have one,” you blinked. You can’t think off the top of your head a time you felt happy. You thought that maybe you did, like the times you went to the waterpark with your family or going to the movies with your friends in person or going to Halloween parties … But you don’t feel anything. You don’t remember anything positive that makes you calm down, especially since those people ….

“Why so?”

“Don’t know.”

“You sure you didn’t have any friends?”

“Either got distant or got angry at me.”

“Angry at you for what?”

“For being myself.”

“What is yourself? What do you see yourself as?”

“Waste of space, at least to others. Waste resources and waste space.”

“You’re not very fond of yourself.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Always causes problems, and nobody seems to like me anyway. Therefore, I’m unlikable,” you look around unfazed.

“What about Mako and James? I couldn’t help but notice how they fawn over you,” Zenyatta pointed out curiously.

“… They are going to abandon me sooner or later – nothing lasts,” you shrug.

“So that’s the problem”

“Hauh?”

“You’re very negative,”

“Sir, I know what my problems are. I can’t expect you to fix all my issues. It’s something that I need to fix on my own except I’m too dumb, not sure where to start.”

“You kept doing that thing.”

“What thing?”

“You call yourself dumb. Many times. When you’re actually bright.”

_(y/n), you are an intelligent, smart, girl …_

You stare into space.

_You put yourself in the line of fire for that man – let sleeping dogs lie_

_Let sleeping dogs lie_

_You only left the group because you know you’re going to get kicked. It’s like someone quitting before getting fired._

_Let sleeping dogs lie_

_Let sleeping dogs lie_

**_Let sleeping dogs lie_ **

“(y/n)?”

You were clenching your teeth, sitting on your chair stiffed.

“… I rather hate myself than become the thing I hate the most,”

“What is it that you despise so much?”

“Self-righteousness. People are too egotistical to see themselves as the villain. They would self-victimize, put others down, vilify others … People like that not only hurt me but the people around me. I hate people that can’t recognize their own mistakes. I been hurt by people like that … My parents are like that,” you explained, still clenching your teeth slightly.

“Ah”

“Either people are too proud of being pieces of sh--- garbage, or too self-righteous to see themselves as the abuser.”

Zenyatta nods slowly.

“I rather continue recognizing every little mistake I make instead of becoming like them.”

“Your fear is to be as bad as the people that hurt you.”

“Yes. Exactly.”

“Of course you are not as bad as they are; you learn from their mistakes and even rebuke them for it.”

“uh…”

“I specifically remember how you are afraid to be a parent because you don’t want to treat them like you have been treated, but I know you would not. You must believe in yourself, love yourself more. I understand that it’s easier said than done but we can work on it,” Zenyatta assures.

“…” your eyes dot around the floor.

“Anything else?”

“I feel like it’s my fault I lose contact with friends because I’m too lazy to ever talk to anyone. I would stay by myself for an extended amounts of time because I feel safer that way.”

“Define lazy”

“Like I don’t feel motivated to talk. Like never. Sometimes I do but it’s always when they are not available, so I just give up.”

“Have you ever put effort before?”

“Yes but it backfired because _they_ didn’t put the same effort. So I’m even less likely to put any effort on anyone. Always have this problem with not feeling like talking to people.”

“Interesting … Didn’t you mention speech therapy?”

“Maybe, why?”

“Why were you placed on there?”

“Apparently I have a speech delay, thing? Situation? I didn’t talk to anyone until I’m around 8 or 9 when I thought I did”

“Ahh okay.”

“I thought I remember talking to my mom when I was younger but supposedly, I never did. I was always a quiet kid because nothing interests me. I wasn’t interested in friendships because I don’t see anything interesting in my peers. They are all kids to me. I was shy but it wasn’t like that in the beginning. I was quiet back then because I didn’t see the point.”

“You can’t relate to others and you had delay in speech?”

“Yes”

“Classic symptoms of autism. You see, autism comes in many shapes and sizes. A spectrum is like a rainbow. What you’re dealing with is the inability to relate to others. You don’t understand others. You can still empathize because I feel like you’re more of an empath, but you don’t really look at yourself as part of everyone. You feel separated.”

“Doesn’t that make me egotistical?”

“Of course not, it’s part of living with autism.”

“Does that mean I don’t actually have anxiety? It’s just me being autistic?”

“I cannot conclude that since it be many reasons you have GAD, such as genetics or your environment. Autism can be a reason for it but it’s not easy to pinpoint. Remember when I talked about how loneliness can cause significant damage to your health?”

“I saw a video about it but yeah, I heard you”

“Try to spend time with people. I know people are busy in your life, but they would make the time if they loved you enough. Isolating yourself will only worsen your health.”

“I went to a mall last weekend though, is that what you mean or just … Talking to them? I don’t know what it means to hang out because I’m constantly bored.”

“That’s good! Spend time going out or just saying hello. Nothing is too big or small. Any interaction is enough.”

“Why am I bored all the time? Is something wrong with me?”

“I’m sure you just didn’t find the right people, and you will. About Mako and James – please have faith in them. They really do care for you. I know you been hurt many times by people you thought you trusted, but I promise you that it doesn’t have to be that way,” Zenyatta reassures.

“… Okay.”

“You can also open up to them, have you tried that?”

“Last time I did that, the dumbass took it personally ... Geila I mean.”

Geila is t=your ex best-friend and the obsessive ex of Claudius.

“I’m sure they will understand. Not everyone is going to react negatively. I’m sorry you have to experience that.”

“She needs to apologize; not just to me but to her dumbass boyfriend. You didn’t do anything.”

“I promise you. Go and open up to them once in a while. Friendship isn’t always about being happy, it’s about being together through the good and bad. During the hardest times, it is a great opportunity for your friends to love you.”

* * *

You two talked more, specifically about what Autistic symptoms you have and your anxiety levels since you start taking your medications. You came out of the room, drying out your tears from having to explore too much of your emotions. You stood there, feeling empty. You didn’t notice James walking over, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“You good, mate?” James asks softly.

You just nodded. You two start walking back to the dorms, going outside of the building to feel the humidity and the sounds of crickets. The lights that are placed along the sidewalks are on for the evening. James walked slower than usual, letting you catch up to him easily.

“… At first it was because I didn’t trust that bot but uhh… I been eavesdropping this whole time,” James admitted, eyes dotting up nervously

You kept walking next to him, seemingly not reacting to his confession.

“Are you angry at me?” James asks, albeit quietly.

“At least I don’t have to explain my pathetic story over and over again, so it’s fine,” you shrug.

“Sorry for not taking you seriously in the beginning… I feel like I was joking around too much,” he apologized, feeling guilty from not really seeing your issues. He only made the realization when he was walking you back from the drugstore.

_“I feel guilty being alive because I kept wasting resources already,”_

Then he kept seeing more warning signs, hearing more subtle hints of how you do not seem to value your life all that much. You don’t have any interest in not only people but neither in life itself. What makes you panic isn’t death itself, but the concept of eternity. You don’t understand. You just want something to happen. To end. Things to only be linear and simple. Make it end soon. Make it end NOW.

That’s why James suddenly mature enough to be careful around you, even having to explain to Mako how being overprotective only makes you nervous. Why? Because your parents were like that to you. They made you have more difficulty in relating to others because they don’t see value in friendships either. They don’t value trust. They don’t even trust each other. In fact, he heard about how your father cheating on your mother. How your mother constantly blames herself for being foolish enough to trust someone. Foolish enough to believe in her older brother that helped her move to a big city at a young age only for that brother to call her horrible things. No one can be trusted, not even family. All you saw is loneliness and distrust throughout your life. Then the pieces of shits that have hurt you only made things worse, proving your parent’s philosophy of how there is no such thing as trust or friendship. It’s all bullshit.

You never made friends at first because you didn’t see the point. Now you are less likely to because you don’t want to go through anymore drama like that again. Like what happened to that man. Turns out the man was an Aussie as well. Not a good look. Claudius was that man’s name. You freaked out when you saw Mako because he reminded you of that man; he was a tall, large Aussie man. You’re scared to come across someone else like that again. You’re afraid that he will hurt you, betray you, use you, like that man did. Sounds like a man that needs to be blown up.

You both manage to get back at the dorms, James closing the front door quickly to keep the mosquitoes away. You were going to walk over to your room when James took hold of your hand once more.

“… Does my Australian accent scare you?” he asks suddenly, looking straight at you with his amber eyes.

“… I’m scared at the fact that it calms me down for some reason,” you admitted, trying to open up like Zenyatta advised.

“So, the man was a nice guy? How manipulative of him,” James nodded slowly, musing to himself mostly.

“Huh?”

“Claudius. The Aussie,”

You look at James with the most terrified look on your face.

“I can look for him and strap a bomb at him if you want. I’m cool with going back home to cause some mayhem,” James grinned innocently.

“No. My fault. I let him hurt me because I was a dumbass,” you shook your head, mumbling a bit.

“Don’t say that! He shouldn’t be such a fuckboy in the first place if he didn’t want to hurt people, is he that stupid?!” James exclaimed, trying to defend you.

“It’s MY FAULT! It’s my fault, James! If I wasn’t a desperate whore, I would have never been in that situation – but guess what? I was stupid enough to BE IN THAT SITUATION. I FUCKED UP!” you castigated yourself, like you always do.

James suddenly grab your shoulders, squinting his eyes shut with his head low.

“Don’t call yourself that – you’re talking about my friend there,” he murmured.

“Fuck off, who wants a retard for a friend?” you stutter out angrily. His grip on your arms twitched. You didn’t look up to see his face, scared that he’s going to yell at you like … Like ….

“… You just wanted love, just forgive yourself. You could have been like that girl that’s stupidly inlove with him, that Geila Sheila whatevah?... maybe be just as much of a dipstick as that guy, but you didn’t. You instead found out what you truly been wishing this whole time; love,” James smiled sadly at you.

“I … I can’t depend on people, I must be alone, I must …” you whimpered, feeling the overwhelming feeling of denial and guilt. James suddenly wraps you in a tight hug. You can’t really smell him because your nose got clogged with mucus and tears. You start bawling in his arms.

“You will find a spouse one day – you’re not going to be your mother, you’re not going to be your father, you will be you,” he assures, rubbing your back.

Suddenly you two felt two large arms wrap around. Looking up a little, you see Mako join in the comfort. For the first time in your life, the first time ever in person … You felt like you were part of something. These strange, tall humans … They never showed you anger nor remorse towards your pathetic self. They were strangely loving to you. Like brothers. Like what family should have been. Family isn’t about being manipulative. Family isn’t about distrust. You were so scared to let go of your fears, fearing that you will jinx it….

Only you did.

Your tears no longer are tears of a bottle leaking itself from being shut tight to the brim, but tears of freedom. You understood and experienced something you always wanted to experience; love and friendship. You even remember what your happy memories are except – most of them was in your dreams. You always dreamt of having this moment. The time you spent with these humans is your happy memories.


	20. Junkrat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamison Fawkes's monologue to you
> 
> This is an intermission thingy idk

My thin, lanky body reeks of smoke. I walked among the ruins, having no memories of what it previously was. I just knew that I lost myself. Not just my home, but Jamison Fawkes disappeared. I don’t know where this person went. I kept collecting these dirty pieces of metal and scrap, allowing the radiation seep through me. One moment, I was a young man that was just minding his business. Don’t know what happened between then and now.

What’s so scary about being insane? Is it better that you don’t have any idea what you are doing or worse; you watch yourself do unpredictable things, like destroying your own limb in the middle of some science project? Imagine if you do other unspeakable things. Like murder. You must watch your body walk around on its own, like some twisted puppet show, doing the things you don’t usually do. The society I used to be in is already cold, too broken from it. I didn’t think about it. I wasn’t there mentally in my head. It was violent, hot, uncomfortable, dry …

I don’t remember how my life was before then. I know that I had an apartment or something. At least I was normal by societal standards. And healthy.

I also don’t recall the time Mako and I was saved. I’m sure it was violent. Nobody wants to be saved. They were too angry to. Or too mad to. They only want revenge instead of healing, at least I know I did. I wanted to cause destruction as a way to cope with what happened. To avenge myself. It’s been years. I lost track.

“You’re a liar, you even lie to yourself,” Mako said. I think I understood. He meant that I have no idea, just delirious. I thought I am the most violent criminal ever, the wickedest. I steal, kill, lie, cheat, and destroy. Wouldn’t that be correct? People lie because they don’t know. They lie because they don’t know who they are or what is going on. I feel weird when I got some of my sanity back. I’m not sure whether to feel guilty for the things I did or move on. Should I just be punished? But they didn’t. The people that caught up to me should have put me or Mako in jail, but they didn’t. They just brought us in to a prestigious university that actually have military and scientific connections. Instead of punishing, they just rehabilitate us. I don’t remember most of the rehabilitation. I didn’t even wake up one day. It’s like trying to remember stuff from before you were 4 or five years old. That’s how it feels. Like I can see images and smell the smoke, but I don’t know the context. It’s just a bunch of chopped-up memories like a messed-up collage.

It’s hauntingly spiritual, seeing into your eyes in those rare moments. Something about you makes me feel sane. Saner than usual, at least. It feels nice hugging you.

I stared into that person’s eyes and saw how deep, how dilated, how complex their darkness is. Maybe I been through worse, but it scares me. It scares me that it doesn’t matter how “perfect” your life is, misery will find a way to get you. The darkness doesn’t care how rich, what skin color, what place, time, age … There is no competition. You can have the most perfect life and the arms of unhappiness will still trap you in its grasp.

At that moment, I remember something important that I need to swallow whole; I will still suffer, whether the explosion happened or not. Maybe it’s less bad, but it hurts … You understand? Then why do you hate yourself? I committed actual crimes and hurt people, yet I moved on and became someone relatively … stable. Still a bit crazy but stable. But you are acting like you did the stuff I did while being aware of it. If I can get away from such a life and be forgiven for it, then why couldn’t you forgive yourself? But I can’t just be mean to you about it. I love you a bunch. These memories I had with you is the clearest. Being mean to myself would only worsen my condition. It’s scaring me when I knew exactly what’s going on. I had two choices; move on or wallow in guilt. I choose to move on because I accepted the things I can’t change. They decided that punishment isn’t the answer. Anger isn’t the answer.

The one thing I learn throughout this weird journey of Jamison Fawkes the first is that love is the answer. Just as these misfits and higher ups helped me recover from the disaster, I wish to be just as helpful to you.

Please remember, little one, that love is what you’re missing from your life. I hope to see you smile more so, why so serious? Why so hurtful to yourself?


	21. Being at the Club Listening to Lil Jon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was busy developing the plot and stuff, but I got stuck on this chapter until I suddenly remember that you were supposed to help Lucio with his clubbing. I'm glad I can connect the dots somehow. Thank you all for the comments and kudos.

It was a cool evening, the second night of October. You like how cold the weather is getting. You follow along with Lucio as you two go to a storage unit. Lucio don’t have any space for the stuff he uses for his job, so he would store it in ... the storage unit.

You two reach to the place, lined with blue garage stores only that you heard the commotion getting louder as you two get nearer to the place. Lucio and you look at one another with a confused stare, feeling like something is not right. You two ran up to the storage unit. As you two got nearer, you notice that the alarm is on while people are running past you two. You saw a few people in uniforms but you quickly notice glowing skeletons running past you two, a few roughly pushing you two off the way. You got close to Lucio, kind of protecting him while you two near the place. Lucio looks around carefully but then you two immediately decided at the last minute to go away. You have this feeling that you should stay away from that place. You two kept saying “no” and “nope” to one another, quickly running away from the place to go farther away from the commotion. When you two ran to a train station, you quickly got on there to get even farther away.

“I think we need to cancel the show …” Lucio stated in a solemn tone, panting out on the train seat.

“What? No, screw that!” you whip around, sitting next to him

“But my equipment was in there, how will the show happen?” he furrows his brows in doubt.

“Lucio, I can pull things out of thin air. I can pull whatever you want, just give me an imagery or something if you want to help,” you explained, not sounding nervous at all while you look at his sad face.

“O-oh … I thought you can only pull out stuff you stored in,” Lucio turns to you, lifting his chin up.

“I can pull random stuff up. I pull out a cupcake package out of nowhere, you didn’t see it on the fridge?” you pointed out.

“I think Mako ate it at some point because I saw this plastic package in the trash,” Lucio smiled a little.

“Come on, I’m feeling confident right now,” you assured, patting your chest.

“Okay, I trust you,” Lucio nodded, his shoulders rising slightly from slumping.

“Yeah, just give me a list of stuff to pull off,” you nodded along.

* * *

“Who … are they?” the guard pointed at you.

“My assistant, no worries,” Lucio wave his hand in assurance.

Lucio helped you get an idea on what equipment he used. You pull the equipment out with ease, placing it on the platform he will be performing on. The hardest part is pulling out the DJ controller for Lucio – but then you didn’t notice you are using telekinesis to lift it up. You didn’t investigate any further, continuing to pull out for equipment until Lucio got everything he needs. You two and a few employees at the club helped set the last things up. The gaffer and lightning technicians deal with the complicated stuff since you two didn’t work with large lights or must climb up to do so. You got your noise cancelling headphones, so you don’t freak out from the loudness. You lay on the platform floor, feeling the rough carpet texture while you check your ability to sleep through the whole event.

“You can leave and come back when the show is over,” Lucio assures, kind of worried you’re not into partying a lot. Also he just remembered you might be sensitive to sounds because of your autism.

“I’ll – I’ll be okay, I’ll be around in case something goes wrong,” you wave your hand in a swooshing motion, still laying on your back.

“Do you mind the loud music?”

“Balloons are my biggest concern for now.”

“Balloons?”

“They pop out of nowhere!”

“Oh okay, but yeah feel free to leave whenever you want,” Lucio assures, tapping your front left shoulder slightly before straitening himself.

“Should they be there or uhh” one of the employees asked Lucio, who was some random tall guy.

“No no, leave them be – they work for me,” Lucio assures the guard.

It was really boring having to wait until the party started, but it eventually did. The people in the club are happy to see Lucio.

“YALL READY FOR THIS?!” Lucio yelled at the people on the dancefloor.

The party officially started, everyone’s hands up the air while Lucio kept hyping people up. You feel the beat ring through the building. You stay laying on the platform over on the far left, nobody appearing to notice you. You close your eyes since you knew you can sleep through anything, especially since you fell asleep in the bus listening to heavy metal. You can feel your body relaxing, feeling the beat lull you to sleep …

**SHAWTY HAVE THEM APPLE BOTTOM JEANS---!!**

“Wait I thought this is old—WH” your head quickly snap up, your brows furrow above your wide eyes. You were hella confused because you quickly recognize the song from the first few seconds.

Everyone quickly went wild, making you flinch up in the platform. The dancers kept dancing and jumping to the beat, loving this song that went out when you were 7 years old. It blew you mind that the song is still lit 70 years later. The creators must still be rich from that one song… If they were still alive. You don’t know the name of the song but you only remember “apple bottom jeans boots with the fur” lyrics. Everyone in your time heard the song so it’s easily recognizable. You thought that’s going to be the only song from that era … Until Lucio transitions to Usher and Lil Jon. You were getting punched by nostalgia, making you get up from the platform to go to the crowd. You brace yourself before you swung yourself off the platform to fly across. You landed on the loneliest spot, being careful not to trip. You brace yourself as you got near the crowd. You knew quickly that Lucio is playing classics from your time for today along with his own music.

**“TO THE WINDOOOOOOW”**

“TO THE WALL!!” you yelled out with your hands up along with everyone.

**“TILL THE SWEAT DROP DOWN MY BALLS!!”**

You felt hands on your shoulders, freaking you out a little until you look up to see James shaking you from behind.

“SKEET SKEET MOTHERFUCKER!!” James kept singing along, smiling down at you with the dumbest grin.

Your whole face beamed with happiness, happy to see James showing up. You quickly squeeze his skinny spine in a hug, James hugging you back.

“I CAN’T HEAR,” you exclaimed, pointing at your muffled ears.

“NICE HEADPHONES!” James yelled back, grinning ear to ear.

You don’t think he understood. He made a weird slow movement in front of you, but you immediately start screaming when he starts doing the _floss dance._

“N O o OO O!” you yelled out, starting to cackle in disbelief.

James kept smiling happily to you, still doing that stupid fortnite dance people in your time grew to hate with a burning passion. Your cousin loved the game, but you didn’t like how people jump the bandwagon on hating anything that’s popular. You think it’s sheepish and stupid because cringe culture usually leads to children getting bullied unnecessarily, specifically children like your cousin. You wonder if he has a family or is now a grandpa at this point. He’s younger than you so you hope he did live a fulfilling life – like hopefully he’s alive and well right now.

“WHY ARE YOU DOING IT TOO AGGRESSIVELY??!” you kept yelling, holding your stomach while laughing. James giggles along, couldn’t hold a straight face anymore before he starts smiling wildly. He did a weird arm movement before he stops. But then he hops up to start dancing again, doing that Fresh Prince of Bel Air dance Will Smith did. You were confused because … Wasn’t that show hella old at this point?? It’s old for your time as well. You try to move along, having some difficulty remembering the Carlton dance. You got a hang of it, laughing along with James when he grabs his leg to keep dancing.

James suddenly slowed down, his eyes peering up. You freaked out a little as you turn around, thinking he must have spotted something serious … Only to see he was just staring at Mei. She’s a few meters away from you two, dancing along with her friends. You recognize a few of her friends like Brigitte, Hana, and Lena. You didn’t really like Lena, but you feel relieve to see familiar faces.

“JUST SAY HI TO HER,” you scolded jokingly, but James didn’t pay attention to you.

“JUST SAY HI YOU SHY BEAN –” you suddenly laughed too hard to the point of wetting yourself. You freak out, quickly ghosting through everyone before you spill anymore on yourself. You got to the men’s restroom, not looking at where you went since you are too focused on trying not to pee anymore. You quickly got on a stall, floating so your buttcheeks don’t get on the seat. You are trying your best not to touch anything. This whole restroom got some diseases. It looks clean surprisingly, but still nOPE.

“—n).. (y/n)?!” James yelled out, coming into the restroom.

“I PEED ON MYSELF,” you exclaimed through the stall.

“Ooh, welp,” James heard you, the restroom being quieter than the rest of the club. James went ahead and peed on a urinal, so he doesn’t have to go through that same situation. You were busy changing your pants, being very careful with not letting a n y t h i n g touch anything. You’re not trying to get some crazy futuristic STD. You flush the toilet gingerly with your feet, quickly running out in a panic when the flush end up being too loud. You quickly got to the sink, getting soap to wash your hands furiously through the running water. You didn’t look around for James since you knew he’s just going to show up if he needs anything. He walked up to you, also washing his hands.

“Just say hi to Mei and the others – you saw them?” you turn to James.

“Y… y-yeah! Yeah, I did,” James nodded feverishly, squinting at the water. He ends up splashing water on his face.

“… James, did you bully her because you don’t know how to deal with your dumb puppy love?” you asked flatly, wanting to pull out the truth from him.

“No no no … It’s a long story but uh … She saw the worst of me. She met me when I wasn’t really all – there,” James’s voice changed, scaring you.

“Your voice changed,” you pointed out.

“Oh that’s … This voice? That’s my normal? Human? Voice? Look, it’s weird. I’m not mentally stable, mate,” James shook his head as he snickered, finding his dilemma amusing. The voice you’re used to hearing from him came back a little though.

“Oh good, it came back,” you commented in a whisper.

“Oh okay, you were referring to that. It’s too long of a story, I can’t tell you one hundred percent of it – then again, I don’t remember most of the stuff. I just know I wasn’t okay,” James shrug.

“What do you mean you weren’t okay? Like depression not okay or uhh,” you squint, cringing at yourself.

“Much worse. Besides the radiation poisoning, my mental state worsened. That’s why I don’t remember most of the things I did, but I know I did … Like I knew I wasn’t aware, so who knows how much stupid stuff I did at the time,” James try to explain honestly, but he’s getting worried that you will look at him differently if he insinuates anything about his violent past. He was a violent mad man.

“James, it would be hypocritical of me to judge you based on that – I’m not mentally alright either,” you assured, looking into his eyes to make him trust you more.

James stared right back, nervously, not sure whether to tell you. But you are his friend though. He spent too much of his time hiding, pretending, lying … You don’t deserve that. He gave a sad, small smile.

“I’ll tell you outside, so you don’t have to see any buttcheeks and stuff,” James giggled softly, leading you out of the restroom to go outside.

“What if they don’t let you in? You barely came in, it’s okay,” you assured.

James nodded, still leading you along with his hand in yours. He didn’t notice Mei looking at you two, recognizing you and James. James took you to a bar area, sitting before he lifts you up on a tall stool next to him. You pulled out an ID in case the bar guy asks you. You reach your hand out to create a whole barrier, quieting the area around you two. James breaths in slowly, before he gently gave a slow breath out. You quickly grab his fleshy hand, letting him know you’re trusting of him. Blinking, Mei excuse herself from the group to follow you two to the bar.

“… I wasn’t a good man. I don’t remember the first time I met everyone because I wasn’t … I wasn’t there. This voice I’m making uhh, that’s Jameson. That voice was the only part of me that remained from before the omnic crisis,” James explained hesitantly, worried that he will scare you away. But your hand still clenches around his hand.

Mei look on nearby, hiding behind a corner while wondering whether to say hi to you two. As he kept talking to you, you suddenly lower your head down. You start to shake, Mei quickly noticing you were crying. James got close to hug you tightly, patting your head. Mei noticed that his eyes are getting a bit teary too.

… Mei slowly got over to James and you. Mei got into the barrier unknowingly, catching James’s attention.

“O .. O h Mei! I didn’t know you were the party type, eheh,” James laughed nervously, trying to blink the tears away from his eyes.

“Dance with me,” Mei demanded out of the blue.

“H .. Uh h uh …?” James’s eyes widen, not sure if he heard her right.

“Go dance with her, you animal!” you exclaimed, patting James away repeatedly as you smile wildly.

“Yeah! Hello by the way – uh h hh Come with me!” Mei pouted, pulling James off the stool. He let her drag him away, surprised at her sudden willingness to be with him. You sat on the stool, busy rubbing your tears away. You hop off the stool finally after you think you are fine, going to the dance floor to look for Hana and her friends.


	22. Getting Cronk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try to dance because everyone dancing. Also cute Mei and Jamison moments for you meihem shippers lmao
> 
> Too much drinking in this chapter tho
> 
> Also wtf are these hits. Thank you for the kudos and hits but wh

It is surprising to Mei how shy James is being tonight, especially when he’s usually loud and annoying. James is avoiding her eye contacts, trying to keep up with her while they dance with one another.

“… You alright?” Mei asked, but it was too loud for him to hear. He’s kind of looking around, but his eyes are not as teary as it was. She pouted, grabbing his head down to put her mouth towards his left ear.

“ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!” she asked loudly. James blinked rapidly, reaching his arms up to pat her back.

“… YEAH!” he responded finally, smiling a little.

James’s face quickly blushes when Mei pulled his arms towards her supple hips, putting her arms around him. A slower music is playing right now, but none of the two knows what the song is. James gently arch his neck over Mei’s scalp, feeling her dark hair tickle his skin. Mei is kind of surprised to feel his toned arms squeeze her in a hug around her waist.

“… Sorry,” James stated in a soft tone. Mei look up a little, not hearing him really. The two continue to slow dance, the two swaying to the music. Mei didn’t notice her face feeling hot … Or it’s because the club is too stuffy. She starts to pant from the heat suddenly, squirming a little in James’s grip. James quickly noticed, slowly letting his arms lose around her to free her. Mei flap her hands on her face, sweating a little.

“You need a drink?” James offered, albeit sounding awkward.

“You’re acting different…” Mei mumbled, but James didn’t hear her. He just tilts his head … Thinking maybe she said something, he lowers his head to have his ear next to her mouth.

“YOU’RE ACTING WEIRD YOU ANIMAL,” Mei exclaimed. James flinch a little. He suddenly took her hand, taking her over at the bar since the area is emptier there. Mei made an “eep!” sound when James lifted her up on the stool before he sat down.

“What you want to drink? It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, water is okay,” James shrug, but his eyes are still struggling to look at Mei.

“You are always loud and just … Childish. Why aren’t you being that way? Are you sad or something?” Mei asked finally, furrowing her brows together.

“Uhh…” James’s amber pupils dot around shyly, slouching over.

“Did I do something?” she asked softly.

“Wh? Huh? No no no..!” James shook his head quickly.

“I … I’m jealous of (y/n),” Mei confessed out of the blue.

“Huh? Why? I’m sure they would think you are superior than them … Well, they think everyone is superior to them. Have an extreme case of an inferiority complex,” James frowned a little, feeling sympathetic.

“You two seem very close,” Mei pointed out. James nodded in agreement.

“James, did you get tired of my bullying?” Mei’s voice went soft, getting a bit self-conscious.

“I thought I was the no-good bully, you said so yourself,” James tilt his head, Mei noticing his voice sounding different. Mei groans, hiding her face on her soft hands. Mei and James suddenly said “sorry”, surprising one another when hearing each other. They look at each-other, not sure what else to say.

“… Sorry you have to see me in that state. I’m stupid but at least I’m not a monster … Not anymore,” James shook his head slowly, slouching even more. Mei gaze upon him with sympathy.

“I’m just being stubborn,” Mei scratch the back of her head. James’s eyes want to look at Mei but felt like it would anger her. She is wearing a pretty blue dress, Cheongsam. It hugged around her curves beautifully, making his heart beat fast. James is so weak for thickness, always finding people on the thicker side as either cute and or beautiful. James rubs his temple with his thumb and index finger, embarrassed at himself for actually having feelings for the one girl that’s been claiming how much of an asshole he is.

“Look at me, you weirdo,” Mei squinted, pursing her lips. James carefully tear his eyes towards Mei’s, trying not to pay attention to anything else.

“… You’re too beautiful for me to look at, sorry,” James admitted, being brutally honest about it. Mei is taken aback, her eyes widening in surprise. James quickly slammed his face on the table, shaking from the shyness.

“… Thank you! I was wondering if this dress is too much. Maybe I am overdress for this place,” Mei nodded, still fanning herself.

“No ffkdsf no no, you Good! You Good, ma’am,” James lift his head up quickly, shaking eagerly.

“I’ll just … Yeah, I’ll get a Blue Lagoon,” Mei nodded, looking towards the bartender.

“Yeah yeah, drinks on me eheheh..! …. Hey wait a minute … I know you!” James pointed at the bartender. The bartender turns to James, revealing to be Genji.

“Hullo!” Genji smiled, coming over to talk to James and Mei.

“You doing alright, mate?” James asked happily, feeling himself coming back to what he calls normal.

“Of course! I’m good, just doing my job. You two want anything?” Genji nodded, seemingly in a decent mood.

“Blue lagoon please,” Mei said.

“Strawberry … Lemonade vodka? You got that?” James asked hesitantly.

“Oh yeah, of course! Coming up,” Genji turns quickly to make the drinks.

“Don’t you like Bloody Mary? I thought you would be the type to like it” Mei asks curiously.

“Kind of reminds me of shrimp. Yeah, I don’t like shrimps,” James answered, squinting at the fishy taste.

“You don’t like seafood in general?”

“Nope.”

“Okay, that’s alright.”

James shut his eyes shut, trying not to make a fool of himself like he always … Does. Like 98% of his time. He’s trying his best not to start screaming or blurt out anything dumb. Genji finally comes over with their drinks, placing the drinks in front of them. Mei quickly start drinking her cold drink, trying to cool her insides down. James tentatively sip on his drink, looking around wide-eyed.

Meanwhile you managed to get some courage to say hi to the group of girls. Hana quickly remembers you, coming over to hug you. You are surprised at the sudden act of affection, but you patted her back softly.

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU HUMANS,” you exclaimed, pointing at your headphones.

“OH OKAY, THAT’S ALRIGHT!” Hana gave you thumbs up with a bright smile.

You saw more girls around, like Fareeha and Angela. Suddenly Lena suggested everyone to get on the dancefloor, everyone following suit to dance along. You awkwardly follow along, trying to not be left out. Lucio is now playing his own music but might resume to the 2000s theme at some point. The girls dance around in the same area, you still doing your Carlton dance you were doing. You were close by Brigitte and Hana, only feeling trusting of them.

You are having a hard time trying to dance in a similar style, getting self-conscious. You froze suddenly the moment you realize how off-beat you are, waiting at the right time to kept going. Nobody seem to notice you – you quickly resume what you were doing except it’s getting passionate, flashbacks to that one time you were at this girl’s Quinceanera.

Lucio pull up a more upbeat song only you realize it was a Portuguese song you loved as a child. It was a remix of an old Portuguese song by a popular Latin musician at the time. You start dancing something inspired by salsa, having confidence in yourself and your hips. Hana and the others are nodding along, seemingly cool with how you are doing. You close your eyes and focus on the beat, trying to get rid of any shred of insecurity. You twirl around, wave your hands around, broke sweat, smiling widely to laugh away the anxiety. Angela left the group at some point, nobody noticing her absence except for Fareeha. Fareeha went looking for her, kind of worried for her. Daddy Yankee suddenly starts playing, making you remember being in the Hispanic parts of Houston.

Lena, Brigitte, Hana, and you are in a tighter group. You seem the most energetic, putting more passion on your arms and hips while still smiling away. The girls beam along, liking how happy you seem to be. You got too into the dance that you let someone twirl you around, trying to follow along with your step before you quickly turn back to the group.

“WAIT, IS THAT THE PROFESSOR?!” Lena pointed behind you. You didn’t hear her, and your eyes are closed shut. Mei is the only other one that noticed him but is too focused on James to care. The man kept putting his hands on your hips, letting you return to dancing with him. He’s keeping up with your fast-paced dancing with the reggae music, not showing any hesitance.

Angela spotted Genji over there, now speaking to him happily while James and Mei stay sitting around. James is drinking shots of Jose Cuervo, getting sluggish with his movement. Mei is a bit buzzed, but she’s more conscious than him. Mei carefully pick James up, trying to not make him take another shot. James seem to beam up a little, ironically getting his usual demeanor back except it’s more of a slow version of who he is usually. Mei and James start dancing with no problem though, besides being a bit tipsy in their steps. James even start doing the usual dancing he was doing, laughing and smiling. You opened your eyes only to land on Mei and James, cheering you up that the two have no remorse to one another. They seem tired but James got back to his usual silly self. You quickly turn to see who is holding your hands – to your surprised, it was Siebren. He was looking down at you with a huge grin. You didn’t stop yourself before you quickly jumped on him, clinging his waist as Siebren quickly holds you. He lets your down gently, laughing along.

“I CAN’T HEAR,” you kept pointing at your headphones. He nodded, excitedly going back to dancing with you. You blushed when you saw him being hella passionate, feeling your heart swell weirdly. You close your eyes again, trying not to feel anymore second-hand embarrassment. You froze in place when you immediately recognize G A S O L I N A playing. Everyone went wild, turning up to the music while the couples got all up on each-other. James especially got insane, hollering the lyrics and jumping while Mei doesn’t seem faze at him. She’s actually got just as rowdy as him, much to James’s happiness. The two are feeling joyful with one another, oh good! You quickly ran off to try speaking to them, not noticing Siebren’s face frowning from losing your touch – he quickly grabs you, pulling flush against his chest. The girls find it amusing that someone as sophisticated as Siebren is at a dance club of all places -- and being so clingy towards you! And having fun! You just spotted Moira at the bar drinking something while you saw Angela sitting there with Genji. Fareeha just found out where she is, so she came back to the group. Siebren suddenly swung you up in the air, making you levitate a little – you spun vertically in the air by accident, caught by surprised at the sudden throw. You got back on the ground, but the girls came over to help you get back on the floor. You quickly ran over to James and Mei until you realize – oh they are turnt. They kept dancing a bit aggressively, yelping the lyrics and staying near each other.

… You quickly ran off to the front of the stage, getting up to see if Lucio needs any assistance. Lucio is doing fine. He’s wet from sweat, but he is smiling happily as he kept entertaining with the music. You quickly ran to the bar, looking around at the space. You gingerly climb up on the stool near Moira, who is currently taking a huge gulp of her wine. You thought you saw something weird on the floor – you reach out only to see Angela and Genji on the floor making out. You grimace, slowly getting away from the bar.

“WHERE’S SIEBREN?!” you asked, squinting through the dark behind you. 

Moira points her long elegant finger towards the center of the dancefloor, doing a good job not showing any signs of alcohol consumption. You turn around and it took you a minute to spot the man. Good lord he’s going to town. You can see him near James and Mei, who are tiredly still dancing while the old man is more energetic than them combined. Moira slammed her money on the counter, getting up to come to the dance floor and start dancing. You flinched a little at the action.

You quickly follow along when you saw that James and Mei are getting exhausted. The group of girls noticed that too, so they come along to help their friend and James. They pull them to a seating area, sitting alongside them since they also getting exhausted from all that dancing. You scrunch your nose in disgust, seeing how much of a mess everyone is. You start pulling out water bottles from thin air, giving it to everyone in the group. You quickly sprint through the crowd to reach the bar, going over the counter to still see Genji and Angela sitting on the floor. They look tired but happy. They didn’t notice you when you were peering up, probably because of your height. Your back arch up when you felt someone grab your hips – placing you on a stool. You felt relieved when it was just Siebren, panting and crossing his arms on the desk. An Omnic bartender come over to do the work since Genji is not doing anything.

“You have any Genever?” Siebren asked him.

“Yes sir,” the bartender nodded, coming over to bring a glass of it to Siebren. You stare onto his glass, wondering why your mother enjoyed this kind of scene back when she was younger than you. You can feel yourself growing irritated, wanting to go outside to feel the cold air.

“How’s your powers?” Siebren asked after taking a sip of his drink, patting your back.

“Good! I’m helping Lucio with his show because it’s convenient,” you nodded. You noticed Moira coming back to sit next to Siebren.

“Oh, you got a haircut!” you pointed at his buzz cut.

“Oh yes, helps me look cleaner,” Siebren run his fingers through his awfully short hair.

“You look good!” you clapped your hands in agreement.

“Thank you!” Siebren smiled, sipping some more. You look at the cup curiously, watching his lips purse over at the edge. You kept staring, slowly feeling your irritation and nervousness being in your mind.

_Dysfunctional family. Father is alcoholic. Mother is always complaining and … stuff_

_Father is alcoholic._

_Father is alcoholic._

_Father is alcoholic._

_Alcohol._

Siebren didn’t put his glass down when it suddenly shattered in his hands. He quickly looks down, seeing what have happened while Moira quickly look at the incident curiously.

“… Was that you?” Moira looks at Siebren with a blank stare.

“No idea,” he murmurs, seeing that his hand didn’t got cut luckily. The bartender quickly comes over to clean the area up while Siebren looks over at you to see if any glass got on you. He suddenly felt something off with you. You look tense on your seat, looking dead on at the shattered glass and spilled Genever. Worried, Siebren quickly gave the money to the bartender before he focuses on you. Moira is looking at the wall in front of her when she noticed something up. You look up a little when you kept hearing rattling noises, but it stopped when you whip around at the glasses and bottles on the wall. It stopped rattling right then and there.

… You slowly hop off the stool, not wanting to cause anymore trouble. Siebren and Moira follows you along, kind of worried for you.

“You okay, lieveling?” Siebren asks softly, reaching over to pat your head.

“I can’t breathe. I want to go outside,” you mumbled, but the songs are too loud.

Siebren kind of understood what’s wrong, picking you up to get you into a small room while Moira follows along. You have no idea where you went until you noticed there was a karaoke machine in the middle of it. You were so confused at the sudden change in noise levels.

“We’re alone, what’s wrong mijn lief?” he coos, cupping your face. Moira sat next to you, crossing her long legs and laying back.

“That was me,” you stare at Siebren’s tie when you point at yourself.

“Hmm?” Siebren tilt his head. Moira turns to you curiously.

“I broke the glass. Reminded me of something unpleasant. Too much information. I’m just stupid,” you mumbled, blinking slowly.

“Ooh,” Siebren rubbed his thumbs on your supple cheek. It felt pleasant.

“How so?” Moira asks.

“Oh Moira, uhh you see, they have a unique ability involving space-time,” Siebren beams as he explained.

“… Tell me more,” Moira’s whole body turns to you in full attention. Siebren breaths in the start droning on about space time continuum until you got up, thinking it’s best to illustrate. You hop up to start levitating … Before going back on the ground. Moira kept looking at you, still interested. You pull out a bottle of marble soda, placing it on the small table in front. You froze, trying to remember what else to do … You twirl up, starting to run around the room and through the walls. Moira and Siebren stared at the wall you went through until you came back, almost slipping when you stop. Wanting to show some comedic stuff, you start running on air while floating – like the cartoons. You lost your balance a little, allowing the happy accident to occur while catching the floor with your hand. You got your weight back, coming over to grab the table and swinging it up. The two scientists gasped when you did that – except that expecting it to fall, it just disappeared in thin air. You stood there with your arms up. You suddenly hop up and got the table back, placing it on the floor.

“… Fascinating,” Moira commented, seemingly impressed.

“Moira, this is (y/n). The machine on campus brought them here,” Siebren revealed.

Moira quickly turns to Siebren, shocked.

“How so? Explain.”

“They disappeared in the year 2018.”


	23. Karaoke with Two Scientists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Get down with Sigma in karaoke while Moira cringes in the background. 
> 
> Mentions of transphobia and political stuff, so be aware ;; the reader is androgynous but that might change -- just wanted the reader to stay as relatable as possible, so I'm debating on whether to be specific or not. Also why this kept getting hundreds of hits everyday wh

Moira listen intently to you and Siebren, explaining to her your situation.

“How did you manage to get out of the machine room?”

“I think I phased through the walls in a panic,” you thought for a bit.

“Oh yes, the phasing. Where were you living at this whole time?”

“I’m a student now, I’m with some roommates.”

Moira hummed.

“Do you disappear in and out of reality? Like you’re getting any symptoms of chronal disassociation?”

Both you and Siebren answered the question as “no”.

“That’s strange, because how come Lena end up in that situation?”

“I discussed this theory with (y/n) already, but my theory is this; Lena only broke through the fourth dimension instead of all four. Most likely (y/n) broke through all four different dimensions because the machine creates some kind of worm hole – there are also theories of black holes functioning similarly as a worm hole,” Siebren discusses with pride.

“Must be related to the unified theories and The Special Theory of Relativity,” Moira muses along.

“Very much so,” Siebren nodded.

You’re not interested in their discussion, quickly getting bored enough to go check your phone for new emails or messages.

“You been through something similar, so how come they seem to be doing just fine?” Moira peers over at you.

“They are special, Moira. They are strong enough to experience such a thing in this wonderful universe,” Siebren glance over you lovingly.

“Did they show any destructive behavior?”

“Only the glass breaking. I haven’t seen much other than their more passive abilities.”

You kept looking at your phone, your eyes still glue to the screen when Moira reach over to delicately hold your face. You felt her long manicure as she pokes or lightly tugs at your cheeks or jaws.

“Interesting,” Moira murmur, looking you over.

“… Your skin needs some assistance, I can recommend something for you,” Moira squints.

“I know, too greasy and black heads and eughhh…” you mumbled in disgust.

“Besides drinking more h2o, you also need some vitamin K … Maybe scrubs but that can cause irritation and strips away your skin from everything …” Moira kept looking at your face, feeling yourself getting gross out at your pores being looked at.

“Ahahah~ they are fine, they are physically stable and well,” Siebren assures, picking you up to place you next to him on his left. He pulls the microphone out, showing it to you.

“You enjoy karaoke?” Siebren asked happily.

“Oh no,” Moira roll her head, knowing where this is going.

“I like singing but not in front of people. I still need to practice on my breathing to sing correctly,” you explained. He nudges the microphone at you.

“Want me to go first?”

You felt the need to say no, but you are morbidly curious.

“Siebren, no. It’s cringe,” Moira squinted her eyes almost shut, bracing herself for the worst.

Siebren instead pressed start on the controller, staring dead into Moira’s eyes. She gave him a nasty look, not happy with what he’s about to do. You were expecting him to go full on Mariah Carey on everyone … Except he stood there awkwardly, tapping his feet to the rhythm. He only laughed, hummed, kept saying “ooh”, and you think he said something about stroopwaffles? Moira covered her face and ears, cringing so hard. You are just surprised at how deep his voice get at some points. You curiously look through the song to see what to play next. You don’t know what song you think you can pull off normally, but it’s not going to be as bad as Siebren..? Is that even considered singing? You got up and walk over to the karaoke machine, closing your eyes so you can add something onto it..? You don’t know if you can do that. You only notice that your powers are mostly controlled by your imagination. The screen suddenly went dark … Only an MP3 file named “Chop Suey – Richard Cheese version Instrumental.mp3” is shown there.

Moira and Siebren got quiet when they heard piano playing, Siebren visibly freaked out as the lights got dark. You stood there with no problem, few meters away in front of them with a microphone in hand.

“… What is that melody?” Siebren whispered nervously. He was going to freak out until --

“Wake up”

You pose, the lights brightening up to focus on you.

“Grab a brush and put a little makeup”

You pose twice to the beat.

“Hide the scars and fade away that shakeup”

Poses more, not looking at the two confused adults.

“Why did you leave the keys upon the table?”

_“You wanted to”_

Siebren look up in fear.

“Why did you leave the keys upon the table?”

_“You wanted to, idiot”_

The two scientists look around, hearing voices that are around the room.

“WHY?? DID YOU LEAVE THE STUPID KEYS ON THE TABLE?!” you exclaimed dramatically. Siebren and Moira stares at you, not sure how to react. Your pose relaxed, starting to sing again.

“…I don't think youuu trust  
In, my, self-righteous suicide  
I, cry, when angels deserve to die~”

You dance a little, along to the jazzy music. Siebren starts to relax to the music, Moira slowly uncovering her face.

“Trust en mi self-righteous suicide  
Tu lloras when angels deserve to —"

“Father, father, padre, padre …  
Father, into your hands … I commend my spirit  
Father, into your hands  
Why have you forsaken me?  
Why have you forsaken meee~?”

You’re trying to get some breath in.

“I don’t think you trust in my self-righteous suicide!  
I cried when angels deserve to….”

“Die, ladies and gentle humans...~”  
You bowed, the lights coming back in the room.

Siebren claps happily, wanting you to feel accomplished, Moira hesitantly clapping along.

“… Sorry yall have to hear me,” you apologized, blushing and trying to laugh away the embarrassment.

“At least you are not as bad as this old man,” Moira pointed her thumb at Siebren.

“Hey!” Siebren pouted at Moira.

“What? Aren’t you the one that said something about butter on your head or something?” Moira squint at him.

“Oh, it’s a Dutch saying; Wie boter op z'n hoofd heeft, moet uit de zon blijven,” Siebren stated.

You loved hearing people speak in their native languages. It sounds so cool!

“What does it mean?” you asked, coming over to snuggle next to Siebren. He liked that.

“If you can't handle criticism, don't criticize,” Siebren replied, putting his large arm around you.

“I thought the saying is how if you can’t handle criticism, then stay out of the spotlight,” Moira furrow her brows.

“It can be interpreted that way, yes,” Siebren nodded, starting to rub circles on your back. That made you shiver violently, making you squeak out funny noises. You need a massage anyway because your years of bad posture must have made your spine raw.

“Whatever, now my turn,” Moira gets up suddenly, getting the microphone and selecting a David Bowie song. You clap along to the song with Siebren, being supportive and finding her voice soothing. You are so shocked when one of the songs is recognized. You remember Kurt Cobain covered the song, but you didn’t know David Bowie was the one that originally wrote it! You got so excited, singing some of the lyrics softly with Moira. You three spent most of the night doing karaoke or talking to one another. You felt relaxed since it’s quieter and you felt like people are paying attention to you. You continue to talk about your time-travelling misadventure to Moira, Siebren helping with the explanation for most of the night until they must leave.

The two scientists eventually have to leave at around 1:30 AM, but Moira gave you her phone number. Siebren hugged you tightly, telling you goodbye before going away with Moira. You come over to the club to go back to the group of girls, seeing that James and Mei knocked out at some point. The club didn’t close until it’s 2:30 AM, people leaving in Ubers or other such services. You and the girls helped James and Mei into their car, promising you that they will bring James back to the dorms. The girls also gave you their numbers. You helped clean things up at the club and putting the equipment away. After the club is completely closed, you two left to go back home through the train.

You two came back to the dorms safely. You came over to the girl’s dorm to get James, Lucio and you helping to grab him. You two gingerly carried him to the couch back in your dorm, placing his head to the side so he doesn’t choke on his vomit. Mako came out of his room, spotting you and Lucio tucking James on the couch. You look up tiredly, drooling a little.

“Oh hey, he fell asleep on the way,” Lucio whispered, not wanting to wake anymore people up. Mako shrug, coming over to you.

“I smell bad,” you commented, backing away a little. He still gave you a hug, glad you came back in one piece. You pat his back sluggishly, yawning. He lets your go, telling your good night and going back in his room. You didn’t even go to brush your teeth or shower – you quickly got in the room and crash on your bed after taking your clothes off, only sleeping with a tank top and underwear.

You and Lucio woke up late, but you’re even more reluctant to … Until you remember James. You push yourself to get up, coming over to check if he’s been moved or he wasn’t. You and Lucio found him still in the same place. There wasn’t any vomit or anything. Lucio come over to check his pulse and see if there are any bad signs. You turn on the TV to see if there is anything to see – until something caught your eye.

“… Lucio, look,” you pointed at the screen. Lucio look up to see what you are referring to; it was a news article about something that happened nearby. Lucio quickly recognized it’s the storage unit you two went. Turns out that a huge robbery occurred by some gang, so you two were lucky for listening to your gut feelings.

“Los Muertos are characterized by their skeletal themed, luminescent tattoos. They originated from Mexico, but their presence is found widespread throughout the United States”

That made your stomach turn. You remember how anti-immigrant politics are raging during your time, threatening your family and your classmates. You don’t feel close to anyone, but you still sympathize with the people you see on the streets and in school. Your favorite Italian teacher was Mexican and very sweet to you, especially since she understands your struggles as an autistic student. You hope she lived a fulfilling life. You’re getting worried that things really didn’t changed, that there are still people having negative opinions to foreigners.

“Not all Mexicans are like that,” you mumbled.

“I know,” Lucio nodded.

“I’m scared because I lived through a time where being racist is okay, it’s just an opinion,” you said, putting quotations on opinion. Being homophobic and transphobic is an opinion, having disrespect towards human beings is an opinion … It made no sense to you. You remembered how people only saw you based on “chromosomes” instead of how you see yourself. You saw how your sister’s friends would continually make transphobic jokes and even have those opinions. They only saw you as what you don’t look at yourself as, or as they say, “in a biological standpoint”. It annoys you. Your sister didn’t give a huge deal since she just thinks they are just people with an opinion. Apparently it’s because they are religious, but how come they do other things the bible doesn’t approve of? Like seeing porn, cursing people out, unfriendly, judgmental, and even more stupid stuff? It doesn’t make sense. Seeing these weird inconsistencies made you more distrustful of humans. They just hate because they want to.

“Oh … Well, it’s the Omnics that are having it hard for now. But I understand,” Lucio replied.

“Immigrants are hated throughout the world, always scapegoated,” you added.

“I think it was worse decades ago, like around 2020? But I’m not really a history geek,”

“… Do you know about my situation? Like how I came out of nowhere?”

Lucio looks at you curiously.

“I got these powers because I did a weird dimensional hopping. You know that machine on campus that we are doing a documentary about in journalism? That brought me here. Siebren will let you know about it,” you explained.

Lucio kept looking at you.

“I know I sound like I snorted coke but Sie—Dr. De Kuiper knows about it. They are even worried if I might have the same thing Lena has but I’m cool,” you shrug.

“Ooh that guy. Isn’t he your cousin?” Lucio arch his brow.

“Yeah. That’s why he’s significantly older than me – I’m supposed to be old, but I got time-travelled instead. I’m from the year 2018,” you pointed at yourself.

“Ooh no wonder you always seem confused,” Lucio smiled amusingly.

“I’m always confused honestly … Anyways uhh yeah, I’m here now and I’m stuck. It’s cool. Apparently they made a big deal out of my disappearance but I’m just a nobody,” you shrug, blinking slowly.

“Nah, you are somebody! I’m sure people have missed you like your family and friends. Don’t you miss them too?” Lucio asked innocently.

“Nope,” you commented suddenly.

“Oh … Why so?”

“I was lonesome. I didn’t get along with my family. Never liked people. That’s why I like being by myself,” you explained honestly.

“Oh …” Lucio faltered, having to find out you are lonelier than he thought.

“Do you believe me anyway? This whole thing sounds stupid,” you asked, trying to sound like you don’t care.

“No, no I do! Because it makes sense how sudden your appearance is – Does anyone else knows?” Lucio asks

“Mako and James.”

“Do the higher ups know? Like Mr. Morrison? Dr. Harold Winston? Ms. Amari?”

“I don’t think so.”

“… Do you want to go back?”

You stare blankly at Lucio’s direction, not looking at his face.

“… I think I would have been dead if I stay there any longer. It’s best that I leave everything behind, as cowardly as I am,” you contemplated solemnly.

Instead of being judged harshly, Lucio comes over and gives you a hug. You pat his back, blinking away the familiar feeling of your eyes getting teary.

“Is James okay?” you murmured.

“His fingernails and lips seem fine. Worst case scenario is he’s going to get a bad hangover,” Lucio pats your back, looking over to James’s snoring form.


	24. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moira wants to experime-- I mean befriend you. 
> 
> Fluff and angst because euhhhhhh

“You must let me study them.”

Moira and Siebren are taking a ride back home in an Uber since they were drinking. They are not as messed up as James and Mei were, but they are still feeling tipsy.

“Depending on what are your methods – you know how strict the university is with these kinds of things,” Siebren replied calmly, feeling kind of squeezed in with how tall he is. His legs are slightly bent upward.

“Siebren, you were never frustrated at the restrictions Overwatch placed on your research?” Moira looks towards the tall man. Siebren shrugs. He doesn’t really have any opinions since he’s been working by himself most of his career. It was until recently he starts to help along with the project so it can be subsidized by the government. If they figure out how to harness energy from black holes, the electricity and other fuel companies will stop at nothing to get in the way of progress. It has occurred in the past with how pharmaceutical companies overprice important medications and lock up cures, also with how petroleum businesses try to deny global warming in the earlier 21st century by paying off certain politicians and stop electrical vehicles from becoming the norm. Money is always the root of evil.

“Dr. De Kuiper,” Moira comes closer to him, staring at him dead-on.

“I must study them. I do wish they would allow me to study them, maybe they wouldn’t see a problem,” Moira contemplated, her eyes glaze with drunkenness and curiosity.

“You may ask them about it, but just be vary at how strict the university is with those things. It’s not just any other university, you know,” Siebren suggested, only caring whether you are okay with it.

“Oh, my place is here,” Moira opens the door.

“I see, you have a good night Moira,” Siebren smiled a little.

“Same to you, Siebren. Mark my words; I will allow none to stand in the way of progress,” Moira muses sternly, closing the passenger door shut before going to the front of her house.

* * *

After showering because who knows how much nasty stuff are in the club, You spent most of that day just laying in bed. You get no human contact so you can recharge. You’re not used to going out for that long and it was exhausting, but you are grateful for the memories. You either draw, watch videos, nap, eat random stuff, etc. At some point, your phone made a sound. You look at it curiously, seeing Moira’s name. You check the text to see what it was about.

“Good day, (y/n). I hope you had some rest after all that partying last night. I’m messaging you because I am very interested in learning about your situation in a biological standpoint. It might be helpful in the long run”

You turn to your side, texting her back.

“Oh hey, Moira. It’s nice meeting you. I have classes but I can make time to be of any help. How is it going to work?”

You kept watching videos, eating food from your favorite fast food place and other good snacks.

“Brilliant. We can meet at any time after classes since I’m a student as well. What day is it good for you?”

“Tuesday and Thursdays are my least busy days”

“Good. I’m always around the science building because I’m a geneticist, just so happened I’m branching out in different scientific areas. You can see me in the labs on Tuesday or Thursday most of the day. I’m very passionate about my work because I want the world to be a better place with what I do”

“Beautiful. I would be around to help, and I’ll text you to let you know.”

“Wonderful. I’m glad you will be able to help.”

“How is Siebren? He came home safely?”

“Yes, he’s probably on campus right now … Or recovering from yesterday. You have his contact information, yes?”

“Oh yeah! Okay, you have a good day”

“Same to you”

You quickly went through your contact, finding Siebren’s name.

“Hey is (y/n), are you doing okay? I came home safely with a classmate”

You didn’t even put your phone down when the man quickly replied.

“I’m doing good! Glad to hear from you 😊”

“When is it a good time to text you? I know you are a busy man”

“I will always reply, don’t worry”

“Liar”

“Cross my heart”

“I’ll try not to terrorize you with my rambling. But good, I’m glad you’re alive and well”

“Same to you”

Meanwhile, Lucio is watching a movie next to James. Mako is still sleeping in his bed while everyone else went on their way to do whatever they want. James suddenly wake up, groaning and squinting his eyes tight shut.

“… Where am I?” he mumbled tiredly.

“You’re back home, relax,” Lucio replied softly, patting James’s leg.

“The lights are too … Light. Eughhh…”

Lucio got up quickly and turn off the light since there is a window to bring the light in.

“… Where is (y/n)?” James got up quickly, looking around.

“They are in their room,” Lucio replied, changing the channels.

“Oh …” James rub his eyes.

“… OH YEAH I FORGOT –” Lucio got up from the couch quickly and go to his room, making you jump from the sudden movements. You got back to talking to Siebren through text while Lucio ruffle through his stuff, pulling out his wallet. You flinched when Lucio nudge your shoulder. You look up at him to see him holding out slip of papers for you.

“… What is that?”

“Money!”

“What for? You’re a college student, sir,” you tilt your head a little.

“Aw come on! It’s for being my assistant and making the show happen! You have no idea how helpful you are,” Lucio smiled happily.

“I just carried stuff,” you shrug.

“Dude, remember that my equipment got stolen at that storage unit? The show would have been cancelled if you didn’t come to the rescue!” Lucio assured, kind of confused on your humbleness.

“Oh … No problem, just don’t want you to struggle financially for me,”

“Aww I’m good! I’m paid very well, take the money!” Lucio stretched his arm towards you more, holding up the two hundred-dollar bills. You hesitantly got the money.

“Thank you. Are there anymore upcoming shows that I need to know about?” you asked.

“I usually perform every Friday at the club. I will probably stay working there until I graduate,” Lucio shrug.

“I will stay stable enough to work,” you nodded.

“It’s cool, just let me know if there are any emergencies or whatever. I’m not some mean greedy CEO that gives only minimum wages like in 2010,” Lucio laughed.

“Okay, again thanks,” you gave a small smile.

Lucio went out of the room, leaving you alone to continue checking on James. When he went, he saw Mako is up. James is murmuring Mako about stuff, still laying on the couch while he hide his eyes behind his arm.

“Sorry James, what you were saying?” Lucio sat back to where he was.

“Oh hey, uhh… Nothing? Just that the lights are bothering me,” James mumbled tiredly.

“Do you have any nausea? Heartburn?”

“I feel sick to my stomach, yeah. Lights are bothering me, my head hurts …”

“Just take it easy man, I’ll bring you some water and pain relievers,” Lucio got up to do just that.

Mako went over to your room while you are still texting to Siebren. You turn to see Mako, blinking at him slowly.

“… What chu want.” You asked flatly. That came out kind of mean, didn’t it? Oh shit what you do why did you say it like that wh

“I missed you”

Your eyes widen in surprise.

“… Nobody ever said that to me,” you commented. He shrugs in response.

“I been lazy the whole day. I’m tired from working yesterday,” you turn to look at your phone.

“Working?”

“Lucio gave me a job, remember? I help with equipment and stuff because I like breaking laws of physics apparently,” you explained, your voice soft and tired.

“How was it?”

“Tiresome, but I like helping. I feel productive.”

Mako look at your messy bed, wondering whether to sit next to you or not invade your space.

“I sounded mean, I’m sorry…”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t I sound condescending?” you point at yourself, looking up at him.

“Nope”

“Okay, because people didn’t like my tone of voice – they say I sound mean or too loud.”

“Not as loud as James.”

“Heyyy, he’s my friend.”

“Still loud.”

“You big meanie, he’s just a happy bean.”

Mako chuckled softly, making you look up with dilated pupils.

“We love you.”

Mako suddenly gasped, looking around nervously.

“…?”

“… You love me?”

“I love you correctly. I want you to be happy and at peace,” you said casually, not really paying attention to how it can be interpreted. Mako’s face is getting warm. He wants to ask you if you meant romantic or platonic – no, idiot. He knows you are probably not going to look at him that way.

“… I love you too, (y/n),” Mako replied, although a bit too softly. He confessed to you, basically. He’s kind of hoping you don’t take it seriously. You stare at his direction, not showing any amusement.

“… Pff, liar,” you turn to your phone.

“Huh? What do you mean I’m a liar?”

“You only said that because I said it,” you smiled mischievously, although there is sadness behind it.

“How can I prove it?” Mako sat on the floor in front of you. You noticed that, so you try to lower yourself a little.

“… I honestly don’t know how people are supposed to treat me like, so no idea,” you shrug, fumbling around with your bed covers.

“Believe me, I usually don’t like saying that because I don’t really care about anyone else,” Mako admitted.

“Why so?” you peer at him suspiciously.

“I don’t know, I never really care about other people like I care for you,” Mako shrugs.

“Why me?” you narrow your eyes even more.

“I don’t know, I suddenly felt the need to protect you and care for you.”

… The doubts are crawling up, clawing themselves into your head. You look down on your phone, not reading what Siebren sent you.

You’re going to jinx it.

You’re going to disappoint him.

You’re going to anger him.

You don’t deserve anything.

.  
.  
.  
.  
.

“Mako, the thoughts,” you pointed at your head.

“Hmm?”

“I’m scared of angering you if I tell you what I’m thinking. Like… Like.. Like…” you start to panic.

“Tell me,” Mako crawl up a little to put his arms on the edge of your bed.

“I didn’t mean to doubt you or anyone, but these thoughts in my head – these memories – I’m scared. I’m scared of ruining your image of me. I’m scared of disappointing you,” you start tearing up, getting so scared. Mako struggled a little until he gets on his feet, picking you up to cradle you.

“What else are you thinking?” Mako asks, gently patting your back.

“You’re going to be like Claudius. That’s my biggest fear,” you confessed. Mako’s hand kept petting your back, but his hand slowing down and his silence scared you enough to start gurgling. Mako quickly noticed you panicking as you start crying out “I’M SORRY I’M SORRY PLEASE DON’T HURT ME PLEASE DON’T ABANDON ME PLEASE DON’T--”

Mako hugs you tightly, shushing you. You kept crying from how scared you are.

“All I do is hurt people, I’m not good—” you try to speak but all Mako hear is gurgling and hiccups.

“… I’m killing that man for making you like this,” Mako rumbled, still holding your shivering form as tightly as he can. You feel your stomach drop, relapsing to the time you angered Claudius. You remember how you couldn’t sleep, how much anxiety you have, how you kept staring at your friendlist before he deletes you off his life.

“It’s MY FAULT I MET HIM—”

“Not it’s not, good people get hurt all the time. Life isn’t fair,” Mako assured, giving you head scratches.

“Wha t do you want from me ..” you gurgled out, with so much fear in your voice. You couldn’t trust anyone or anything.

“I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to suffer anymore because of what others did to you. It’s not your fault. People get hurt all the time,” he kept comforting you, patting your back. It broke Mako’s heart how nobody seems to give you any patience nor understanding.

“… You don’t have to like me back. I just want you to be happy, no matter what,” Mako kept cradling you on his shoulder. You gulped, wetting his shoulder blade with your tears. Mako went through the bathroom so the others don’t have to see you like this. He places you on his bed, still bawling like a baby.

“What do that man have in common with me?” Mako ask, a bit curious.

“… I’m scared of everyone. Anyone that shows me kindness too. Who knows if they want something in return for their kindness?” you managed to say that without gurgling, despite the few cracks in your voice. Mako gets in bed with you, despite how massive he is compared to you. You cried some more as he lets you cuddle up to him. They are gratuitous tears at this point. Why is this man being so kind to you? So sweet? Is he planning to demand something from you in return? Is he trying to lure you in a trap?

“… I should get used to it. I should have never let anyone in. I was alone. Alone but okay. Nobody to worry about. Nobody to care. I shouldn’t have let them in. I shouldn’t have…” you murmured.

“Used to what?”

“I’m used to being abandoned. Everything has an end, including life. So what’s the point being ali—“… No. Don’t say that. Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you be as stupid as that girl and say that for sympathy.

“… What’s the point trusting if all people do is make mistakes?... Mako.”

Mako hums in response.

“Are you friends with me because you feel sorry for me?”

“No, of course not,” Mako pats your shoulder.

Liar. All you been doing is crying like a stupid kid. No wonder people didn’t take you seriously at all. All you do is act like a kid, be lectured like a kid, be cared for like a kid, because you are a kid. You are childish. You even look like a kid. How can anyone like you with that attitude? How can you expect anyone to stay being your friends when the last few friendships you had didn’t even last a year? You’re not even good enough to be one of that man’s partners. You’re not good enough to even be a real friend. You couldn’t do anything right, can you? How can anyone love a stupid child in an adult body? You’re only good to be played around, manipulated, hurt, be used as a punching bag by your parents and everyone. That’s why you stay by yourself. That’s why you don’t talk to anyone for a long time. You don’t want anyone to get in. You don’t want to go through the same thing, because why? Because everyone is the same. Everyone will eventually abandon you the moment you make a mistake.

“You kept crying so much.”

“I’m sorry…”

“No, no, just commenting. Just worried you might get dehydrated or something.”

“I want to be alone because I don’t have to worry about being betrayed,” you admitted.

Mako kept listening.

“I been hurt by my parents, my sister, my friends … Everyone. People who have been kind to me either disappears from my life or betrays me. I don’t like depending on others for happiness. I rather stay by myself. I don’t want to depend on another human being for my survival. I rather … I don’t. I don’t want to.”

Mako holds you in his arm still, rubbing your shoulder and arm slowly.  
“Why aren’t you angry? Are you holding it in?”

“Why should I be angry for?”

“For doubting you and everyone.”

“I shouldn’t be surprised. I know it’s something you’re struggling with. Why should I get mad at you because of something you have to endure?”

“I had a friend that got angry at me for sharing these thoughts, even though she also has those thoughts –”

“If she been through the same things you did, why would she cut you off over it? That doesn’t make sense.”

“People are shit, okay? How can I trust these animals? All of them, hypocrites!” you exclaimed angrily, tears still spilling out.

“Of course they are, ughhh…” Mako puts you on his lap.

“Why aren’t you taking it personal?”

“Why should I? Whoever takes offence are probably idiots that think they are entitled to your trust or are too insecure of themselves,” Mako explained, starting to grab hold of your shoulders only to start rubbing his thumb in circles around your back—

“Eea EEUHHASU AhudhAE—” you gargled and arch your back violently, flailing your limbs around.

Mako wheezes, lowering his head on your scalp as he shivers out a laughter. That small incident shut your thoughts up altogether. You snorted, rubbing your face while hearing Mako’s laughter.

“I’m serious, all I do is cry about how stupid my thought-processes are – why do you people like me?” you rubbed your eyes, still crying.

“You’re you. That’s why I love you,” Mako replied, smiling on your fluffy hair. He can smell the shampoo you used – it smells good. You still don’t process that he’s confessing his romantic feelings towards you. He again tries to massage your back to distract you more, making you start squeaking out weird noises and shiver severely. Mako laughs harder with how you are reacting. His laughter felt so wonderful to hear. You felt safe. You start to wrestle with his arms a little, squirming around to stop the massaging. You two start laughing – he kept grabbing you and trying to rub your spine, making you giggle out yelps.

…. You realize why you are afraid of Mako.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
You’re scared of falling for him.


	25. We're All Animals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning yall right now that this is the horniest chapter by far. Yall some hoes

Siebren is so happy to hear from you. He is currently in his home, resting from last night’s partying. He’s wearing his sweater and sweatpants while watching TV. He’s grateful because he had the TV on to drown out the voices. You two talk about small things, like favorite food or what shows to see … Until you suddenly stop responding. He saw you typing, but you randomly stopped. He waited for a minute, two, five, ten … Did he say something bad? He looks back to his texts, seeing if it can be interpreted as bad. No...?

“I like cheese and bread. Not good for me but most of the stuff I like has those two ingredients. Salmon is the healthiest meal I like.”

“Ahh Salmon. Have you heard of pickled herring? It’s a Dutch thing but I love it.”

“What is it?”

“It’s pickled fish basically, but you might find the smell unpleasant if you’re not used to it.”

“I’m searching it up and it’s … Is it in a can?”

“Sometimes or it’s homemade. I love it. It’s sometimes served with chopped onion and --”

That’s how the conversation went. You two were just talking about food. He’s starting to get impatient. He wants you to talk to him more. Not knowing that the whole time you were getting a mental breakdown until Mako calms you down.

Speaking of you and Mako, he’s still trying to tickle you or rub your spine a certain way. You are laughing and flailing around, feeling pain in your abdomen. Mako towers over you, grinning and chuckling at your futile attempts to escape. He didn’t notice himself straddling over you – trapping you under him. You felt happy, which is interesting because you were feeling like utter trash a few minutes ago. He’s doing a great job distracting you from your dark thoughts.

“MAKO IM DYING! – AAAAHHH!!” you screamed, not containing your excitement. He just laughs at you, lowkey sounding menacing. You completely forgot you can just phase away from him if you’re not comfortable … But you don’t want to leave. Mako feels so happy doing this, feeling his whole body warm up and his heart beating. He suddenly pins your arms behind you, trying to immobilize you. You whined in an erotic fashion, arching your back and loving how dominant he is towards you… Until you realize what you did. You turn your head up quickly to look at him. His face is deep red, but it was a bit dark for you to see clearly. Mako realize in horror another problem … He got an erection from what he is doing.

“… LET GO YOU HOE!” you got your composure back, squirming harder against his grasp until you heard him grunt. You’re too shy to look at his face – your ass is right on his crotch, rubbing against his hard-on. You had no idea what’s going on behind you, you just kept squirming and secretly loving how he has you trapped. Mako starts to sweat, not sure what else to do – you kept rubbing against him unknowingly and he’s debating whether to tell you right then and there his feelings or make a fool of himself by losing to his lustful desires. You notice Mako got quiet, worrying you a little.

“What are you screaming about?!” James suddenly burst through the door – only to see in horror at Mako trapping you with his weight.

“… WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THEM?!!” James yelled, Mako quickly letting you go while you lay on the bed limp.

“… I’m trying to give them a massage to calm them down, but they won’t let me,” Mako try to explain while you shake your butt a little, pulling yourself off from him. Mako stifle his noises when you did that, too turn on to think straight. You got on the floor, coming over to James.

“You’re okay James?” you asked innocently.

“Uuh I guess? My head still kind of hurt but the painkillers are helping,” James replied with no problem, getting his composure back.

“Oh good,” you smiled hopefully.

“Anyways uhh Mako – no means NO!” James pointed at Mako, who’s covering half his body with his bed covers.

“I don’t remember telling him to stop ...? We were roughhousing. Horsing around? Playing around … I don’t know what’s the term for it,” you scratch your head. James is squinting at Mako, mostly because he knew Mako has certain feelings for you.

“Horseplaying!” you beamed, finding the right word.

“Oh … Uhh I’m gonna go pee,” James walked over to the restroom. You stood there awkwardly, closing Mako’s door. You are missing Mako’s touch though … Wait wut. You quickly walk over to Mako on his bed, who was watching you nervously. You hug around his neck.

“Thank you for making me feel better, I’ll try not to ever doubt you,” you squeeze him, rubbing your cheek on his hair. Mako blushed, reaching over to hug you back … He’s tempted to slam you back on his bed, but James is around and might make a huge deal out of it. Also, he is not thinking straight, so he has to let you go before he does anything stupid. Mako kisses your cheek suddenly … He realizes what he done. He was going to panic until you shyly reach over to kiss on his forehead.

“Good night bud bud,” you squeeze him one last time before going back to your room, leaving Mako relieved but very aroused.

… James barely got out of the bathroom and went back to the living room when Mako quickly hop on the shower, forgetting his clothing and towel.

* * *

  
You start to get an existential crisis on your bed, wondering if these emotions you have are even legit. You’re too scared of going through heartbreak because they are even worse – it brings the worst out of people. Okay let’s be honest – that turned you on. You love the feeling of being trapped by someone. You love it when that someone is forceful about you. It made your heart soar. You snuggle on your pillow, still missing the feel of his strong hands around you. You got on your phone and see that Siebren texted you … 69 times? You look only to see one new message –

“Are you there?”

You felt so bad for leaving him hanging like that.

“I’m so sorry for abruptly not answering. I got anxious all of a sudden and needed help.”

Luckily Siebren deleted most of the rambling he texted. He freaked out when you didn’t respond back, texting you multiple times to see if you will respond faster. He felt so relieved when he saw your text.

“Oh okay, I was getting worried”

“Yeah I’m so sorry”

“No no it’s okay! You should take care of yourself.”

“What were you saying?... Oh food! Idk I never tried pickled herring. I only ate tuna to make pico de gallo/guacamole. It’s really yummy – but I’m hesitant to make some for myself because of the smell of tuna and avocado.”

“I understand”

While you and Siebren start to talk again, Mako got on the shower finally – he tries to get a cold shower but quickly went ahead and start doing what he needs to do. He strokes his member feverishly, grunting and trying not to make any noise. He focuses on how you felt on his cock, imagining your soft cheeks and squishy body. He was feeling guilty because he really doesn’t want to objectify you like this… But we’re all animals after all. He quickens his pace, reliving everything but with a perverse twist on those memories. You are under him naked, letting him dominate over you while you look so small and helpless under him. And those cute noises you made … He came right then and there. Five minutes. World record for fastest nut probably. He slowly lowers himself until he is kneeling on the shower floor.

… Sad thing is he kept getting those dirty thoughts, but it’s getting worse every day. This is so weird – he’s supposed to be old for fuck sakes. He’s in his forties and he’s jacking off for someone way younger than him. And smaller. He felt like a huge pervert – he just sat in the shower for a long time, disappointed in himself. You wanted a friend, not some creep that is looking for fresh meat or something. He rather kill himself than destroy this friendship over his sexual feelings. No way in hell he’s going to hurt you the same way Claudius did, whoever that fucker is. He eventually got up to clean himself, realizing at the end of it that he forgot his towel again. Luckily James isn’t there to see him, so he just walks over to his room and dries himself before getting dressed.

* * *

“If I ever stop talking, don’t think it’s because I’m ignoring you or got annoyed. Either I got busy, sleepy, or just don’t have the energy anymore. Nothing to do with you,  
you texted Siebren, comforting him with words you like to hear from others.

“Thank you. I’ll try to remind myself of that.”

“I get scared with these kinds of things too, it’s understandable. I’m gonna go sleep now, you have a good night”

“You too, lieveling.”

You place your phone away into your void, getting up to clean up your bed from all the mess. After cleaning up, you went to the restroom to brush your teeth and floss. You finally turn the lights off and went to sleep, cuddling a large pillow up. Lucio is busy looking through his computer, so everything was quiet enough to make you sleep peacefully…

You woke up too early in the morning. It’s dark, but you see this large figure there. Instead of being scared, you just felt good all over. Your heart and soul feel safe and pleasurable all around, loving how good it feels. You squirmed under his grasp, feeling him press himself against you. You don’t mind that you can’t see much besides the bluish dark light from the window. You moan softly, squirming your hips around and arching your back. You love it. You love feeling his presence and how he presses his soft tummy against you. You kept whimpering softly, getting so aroused to the point of—

You wake up while you were in the middle of an orgasm. You squirm around under the covers, clutching the pillow tight and rubbing yourself against it. You whined softly until you realize – Oh shit Lucio is sleeping right there. You blushed hard, frustrated at the fact you can’t masturbate freely. How can these people deal with it? They are young guys too so when do they get the time to get their frustrations out?? You look up and see it’s four in the morning. You went back to sleep, imagining what you just dreamt so you can experience that again.

Your libido always been there, even at such a young age. You remembered how weird of a kid you are because you are already into weird shit like bondage and tentacles. You are one weird ass kid and you had no idea why you been horny since then. However, you always been disgusted at the idea of sex until you were educated on it. Yaoi helped you ease into regular sex stuff, so you have a better understanding on how it works and what kinks are. Your mother only explained the scientific part of sex when it comes to procreation.

“The sperm cell combines with the egg cell,” she said.

But how does that happen though? When and how does that unity even occur? You were really young at the time. It was until sex education and having to watch shitty hentai you found out how babies are made.

So yeah – long story short, you were always a horny ass person. Just so happened that you don’t feel attracted to anyone that way and the few times you did was … Yeah it was a mess. You get attached, heartbroken, betrayed, etc. You have a high libido, but you don’t like anyone that way. You only like fictional characters for some weird reason. You only orgasmed in dreams or when you were watching bondage videos. You were r e a l l y into bondage. You almost confessed that fact to your friends back at the burger place. You can only nut to bondage and you have no idea why. Maybe you are too lazy to masturbate correctly or even reach to a regular orgasm. You’re just weird. You’re grateful for this dream though. You wake up reluctantly. Another reason why you are always sleeping is because being aroused makes you sleepy, explaining why you get too lazy to reach climax. You were going to sleep more until suddenly you remember …

* * *

Brigitte was making herself some tea when she heard tapping on her living room window. She went over curiously, moving the curtain up to see where the noise is.

… She quickly opens the window.

“Hey! I know you!”

“Good morning ma’am, uhh I want to ask if Mei is okay,” you asked, trying to sound clear as possible. You were wearing shirt and shorts, appearing sleepy.

“Oh, she was feeling sick yesterday, but I’m sure she will be okay today. She didn’t wake up yet,” Brigitte assures.

“What’s your name again?”

“Brigitte.”

“Oh okay, I’m bad with names – I’m (y/n).”

“No problem, pretty name by the way!”

“Thank you, tell Mei I hope she is doing okay,” you nodded, going back to Lucio’s window.

“I will! You have a good morning!” Brigitte waves at you from the window. You went back to the room, closing the window and going back to sleep… What was the man in your dream anyway?-- …. O h n o. You whined softly, hugging your pillow tight. No no nooo… You were horny for Mako. It didn’t help that you actually d i d felt turned on when he restrained you, wanting to get f u cke d that way – what the fuck why are you being such a wEIRDOWHFUjjjjjjj –  
You screamed into your pillow, getting really embarrassed at yourself. Nooo … You not only think Mako is handsome; you are also sexually attracted to him, which only happened twice in your lifetime. You want to feel him grab you and restrain you again – but you didn’t want to destroy that friendship because of your stupid horniness. You are happy being just his friend, right? Just friends, you just wanted him to be happy. You will love him in an agape kind of way – you love him because you want him to be happy. He must be repaid for his kindness in a healthy, righteous manner.

… You really hope he loves you back, despite how much you didn’t want to care.


	26. Talks about Crushing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alot of talk about relationship statuses and stuff. 
> 
> Mako and you are still horny so be aware lmao yall some hoes

Mako had trouble sleeping last night. James came over to sleep earlier, so it was quieter that night than usual. Mako is angry at his own body for suddenly functioning like some 20 year old fuckboi. He’s a fat fuck for fuck sakes. So how? And why? Nothing, not even the radiation, have stopped his libido from coming back. Why doesn’t he have erectile dysfunction by now? Everyone else around his age is getting it, so what the fuck? He twists and turn on his bed until he finally falls asleep at some point, but he woke up exhausted. He stays being on his bed, not feeling like getting up. James got up to shower, surprisingly. He felt grosser than usual. After showering, he got dressed and dry himself so he can go out. He walked over to where the girl’s dorms are, knocking the door. The door opens by Fareeha.

“… Good morning,”

“G’day mate, uhh I just came over because I wanted to see if Mei is okay,” James nodded, standing straight instead of slouching. Fareeha nodded, coming inside the dorm to call Mei over. Mei eventually appears at the door, surprised to see James.

“Hey Mei!... You okay?” James asked shyly.

“Uh, yeah. I felt terrible yesterday though,” Mei replied, yawning.

“Same.”

“… You know, (y/n) came by to ask about me too earlier today.”

“They care about others. Very sweet.”

“Mmhmm… Uh James?”

James nodded.

“Are you inlove with them?”

“Oh uh … Mako would kill me if that is the case. In other words, nope. I look at them like a little sister to me,” James answered honestly.

“Why would Mako get mad?” Mei asked curiously.

James suddenly realize what he said, looking at Mei wide-eyed.

“… Well?”

“Uh … Because he’s overprotective of them! Yeah, that’s why he would get mad at me!” James laughed, trying not to get Mako’s secret out.

“But you don’t have a crush on them?”

“I only have a crush for y… Explosions??” James shrugged and gave an embarrassed smile. Mei chuckled a little to his response.

“Why you asked?” James tilt his head.

“Huh? Oh no reason, just curious,” Mei shrug, trying to look uninterested.

“Oh okay! But yeah, glad you are feeling better,” James smiled happily.

“Thank you,” Mei nodded, smiling a little.

“I’m gonna go back to my room, you have a good morning Mei,” James grins before turning around. Mei said her goodbyes too before closing the door.

* * *

You woke up late again because of your horniness making you sleepy, liking that you have nothing to do today. Lucio is already on his computer, working either on his homework or figuring out what to play for future shows. You snuggled in bed, hugging your pillow tight. It was until later you try to get up, telling yourself that you will eat a yummy breakfast. Food always motivates you for everything. You got in the living room, pulling out containers with the breakfast while you pull out stuff for yourself. You got yourself pancakes, a breakfast bagel sandwich, coffee, h a s h b r o w ns, lots of hashbrowns…. James came back home to see you serving stuff.

“Oh hey James! I’m a magician!” you jumped up.

“Smells good! What you got?”

“Pancakes, uhh I can pull out anything else if you want,”

“I’ll get the pancakes, it’s cool,” James nodded. You give him a plastic container with a sausage and biscuit on the side of the pancakes. You two ate your breakfast together, sitting on the floor while you two eat the food on the coffee table.

“James.”

He looks up in attention.

“Is Mako sharing his penis online?”

James chokes, starting to wheeze.

“Well? Does he have 69 girlfriends and boyfriends online gargling his weenus everyday to entertain his pathetic lonely life?”

James kept laughing loudly. You sat there tight-lipped, squinting away the amusement in you.

“James. Is he single? Is he truly alone? Unmarried? Sad?” you tilt your head, trying to look as cold and emotionless as possible.

James is slamming his fist on the coffee table, cackling so hard to the point that his stomach hurts. You kept staring back at him, slowly blinking.

“SEE?! THIS IS WHY I LIKE YOU! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WILD!” James kept laughing and slamming the table. You rub your face, not sure what else to ask. You’re too shy to ask him directly. Also you are scared that Mako lied to him and he actually is as fucked up as Claudius is.

“James … Please don’t assume anything but isn’t Mako married or something?” you asked shyly, still rubbing your eyes tiredly.

“Huh? That guy is single than a pringle, the poor fella,” James answered, getting another huge bite of his burger.

“You sure? No online girlfriend? No dating around?”

“He’s a pretty closed off guy, but he doesn’t seem to be the dating type,” James kept eating his food until he got an epiphany… Mako is single and is madly inlove with you. You are asking about his relationship statues. Could this mean …?

“What about you?” James asks curiously.

“I never had a decent relationship because everyone is garbage,” you replied coldly.

“… Yeah, I’m single too,” you relaxed, shrugging.

“Ready to mingle?” James smiled.

“Yes,” you nodded, not seeing the point of hiding anything from him. James beamed – can he make these two finally be together? Are you even okay with it? But you were asking about his relationship status, that means something! He eats his food, imagining being the best man in Mako’s wedding and being responsible for something huge to happen in Mako’s life. You ate your food also, loving how yummy everything is. Speak of the devil, Mako stumbled out of his room while yawning.

“You are so fucking loud,” Mako commented in annoyance, coming to sit on the couch.

“What do you want for brea—brunch? Is it breakfast or brunch…?” you wondered.

“What you want to eat? There are pancakes and sausages and a bunch of these potato… thingies! They are so good!” James pointed out at the food. Mako reach over to get the plastic container with the pancakes, scrambled eggs and sausage. You have him a fork and knife to use. That’s when James look up and noticed … You look at Mako in such a loving manner. Your face is completely at peace, your eyes dilated and kind. Mako eats his food obliviously, liking the pancakes. He really r e a l ly wants to tell Mako right then and there than you probably are interested in him, but he needs to be patient and be extra sure.

“Uhh – You lesbian?”

Mako snap his head towards James. You just shrug.

“I’m gray-ace.”

“What?” James blinked.

“Uh… I’m only attracted to people very …. Very…. Rarely. Like it’s only been two or one… Time? I never had a decent relationship,” you explained.

“What you said you are?”

“I’m gray-asexual. Asexual is a person that is not sexually attracted to nobody. I rarely ever feel that way, but it happens rarely. Specifically demisexual. I know I sound like a special snowflake dumbfuck but that’s the best I can explain my weird situation,” you added further to the explanation.

“No no, keep going! This sound interesting,” James cross his arm on the table, his attention to you. Mako looks at you curiously as well.

“Yeah. Demisexual is the same as gray-asexual, but that means that I’m attracted to people I got a connection with. Like a very special connection to. Not everyone feels that way when it comes to dating. They date multiple people without a thought. I like that part of myself because I can genuinely love someone in a fairytale kind of way…? It’s sad that it’s seen as stupid in the society I grew up in. I was different for that,” you munch on another hashbrown.

“Oh, buddy …” James stoop a little.

“Apparently this universe is cold and sad and eughh…” you frowned in annoyance.

“… So I’m gray-asexual?”

You and James look at Mako. You beamed a little.

“How so?” you asked, intrigued.

“I barely ever think about dating. I only fell for people once or twice in my lifetime,” Mako shrug.

Your eyes brighten, seeing that someone as old as him is accepting of it. James sits there excitedly because he really wants you two to be together.

“So you don’t have 69 dating partners online?” you asked flatly, your expression quickly turning blank.

“(Y/N)!! HE BARELY USE THE INTERNET – PFFFF!~!,” James starts laughing violently again while Mako looks at you with a brow raised.

“Uhh no. I’m an asshole but I’m not a scumbag,” Mako went on to eat a hashbrown. Mako didn’t notice you moving around until you got next to his leg, placing your chin on his thigh.

“You’re a sweet guy,” you commented tiredly.

“He is, isn’t he?” James nodded in agreement.

Mako looks down at you shyly, not sure how to respond.

“Oh, I doubted you again. Can you slap me or punish me in some way?”

Mako swallowed hard, clearing his throat roughly.

“(y/n) p l e a s e! You’re going to kill me if you keep this up!” James snickered, shivering. Mako is trying not to start acting up, shaking his legs despite your chin still being on his right leg. You like the vibration though, so you just stay put.

“Mako stop being mean to yourself, you are a handsome boi. You have decent friends. You in a decent school. You’re fine,” you pat his knee, closing your eyes.

Mako only grumbled a little, still shaking his leg.

“Listen to them, Mako,” James smiled sweetly.

“Is there any orange juice or something?” Mako asked hesitantly.

You pull out a carton of orange milk from thin air, giving it to Mako.

“… Thank you,” Mako get the orange juice, opening it to gulp the whole thing.

“… Am I making you uncomfortable? I’m sorry,” you apologized, feeling awkward because Mako is being quiet. He always been quiet, but it suddenly bothers you now. Mako quickly turns to you and notice how sad you look, so he quickly places his hand on your head to give you pets and head scratches. Your face turn to instant bliss, loving the affection he is giving you.

After breakfast, you cleaned up the area with the help of Mako and James. You three sat on the couch to watch some shows. You didn’t notice how clingy you are to Mako suddenly. You rest your cheek on Mako’s arm, holding it tightly. Mako doesn’t mind. He’s been feeling at peace with you. All he wants is to love you appropriately and see you smile more. It’s rare, but your smile is so genuine and bright. You always looked sad or bored out of your mind, which is how you feel most of the time unfortunately. You kept cuddling up to him closer, closer, closer … Putting yourself under his arm and squeezing yourself against his soft side. James is too focused on the TV to see you two, but Mako is loving the attention you are giving him. He willingly rubs your side while you stay under his arm. He then slowly tickled your spine, making you flinch and do that “euAAhhyuuuguu” noise. You reflexively arched you back. James snorted, hearing you make that weird noise while Mako chuckled. You pouted, lowering yourself a little to lay your side on the couch but still holding onto Mako’s tummy.

You were always attracted to chubby people, well, fictional chubby characters. They are so soft and cuddly and cute! You remember how happy you get when seeing round people, thinking of them as being so cute and beautiful. Mako is so round and soft and the best part is he’s muscular in the arms. He is the best of both worlds. Your heart race excitedly, nuzzling your cheek on his chub.

James at some point got off the couch, stretching out before going to his room. He needs to do his homework and do other productive stuff, so he just left you two alone. Mako stay still on the couch, not wanting to disturb you. You are so cute and beautiful, your curves only making you cuter.

“Wake me up.”

Mako blushed when you quickly sat on his lap, feeling your soft butt cheeks against him again.

“I’ll let you massage my back, it’s cool,” you shrug your shoulders, not noticing how weird Mako is acting.

“Okay..” Mako murmured

… He slowly put his arm on your shoulder, rubbing circles on your back with his thumb. You arch your back, stifling your dumb noises. He lowers his hand to do the same on other areas of your back. You arch some more, humming softly. Mako can feel his erection coming back. Ughhh why do you have to be so sexy? Your curves, those beautiful soft noises you are making, your fluffy hair, your soft skin … Mako is throbbing at the fact you are this close to him. You whined when he got to your lower back, rubbing that part with his thumbs. You shivered on him, whimpering softly.

“Mmmph you’re so hot,” Mako grumbled roughly.

“H-huh?” you turn a little.

“Uhgu uhh … You have a lot of knots,” Mako chuckled nervously.

“I know, my posture sucks,” you nodded.

He’s trying his best not to start bucking his hips on you, his hands starting to shiver. He didn’t notice how ragged his breathing got. You shivered at the feel of his hot breath on the back of your neck. You arch your back still, also loving how close you are to him. You knew this is weird, but you are so touch-starved.

“I … I’m not really good at this, I’m sorry,” Mako commented shyly, not sure what else to do in this situation.

“I love it, keep touching me,” you breathily replied. Mako gulped, his cock throbbing from the sound of your voice. He’s really trying his hardest not to grab you and start dry humping you or something – Or squeeze his cock inside you. Mako wraps his arms tightly around you suddenly, squeezing you in. He pushes your down, rubbing his throbbing member against your soft cheeks and your warm core. You strangely didn’t start protesting … You move your hips side by side, driving him more nuts. Suddenly Zenyatta and Baptiste comes out of their room, leaving out the door. Mako stopped temporarily when that happened.

“… Oh yeah I have homework to do,” you commented, squirming against Mako’s grasp. He reluctantly let you go but is surprised when you turn around and hugged him. Mako hugs you back tightly. 

“Thank you for the massage, I feel much better,” you nodded, smiling innocently before going back to your room. Mako sat on the couch, looking back at the TV stunned.

… Why do you have to be such a tease? It’s like you know what you are doing to him.


	27. The Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alot of talk about the past, specifically of Olivia's and Mako's past.

You got busy with doing some sketches and other assignments. You work better under pressure. You must go back to the stuff you learned in trigonometry class to do the architect homework you need to do. It’s evening again, Sundays being boring as usual. You suddenly get a text from … Olivia?

“Hey it’s Olivia. I’m hanging out at the top of the dorms building if you want to hang out.”

Well, you were almost done with your work. You decided that it’s cool for you to take a break. You put your sweater on and phase through the window, flying up to the top. The day is getting darker everyday the closer it gets to the Winter season. You love how cold it is. You got up on the building and spot Olivia kneeling, looking at her violet computer screens. You float towards them until your toes barely touched the ground.

“Olivia?” you asked shyly.

Olivia turns, smiling when she saw it was you.

“Hey, you doing okay?” Olivia asks, patting the spot next to her.

You hummed and nodded, kneeling next to her.

“I feel like I can trust you, especially since I have to learn a lot about you for the past few weeks,” Olivia commented, still looking through her files.

You just shrug, not knowing what to say.

“I wouldn’t take it personal if you told me you are afraid of me. I know it’s something that is hurting you specifically, not something to be angry about,” Olivia commented.

You avoided her gaze, scared that what happened between you and Geila happens again.

“Do you want to know why I’m a loner?” Olivia asks.

You lift your head a little, although hesitantly.

“I don’t see the point either. I find other things important while friendship is at the bottom of the list. I lost my parents to the Omnic Crisis – was too young to remember though. All I remember is my love for computers. Hacking specifically. No one can hack like I do,” she monologues.

“People are always judging the ones that don’t stand out,” you commented.

Olivia pull out a file and squeeze it in between her fingers.

“Very cliché of a mindset, but humans never cease to be predictable,” you added.

“Exactly, people are predictable. And easily manipulated,” Olivia replied coolly.

“Are you an exception?”

“Of course not. Anything and everyone can be hacked, including myself.”

You nodded in understanding.

“I would give you advice on how to be less likely to, but it will only make you lonelier.”

“I’m already alone,” you mumbled.

“No. You have to be with them, for your sake.”

“Who?”

“Mako and Jamison. Those two cares about you, including me,” Olivia looks at you softly before turning back to her screen. You didn’t know what to respond to that.

“… Do you have any other friends?” you turn to look at the sky. The stars are appearing slowly to you.

“Before Jamison? I hang out with Gabriel and Amelie, but it’s complicated.”

“I’m kind of scared of that implication.”

“Let me guess; you’re worried that I’m going through the same things you did? Ehh, they don’t like my personality. Too serious the two. It’s hilarious pranking them but they grew to resent me,” Olivia discussed, not faze by their coldness.

“Oh …”

“Speaking of Gabe – be careful tomorrow. Might get too crazy.”

“How so?”

“Gabe is planning a riot on campus.”

“Huh? How? And why?” you turn quickly to Olivia.

“He’s mad that he didn’t get what he think deserves. He’s part of the creation of this university, believe it or not. But he’s still a selfish brat, pfff,” Olivia chuckled at the situation.

“Don’t … Don’t hang out with those people anymore if they can’t appreciate you,” you suggested, getting upset for Olivia.

“Alrighty. I’m not really attached to them anyway; only friend that’s closest to me is Baptiste” Olivia shrug.

“He’s in our dorm!” you beamed up.

“Heh, yeah. He was also an orphan because of the Omnic crisis, so we can relate to one another. I’m not sure how he feels towards me though, so keep that between us,” Olivia faltered a little.

“Why are you vulnerable to me? How do you know you can trust me?” you asks with a soft tone.

“I know everything about you – there is not a single speck on you. I only saw your school records from over 60 years ago. I don’t know why you act like you must have done awful things,” Olivia shrug a little, smiling at you.

“… Didn’t you go through my Discord?” you asks timidly.

“Huh?”

“Discord. It’s an app from my time. A lot of drama is on there,” you rub your hands.

“Yeah I did.”

“So you saw my ass?”

“Huh” she didn’t even turn to look at you.

“My nudes”

“wh … Maybe? I’m distracted because I got into this weird rabbit hole and uh … Let me tell you, the people you were with are really sketchy,” she admitted.

“Sorry you saw my ass,” you look down on your fragile nails.

“Pfff it’s alright! You have a nice ass anyway, so no big deal,” Olivia chuckles, smiling innocently.

“I am a whore,” you said out of the blue flatly.

“(Y/N), the guy and girl you talked to are serial cheaters that try to excuse their behavior through getting sympathy,” Olivia looked you straight in the eyes.

“They purposefully get with people that are already in a monogamous relationship, homewrecking the shit out of them, then get sad when they don’t get what they want. I found way more interesting stuff about them than I did for you. All I ever saw for you is how people don’t seem to check up on you or arguments people dragged you in,” she explained further. You look up, kind of in denial on how you are free of any fault.

“Also, might need to let you know – you talked about how you got kicked in a server because it was going to get “deleted”?” Olivia asks.

You look up sheepishly before nodding.

“The bitch is lying. She never deleted it,” Olivia stated bluntly.

“… Thank you for confirming my suspicion. That fight we had happened because I was too scared to ask her for the truth,” you look back down, still feeling something stuck in your esophagus.

“She was only a plaything to that dumb guy she’s obsessed with,” Olivia turn to her computer.

“I know, but people around her are just as stupid as she is to do anything about it,” you muttered, getting angry at the memories.

“You need to be more confident, tell people how it is. Real friends listen to you, not abandon you out of anger,” Olivia assures, rubbing your back softly.

You nodded a little, hoping you do have the strength and wisdom to fight against ignorance.

“You have every right to be angry at those people. You have every reason to … You deserve to feel whatever you are feeling.”

* * *

You went back down to the window – you walk over to Lucio’s room. You noticed Lucio isn’t on his desk anymore. You kept forgetting to ask him why he was playing old music last Friday. You did the finishing touches and check over your homework, checking to see if there is anything to do. You put it back in the void, so you don’t forget about it. You were going to walk to the living room for water when you saw Mako standing on the door. You freaked out a little before you can process who he is, levitating away from the door while you flail around.

“Makooo! What chu want!” you pouted, tiptoeing back to him.

You made an “eep” sound when he suddenly grabs you, walking up a little to place you on your bed. He crawled on top of you, your eyes quickly dilating while you squirm happily under him. Why do you feel that way towards him?? You only knew this mofo for what … two weeks at most? Mako abruptly stops what he is doing, still hovering over you with a blank stare. You didn’t try to push him way – you just lay there with your eyes closed, stifling your whines.

… What are you not fighting back? Of all the times you been afraid of him, why are you being this submissive to him now? This is weird. He knew he is acting like a dumbass because he’s still too horny.

“… Why you keep teasing me?”

You just glared back at him, pursing your lips subtlety. Those wonderful, soft plump lips. He wants to kiss or feel it around his d--- You smack your hands up to his face, covering it up.

“D-Don’t look at me like that, it makes me feel weird!” you whined, trying not to giggle at the situation. You push against his face while you crawl away from him. Your backed against the wall next to your bed, Mako not flinching from you covering his face. He gently raises his hands up to hold yours, putting it in his fists. Mako looks down on the hands, staring at it half-lidded and unamused.

“… Your hands are cold,” he commented slowly. You nodded. It’s normal for you to always have cold hands. Mako has no idea how to get out of the situation; should he apologize? Confess? Go on with it…? No, idiot. They are a delicate flower that needs their own space and time.

“Sorry if I was being clingy lately … I have a bad habit of getting attached to certain people,” you apologize, also peering down at each-other’s hands.

“… I like it,” Mako grumbled. You look up shyly, blinking your gorgeous deep eyes towards him.

“I’m serious – I get clingy and weird and eughhh…” you shook your head, cringing at how easily attached you get to people to the point of causing mental breakdowns. Mako don’t understand why you must apologize for everything. He’s the one feeling – BEING a creep. If you found out he’s been masturbating to the thought of you, you might go ballistic.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Mako squeeze your hand, making you feel … Loved. You feel loved.

“Thank you. I thought that may be the reason why people don’t like me back,” you shrug. W h o ? Who can ever reject you and your love? Take it for granted and put it in the trash out of selfishness? He killed people for lesser crimes that that! He will take their lives for not only breaking you heart but … But….  
That man that hurt you … He should have treated you as their number one, not some backup plan – he wants to put that fucker on a woodchipper for not cherishing you enough.

“Mako,” you reach your head over to rub the top of your head on his chin. He closed him eyes, feeling your hair on his chin.

“You only knew me for two weeks, why do you treat me better than you treat your best friend Jamison?” you asked curiously.

Mako stay quiet for a hot minute, squeezing your hands into his massive ones.

“… You deserve better,” Mako murmured. You yawned, whining softly while looking down. You’re worried that it might come off as rude, but Mako saw it as adorable. Everything you do is adorable to him.

“I know it’s early but … Can the two of us fit in a bed? I want to cuddle with you,” you look up tiredly, giving the gentlest smile. Mako’s heart skipped a beat, feeling his cheeks heat up. Forget his hard-on, his heart and soul are both throbbing in need. Mako made a weird purring sound, leaning up to lay on top of you. You’re too small and might suffocate – he moves a little to his side, you quickly crawling up to hug against him on the neck. You two kept moving around, but happy to be together. It kind of worried Mako how extremely warm you are sometimes. He ends up being the big spoon, holding you up against his torso while you sleep on your side. He’s trying to tell himself that whoever you choose to be your loved one treats you like a princess… Prince? Like a monarchy… That’s not really gender specific, is it? He wants you to be happy, whether you choose to be with him or not.

… You can’t learn about his past. Who knows how you are going to react if you found out he wasn’t always this amicable? You are going to be even more distrustful of everyone. Mako barely has any memories of who he used to be before the explosion. He knows he used to be normal. He used to be just fine. But then the revolution happened; He was part of the Australian Liberation Front. You knew his general background and his previous diagnosis of radiation poisoning, but you don’t know the gritty parts of it. The specifics. He was a different man. Until this day, he felt guilty for not feeling guilty… Even after Jamison explained to him one day.

“I understand how you are feeling, but would beating yourself up heal the people we hurt? Of course not. There is nothing we can do but learn from our mistakes and move on. That’s the only choice we have if we want to go back to being normal,” Jamison preached, surprising Mako. There are still secrets that he doesn’t really know of Jamison. He’s this weird mixture of crazy and genius, even after recovery. He’s probably predisposed to get mentally affected because he may have other issues before the explosion.

Mako feels horrible because he felt that he had a choice. He felt he is conscious of what he is doing. It’s not some twisted puppet show per say, but an extreme form of a bystander effect. He hates making sense of it because it seems like he’s excusing his behavior. He killed, he hurt, he terrorized, he stole … Except he was conscious and remember everything. Jamison is lucky for not being able to remember everything, because he can move on easily. Mako is lonesome for that reason. Everyone knows what a monster Jamison and he was. They were even hesitant to give us help. I don’t blame them. Junkers think they don’t need saving. He remembers how Jamison is going ballistic, trying to stay away from the medical people. Mako was hesitant to accept help … He comes over to Jamison, assuring him that everything will be okay. He saw him calm down slowly, his breathing evening and his angry amber eyes softening.

Jamison is annoying but … He’s still a brother to him, as stubborn as he is to admit it. He hugs you close, silently thanking you for reminding him that there is still good in him, even before he completely reformed.


	28. The Riot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel Reyes started a war but you think it's dumb af

It was a cold, gloomy morning. It’s either between 6 or 9 in the morning. You were standing around, wearing your favorite jacket next to a man with white hair and a mask. A few people are around with their suitcases or backpacks. They are at the tram stop, waiting for the train to come by to pick everyone up. You felt safe with the man. You walked around, looking at other people, realizing that you did have a suitcase with you. It’s actually a blue plastic Crayola case where you put all your useful art stuff. You took it, running over to the man when the train comes back. You two quickly got on and sat on a row. He took his mask off, placing it on his lap. He has a scar on his face and he have blue eyes.

“You can do anything if you believe in yourself. It’s cheesy, but it’s very concrete in your situation,” the masked man commented. His voice sounds tough but he’s gentle in his tone.

“History repeats itself because people are too scared to be the change; if you want something done right, you got to do it yourself” he kept preaching to you. You listened intently. You couldn’t help but get visions of an explosion, the reason why this man has a mask on. At some point in the dream, you got up on the roof of the train to see a familiar cowboy. You walk over and saw Jesse there. You don’t know his name, but you recognize him.

“Hey, I know you,” you pointed at him. Jesse just nodded, not bothered by your presence. You sat next to him. You felt uneasy around him because he reminds you of the guy that stopped being your friends over the drama. Not Claudius but some guy that’s a victim of him. Long story short, Claudius ends up going out with the guy’s girlfriend, even though they are in a monogamous relationship. Besides how fucked the situation is, he chooses the side of the man that willingly went out with his girl at the time. He’s even still friends with that girl despite how horrible she treated him, even after breakup. What a coward and a pushover. You hate pushovers. Jesse seem to have read your mind because suddenly, you feel safe around him too.

“I promise you that there are better people out there. Just remember that it’s up to you if you want justice to occur; justice ain’t gonna dispense itself,” Jesse commented.

“Sorry that I associate you with someone so cowardly,” you apologize softly, feeling tired.

“None taken. I will continue to be courageous; not just for you but for the greater good,” Jesse smiles softly.

“You have a better understanding of your self-worth?” you asked.

“Sure do. My belt is enough proof of that,” Jesse points at his belt. You look down only to see … BAMF?

“… Bang?”

“Bad ass mother-fucker.”

“O-oh …” you nodded quickly, turning to look at the cloudy skies.

“… Get down, it’s not safe to be up here,” you suggested, taking his hand. He gets up and noticed that there is a tunnel coming along. You phase through the roof of the train with him. You walk over to the man while you hold his hand, him following along to sit across him. You sat back next to the man by the window. The man didn’t protest it.

“You look like you might be a fan of cowboy movies,” Jesse grins.

“I was until I met you,” the man replied.

That sounded mean. You look up at Jesse and the man; they were chuckling at one another softly, easing your anxiety. You look out the window, the weather still cloudy. You like this kind of weather though. You felt so safe around these folks. You lay your head on the glass, getting sleepier … Until you wake up.

You got up but was confused why you can’t move. You look down to see a huge arm wrapped around you and snoring behind you. You snuggled up to Mako. You felt warm, but you snuggle up to him. The alarm of your phone turns on, you quickly pulling up to turn it off. Mako snorts a little, starting to wake up. You squeeze out of his grasp, putting your whole torso over his tummy to wake him up. He doesn’t budge. You gingerly got off him to go take your medication.

You got to the living room to eat a blueberry scone and the cinnamon roll latte you like, watching TV. You quickly saw Jesse come across from behind the couch, yawning and coming over to the kitchen. You walk over to the man. He quickly notices you, smiling down at you.

“Hey there, you slept well?” Jesse asks in a friendly tone. You nodded yes to his question.

“I dreamt you have this belt and you were on top of a train,” you suddenly commented, kind of regretting it with how weird it sounded.

“Sounds awesome, very good image of me … what kind of belt though?” Jesse pays attention to you.

You look up in awe, genuinely relieved that he isn’t creeped out about it.

“Say, can you give me that coffee you gave me that one time? It’s pretty good,” Jesse asks politely. You nodded, putting your hand behind you back and pulling the coffee cup out of thin air.

“Much oblige,” Jesse nodded, receiving the cup.

“B. A. M. F. – The belt with those initials,” you spelled it out, too shy to use foul language around him so early in the day. Jesse’s eyes widen, putting his cup down before quickly going to Hanzo’s room. You were confused, you slowly going to the couch to see what the problem was … Jesse quickly runs out of the room, holding that belt you saw him wearing!

“WH—IT’S REAL?!!” you exclaimed, your surprised stare at his belt.

“YES!” Jesse yells excitedly.

“P S Y C H I C,” you put your index fingers on the side of your head, squinting and having a toothy smile.  
“Maybe I was wearing it the other day? But whatever, do you know what it stands for?!” Jesse is trying not to start jumping on the spot.

“I’m too lazy to cuss right now but yes,” you yawned.

“BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER--!”

“Yes, exactly,” you laughed tiredly, sitting back down on the couch.

“What’s your name again?” Jesse asks.

“I was going to ask you too – (y/n). What’s your name?” you ask back.

“Jesse McCree,” he nodded happily.

“Oh okay,” you nodded along, getting another bite on your scone.

Jesse gets his coffee from the kitchen to sit on the couch, watching the TV screen.

“Why are you never around?” you asked curiously.

“Oh, I’m a very busy man. I have a job, have six classes, go to the gym …” Jesse counts his fingers.

“Good lord,” your stomach turns to the idea of being that hardworking.

“I have to keep moving! I get anxious if I don’t do something,” Jesse laughs a little.

“Do you even have time for friends?” you squint at him.

“Of course! I even have time for my boyfriend,” Jesse smiled.

“Oh, you have a boyfriend! I hope for the best of your relationship,” you nodded happily, hoping it doesn’t end in tragedy or failure.

“Thank ya,” Jesse blushed a little.

“You two are happy?”

“Of course! He’s sleeping in there though, but he’ll get up soon,” Jesse pointed at the room. You squint, getting weird ideas on what they were doing in that room – oh wait James talked about it. He said that on the day he saw you, he ran out the dorm because the two guys start going at it. You didn’t really hear … Anything? You did hear noises from their room few times, but you thought it was just them talking to one another.

James finally gets out of his room, walking over to the kitchen to get cereal. He comes back to the living room, coming over to the couch after you made room as he sat next to you.

“Have you and Mako did something?” James asks tiredly, yawning.

“We cuddled in my room,” you shrug.

James grumbled a little, eating his cereal while Jesse stays drinking his coffee.

“He was acting weird lately,” you sip your coffee in wonder.

“He’s horny for you,” James stated out of the blue.

Jesse chokes on his drink while you laughed, not believing in him.

“Why you laughing?!” James grimaced in a comical fashion, slouching and having his hands up with tense fingers.

“I don’t believe you!” you snickered, Jesse laughing along also. James gave up, realizing that he’s supposed to keep Mako’s secret. He’s always too stupid with those things.

Lucio, Baptiste, and Zenyatta all went out of the rooms. They went to the kitchen to hang out like always, but they responded to your good morning. Hanzo is the second last to get out, seeing Jesse on the couch. Jesse got up and walk over to Hanzo

“I’m going to get breakfast with Hanzo, yall have a good morning alright?” Jesse gave you a gentle smile.

“You too!” you beamed, earning a laugh from Jesse. He holds Hanzo’s hands and went out the dorm. Eventually, the medical students also left to get breakfast.

Mako woke up last, stumbling over to the kitchen for cereal. Mako sat next to James, looking up to start watching the TV and eat his breakfast. You finish your scone and coffee, getting up to dress up for the day and go to Journalism. You said your good mornings to James and Mako, who went to go to the science building. While Mako and James walk over to the science building, Mako noticed that there are people with dark clothing powerwalking past them. Jamison didn’t see the problem, continuing to go to on their way to class.

You left by yourself to Journalism, meeting Lucio and Hana there. You three hang around in post-production. You spend time with Olivia, watching her edit and do other hacking shenanigans. But then she hacked into the security cameras, checking the hallways until – oh that’s a huge crowd of people. Wonder what they are doing?...

Olivia looks around, you follow suit. You don’t hear anything, just students murmuring to one another about their social life or asking for help. You got up, walk over to the window – that’s when you saw another large group of people standing around the courtyard, near the science building. They are wearing dark clothing. You freaked out, thinking that a shooting might happened. But they don’t have weapons…? At least you hope not. You ran to Olivia, pointing at the window. She quickly understood, getting up to see what’s going on.

“Are those the rioters?” you asked quietly.

“Sure is…” Olivia nodded slowly, peering down at the crowds of people coming together.

“… Yeah that’s Gabriel Reyes alright,” she pointed at what appears to be a leader. It’s some guy with a beanie and the angriest scowl. That’s when they start chanting. The whole class start to notice you two, coming over to see what the commotion is about. The students look in awe, even piquing the professor’s attention.

“What’s going on in there?! Why you all on— huh?” Glitchbot got to the window on the side of his desk, seeing what’s the problem.

“Why is he starting a riot? What’s his problem with the principal?” you asked Olivia.

“He was part of the creation of this university. The UN funded the university when it was just an international task force prior to the Omnic Crisis. He said he’s not mad about not being put in charge, but I think he was. I remember how much trash-talk he did about Morrison and the staff. Weird thing is he used to be best friend with Morrison,” Olivia discusses, looking at the crowd.

“Best friend?” you look up to her.

“They were buddies in the military,” Olivia nodded.

“Don’t understand. Did he try to you know … Talk to Morrison?” you squint.

“He always been a maverick, probably not” Olivia shrug.

… You phase through the window, floating towards the crowds to check if they have any weapons or something. It made you uneasy because it reminded you of the social unrest during your time when fascist folks are around. You didn’t see any signs or pins on them, but they have this weird medal. You follow along, being small enough to not be noticed. They kept chanting. You saw some students around, confused about the situation. You walk over to the man front, trying to understand the situation.

You asked a large man about the situation, who’s Akande.

“Only through conflict can we evolve; Morrison is not fit to run this facility,” Akande replied, you notice his thick accent.

“Morrison?” you murmur, following the group.

“Who—where is Gabe?” you asked. Akande points to the front. Yeah, it’s the scowling man with the beanie. You run over to Gabe, no longer afraid of the interactions.

“Have you tried to speak with the principal, or he didn’t listen?” you asked the man.

He ignored you, or probably didn’t hear you.

“Are you kidding me? You are a grown fucking man, and this is how you deal with social problems?” you yelled at him, catching his attention.

The students quickly took notice.

“What do you know, you brat?” Gabriel scolded, turning around to glare down at you.

“You were there when Overwatch was created, so why are you angry at the man when you said you didn’t even care he’s put in charge? Did you grow jealous? Resentful? Have you try talking to Morrison like an adult?!” you scolded him, trying not to cower against Gabriel’s angry stare.

“… None of your business,” Gabriel growled, not answering your questions. He can see your nervous nature, but you kept trying to look at him in the eye.

“The moment you get the whole campus involved, you got EVERYONE involved – including the students,” you pointed at the audience. Some students and professors are at the windows seeing the chaos, including Mako and Jamison.

“Back off,” Reyes pushes you away. That pisses you off quickly. You stretch your hand out only to make everyone trip on one another. You ran off from the chaos, coming across Jesse and Hanzo. Jesse quickly picks you up, placing you behind him. Reyes gets up with an angry grunt, everyone behind him also struggling to get on their feet.

“Hey! Don’t push them around!” Jesse yelled.

Genji went to Jesse’s side, not agreeing with Reyes. Hanzo is thrown off a little, but quickly stand firm against them. You went in front of them, staring down at the men.

“I don’t take orders from you!” Gabriel snarled at Jesse, pointing an accusing finger at him.

“You got to stop this right now before it gets ugly!” a demanding voice boomed, everyone turning to see him. The students and staff quickly recognize him as the principal, walking alongside the vice-principal … You stare wide-eyed, only recognizing him as the masked man from your dreams.


	29. Conflict Makes Us Stronger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You help stop the riot and also roasts Lena in front of class. You are just roasting people left and right.

The man is standing alongside Ana Amari, the vice principal and second-in-command. You, Jesse, Hanzo, and Genji huddled together. There are three groups staring at one another, like some Mexican standoff.

“Administrative call immediately, either get there or I fire you on the spot,” Morrison warned.

“Why are you ordering around knowing damn well I’m one of the higher ups also, you boyscout?” Gabe growled at Morrison.

“Children, behave!” Ana exclaimed, trying to calm the situation down.

“Administrative. Call. Immediately –” Jack heard a commotion, turning to Akande upper cutting Genji when he got close to your group. That freaks you out enough to stay away, Hanzo coming over to fight Akande. Suddenly other students start fighting against the rioters. You got trapped in the middle of the skirmish, phasing out of the crowd. You stare in confusion because they are adults acting like dumbass kids. Ana suddenly pulls out a weapon and starts shooting tranquilizers at the students, but it’s not enough to stop everyone. Your sensory overload starts messing with your powers, making you trip and almost get trampled until arms grabs you. You look up to see that Morrison is pulling you away from the fights, putting you on the bench close to the science building. He turns quickly to placate the situation – Until you saw Gabe walked behind him and start fist-fighting the principal! You grimace at the two, looking at the ensuing chaos.

… You got time to calm down, focusing on trying to do something. You reach your hands out, using your imagination to figure out how to stop the fight. Suddenly everyone starts ghosting one another, getting frustrated that they can’t punch each-other.

Uh… You try to freeze them and oh! Okay, they are frozen in place. They are visibly confused about not moving anymore. You’re not sure whether to wait until the authorities come along or uhh…

“S-Sir? That was me! Do I leave them like that or what do I do?” you called to Morrison, who isn’t affected by the freezing. A select few people are not frozen.

“The security people are coming,” Morrison assured. He is right – people in bright blue uniforms start running up to them, recognizing one of them being Fareeha. They slowly took everyone into custody, but Genji and his group ran off because you let them go. You felt pity for the rioters, but they could have got people seriously hurt though. When Morrison let you know that the security folks got everything under control, you let go of them.

“Good job, kiddo,” Morrison gave a tired smile, patting your head. You beamed a little to this act of affection. You quickly flew up to Journalism class, getting through the window while Olivia and Lucio help you in. Lucio, Hana, and Olivia look over you since they saw you were caught up in the crowd at some point. You shrug since the worst that happened to you is just you being pushed or shoved.

“Uhh just to let you people know – we need more b-roll because we are missing more footage,” Glitchbot pointed out, still looking out the window.

Everyone is talking to one another excitedly, even on their way to the equipment room. You and your classmates reach to the science class, so happy to see your best friends and Siebren. Siebren’s heart swell when you walk up to him to say hello. He gave you a pack of stroofwaffle, rustling your hair and letting you go. You walk over to Mako and James, pressing your head on them.

“You’re okay?” James asks. You nodded yes. After the production team set things up and everyone got to their seat, class starts.

“So uhh …. Heard about what happened recently,” Winston chuckled nervously. Everyone quickly starts talking to one another excitedly about it, even the production team members.

“This person right he—” you shush at Lucio, who’s trying to let everyone know about the situation. Lucio giggled at your attempt, but respected your wish.

“Was Mr. Reyes the one that started it?” Winston asks, Harold and Siebren looking at one another.

“Gabriel been telling me about it, yeah,” Olivia confirmed, looking through her files.

“Why didn’t you tell the authorities about it?”

Everyone got quiet and turn to Lena, who is glaring down at Olivia. Olivia didn’t answer her questions. It’s not that she doesn’t know the answer, she just chooses to ignore her.

“Let me guess … Because you know you are a thief and a dirty hacker,” Lena snarled at Olivia.

“Can you stop being a bitch to her you dumbfuck?”

Everyone quickly turns to you, who is visibly annoyed at Lena’s actions. Even Lena is shocked to hear you curse her out. The professors’s jaws dropped.

“Stop being a bully to Olivia, I’m not even saying that because I’m biased. You’re just being an asshole out of personal reasons,” you glared at Lena.

“Do you even know what she did?! She stole from Winston and broke through the school system numerous times,” Lena accuses Olivia. Jamison is intrigue by your sudden bouts of courage.

“Go to the police then,” you said flatly.

“She can’t! This stupid drama is already solved by the administration, even Winston told you to stop complaining about it!” Jamison joined in, wanting to make you feel less alone. Mako grunted in agreement.

“Then at this point, Lena is just being hateful towards this person because she wants to. Period,” you blinked, not amused at this situation.

“Winston didn’t have a choice because the administration ultimately owns everything, but it’s still his invention! It’s not fair for him or other scientists,” Lena counterargued, Moira shrugging and raising her brows in agreement.

“How you know that man is going to have your back the same way you have his?” you tilt your head with a blank expression.

“THIS. This chronal accelerator is proof of that,” Lena pointed angrily at the machine on her chest.

“That’s debt,” you murmur a little.

“No, it’s gratitude,” Lena pointed out.

“Just stop being a bully towards that person. You’re acting as if she broke into your home to steal your 2010 television,” you quickly raise your chin up, realizing you are cowering to your usual self.

“She IS a thief,” Lena pointed accusingly at Olivia.

Olivia continues to ignore her, the students looking up at you.

“Why did you even butt into this?” Lena glares at you.

“Because it’s suddenly everyone else’s business the moment you start being harsh towards this person in front of the whole class,” you answered. A few classmates shrug, agreeing with you.

Lena didn’t respond right away.

“And according to James and everyone else, this isn’t the first time you act like a bitch towards your own classmate,” you glared back at Lena, trying to stay brave and be the person you want to be.

Mei stare wide-eye, Moira rolling her eyes since she’s not surprised.

“I’m glad I’m not in this class because I’m here in this university to learn, not witness some dumb drama fest like it’s high school,” you scolded.

“Hey hey hey, it’s cool, I’ll talk to her about it,” Winston try to placate the situation.

“Maybe she’ll listen to you, I don’t know …” you grumbled, hopping off the desk to walk out of the room. Winston took Lena to his office while Mei ran after you, the students looking at one another in surprise before talking excitedly. Mei saw you not too far off, slouching at a wall.

“Uh… (y/n),” Mei asks for you shyly. You look up at her with a fearful expression.

“… Sorry for being that aggressive,” you mumbled, feeling yourself returning to your submissive state.

“I … I never saw you this aggressive,” Mei murmured.

“… I’m used to being pushed around or let bad things happen. I’m tired of being that person,” you respond, rubbing your upper chest to where your heart is.

“Are you friends with Olivia?” Mei asked softly.

“Yeah, but I got angry because it’s stupid that people never let go of things,” you look on the floor.

“I understand,” Mei nodded.

“… Sorry for yelling at your friend. I’ll delete her contact from my phone since she probably hates me by now,” you frowned.

“She’s just too overprotective, but it’s … It’s okay! I understand you,” Mei try to comfort you.

“It’s cool if you don’t want anything to do with me … Don’t lie to my face,” you stare right on her eyes.

“No no no I was just worried for you because you’re usually so distant and quiet,” Mei try to assure you.

“I have people lied to me all the time or give me the silent treatment for standing up to what’s correct, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you humans do the same,” you turn back to the wall. You felt Mei’s hand on your shoulder, you turning to look at her.

“I’m still your friend,” Mei asks.

“I … No, you’re friends with Lena. I don’t want you to feel any pressure, you have school to worry about,” you shook your head, murmuring still.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t like Lena and she probably don’t like me at this point. I don’t want you to get caught up in this bullshit, I don’t want you to get stressed out or pressured to take sides,” you explained worryingly.

“I’m okay!” Mei kept reassuring.

“Mei, you knew Lena longer than you knew me. I wouldn’t be surprised if you took her side or is more trusting of her. Don’t feel pressured to be my friend out of courtesy,” you explained.

“But I can still be your friend! Sometimes people don’t get along, and it’s okay!” Mei holds your hand.

“I have dumbass ex friends that lie to my face about being unbiased, so be sure it’s not going to affect your mental health. Why you call yourself a friend if I barely talk to you?” you asked blankly.

“You asked about me when I was getting a hangover, even help me get back home,” Mei explained.

“Oh … I thought that’s just common courtesy,” you scratch your head.

“(Y/N), it’s okay, I will still be your friend,” Mei squeeze your hand, giving you a warm smile.

Seeing how genuine her body language and expression is … You sighed, patting your other hand on top of hers. You’re surprised she didn’t start yelling at you or act entitled.

“I been hurt, sorry you have to witness that and also I’m sorry for being so cold,” you apologized hesitantly.

“You’re like me,” Mei giggled. You look up curiously at her.

“I apologize too much,” she specified.

“Oh … Don’t think everything you do is a mistake, you’re a scientist. You’re already accomplished a bunch,” you comforted her.

“See?”

“Huh?”

“You are nice!”

“Oh … I’m not mentally stable, okay? I hate myself too much,” you explained shyly.

“You can have my number! You can talk to me about anything if you need any help, even personal problems,” Mei pulls her phone out. You nodded timidly, pulling your phone out to exchange numbers.

“Same to you.”

“Hmm?”

“You can vent to me about anything. I don’t give any advice unless you ask me to, I usually just listen,” you specify.

“Okay! Uhh I’m gonna go back to class but you can leave if you’re too stressed,” Mei pats your shoulders. Mei didn’t notice Siebren walking over until you look behind her.

“(y/n)? You okay?” Siebren asks softly.

“You don’t have to come back, it’s okay,” Mei continues to appease you.

“Why you people worried for me? I’m the one yelling at that poor girl,” you stare questionably at Siebren and Mei.

“(y/n), you made some good points. Take it from me,” Siebren comes closer.

“Everything is fine, don’t worry about it anymore,” Mei comforted you. It trips you out how nice these people are being. People in your previous life are usually so cold or harsh.

“I can watch over them, you can go back to class Dr. Zhou,” Siebren nodded at Mei.

“Thank you! Feel better soon, (y/n),” Mei waved, going back to class. You put your phone away before you suddenly get crushed by Siebren’s arms.

“Lieveling …” he purred softly, petting your head. He placed his ear on your chest, closing his eyes and sighing happily.

“There is a universe in you, I can hear it singing to me,” he muses, rubbing small circles on your back. You made that weird noise, shivering. That earned a chuckle from him. You squirmed in his grip, Siebren placing you flushed to his chest.

“Hey”

Siebren didn’t hear the deep voice behind him. You couldn’t see anyone because Siebren is blocking your view.

“Hey professor Kuiper! Have you seen (y/n)?” you recognized that voice as James’s. Siebren is still not paying attention to anyone. Jamison and Mako went out the class to look for you, worried about you.

“… Siebren? Are you freezing in place again?” James asks, confused over Siebren’s lack of attention. You squirmed against Siebren still, until you heard him growl. That confused you and James even further.

“… Mako, I think he’s losing it again,” James asks, confirming to you that Mako is also behind Siebren.

“Siebren, I’m okay – let me go, it’s cool,” you pat Siebren’s shoulder.

“Oh (y/n)! There you are,” James laughed, not sure why Siebren is holding you against him.

Mako got paranoid, grabbing Siebren’s arm and making him turn to him. He saw he’s just holding you on his chest. He got worried that he was doing something else entirely … Mako quickly grabs you and pulls you from him. You yelped but shut up when you heard Siebren yelling something in Dutch. He glared at Mako with malice … Until light returned to his eyes, Siebren fixing his posture and tie.

“… What happened?” Siebren asked, confused on why three people are looking at him worryingly.

“Uhh… Nothing! We were looking for our friend,” James pat Mako’s arm. Mako is still staring at Siebren with distrust. He knew something is not right with this man.

“Let’s return to class, shall we?” Siebren smiled innocently.

* * *

“I never knew you had it in you, (y/n)!” James grins, coming back in the dorms with you, Olivia, and Mako. They came back with lunch from the burger place and Olivia went to hang out with you all. You three are her genuine friends now.

“She’s so fucking annoying like woman, let that shit go! You’re just being a dick now!” you complained, slamming yourself on the couch.

James laughed, sitting next to you on the couch.

“It’s not even because I’m friends with Olivia – I was angry because I’m fed up with her being mean to people for stupid reasons,” you explained.

“Ayy Baptiste is here,” Olivia waved at the man. He smiled, coming over to sit next to Olivia on the coffee table.

“I appreciate you defending me, thank you,” Olivia smiled softly.

“I’m only doing what I think it’s correct,” you shrug, going right ahead and eat your food.

Despite how crazy the day was and how much confrontation has occurred, this was a good Monday for you. You are overall much happy for Olivia, seeing her genuinely smiling for the first time while spending time with her ACTUAL good friends. That’s when you remembered an important part of yourself you completely forgot in you despair; you always wished for others to be happy.


	30. Being in the Spectrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Satya Vaswani and helped Moira with some experimentation.

You went to journalism class that Tuesday morning. You only stuck around with Olivia and the post-production team to give them assistance. You even gave some tips to them about audio and color editing, at least from what you can remember from your previous cinematic art classes. You suddenly remember about Moira’s proposition. Zenyatta did told you to hang out with people more, so this might be a good opportunity to do so. You texted Moira to check if she’s even around.

“I’m going to come by at the science building, is that okay?”

“Of course. You can even come by for lunch”

“I’ll try to come over as quickly as I could. Thank you for letting me know!”

“See you soon.”

You got up from the bed, putting your shoes back on. You walk over to Mako, who is sitting on the sofa and watching TV.

“Mako.”

He looks up.

“I’m going to meet a classmate for lunch.”

He just waves a goodbye at you silently, giving the tiniest smile.

“I’ll come back soon!” you assured. You quickly went ahead and got to the stairs, doing a combination of phasing and flying to reach the building faster. You got there but noticed a huge crowd – you try to quickly ghost through everyone. You then noticed this one woman appearing to be struggling. You close to them. Something about them seem to connect you to them. The girl looks overwhelmed and afraid, not sure what to do. You got your weight back around, despite quickly feeling uncomfortable with how squished and noisy it is.

“I don’t know where I am,” you commented suddenly, struggling to hold eye contact. You look up a bit to see she is also struggling.

“Me … Neither. I’m feeling out of my element,” she replied softly.

You hold her hand hesitantly … Before sprinting away through everyone, leading her away from the crowd until you two reach to a quieter hallway, around where James met you for the first time. The girl is astonished, looking around to see there is no loud noises and crowding.

“Sorry. I noticed you didn’t like the crowd – I didn’t like it either,” you stood around timidly, not looking at her.

“… Thank you,” she turns her head towards you, holding eye-contact for a little bit.

“N… No problem, I don’t like people either,” you look around confused.

“I see you met Satya.”

Satya and you turn to see Moira coming along, pristine as ever.

“What’s her name?” you asked, kind of confused.

“Satya Vaswani,” Satya introduce herself.

“Nice to meet you! I’m (y/n),” you nodded, turning to her so you can pay attention to her.

“You know, you both are part of the same spectrum,” Moira smiled softly.

“Pardon?” Satya turns to Moira while your head just lift itself a little.

“Can you remind me on your condition again?” Moira asks you.

“You mean my high functioning?” you replied timidly.

“Yes, exactly,” Moira pointed out.

“What about it?”

“Uh, (y/n),” Satya ask a bit softly, you turning to look at her direction.

“I’m Autistic too,” Satya points at herself. She watched as your face beam a little to see someone that shares something in common.

“Let’s go to a nearby café, it’s on me,” Moira nodded, posing straight. While following Moira out of campus, you and Satya continue to talk to one another.

“That explains why I love going to downtown. The skyscrapers and buildings make me feel happy while the dirty parts of Houston make me nervous,”

“Understandable. Order brings peace, so you know,” Satya nodded.

“Is it hard for you to make friends?”

“… Friends?” Satya asked timidly.

“I can’t relate to other people. Everything bores me. Talking is boring.”

“I spent most of my childhood just studying and learning. I didn’t see the point in making friends,” Satya shrug.

“Yeah, that was me. I didn’t understand others. Maybe it’s my fault for being afraid of them, but the truth is I didn’t see how it is entertaining.”

“Do you enjoy science?”

“… I liked history and the arts,”

“What kind of arts?” Moira joins in.

“I draw a lot. Helps me understand and convey my feelings better ever since I was a baby.”

“Do you still draw now?”

“Yes. I’m too private of my drawings though because it’s like looking at a person’s diary.”

“Have you tried painting?”

“Yes, watercolor.”

“Satya also is creative, except she is more of an architectural type,” Moira nodded at Satya. Satya walked a bit awkwardly, not sure how to handle compliments.

“Ooh I was interested in architect, but I’m too lazy on the mathematics part,” you shrug.

“But didn’t I saw you in architect class?” Satya pointed out.

… Oh yeah. You forgot you are taking that class, but you didn’t notice Satya there.

“… In Mr. Lindholm’s class?”

“Yes, exactly,” Satya nodded quickly

“Oooh I didn’t see you!” you laughed, genuinely trying to remember the faces of your classmates.

“I’m invisible to most people, it’s understandable,” Satya chuckled along.

“No no! I just don’t care about who’s around. I’m too lazy to process everyone’s faces,” you assured, not liking the idea that Satya might feel just as insignificant as you do all the time.

“I got a ride for us, too much degenerates on the subway,” Moira frowned, a car coming along eventually on the side of the concrete. You went to sit on the back with Satya while Moira is on the front passenger seat.

“I always liked trains and subways – you meet interesting people,” you stated, recalling a nostalgic memory of when you went to a subway with your mother and sister to go to her university.

“Interesting is a kinder way of putting it,” Moira commented.

“pfff… Satya, what is your major?” you turn to Satya. You want to get to know her for who she is. She is more than just “someone with autism.”

“I’m double-majoring. Bachelor of Science and architecture,” Satya replied.

“And for you?”

“Undecided. I just came along, Moira knows why,” you replied back.

“I sure do,” Moira nodded along.

“Moira, was it a class that worked on the time-machine…?”

“Hmm?” Satya looks at you.

“Wait yeah it was, James told me about it and that’s how I found out what happened …”

“James? You mean Jamison?” Moira asked, Satya speaking out the “Jamison” part along.

“… Have I been saying his name wrong?” you asked worryingly. You know how bad you are with names, so you wouldn’t be surprised if you been saying it wrong this whole time.

“Not really, that’s his nickname,” Moira shrug.

“You two know him?”

“Yes, Satya and I are his classmates on that same science lab,” Moira nodded, looking at you from the corner of her eyes.

“Ooh! He’s my roommate and best friend,” you falter a little at the end, feeling weird about calling someone a best friend.

“Jamison is a strange man,” Moira commented without malice.

“I know, that’s what makes him special,” you smiled happily.

“We are here,” Moira announced. You and Satya got out the car while Moira pay the driver, getting out last. She walks in front of you two since her demeanor is that of a true leader. You all sat by the window on a booth, the outside sun not being as punishing because it’s close to Winter – well, it’s Fall. The air is getting colder and you love it.

“The picture frame” Satya pointed at the painting, you turning to see what’s wrong. The painting is on the wall off the right, lined with other paintings and decorations.

“It’s crooked.”

You look at the frame to see how it is crooked. You can see it a little, maybe the center is off because of the nail placement. You look back at the menu, seeing the list of sandwiches and such. You decided on one sandwich that reminded you of something you had at this other café back home. You ask for lemonade too, despite how tempting it was to ask for coffee. Satya got sparkling water and something vegetarian while Moira got Irish coffee with pastry. You haven’t talked much because Satya and Moira have more in common to talk about while you stay eating your lunch. Moira did bring the topic up about the time machine, filling Satya in on your situation. Even then, you focused on eating. You three ended up going to Moira’s home.

“Welcome to my abode,” Moira bowed. You hesitantly came in while Satya pass through the door with no problem. You feel small and too much of a peasant – her home is awfully fancy for you. A lot of space and wide ceilings. Moira closes the door, coming to another area of the house while Satya sat on a couch. You stood around, feeling out of place. Moira eventually comes back, telling you and Satya to follow her. You two do so, following her to downstairs – leading into a large metal door. Moira punched in a code to let everyone in, the door opening. You three enter to see a large science lab of her own. You hope she actually knows what she is doing, like sterilizing instruments and such. You saw glasses full of formaldehyde and preserved specimens lined on this one shelf, some being amphibians or small mammals.

“I was going to ask for your blood samples, but it would turn out inaccurate because you just ate – that’s my mistake,” Moira informed you. You shrug, not really seeing a problem.

You spent most of that day with Moira taking samples of your hair, skin, saliva, and other stuff. She also lets you do certain activities while she watches, Satya also in awe with what you can do. You spent most of the time hearing Satya and Moira speak to one another or you are monologuing about your feelings towards science.

“My favorite place to do is museums. Science museums, art museums, space museums … I always liked to learn, it’s just that I got disillusioned with how much we don’t know about out universe. It scares me the unknown,” you muse, doing an activity on trying to pull out the tiniest matter before placing under a microscope.

“I assure you that science will always reveal the truth,” Moira nodded, listening to you.

“When was the last time you went to a museum?” Satya asks curiously.  
“Back in the summer of 2018 I believe… I went to an exhibit that’s about natural causes of death. Pretty interesting but not for people that might get too paranoid,” you recalled.

“Natural causes of death, I see,”

“I have 68 years to live,” you shrug.

“Eh, it can change with technology or your life choices,” Moira commented, looking through the microscope.

“… I see you did summon a bacteriophage,” she added, seeing the small thing on the skin of your index finger.

“Oh! I heard they are our only hope against supergerms!” you beamed.

“Of course, it was around your time they did more groundbreaking experiments to show how bacteriophage can benefit humanity in their battle against dangerous infections,” Moira smiled as she explains.

“You seem interested in science, why are you not studying a major?” Satya asks.

“I’m too stupid,” you laughed.

“Nobody is too stupid, my dear. I’m sure you are very capable of learning more of such things. You did the first step – curiosity,” Moira reassure, writing something down.

“Actually – It’s because I didn’t have good teachers or a good class when I was in Chemistry and Physics. Physics is the worst. I like learning about astrophysics, especially because of my situation, but I guess I lost hope because of how bad those classes were,” you frowned, remembering this one kid that’s a huge asshole in your physics class. He was so annoying and rude and eughhh, fuck him. Doesn’t help that physics involves math and you have no idea what to make of it because of it. You really don’t like mathematics, but it’s all over the place unfortunately.

“Harold Winston and his coworkers are good professors, I’m sure you will be fine in that class,” Satya smiled softly.

“I already don’t like a student,” you mumbled.

“Who?” Moira asked.

“Lena.”

“Oh her,” Moira said flatly.

“Why you dislike her?” Satya asks curiously.

“First thing she said to me is stay away from a Mexican -- wait I thought you two were there,” you squint at the two. 

"Ooh what happened yesterday?" Satya asks.

"Yes, when I call her out," you nodded.

“Ooh, yeah. Olivia and I are acquaintances … Lena dislikes Olivia because of how overprotective she is of Winston. I shouldn’t be surprised though because she owes him for creating the chronal accelerator to treat her condition,” Moira explained.

“But that’s weird to say to someone you barely meet like wh” you grumbled.

“I understand how … Immature she can be about it. In fact, the two had an argument in front of class not too long ago,” Moira added before asking you to summon a rabbit. You imagine fluff … Fluff fluff fluff. Bun bun. You have bun bun in your hand. You snuggled it a little before handing it to Moira.

“Looks alright – need to check on it and see if its vitals are stable,” Moira murmur, looking at the rabbit.

“Maybe I can tell you more about how I work with my abilities when it comes to my emotions?” you suggested.

“Go ahead,” Moira nodded.

“I have to be calm. The more anxious I am, the more unstable it gets. Like if I start doubting myself. I use my imagination to work with it, but so long as my mental state is okay,” you explained, trying to make sense.

“Oh, that was what Siebren is referring to when he asked about you,” Moira recalled, placing the rabbit in a cage.

“You mean Dr. Siebren De Kuiper?” Satya tilt her head a little.

“Yeah, he’s a good friend too,” you nodded.

“So he knows about your situation?”

“Yes.”

“Of course he did, he introduced them to me,” Moira grins, coming back and removing her gloves.

“I think we are done for today, I’ll let you know about what plans I had for Thursday,” Moira nodded, leading you and Satya out of the lab. You two stick around in the living room for a little bit, telling one another their goodbyes. Moira told you that you might need to fast before Moira sees you since she didn’t get your blood samples. Satya got herself a ride while you flew your way back to the dorms. 


	31. Crazy = Genius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako, Jamison, and Olivia investigates Siebren De Kuiper's past
> 
> Yes, the title is a reference to a P!ATD song. Great song btw

“James, that man is not right in the head,” Mako commented. They are by themselves at the laundry room while you left to hang out with Moira and Satya.

“I think he’s just a weird scientist. Crazy always equals genius,” James shrug, not seeing a problem with the situation while he pulls the bed covers out of the washing machine.

Mako grumbles, also washing his clothing.

“Oh cool, it changed colors,” James look at the bed covers before putting it on the dryer.

“That’s because you pour bleach on it,” Mako said flatly.

“I think the reason why I’m nice about it is because I been in his shoes,” Jamison look up at Mako with a sad expression.

“But you got help. Is that man being monitored?” Mako asks.

“He’s part of staff, so I suspect so,” James turns on the dryer.

“You can’t just assume … Ask Olivia,” Mako suggested out of the blue.

“I thought you don’t trust her,” James raise a brow at Mako.

“… Changed my mind,” Mako replied. His reasoning is because you trust in her, so he’s sure you have a good judge of character.

“Whatever,” James texted Olivia while he waits for his clothing.

After that whole confrontation between you and Lena, Lena excused herself from class while you stuck around to help the production team. Mako kept an eye at Siebren, noticing that there really is something wrong with him. He not only would freeze at time, but he would turn around quickly as if he heard something. He also remembers that Siebren would mumble to himself about voices and music. He’s worried that Siebren is not only a danger to himself but might escalate to be a danger to others. Mako isn’t even stating that because he has some prejudice against the mentally ill. He would have been harsh towards you if that is the case. What scares Mako the most is that he saw Junkrat in Siebren. The Jamison that isn’t sane because of the radiation poisoning, that was Junkrat. 

“Jamison!”

“Oi,” James look towards Baptiste.

“You doing okay? You feel great about yourself?” Baptiste asks, eating a Cuban sandwich Olivia got for him.

“Sure! What about you?” James smiled happily.

Baptiste was the one that monitored and helped Jamison recover. Mako was with the two for a long time, watching as Jamison got more stable. Baptiste helps Mako with his situation, but Angela was the one that is focused on him. Mako only had respiratory and other physical issues from the radiation. Angela did a good job having to make Mako no longer depend on Hogdrogens for survival. His breathing got better, but Angela kept nagging him about losing weight so it will be easier for him in the long run. Baptiste worked on Jamison’s mental state because James couldn’t trust Zenyatta, but Baptiste did consult with Zenyatta to get some tips. Baptiste been through war, so he knew how to relate to others –specifically people who been through war. Baptiste also got help from Angela to treat other physical issues with radiation in Jamison’s body. That’s partly the reason why Baptiste and Zenyatta are Jamison’s dormmates. Mako is not sure whether Jamison knows that Zenyatta is also responsible for his recovery.

You slept by yourself since you needed your own space, which Mako doesn’t mind. He didn’t say anything about Siebren because he doesn’t want you to get paranoid.

Later that Tuesday, Mako and James saw you are still not home yet. Mako and James went to watch TV after they fixed their beds and their closets. James gets a video call from Olivia --

“Hey Jamison,” she greeted James.

“Oh hey Olivia! How are you?” James greeted back happily.

“I’m good. Hey, found some interesting stuff on Dr. De Kuiper. Turns out he was detained at some point around a decade ago,” Olivia posted medical and official documents referring to him, even research done on his powers. Mako is paying attention to Olivia, seeing the proofs.

“Apparently after this one orbital experiment at an international space station, he suffered huge psychological damage – his situation is different from Jamison,” Olivia stated to Mako, noticing him also in the call.

“Not really? We are both dealing with not having most of our sanity intact,” Jamison shrug, still wanting to empathize with Siebren.

“I meant like his situation is more complicated. Baptiste told me you’re just messed up from the radiation. What makes this guy weird is that he ends up getting powers from the experience,” Olivia specified.

“You mean like (y/n)?” Jamison tilt his head.

“I guess, except she doesn’t seem mentally disturb from the experience. You two can go ask her if you want – anyway, not only does he end up getting powers from that incident, but the problematic part about it is that it reacts with his emotions,” Olivia continued.

“What does he do? Is it like (y/n)?” Jamison asked. Mako didn’t like that question because it made it seem like you might be just as dangerous as him.

“Hold on … So according to the research done on him by the government, his abilities are based on gravity. --“Area around him began to experience strange fluctuations in gravity, peaking and dropping in time with his reactions”,” Olivia read out a quote.

Mako and Jamison looks at one another, remembering the few times something moves by itself in class. One incident, the clock snap itself out of the wall only to float there. Siebren just looked at it before pushing it back to the wall. Another incident is when Jamison nudged Mako, pointing at a floating marker before Siebren grabs it. Jamison was rambling about ghosts to Mako the whole time in class – turns out it’s just Siebren’s powers.

You came back at some point, quickly going to your room because you’re bored from all that stuff Moira gets you to do. You didn’t even say hi to the guys. Mako noticed you but needed to listen to Olivia.

“When did he got out?” Jamison asks next.

“Overwatch was the one that helped him get out. They used to be monitoring him 24/7, but then it lowered down to only once in a while,” Olivia answered Jamison.

“Define once in a while,” Mako asks.

“… Once a month,” Olivia answered Mako.

“That means he’s been on his way to recovering, right?” Jamison smiled a little, being a bit too optimistic.

“Or they got lazy,” Mako grumbled.

“I mean I am in the same class as you two. I personally don’t have an issue with Dr. De Kuiper – why you two even asked about the old man anyway?”

“Mako needed to know, probably jealous,” Jamison shrug, Mako furrowing his brows at him in annoyance.

“Jealous?” Olivia asks, not sure what she heard.

“Uhh … Wait no … Wait why did you ask about Siebren?” Jamison turn to Mako.

“You don’t remember him growling at us?!” Mako exclaimed.

“Huh?” James and Olivia squint at him.

“Idiot, you don’t remember that part he growled at us when I took (y/n) away from him?—” Mako got silent, getting up to go to your room. Jamison murmur to Olivia while Mako got in the room. Lucio is busy mixing on his computer while he saw you in your bed drawing.

“Uhh… (y/n)?” Mako pats your head.

You look up at him with those deep, sad eyes.

“Did Dr. De Kuiper scared you when he yelled at us?”

“… Oh so I wasn’t crazy?”

“Huh?”

“I think I heard him yell something, but it was really subtle.”

“He growled at me.”

“… Oh, that’s weird,” you squinted.

“How are you though?”

“I’m tired.”

“It’s okay, rest up,” he pats your head before going back out the living room. You put your headphones back to continue working on your drawing.

“He did, dumbass. Even (y/n) heard him,” Mako scowled, sitting back down.

“Well… What do we do?” Olivia snickers.

“Mako, you can’t … Really judge if someone is okay. Just trust in the university; I mean, they did help me,” James place his hand on himself, referring to himself and his experience.

Mako gave a heavy sigh, at least understanding why this would be of bad taste. You clearly like the guy, so why is he being so suspicious of him…?

Unless Jamison is right; he’s just being jealous. Mako is too stubborn to remember how he got scared when he saw your hand on Siebren’s shoulder. He thought Siebren took hold of your plump lips. He would have gone ballistic if that was the case.

Mako sat on the couch silently, not sure what else to say. Jamison just said his goodbye to Olivia after they talk to one another about their well-being.

“… Oh yeah, Mako,” Jamison place his hand on Mako’s arm. He turns to him, looking down on him unamused.

“Thank you for being there for me this whole time, especially during recovery. I don’t think I would have made it without you,” Jamison gave a gentle, most sincere smile he ever gave to Mako. Mako noticed Jamison’s voice is different, but he recognizes is as his “true” voice.

“… Whatever,” Mako shrug.

“Mako, I’m … Wait, do you know?”

Mako looks at him.

“I don’t remember most of the stuff, I just know you were there since … Wait …” Jamison looks around the room. Mako’s expression softens slowly.

“… Mako, I don’t remember when I met you. I don’t remember what happened. I don’t remember. I just remember – Oh shit, hold on,” Jamison turn his head away, getting into an existential crisis.

… Scary thing is Mako didn’t know Jamison’s amnesia was that bad. He thought he only have selective memory but for him to not even remember their first meeting is concerning. They both met when Mako saved Jamison from the Junker Queen’s goons, getting themselves into more trouble after that.

“… Mako, who am I?” Jamison looks up at Mako.

“… An idiot,” Mako blinked slowly. Jamison was quiet for a second … Then he snickers. Except … His laugh sounds so sad.

It dawned on Mako that he’s been harsh on Jamison this whole time, even after he reformed. He didn’t realize how cold he is to people, only because he hated the world. Mako slowly cover his face, sighing heavier.

“Mako, you didn’t know that part about me? I don’t remember anything, I forgot everything. Why do you think I struggled with classes nowadays?” James pat Mako’s back, only to be surprised that Mako is tearing up.

“… Mako?”

“I was an asshole to you,” Mako murmured, starting to cry.

“… I never see you cry; this is weird …” Jamison commented quietly, but he kept patting Mako’s back.

You came out of your room to place the accidentally summoned cookies into the kitchen for someone to eat. After placing it on the counter, you noticed Mako looking awfully down. You came over and your heart immediately broke to see him tearing up. You quickly ran to his side, snuggling up to his side.

“Jamison you dumbass why you gotta be too nice?” Mako kept pinching between his brows, not used to the feel of tears.

“I would say mean things back too! It’s cool, big buy, it’s okay,” Jamison pats him back.

You can feel him shivering on you – you start to cry too because you feel so sad for him.

“I don’t get it – why did you cry over that? I was just saying I don’t remember stuff,” Jamison shrug.

“Does Baptiste know?” Mako asks clearly.

“I think I wasn’t really all there when it was happening… I’ll let him know, he’s in his room,” Jamison answered.

“Jamison, you don’t get it. I only looked at you as a burden and an annoyance, not realizing that you are fucked in the head,” Mako scolded, angry at himself.

“Mako we were both fucked in the head back then,” Jamison starts to hug Mako.

“Nah I knew what was happening, that’s the fucked-up part.”

“I don’t even remember what you did – I only remember you were always there for me. If I was burden, why didn’t you cut me off when we got on campus?”

“…”

“You even get protective of me sometimes – Mako, you just feel bad because of your past.”

“…”

“It’s okay, Mako. I love you and I know you love me! Just accept my thanks, alright mate?” Jamison smiled with melancholy, patting Mako’s back.

“Not everyone is going to react the same as you – you don’t even remember,” Mako rub his hand on his face.

“Mako … We have friends. There are students here that saw us at our worst and they still welcomed us. There really is no point feeling guilty, it’s fine – I forgive you and … Forgive me if I ever wronged you,” Jamison kept patting Mako’s back, still having his arm stretched around him. This is the first time you been quiet while crying, only being there to physically comfort Mako. Mako is just terrified that you will look at him differently if you found out he was a violent criminal. You suddenly start breathing normally, rubbing your tears away.

“Jamison?” you called to him softly. 

“Hmm?” Jamison looks up at you. 

“Is it about the radiation thing?”

“What about the radiation thing?”

“I got worried because my sister also had issues with memory, because of her clinical depression. You’re fine?” you asked him softly.

“Of course! I’m just saying that uhh yeah, I don’t remember most of the stuff I been through,” Jamison shrug.

“… I don’t know what you two been through, but I would be a hypocrite if I judged you two for your pasts. You two of all people were tolerant of me, despite how weird I get. Thank you for being the bestest friends I ever had,” you cracked a little at the end, squinting while looking at the two guys.

“Aww no problem,” Jamison hold his hand out so you can link yours with his. 

“I love you guys aughhh…” you squint harder, fanning yourself.

“I love you toooo,” Jamison replied, tearing up also.

“Even if I was a violent criminal?” Mako asks coldly.

You look up at him.

“How are you in this school then? That means there is hope for dumbasses like me and everyone around,” you gave a comforting smile.

“My point exactly!” Jamison pointed out.

“You two … Always so optimistic …” Mako rubs his eyes.

“I tend to be pessimistic, it’s okay,” you pat Mako’s back.

Mako felt relieved, feeling your presence right next to him. He felt like he can trust you, love you, tell you about his deepest secrets… You will sit there and listen without judgement, only hoping for Mako’s happiness. He’s so happy to have met you. He loves you so much.


	32. Cracks and Broken Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamison and Mako learns about your sister, so they ask Olivia for help find out if she's still around.

Sister? They said they had a sister. Mako look down at you. He wonders if the person is still around. You three stuck around on TV, comforting one another. You felt like going in your room to draw, still exhausted from the day; but you kept pushing yourself to spend time with these two friends.

“… You had a sister?” Mako asked softly. You look on the TV, nodding yes.

“Older or younger?” he asks some more.

“She’s my older sister. Only sister,” you replied.

… You cringed, remembering something unpleasant. Mako turns to you, slowly putting his arm around you. You squeeze against him, feeling – scared. You suddenly feel scared. You were going to ask something but quickly shut the question down. You kept looking at the TV. Mako stay with his arm on your shoulders.

“You’re feeling better?” you asked softly. Mako nodded yes.

Again, you stifled your voice. You’re not feeling confident. You were going to tell him that you’re not good with comforting others, but you don’t want them to pity you. Biggest reason is because you don’t know everything about a person, so you think it’s not appropriate to be too optimistic when speaking to them. You’re not sure what to do during those times. You just try to listen to these people. It’s the least you can do. You’re not sure how you can comfort Mako if he were to get just as unstable as you. Or Jamison. You don’t know how you can help. How can you help these people when you can’t even save yourself?

Have people comforted you? They tried. It’s the same thing though … Just them saying *hugs* or something cliché like “things will get better” or something. Or the most annoying one – “I’m here for you”. So not only are you starved for affection, you simultaneously avoid it and crave it. You want something different. You want someone to give you special treatment, maybe? Everyone just looks and act the same. It’s boring you. That’s another reason why you don’t befriend with people; you’re not interested in them as people. You just see them as people, that’s it. You don’t feel anything. You couldn’t relate to them or even help them out. You rather spare them the time by unmotivating them not to care for you. There are better folks out there willing to be better friends; you suck as one. People will see it as you being an asshole, but do they really want to waste their time on someone that’s too lazy to put any effort on anything? You know that the worst thing you can do is lead them on, knowing damn well you don’t care about them. You always been like this. You don’t see the point. Everyone is boring, untrustworthy, weak, pathetic …

You got up from the couch, slowly walking back to your room to be by yourself. Lucio is sitting on his desk, working on something on his PC. You lay down on your bed, even though it’s too early. You got a few texts and email notifications.

You don’t feel like it.

You don’t feel like talking to anyone. You want to be by yourself.

… You push yourself to look in your phone. One text is Mei saying hello, one is Siebren texting hello, and … Lena. A text from Lena.

You opened it to see this.

“Don’t come crying if she takes advantage of you like she did to her other friends”

* * *

“Maybe we can look for the sister? What is her name anyway?”

Mako asks Jamison about you having a sister. Jamison texted Olivia so she can help look for the person. You didn’t specify this person’s name though. Mako got off the couch to ask you about the sister, but then was thrown off when you opened the door.

Mako and James watched you get out of the front door. Exchanging confused looks at one another, Mako and James got up to see what’s wrong with you. You phase through a few places and walk over to Mei’s dorm. You banged on the door, trying to fight the anxiety away. Mei opens the door, her hair loose and wearing pajama pants with a white sweater.

“Oh hey (y/n)! Have you seen my text?” she asked.

You nodded, but Mei can tell you are not happy.

“… You okay?” she asked worryingly. You’re not holding eye contact, just giving this grave stare at her direction.

“Where is Lena?” you asked lowly.

“Lena? I don’t know – wait,” Mei knew something is wrong, looking around inside while Brigitte came over to see what’s up.

“Oh hey (y/n)!” Brigitte beamed.

You are feeling even more awkward, your confidence receding into nothing. You look at these people confused – you didn’t say anything when you start to walk away from them, not sure what to do.

“Did someone call me?”

You slowly turn around to see Lena. You gave them a death stare while they recognize you.

“Oh, you,” Lena tilt her head, wearing her sleep wear.

“…. Stop dragging me into it,” you state loudly.

“Into what?”

“Into that drama between you and Olivia,” you kept glaring at her, turning fully to them. Mei and Brigitte are out there with Lena, not sure what’s wrong.

“But you got yourself into it when it’s none of your business,” Lena crosses her arms, looking at you in a cocky, unsmiling manner.

Brigitte and Mei jumped when the walls around you formed numerous cracks, your hands and teeth clenching while you stare furiously. You are angrier at Mei because she isn’t protesting against Lena’s behavior. Like those dumbfucks around Claudius. Like those around Geila. Like those pathetic, stupid, cowardly, pushovers like that cuck friend of Geila and Claudius. That’s why you don’t feel like being her friend when she is going to be this stupid. You’re debating whether to make a scene or go away. They are not going to listen to you. They are not going to see what they did was wrong. That’s how fucking stupid these humans are. They will always think they didn’t do no wrong while the other dumbass humans just watch them make a fool of themselves.

“There you are!” you heard Jamison coming over with Mako. Mako and Jamison stops few meters away from you, noticing how tense the atmosphere is.

“I see you are a destructive one,” Lena commented.

“CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!” You snapped, get angrier just with the sound of her voice.

“YOU ARE SO FUCKING ANNOYING SHUT UP!” You kept screaming angrily, scaring Brigitte and Mei.

Mako and Jamison quickly comes over, Mako picking you up and putting you behind him. Jamison must drag you back to the dorm. You’re just seeing red, more cracks showing up at the walls around. Jamison picks you up and ran off to the stairs, worried that you will cause any damage to the elevators. You were grinding your teeth and getting attacked by memories, growing more ravenous. Small cracks appear here and there until – a large ugly crushing sound is heard. Jamison tripped, the two of you falling down the stairs. The air got knocked out of you two.

…. You force yourself to breath in painfully, laying on the floor while you lay on metal gears and pieces. It hurts. But what about Jamison? You force yourself up, quickly coming over to Jamison to see—Oh no…

* * *

“… What did you do?” Mako stares back at Lena.

“What did I do?! Look at the cracks around you--!” Lena points at the damaged walls.

“What did you say to them?” Mako asks sternly.

Mei and Brigitte didn’t say anything while Lena stood there, not intimidated by Mako.

“I didn’t want to say anything because they told me not to, but you need to back off. They were really distressed over what you told them about Olivia,” Mako stated gravely.

“Whatever,” Lena shrug, turning around to go back in her dorm while Brigitte and Mei quickly follow suit.

Mako wanted to say more but he knew Lena’s too self-righteous to listen. Mako walked down the stairs finally to catch up to you and James. He almost slipped on a piece of gear before he can grab the rails. He looks down and saw cracks on the walls and metal pieces around, then crying. Mako lower himself down the stairs and saw you kneeling over Jamison. Jamison is trying to comfort you but Mako saw that his prosthetics are shattered. Both his arm and leg prosthetics are destroyed. Jamison can’t get up or walk because of what happened. You kept repeating “I didn’t mean to” to Jamison, your voice sounding so hurt and broken.

“Hey hey hey kiddo is okay! – you barely got those powers, who’s gonna know what’s going to happen?” Jamison try to comfort you, even laughing at the situation. Mako carefully came over to Jamison’s side, taking a better look at the damage.

“Such destruction, I love it!” Jamison beamed, clearly not upset over his prosthetics being destroyed. You got angrier at Lena because you got reminded of what she said, the walls behind getting larger cracks. You got scared, staying away from Jamison and Mako as to not hurt them. Mako looks up and saw what was wrong, getting an idea on what happened.

Getting up with a grunt and being careful not to step on any metal pieces, Mako quickly comes over to his dorm to let Baptiste know what happened. You stay sitting a few feet away from Jamison while he kept praising the destruction, still not offended about what happened. Eventually, Baptiste comes over with Mako following behind him.

“Oh lord … What happened here?” Baptiste is shocked to see the mess, coming over to check if Jamison got hurt in the fall since you two did tumble down the stairs. Luckily it was only the last few steps when it happened.

“I’ll fix you up over at our dorm, can anyone carry you?” Baptiste looks around, Mako coming over to volunteer. He carefully picks Jamison up, loud clinks and clangs ensuing as more pieces fall out of his broken prosthetics. You kept crying while you follow along.

“I did that…” you sobbed out.

“That’s not humanly possible, it’s okay Cherie,” Baptiste pats your back, not believing it was you. The prosthetics isn’t made of plastic like in your time – it’s all metal. So the necessary force needed to break it has to be as devastating as at least a car crash. Baptiste spent that evening carefully pulling off the broken prosthetics off Jamison. Jamison sat on Baptiste’s bed while he works on him, Mako standing by. Zenyatta was on his bed, confused on how Jamison got in that situation.

“… What happened?” Zenyatta tilt his head.

“Fell down the stairs,” Baptiste replied.

Mako and Jamison knew that’s not what happened. Mako is especially worried for you because who knows how much more trouble you might cause because you can’t control your anger? He can’t blame you though, you probably didn’t know how to process emotions – especially anger. Doesn’t help that you been raised around angry people.

“You won’t believe it but (y/n) did it by accident, it was really cool!” Jamison smiled to Baptiste.

“That’s … Not humanly possible,” Baptiste look back at him with a raised brow, still not believing him.

“But they got superpowers, remember?”

“You sure your head is alright?”

“Come ooon cobber! Believe me!”

“Not to intrude but … I don’t think falling down the stairs is enough necessary force to let such a thing like that to occur,” Zenyatta pointed out. It’s true – maybe it will scratch the prosthetic, but it’s not enough to cause large cracks on the wall and broken bent metal.

“… I mean, you’re not wrong,” Baptiste shrug.

“Where’s (y/n)?” Zenyatta asks. He knew Jamison is being honest about you causing it to happen. Zenyatta knew you have superpowers – but he didn’t know it can do more than just make you float.

“In their room, they are not feeling well,” Mako replied lowly.

“I can talk to them, at least as a friend,” Zenyatta suggested.

Mako is worried that Baptiste might report it to the higher ups if he found out how powerful you are. If not, Lena might. She will gladly tatter-tale the person that stood up to her on that one class. Mako would punch her in the throat if she does so. He’s angrier at Mei and Brigitte for just standing by, not telling Lena to shut up.

Jamison pulled out his phone, giving it to Mako so he can tell him what was sent. Olivia that whole time was researching any living relatives of yours. Turns out that your sister is living peacefully at the suburbs of Atlanta, married with children. Her children already have children of their own. Her job involves computer engineering. Olivia sent the info to Jamison’s phone. She told him to ask you for confirmation so it’s true that this is the same person. Mako wants to leave you alone though until you feel better. He worries for you until he got distracted, looking up to see Jamison glaring at Zenyatta.

“Don’t you dare accuse them of being a monster,” Jamison scolded.

“That’s not what I meant – I just want to know how their mental state is doing,” Zenyatta replied calmly.

“Hey don’t squirm! I’m almost done,” Baptiste pats Jamison down, not paying any mind to the argument.

“Baptiste, tell him,” Mako ordered.

“Tell him what?” Baptiste asks, not looking up.

“That Zenyatta also helped with his recovery,” he specified gravely.

Baptiste raise his brow in agreement, nodding a little but not looking up from what he’s doing. Jamison stared incredulously as Mako.

“What are you talking about you big log?!” Jamison exclaimed.

“I was there throughout your recovery. Baptiste talked to me about it and I saw it happen. He can tell you right now that he helped you based on Zenyatta’s advice,” Mako explained sternly. Jamison looks around, not sure what to make of it.

Baptiste kept pulling the remaining parts out, almost done with the extraction.

“Now stop being a dick to every robot you see – I’m speaking to you as someone that has to remember everything that happened, including the displacement,” Mako added, being very serious.

“I mean … He’s telling the truth, he’s been around to help out with your situation,” Baptiste nodded, disinfecting Jamison’s stumps while Mako left the room to go ask you about your sister.

Jamison have a blank expression, not sure what to do with this information. He’s considering denial but … He doesn’t remember. He doesn’t remember why he hates Omnics. Wait he doesn’t? What’s going on?...

“Alright, just rest up and I’ll give you an excuse note for your professors tomorrow. I’ll try to get you new prosthetics as quickly as possible,” Baptiste explained, cleaning his area up. Jamison didn’t respond. He’s staring at the wall next to him, unmoving. Mako came back to the room.

“Uhh...” Mako came back, albeit appearing worried. The three guys look up at him.

“Where’s (y/n)?”


	33. The Day You Disappeared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for suicide because this is a very intense chapter.

You hated everyone, especially your family. The closer the person, the worse of people they are. People close to you are going to hurt you the most. The closer, the worse. Closer, the coldest. You only have yourself to blame for having such a toxic mindset, threatening to push everyone away. You know it’s wrong. But you’re tired of people complaining about you. You’re tired. You’re tired. You’re tired …

They found out your sister is still alive. You don’t want to see her. You didn’t. They are probably going to get angry at you or stay being the cold person she always is. Your relationship with your sister diminished as you two grew older and apart.

It was during the last month of summer. You are not stable. Your mother randomly threatened to break your laptop and kick you out the house. All because something is wrong with your student loans. The scholarship is still there, but the other loans are not there. You’re not really nervous about it. However, even your own sister told you it’s your fault for having low grades. Why would she say such things? What gave her the right to judge you, knowing damn well she also struggled with her grades and took millions of years to graduate college after failing so many classes herself? You didn’t like how cold your sister is, especially throughout the years. Then she wonders why you are always intimidated by her. 

You locked yourself in your room. You stay there, crying out angry tears. You know you could have acted better, but they can’t sit there and pretend they didn’t do anything wrong. They always did something wrong. They made you like this. They would feel guilty, but do they change for the better? No. They don’t. They want people to change for them. Are you just as monstrous as they are? Probably. You are being emotional and throwing it on others. Except you know. You know. That makes you better, right? Other people are too stupid to know. They don’t do anything. Is that your fate? Is that how you ‘re going to stay? You understood how toxic you are? What a monster you are? Knowing you are a monster and not change for the better is what makes you worse than the people that don’t know. Look at you, being just as horrible as Claudius. Why are you clutching your keys? To go to that bridge? You’re just as weak-willed and attention seeking as Geila. You’re worse than everyone of them. Because of these thoughts in your head, you know. You deserve to hate yourself. You know you are horrible, yet you are not changing. You’re too lazy too. You’re too selfish to. Should I go to the bridge? You’re a coward but go ahead. Before you hurt more people. Before you become the villain. Go ahead. Go ahead and blame others for your problems. Go ahead you coward. At that moment, you felt like dying. You felt like going away. You rather not be part of this cruel world any longer. You don’t want to be one of the demons of this world. You don’t want to hurt someone like you been hurt. There really is no kindness. Nor righteousness out there. Not even love. Only disgusting animalistic desires, wickedness, sin, evil, chaos … You don’t want to be part of this. You rather be dead. You rather go away. 

That was the day you disappeared. You didn’t tell anyone what you were thinking because it only disgusts you. You’re not so fucking stupid like Geila, begging for attention by cutting herself or threatening to kill herself. You don’t give a shit she had the worst childhood. She’s still a bitch. She’s still so fucking stupid. You know what it means to truly be by yourself. You know what it means to be forgotten. You know what it means to constantly be confused or always be living in a dysfunctional family. You know that suicide isn’t something you use to get attention. You don’t want anyone to know your pain. You don’t want to give people anymore burden. You’re not like Geila. You’re not like Claudius. You’re not like your parents. You are not going to open up. Your darkness will be safe in you, here. You’re not going to cause pain or put others responsible for you. No. You’re not a fucking child. You will suffer the consequences like an adult. You’re strong this way. 

Your thought processes are contradicting. Your id is fighting against your superego. You know you’re not supposed to judge others. You know Geila has the right to suffer, it’s her way of coping with it that’s toxic. You understand that there is no contest for suffering. Life is suffering. You know, but you want to be freely hopeless. You know you’re better than her because you don’t use your pain for attention. You hate it. It disgusts you talking about your problems. It brings the worse out of you. It shows how horrible you are. 

You flinched, suddenly hearing a loud noise. You panicked a little but felt yourself let go on the last second, remembering that it doesn’t really matter what happens in the future. Maybe God is doing something about it, maybe taking your life. You blinked a little to see you’re not in your room anymore but in darkness … 

You’re not sure if you will get the chance to go to that bridge if it wasn’t for the time-travelling incident. Most people jumped off it to get away from cops or because they are suicidal. People died doing so. It’s this bridge that is a few meters away from your sister’s university. You considered going to the Montrose bridge, but you don’t want people getting traumatized over your stupidity. You rather die in private without causing inconveniences. Also less gory and obvious. Better than body parts and blood being splattered on windshields and the highway. You might be unstable but not that unstable. You’re only wanting to die so you can save everyone from yourself. It’s the most selfless thing you can do so you don’t cause anymore hurt. Nobody is going to remember you all that much or even care. Maybe feel liberated because the person they hate is gone. At that moment, taking your life is the only kind act you can do. You’re not doing it for attention, you’re not doing it out of spite … It’s for the greater good. You’re not going to waste resources, nobody is going to deal with you, you’re not going to hurt anyone, you’re gonna do it quietly, maybe your body is not going to be found …

… You start thinking those same thoughts. You been suicidal since high school. It’s also the time you start gaining weight, getting sleepier, even more hopeless. You’re getting scared. You know that taking your life can potentially scar these people, but those voices … It kept convincing you about how the other choice is more damaging. You end up hurting everyone if you stay alive. You’re going to hurt your friends by disappointing them, allowing them to see the worst in you. You don’t want people to get scarred by your mistakes. That’s what others did. You can disappear and they don’t need to know what happened. They just forget you even existed. If you allow them to get attached to you, you will hurt them. Disappoint them. If not, they will hurt you. These thoughts are so toxic, but you’re not okay. You’re not stable. You got really hopeless. 

You couldn’t use your powers in this state. You even felt powerless. Should you jump out the window? No, there are students around. They will see your body and they will get traumatized. Go somewhere private. You walk out of the dorm room, avoiding people and slowly going down the stairs. You’re trying your best not to leak anything out of your nose or eyes. You walk out in the back door, slowly, walking away from campus. Maybe someone can attack you right then and there. But nobody came. You kept being by yourself, walking, trying to decide your fate. Not on the road, people will see you. Nothing to do in the forest. You can’t use your powers right now. You can’t use it. You walked over, trying to hide your face from everyone, avoiding all eyes. But there are barely any eyes or people. You kept walking. You end up going to downtown, feeling gross and even more desperate. Your social anxiety is ironically stopping you from going to any building. Should you jump at a train? No, people. Maybe a track far away. You can follow it. No. Maybe on top. No. People are going to see. Is there a bridge? Is there a bridge? Is there a bridge? You try to look for a ditch or a river. But you’re stuck in the middle of downtown. You feel tired. You are getting these random bouts of willingness to do something irrational, like go ahead and jump in traffic. You’re considering it. You walk over only to see … There is a bridge. You felt weird. You walk over. It’s good. It’s in the dark. Nobody can see it. Nobody will notice your body. It’s a huge bridge, like the one connecting Galveston islands to Houston. You’re not sure what actually kills the person when they fall though. Do they drown? Do they break their neck on impact? You kept walking, slowly, deathly, looking at the edges. There isn’t really a fence. You carefully got on the ledge when you got another bout of eagerness, trying to get over it as quickly as possible - - - - 

“Wait!”

You quickly turn to your left, seeing two elderly people. The man coming up quickly while the lady kind of stay behind. They look awfully familiar. 

You froze. Your demons are arguing against your superego.

Jump.

There are people there. 

Jump.

Are you selfish enough to make them watch?

Jump.

Jump.

Jum—

The man quickly picks you up, placing you on the concrete floor while the woman beside him catches up. You didn’t struggle against him. After the lady reach for him, she quickly comes over to take a look at you. She gently puts her fragile hands on your forehead, as if she’s checking for your fever. She smells oddly sweet. You kept avoiding their eyes, feeling too awkward to say anything. 

“Oh, I remember you,” the man said softly. Turns out it’s Jack Morrison walking around with Ana. 

“Huh?” Ana looks up to her friend. 

“Ana, we need to take them to the hospital,” Jack suggested in hush tone.

“Do we call and stay here?” Ana asked. 

“I feel like it’s not a good idea to leave them by themselves – hey, kiddo, don’t worry,” Jack looks back at you with sympathy. 

You’re still avoiding their eyes. 

“Come with us – we’re getting you help,” Jack assures, holding your hand while Ana follows along. 

“We’ll stay with you throughout the way,” Ana reassures, patting your back. 

You been looking down most of the way, not feeling like looking at the neon signs and Christmas lights. The town didn’t wait until Halloween passed. Ana and Jack went over to a nearby train stop. They stay there with a few people. You felt like you are just remembering something. Jack quickly hugs you from behind tightly when he saw the train coming … The train comes along, the robotic voice announcing to go ahead and get in. Ana, Jack, and you went in the train. You three sat in one spot. You sat next to Jack while Ana sits across. They were silent for half an hour. 

“… You were the one that criticized Gabe,” Jack commented out of the blue. 

You look up a little. 

“You don’t know? Mr. Reyes? You roasted the man,” Jack specify. 

“The one who started a riot?” you asked very quietly. 

“Yes,” he nodded, his gaze tired and kind. 

“Who are you?” you asked, still being awfully quiet. 

“Interesting … you don’t know, and you are part of the university?” he asks softly. 

“I’m bad with names.”

“Ah… I’m Jack Morrison, the principal,” he revealed. 

“I’m Ana Amari, the vice-president,” Ana introduced herself. 

“Principals are never around. Too busy,” you look away towards the window, watching the skyscrapers pass by. 

“True,” Jack nodded.  
“I was angry at that man because his actions reminded me of unpleasant stuff. People rather try to mess things up further instead of being civilized,” you drone on with your tired voice. 

“Hmm,” Jack nodded. 

“These children need to behave,” Ana nodded in agreement. 

These people are going to find out what you did that evening. You know Lena will gladly call you out, telling everyone about how crazy and violent the Autistic kid is. She will do it, especially since you did curse her out yesterday. It annoyed you how Winston is just appeasing her, just being a huge pushover. But you couldn’t help but beat yourself up. People always talked about what an angry child you are. You do have a short temper but who the fuck made you that way? The same people complaining about it. The people that raised you. You remember how your mother would throw tantrums like a stupid child. You remember how scary your dad is when he gets angry, even breaking his own TV. Maybe if you just block her number and suck it up, you wouldn’t be in this situation. You knew you are a failure. You knew you are going to fuck shit up sooner or later. Morrison is going to be so disappointed in you, kicking you out with no hesitation. Mako and Jamison will turn their back on you. Everyone will. They are going to find out what a monster and an angry child you are, getting tired of your shit. You kept getting these dark thoughts … You’re getting tired. You start to feel numb. So tired …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the few chapters during a difficult time in the summer, but don't worry for me. If you are actively trying to commit suicide, please call 1-800-273-8255


	34. Going to the ER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ana, Jack Morrison, Jesse, and Olivia are there to comfort you and get you help.
> 
> Also trigger warning for mentions of child abuse and child molestation

The sun starts to set, the day growing darker into purple hues. The circles under your eyes also darkens, your skin pale. Jack and Ana whisper to one another while you slowly dose off, closing your eyes.

“Fareeha is older than them, maybe by ten years. I’m worried for today’s youth,” Ana commented softly.

“How is Fareeha?” Jack asks quietly.

“She’s doing good. I wanted her to have a much careful job, but I must not get in her way forever. She’s an adult now,” Ana explained.

They stay talking a few times, but Ana is trying to pinpoint why you look familiar in the first place. Your face and your sad eyes are reminding her of something. You didn’t saw how her face shifts from deep thought to wide-eye realization, ever so slowly. She didn’t really question herself when she thought of the idea.

“Jack.”

“Yes?”

“… Ever head of this disappearance of a college student so bizarre?”

“How bizarre?”

“No proof. No tracks. No DNA.”

Your eyes stay closed.

“What are you talking about?”

“Wait … You were born much later? No wonder,” Ana gave a tight smile.

“Ana, tell me what’s up,” Jack asks, blinking slowly.

“Jack – We have to do a DNA test.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I think (y/n) is the missing person. From decades ago. I remember their face.”

“… You’re scaring me, Ana,” Jack commented, worried that her age is messing with her finally.

They all suddenly heard laughter, Olivia appearing next to Ana in a purple flash.

“Olivia!” Jack exclaimed, tensing up on his seat.

“So you actually recognize them, how come you didn’t question it?” Olivia asks, giving a grin.

“I thought it was a coincidence … Olivia, why did nobody talk about it?” Ana turns to Olivia.

“And make the scientists put them in a test tube? You see Moira and Siebren?”

“Huh?” you look up at Olivia.

“What? They are good friends,” Olivia tilt her head.

“You know we have strict policies against unethical experiments including animal cruelty, of course I would not allow such a thing,” Jack declared with confidence.

“How can I trust you after I found some interesting information?”

“You know what … Let’s talk about this another time because sensitive information might get out – focus on (y/n),” Jack dismiss the subject, only worried for you.

“So you know?” Olivia tilt her head in interest.

“That you’re a hacker, yes,” Jack nodded stubbornly.

“Why didn’t you stop me?”

“Because I know you’re not one of the bad guys, you’re just a grey hat hacker.”

“Ooof, such an old term,” Sombra tilt her head up in surprise.

“Weren’t you good friends with Gabe?” Jack raise an eyebrow.

“And Amelie? It’s complicated,” Olivia shrug.

Jack hummed, not really trusting Olivia.

“But (y/n)? They are like a sister to me. I understand them and they understood me,” Olivia said. You look up towards her in surprise, Olivia processing that you are holding eye contact with her – a rare occurrence.

“I did it because I wanted to do something … Challenging. Turns out your security sucks, Mr. Morrison. Of course people are going to find some classified information. Even found some fake profiles, probably used for tax evasions. Anyways, yeah my real friends are (y/n), Baptiste, and Jamison. From what I can come up from the top of my head,” Olivia continues to explain.

Your eyes peer away from Olivia, looking down.

“Wait – Lucio got angry at me for getting his music without his permission but he’s still cool with me, and maybe Mako …? Eh…” Olivia continues to wonder… Until she heard sniffles. The three people notice liquid on the floor, noticing it was tears from your crying. Ana quickly got through her purse and pull out tissues, reaching out to give it to you.

“It’s going to be okay,” Ana smiled softly, with a reassuring tone in her voice.

“Olivia, do you have any – uh, (y/n)?” Jack pats your shaky back. You’re trying your hardest not to whimper or hiccup too loud. You carefully took Ana’s tissues.

“I know, I know …” Olivia nodded slowly. Jack and Ana look up at her.

“I followed you out the campus, (y/n). Just that these two people got to you first,” Olivia admitted.

“So that’s why you came over here,” Jack realized.

“Nod yes if you want me to talk for you – you want me to tell them what’s up with you?” Olivia asks towards you.

You didn’t say anything.

“Nod yes if you want me to tell them what’s wrong … Trust me, I know,” Olivia asks again, knowing that you have trouble responding.

You try to speak but don’t know what to say.

“Anything can be hacked … And everyone,” Olivia muses.

Jack kept petting your back, focusing on comforting you while Ana gives you more tissues.

“Remember that I hacked through the system? The medical histories of students are also exposed,” Olivia pointed out. Your head tilt up a little … Your wet eyes widen in fear.

“Transcripts. I know what I saw, and I know what’s the problem; you want me to tell them your situation?” Olivia asks once more.

You still didn’t say anything. You’re not sure what to respond.

“… Push me away,” you mumbled in the lowest tone.

“Huh?”

“You saw what a monster I am, push me away before I hurt you,” you mumbled louder.

“You’re not a monster but a victim, (y/n). I know what monsters are. I exposed them before. You know, animal cruelty, child porn … Pretty dark stuff. You really hate yourself, do you?” Olivia responded, not sounding fazed by your comment. You didn’t look up. Olivia suddenly lifts her hand up, typing something in the air only to surround the group in a pixelated, purple square. She created this field so other train passengers don’t listen in.

“There, you all have privacy so long as this barrier is here,” Olivia illustrated, Ana and Jack looking around.

“They hate themselves. A lot. Why? Because people were pushing them around all the time. Nobody had the patience to care for someone like them. Her parents were emotionally abusive, her grandparents were like that to their own kids, their grandfather is a goddamn pedophile that their dad thought it’s a good idea to allow near them and their sister … The whole time-travelling thing? It was for the better honestly. How can they ever recover in the same environment they were hurt? Be glad that this mystery has a happy ending, and I will ensure that it will,” Olivia explained, kind of surprised at herself that she’s exposing someone out of selflessness rather than for exposure.

Jack and Ana sat there stunned.

“That means … They don’t have a family,” Ana commented solemnly. Ana hold onto your hand, gripping it.

“Me neither. I’m an orphan,” Olivia shrug.

Jack rubs your back, his sad eyes darting around.

“But what’s worse? Having bad parents or not having any at all?” Olivia asked, not expecting it to be answered.

Jack and Ana comforted you silently, not judging you based on your past.

“Don’t be embarrassed by your past, (y/n). You’re more than your parents, your dumb ex-friends, the bad people … Want me to leak their nudes?”

Jack gave a dirty look at Olivia … But then he heard a pained giggle from you.

“Who knows if those people are manipulating everyone they know? I know manipulation. I’m a manipulator. You’re not. You’re not a bad person if you decided to speak up and get help. I’m coming with you to the hospital,” Olivia reach her hand over yours and Ana’s.

“Oh hey! How yall doing?”

Everyone except you look up to see Jesse. Olivia type the air discreetly to make the barrier go away.

“Oh hey Joel,” Olivia greeted him with a large smile.

“Hey! Don’t call me that,” Jesse cringed. He noticed you sitting next to Jack.

“Oh hey, it’s my roommate,” Jesse pointed out.

“Roommate?” Jack turns to him.

“Yeah, they live in the same dorm as me and the other guys,” Jesse explained.

“They’re not feeling too good … Also don’t know if we have space here,” Olivia look around the row.

“It’s an honor seeing you, ma’am,” Jesse greeted Ana.

“Heh, nice to see you too,” Ana greeted back happily.

Jesse walks over and sit on the row right behind Ana and Olivia.

“So what’s wrong with the fella?” Jesse asked.

“We’re getting them help – they need to go to the hospital,” Jack replied, not sure to whether or not to say what’s actually wrong with you.

“Oh, that doesn’t sound good. You want me to let the guys over the dorms know?” Jesse proposes.

“(y/n), let them know. I know Mako and Jamison is going to get worried for you,” Olivia asks.

You don’t know what to say. You don’t want to worry anyone.

“(y/n), give them the chance to love you. Stop dealing with these … Things by yourself. It’s literally killing you,” Olivia clutch on your hand harder, seemingly knowing what you are thinking.

Jesse’s smile falter even more, having an idea that it might be something serious. You slowly nodded, too reluctant though.

“Can I come with yall?” Jesse asked.

“That would be nice, they need as much support as they need,” Ana nodded, still holding your hand.

“Be unapologetic like you usually are, that’s what I love about you.”

* * *

They reach to the hospital. The group walked over to the ER, Jack explaining the situation, so you don’t have to. It was pretty … Boring? You weren’t really nervous. You talked to a professional, asking you questions like whether you wrote a suicide note or have any previous attempts. Olivia was with you this whole time so you’re not alone, although invisible. After checking your health and running tests., they took you to a room for you to stay on. It’s cozy like a regular dorm. You sat on the bed, feeling empty inside. Tired. Still sad. You lay in bed, curling up in a ball. Olivia sat nearby, using her internal computer to look around things online. Jack sat next to her as she illustrated security flaws in the system. Ana called her family to let them know where she is in, just in case they are worried.

“Okay, I’ll let the guys over at the dorms know what’s up,” Jesse stated, getting off the wall.

“Alright, just let them know also that they are not by themselves,” Olivia nodded to Jesse.

“Sure thing! I’ll probably come by later, but hope things get better soon,” Jesse gave a sad smile. He told his goodbyes to the people in the room before he leaves, going back to the dorms to deliver the news.

* * *

“I was around 3 years old when it happened, but the mystery kept staying there. It’s just weird that at the time where DNA is already a common test, they did not figure out what happened. So, what happened was the machine over at the science building brought you into this world?” Ana discusses, sitting next to you.

You nodded.

“When did it happened?”

You forgot.

“I think it was around September,” Olivia pointed out.

“When they did the test runs …” Jack murmured.

“Who’s been taking care of you?” Ana asks softly.

You shrug.

“Mako and James. I helped with some things, but they were the ones that welcomed them into their lives,” Olivia replied for you.

“Ughhh why didn’t you report what happened? What if another person from even farther into the past gets into this world and die from exposure of unknown germs?” Jack pinch the bridge of his nose, squinting. Ana looks over you worryingly. They were going to test you or check on your records, but how are they going to respond if they see how outdated your information is?

“I told you, their friends are scared for them. They don’t want people to do something to them,” Olivia explained tiredly.

“… How is this person going to live with most of their relatives probably dead? Is that why you were trying to jump off that bridge?!” Jack asks in a frustrated tone.

You got scared by his tone, cowering away into your cheap mattress.

“Jack, don’t yell around them,” Ana lectured, rubbing your back.

“No Jack – they been suicidal, even before the time-travelling,” Olivia pointed out.

“But why?”

“Because of how they were raised, most likely? Their relatives weren’t good people anyway, they made them scared of the world,” Olivia explained further, sounding slightly angry for you.

Jack looks towards you, worried but scowling.

“You didn’t listen to me when I talked about their family??”

Jack hid his face in his hands.

“Olivia, I’ll make sure nothing happens to them. There is nothing to be afraid of,” Ana assures, patting your back.

“I’m just … Worried about their health. I’m surprised they weren’t sick by now,” Jack grumbled, rubbing his face.

“Don’t you two have work to do?” Olivia asked smugly.

“We do, well … We have to go back to work, especially with this new information,” Jack blinked tiredly, holding his hands together while slouching. Olivia starts to text on her phone, responding to James’s frantic text messages. You still feel small and weak. You know your powers are still offline. You still felt the need to escape from this life though. You don’t feel alarmed, just tired. You lay on the small mattress, Ana still sitting next to you.

So tired. So so tired.

You hated your grandparents. Well, your maternal grandfather passed away when you were a kid while there was a restriction order on your paternal grandfather. Your maternal grandmother is the … Sanest among them, but you did not like how she raised your mother and her siblings. You also don’t feel close to your grandparents. You can’t really relate to your grandmother. They are too busy focusing on praying or reading the bible, which isn’t really a bad thing. She doesn’t do the bible-thumping, just kept reading and reading as she grew older. Your paternal grandmother on the other hand … You h a t e her. You hate how annoying, ungrateful, and stupid that old hag is. You hate her. She laughs at your misery, seeing it as comedic. She accuses you and your mother for making fun of her when she had no problem gossiping and doing that very thing she accuses you two of. You hate her. You don’t want her touch. You hated her for even marrying such a piece of shit then not raising her children right either, letting them be molested or mistreated by her husband. You hate it when she comes over. You feel like throwing up. You hate her. You hate her. You hate her. You hate her…

Maybe that’s why you are wary on being around older people. You see them either as stupid or boring. You’re sure there are nicer old folks there, but you rather avoid them. You also see them as fragile human beings. Back in your time, the older folks don’t like people like yourself. Besides the difference in political opinions, they also think you and the people you support are abominations. Pretty controversial stuff to discuss at the time because of the political climate. So besides having a messed up or distant relationship with your grandparents, older people proved to you on how harsh and angry they can be.

However, feeling this elderly lady’s hand patting your back makes you feel safe. You were feeling weird next to Ana because she kind of reminds you of your maternal grandma or your previous counselor, like you kind of knew how she is. But she acts surprisingly closer to you than your grandmother, through her soft tone and her kind gaze.

“You are going to be okay,” she assures lovingly, rubbing your back while you lay on your side.

Meanwhile Jack must make a bunch of emails to let the administration know what’s going on, asking for a meeting to happen soon. Olivia finished texting James back, going back to explaining the security issues to Jack when he is also done.

“You’re slowly turning into a white hacker,”

“I’m Mexican.”

“Olivia please.”

While Ana rubs your back, she suddenly noticed you crying some more.

“ḥabībī? What’s wrong?” she coos softly.

“… You’re too nice,” you hiccuped out with the softest tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if you are actively suicidal and getting suicidal thoughts -- call 1-800-273-8255


	35. Loyalty = Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What makes you strong is your ability to still be kind in the face of despair

“They are not in their room? Where is Lucio?”

“I asked him; he said he didn’t notice they left,” Mako replied to Jamison, although quietly.

“Jamison, you can’t walk,” Baptiste gently push his hand on Jamison’s chest to settle him down.

“Give me the crutches then! I’m sure I still have them around somewhere!” Jamison squirmed, trying to get up. Baptiste still try to keep him down.

“I’ll go look for them,” Mako turns around, going onto the hallways to see if you were not far off. Then again, you can get away faster with your powers, if it’s stable enough. Mako remembers you had your phone number … He pulls out his phone, dials you up – but it immediately cancels. Mako can feel his breathing picking up, having a bad feeling about this. He doesn’t know what else to do other than wait for you to come back. He can’t go to the girl’s dorms because it’s past curfew, so he’s hoping you didn’t come back down to cause more issues.

Meanwhile, Jamison is getting restless. He also doesn’t feel good, knowing that something is wrong.

“Jamison, you can’t move around like this,” Baptiste pats Jamison’s chest, avoiding his flailing limbs. He’s remembering the bad signs you were showing, the things you said, how uncaring you are about your well-being…

It was almost midnight when Jesse came back to the dorms. Mako carried Jamison and place him on Mako’s bed since he might be dumb enough to move around and fall. Jamison and Mako are both awfully worried for you because it’s been hours since they last saw you. When Mako heard the door open, he quickly got out of his room to see if it’s you. He’s awfully disappointed to see it’s not.

“… Oh hey, Mako,” Jesse greeted him, but Mako can tell he’s nervous about something.

“This is going to sound scary but don’t worry, Olivia and a few others are with them; your friend is hospitalized,” Jesse said, bracing for Mako to start panicking. Sure enough, Mako’s body tensed up.

“They are fine! Just need to be watched for a little bit,” Jesse smiled a little, trying not to scare Mako any further. Jesse flinched when Mako grabs his shoulders roughly, panic in his eyes.

“But why are they hospitalized? What happened?” Mako furrow his brows, his icy eyes appearing more frightened. Jesse never really hears Mako speak because of how quiet he is all the time, but it scared him hearing him stressed out like this.

“I … I can’t tell you. But they are in one piece, just ask Olivia,” Jesse replied hesitantly. He’s unsure whether to tell Mako his assumptions because he only knew what’s wrong with you based on hints, but he’s going to wait until you gave permission. He feels like the situation is too personal to talk about and it only makes Mako panic more. Mako grumbled under his breath, letting Jesse go. He went back to Jamison’s room, seeing him laying there.

“… Ask Olivia about (y/n),” Mako ordered. Jamison look up but quickly obeyed, seeing it as a good idea.

“(y/n) has gone missing and we haven’t see them since hours ago. I’m scared for them”

“It’s been hours Olivia”

“Even Mako is freaking out and he usually don’t”

Olivia finally replies a few minutes later, Mako and Jamison both staring at the phone screen.

“(y/n) is fine, Jack Morrison and Ana are with them because they found them by themselves out on the streets”

“What were they doing there?” Jamison replied. Mako got suspicious that the principal and the vice principal are with you back at the hospital, worried that they might take you away if they found out about your time-travelling.

“No idea but I’m also with them. They are alive, don’t worry” Olivia texted back.

“But why at a hospital? Which hospital?”

“You can visit them if you want. It’s the downtown hospital, it’s over wellness check”

Wellness check? Could that mean …

“I’ll go see them, you have your own issues to deal with,” Mako suggested shakily.

“But I want to see them too! Mako I think I know what happened and why they were there,” Jamison squirmed.

“Trust me,” Mako stated, although it sounded vulnerable.

Jamison grew quiet, ceasing the squirming.

“… Just keep in touch, then,” Jamison favored, nodding a little before laying his head down on the pillow. Mako lowered his head, getting up and turning away from Jamison. It was nighttime and it grew cold. There are barely any sounds of chirping that there was before when Mako walked over to the parking lot.

Ana is too reluctant to leave you alone, but Jack convinced her that you will be safe staying in the hospital for the night.

“I’ll fix things up for you, kiddo; just rest up for now,” Morrison comforted you, giving you head pats.

Olivia stay with you, working on her internal computers while you grew sleepier. You’re too exhausted from having people around and the stress. You cuddled on your bed, only hearing Olivia’s typing. Olivia also grew tired, yawning and laying down on the empty bed. Her head suddenly snap back when she heard the door open, her eyebrows raised to see it’s Mako. Olivia’s body relaxed, stretching and not minding Mako’s presence. Mako quickly saw where you are, but you are already asleep. Mako got on his knees next to your bed, stroking your hair ever so gently. Olivia knocks out on the bed she was in, snoring quietly while he stays on your side. You look pale but calm. He is too scared for you. He really hopes Jack Morrison doesn’t do anything. He hopes nothing is wrong with you. He can’t let them take you away. You are happy with him and Jamison. He can’t. He planted his face on the bed, sighing heavily.

* * *

Siebren looked at his phone. He tries to distract himself with work, either checking the super long equations or checking for any emails from colleagues. He was in the science lab over the enclosed platform ten minutes after texting you. Harold Winston and Moira are with him until it was almost midnight. Siebren came home, getting ready to sleep. He felt disappointed that you never replied to him. He knew he already made a fool of himself when he snapped and started rambling to you, wanting to hear something, anything , a n y t h i n g…

* * *

You woke up at some point in the night. You move ever so slowly, turning around. You noticed … Oh it’s Mako. He’s just softly snoring, his head resting on his large arms on the side of your bed. You are surprised to see him, but you feel safe around him…

“… (y/n)?”

You flinched a little. Mako lift his head up, peering at you with tired eyes. You nodded a little, too scared to speak up since it’s late at night.

“… You’re better off without me,” you finally said, turning to the side.

“No, I’m not,” Mako shook his head.

“How is Jamison? Is he mad at me?” you asked, not turning around.

“Of course not, he loves you too much to see what’s the problem… Is Morrison going to take you away?” Mako had worry in his eyes.

“Take me away to where? He just took me to the ER and talked to Olivia,” you tilt your head a little.

“… I want you to stay with me,” Mako stated softly.

“Oh – you’re … You’re tearing up again,” you pointed out, finally looking at his face. Mako is trying his best not to wet his cheeks, but he really was scared for you…

He suddenly scoops you up in his strong muscular arms, holding on to your small body.

“What’s mine is MINE,” Mako growled, tightening his grip on you.

“Don’t get it, don’t understand,” you said flatly, not really worried on his behavior.

“You weirdo, you weird little piglet…” he mumbled.

“Mako, losing a friend will always be my biggest concern… Wait did you made fun of my weight--,” you hid your face on his broad shoulder.

“I like you, you – I love you, (y/n),” Mako admitted, sweating a little.

Your mind went blank – your stubborn behavior cracked the moment your pupils dilated.

“Hauh?” you blinked.

“You are not stable enough to give me an honest answer, so I’ll give you time to think about this—”

“Wait, specify – you mean you love me as a friend or as if you want me to be your spouse or something?” you look straight in his eyes, wanting to see how truthful Mako is with his confession.

“… I want you to be mine … My wife, my everything,” he said, looking straight into your sad eyes.

You look down, not sure whether to take it seriously.

“I know you have a bunch of issues but ugh, I don’t care – something about you brings these weird fuzzy feelings out of me, like I feel as if I’m inhaling a good old hogdrogen canister when I’m with you,” Mako blushed as he continue to gush his feelings out, rubbing your back softly. You didn’t really react yet.

“Is it my butt?” you asked blankly.

“Huh? Uh … You are pretty curvy – but thaT’S NOT THE POINT –” Mako’s face is getting red.

“Mako … You sure? Look at me and my mental state. I’m broken. Why?” you stuttered out, in a very soft tone. You don’t know what to do or how to react.

“You’re not broken. It’s this world that is broken, not you,” Mako assured, rubbing circles on your back slowly while holding you. He gently got on the bed, placing you under him. You got awfully shy, turning your head a little to the side as Mako’s face got close to yours. You can feel his warm heavy breath on your skin, making you shiver… Then he got up to give you space and tuck you in.

“Like I said … Don’t feel pressured to give me a straight answer. You’re not really in the right state of mind, I understand. I’m sorry for having to confess to you like this … I --…” Mako start to regret his decision, not wanting to add more stress to your life.

“No no no … At least, I’ll be at peace,” you hold onto Mako’s big hand, looking up at him with … Love. Love and kindness in your eyes.

“You have time, it’s okay to say no – I’m a fatass, I know,” Mako nodded, his eyes half-lidded with self-awareness.

“No! You are handsome boi!” you pouted, that cute part of yourself returning.

Hhhh so cute Mako thought.

“Uhh … Mako, did you know why I end up here?” you got your frown back, looking down on your hand.

“Tell me,” Mako nodded, again on his knees next to your bed.

“… I’m too scared of hurting others or getting hurt. Okay. Morrison caught me trying to jump off a bridge.”

Mako’s eyes widen in horror.

“I been feeling this way. Sorry. I feel like I’m being an attention whore if I talk about it because I kept thinking … I mean, it could be worse. It can always be worse. So I never really paid much attention to those thoughts,” you shrug.

Mako took his other hand to hold your small, cold one.

“Since high school. I don’t want to hurt anymore people. I rather kill myself to save everyone else. Not just because of my powers, but because in this world, it’s either hurt or get hurt. I’m tired of getting hurt. I don’t want to be as bad as the people that hurt me. I rather die than continue to watch myself grow into a villain,” you explained, feeling your heart swell with sorrow.

Mako felt even more guilty, having to tell you his feeling when you are dealing with something much bigger. He feels so bad. He wants to be your hero, not some idiot that is desperate for your attention.

“I’m so sorry …” Mako mumbled, peering down and away from you.

“Why do you like me?” you asked, Mako’s eyes lifting towards your face.

“Because you are you,” Mako replied. That’s the truth. There are many reasons, but all the reasons are because you are who you are.

“I forgot who I am. I lost myself in my despair. Remind me of who am I, if you so claim to know,” you blinked slowly, looking at Mako’s hands. Mako sighed, holding your hands in his.

“You are kind, funny … Beautiful? I’m … I’m not good with words. I don’t think I can explain through words but trust me, you must have faith in yourself; you are you, and there will never be another you,” Mako tighten his grip on your hands, furrowing his brows a little.

“… Mako? You sure you don’t have any online partners or friends with benefits or uhh…” you glared at Mako.

“Wh – no! I hate dating apps, never saw the point of them,” Mako shook his head.

“Wait what do you mean I have time? Time for what?” you asked.

“Don’t feel pressured or lie to me, either reject me or just be smart about it,” Mako squint his eyes, his brows scrunching up in the middle. He really wants you to be his and his alone, his heart hurting from the thought of being rejected.

“Maybe you can’t fix everything, but at least I can trust you enough to hold your hand,” you replied in a stutter, finding the correct words to use. Mako opens his eyes up, his brows relaxing a little.

“… It took me a long time to process it, but I love you. I get sad with the thought that maybe you don’t feel the same or worse …” you gulped, Mako’s face fully lifted up to yours.

“You love me? Why me?” Mako blushes, not believing his ears.

“You’re perfect,” you giggled that statement out, getting shy.

“How I am?” Mako asks softly, hearing his heart thumping loud in his chest.

“I love your chub! You squishy boiii you is squishy boi,” you coo, lowering yourself to poke his tummy and face. Mako chuckled, picking you up to hold onto his torso.

“I’ll stay loyal to you, forever,” you assured, placing your chin on his shoulder.

“I will stay loyal to you too, (y/n)… Forever,” Mako nodded, squeezing you tighter.

Olivia was awake the whole time, smiling throughout the whole thing with her eyes close. She knew you two are going to be a couple sooner or later, feeling her heart melt from how sweet this whole thing is. It’s odd seeing a scary large man with a horrible past turn into a gentle giant for someone he only met a few weeks ago. Unless … You brought back the man he used to be before the disaster.


	36. Being Physically Vulnerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mei spends time with Jamison, even finding out about your situation.

“Both Jamison and Mako are absent – weird,” Winston scratch the top of his head. Siebren stay seated with his leg bouncing. He was hoping the production team might come along so he can see you again, but he asked Olivia about it and she said they are not coming by today. So now he is sitting there nervously while Harold and Winston are relaxed as they stand in front of class.

“Mako is visiting a friend at a hospital while Jamison’s prosthetics needs to get replaced,” Olivia explained. Baptiste talked to her about what happened to Jamison, so she understood what was going on with the Junker people. Mei also understood, feeling even worse about how she didn’t do anything yesterday on that altercation between you and Lena.

Satya and Moira look at one another worryingly. Jamison and Mako are roommates while you claim you are roommates with Jamison. Other people assumed that Jamison is the friend hospitalized if they didn’t really pay attention, but Moira and Satya knew that this is not the case.

Moira, Satya, and Olivia are in the same dorm. Amelie, Zaria, and Ashe are the other three people there. While Olivia is working on something with her internal computer, Moira and Satya walks over to Olivia.

“Moira and I just spoke to (y/n), are they alright?” Satya spoke to Olivia. Olivia has her attention on Satya, kind of surprised that she knew how you were.

“Oh yeah, I saw them last night and they seem to be holding up well … Mako and James isn’t here because they are worried for them. Those two are all what they have,” Olivia explained with no problem.

“What happened to them? Did they get hurt on their way back to the dorms?” Satya asks.

“No, they just needed help – too personal to talk about,” Olivia nodded to Satya.

“Are you doing okay, Olivia? Started any wars lately?” Moira grins.

“Yeah I’m good,” Olivia smiles back.

“I shall share them my notes from Lindholm’s class so they do not get left behind,” Satya peers around.

“When did you meet (y/n) anyway?” Olivia put her focus back on the purple screen.

“Yesterday; they helped me get away from a crowded hallway while Moira introduce them further,” Satya discussed.

“Dr. De Kuiper introduced them to me – a very interesting person,” Moira nodded.

Meanwhile, Mei walks back over to the dorm. Lena quickly sped through campus to reach to the dorm first, so Mei was left behind. The whole trip is Mei questioning herself on whether to say something or back off… She got on the elevator, going to the floor where Jamison’s dorm is.

Jamison is stressed on his bed, looking at his phone and keeping tabs on Mako. He pouted, forgetting how boring it is to just be lounging around. The TV is on to keep the boredom from worsening, seeing the paranormal show he always watched. He heard a knock on the door. He couldn’t get up, so he just ignored it. Baptiste opened it for whoever was there, speaking to them softly. Their voice sounds familiar …

Jamison flinched when Mei opens the door quickly. She’s shocked to see Jamison without his prosthetics since she sometimes forgets he has some.

“… Oh hey,” Jamison gave a toothy grin, not moving an inch.

“Wh … Where is (y/n)?” Mei asks quietly and timidly.

Jamison’s smile falters, eyes looking down slowly.

“What happened?” Mei asks a bit more loudly, looking up at Jamison with so much worry.

“They are in the hospital. Mako is with them. Why you ask?” Jamison tilt his head.

Mei furrow her brows, feeling even guiltier over not doing anything to stop Lena. She saw your powers acting up, so she couldn’t walk up to you without putting herself in danger. Jamison and Mako was there and they weren’t afraid of you. Why must she be so afraid...?

“… Why are you tearing up?” Jamison asks softly.

“I’m such an idiot!” Mei blurted out, starting to cry and sniffle out sobs. Jamison lifted his body up but couldn’t get up, glancing at Mei with concern.

“Hey hey hey Mei … It’s okay! Why are you an idiot?” Jamison raise his hand up, wanting to comfort Mei.

“Didn’t you saw me standing there? Doing nothing? I could have done something, I could have told Lena to back off, I could have done something about it but I’m such a coward!” Mei cries, rubbing her tears away with the back of her hands.

“Lena …?” Jamison furrow his brows.

“She angered them, really bad – I should have done something, I should have …!” Mei sobbed, angry at herself. She knew you are angry at her for doing absolutely nothing, making her feel worse.

“What did Lena do? I wasn’t able to find out,” Jamison sits up a little. He pats his side of the bed. Mei couldn’t respond right away with how much she is crying.

“Sit here, this is Mako’s bed,” Jamison assures. Mei hesitantly sat next to Jamison, but he didn’t want to anger her by putting his hand on her… Whatever, he ended up patting Mei’s back as she stays crying.

“Mei, it’s okay … You have nothing to do with this, Lena should be the one feeling bad if she caused all this – so what happened?” Jamison comforts Mei, gingerly rubbing her back softly.

“(y/n) told Lena to not get her involved between her and Olivia, but then Lena made them mad when she told them they were the ones that got into their business. It’s obvious she is upset over what (y/n) said to her last Monday. Then she made them angrier when Lena called them destructive,” Mei explained as calmly as she could, despite how teary she is.

“Mako and I saw them leave the front door, so we followed them. We had no idea what gotten into them though,” Jamison shrug.

“(Y/N) never told anyone what actually happened?” Mei looks over at Jamison’s slouching form.

“No … Their mental state worsened after that incident … That stupid Brit,” Jamison grumbles.

“I’m going to confront her. Maybe (y/n) shouldn’t react the way they did, but Lena shouldn’t have been so mean to Olivia or (y/n) either,”

“Don’t worry about it, Mei – she’s probably too stubborn to listen to you anyway,” Jamison watches the TV.

“But I should have done something!”

“I know but … It’s not going to change Lena. If Lena wants to continue behaving like that, then that’s her decision. You are not responsible for that person’s behavior,”

“But I’m her friend! I’m supposed to let them know what they are doing is wrong, not be a cheerleader…!”

“You’re not a cheerleader, Mei – just not the confrontational type; you have nothing to feel guilty about.”

Mei rubs her eyes.

“Mako is with them right now, don’t worry,” Jamison pats Mei’s shoulders, laying down on the pillow as he kept watching.

“… Oh shoot I forgot I’m not watching in chronological order …” Jamison mumbled, looking for the remote.

“Today we are going to talk about the strange disappearance of (y/n) (l/n)…”

Jamison and Mei’s heads snap up. As the two young guys talk about your disappearance, Mei’s head slowly turns to Jamison. She quickly recognizes your image. Your haircut was different while your expressions are colder.

“… Yes Mei, the (y/n) we know is that (y/n),” Jamison nodded slowly, smiling to Mei innocently.

“H-How...?” Mei stops crying, staring wide-eye at Jamison.

“So remember that time machine we saw that one class?” Jamison started.

* * *

You woke up in the afternoon, still feeling exhausted. You hummed lowly, moving your body softly to stretch a little. You got the medicine bottle, consuming the last pill and drinking your bottle of water – oh, your powers. They seem to be working. You quickly put the bottle away, putting your water bottle on the nightstand. You lift to see Mako on the other bed, snoring softly.

… You blushed, remembering that he confessed to you hours ago. You couldn’t believe it. You are thinking of the worst-case scenarios, like maybe Mako telling you it’s just a prank or he was just kidding. You got off the bed, walking over to Mako’s large sleeping body.

So cuuute! He’s so squishy and handsome. He a handsome boi. You thought to yourself cheerfully, squeezing your cheeks while pursing your lips. You’re considering giving his tummy a squeeze or poking his cheeks, but he must be exhausted. It will be a jerk move to wake him up. You come over slowly to your bed, laying down and putting the bed covers over yourself… Until the door opens. You look up and recognize the psychiatrist. She’s going to check on your mental state, so you hop off the bed and walk over to talk to her outside.

Mako wakes up eventually, stirring up. He then noticed you are gone. He got worried, getting up and walking over to your bed. Yep, you are not there. Mako’s head turns over when you enter the room, being followed by the psychiatrist and a doctor. They explained to you that your blood test turns out fine and you are stable enough to go back home. After being checked out, you and Mako walk over to the parking lot, holding hands.

“… You want to eat at McDonalds?” Mako looks over at you with tired eyes.

“They are still around? Yeah!” you beamed, coming closer to hold Mako’s arm.

Mako’s heart flutters, your cheek rubbing against his upper arm. You two reach to his motorcycle. Mako helps you get on the side where Jamison usually sits. Mako got over and sat on the motorcycle, turning it up to leave the hospital. You pull up some noise cancelling headphones to cover your ears. Your powers seem to be fine. You close your eyes and try to nap inside the sidecar, given how small you are.

* * *

“Why didn’t you tell professor Winston what happened?!”

“They will make a guinea pig out of them, well, Mako is worried that they will make a guinea pig out of them,” Jamison lower his head on the pillow.

“But what if their body can’t handle the bacteria of today? Can they?”

“It’s only 50 years into the future,” Jamison counted.

“That’s enough time for all kinds of changes, Jamison,” Mei pouted.

“What? They probably will experiment on them,” Jamison exclaims.

“But nothing happened to Lena or Mr. Reyes or any of the other students with anomalies. Even Dr. De Kuiper has powers of his own and he wasn’t put as a guinea pig; instead, we helped them control their powers. You two had nothing to worry about,” Mei assures confidently.

“I … I don’t know, honestly,” Jamison falters, not sure what to say to her.

“We can ask (y/n), you didn’t think about asking them?”

“We didn’t want to scare them,” Jamison shook his head no.

“I’ll help asking them about it – I’m sure the higher ups would be happy to help them,” Mei gave a comforting smile, patting Jamison’s shoulder. Jamison gave out a heavy sigh.

“You need to convince Mako too, but I’ll help with that,” Jamison shrugs.

“We are all their friends – I want to help,” Mei peers down humbly, being very sincere with her words.

“I know Mei, just assure them about it – they are always doubting themselves,” Jamison gave a sad smile, worried for you.

Jamison and Mei spent their time in his room. Mei is too disappointed in Lena to see her, so she is hanging around to help Jamison with any small tasks since, you know, he has missing limbs. Jamison and Mei watched more ghost videos and documentaries. Mei turns to see you and Mako coming into the room an hour later. You appeared exhausted while Mako is calmer than he was last night.

“Who came in? I can’t see,” Jamison grumbled, trying to lift himself up.

You cover your mouth when you saw Jamison without his prosthetic. He really doesn’t have a leg nor an arm on the right side of his body. Jamison didn’t care about his situation; he immediately beams joyfully when he saw you alive and well. He reaches his arm out eagerly. You got close to his side quietly but smiling back at him. He gave you a tight one-arm hug, humming happily.

“You little ankle-biter, where you been?! You got me worried sick!” Jamison pouted, but not angry at you.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, hugging him back carefully… You suddenly have an idea. You got caught by surprised when Mei grabs you and hugs you tight from behind, starting to cry again.

“I’m so sorry (y/n) ...! I’m glad you’re alright!” Mei exclaimed, starting to tear up again. Your eyes widen – she actually cares for you? Huh? You turn a little to see her, not sure how to react.

“I should have stopped Lena somehow, I shouldn’t have just stood there like an idiot and let it all happen,” Mei’s big eyes grew teary. You are awfully shocked; nobody ever shows such self-awareness like that before. They usually just follow people along or stupidly accept the stupid things their favorite people are doing. You carefully got off from Jamison, turning to Mei fully. You just noticed she starts to cry. You are very taken aback from this, looking back at her with much confusion.

“… I forgive you – I admire your kind and emotional heart,” you nodded hesitantly, not sure what to say.

“Please tell us what happened yesterday, what did Lena do?—If you’re okay with it…” Mei asks sheepishly. Mako and Jamison turns to you.

Might as well snitch on her if she is going to snitch everyone else about how “destructive” you are.

You pull your phone out from the void, opening your messages and giving it to Mei since she deserves to know. Mako got close to Mei while Jamison tries to stretch his neck out, attempting to see what the message is.

“I know it’s such a small message for me to just … Snap like that. Sorry for causing property damage, I’m going to use my powers to fix it,” you look down, cringing from the memories of last night.

“But you have every right to feel upset!” Mei assured confidently.

“I mean Lena is right … I butt myself into it. I’m always a dumbass. Always butting in where I shouldn’t…” you frowned even more. You start to get even more bad memories of how you try to do the right thing for a friend but … Jamison asks for your phone, getting it and reading what it says before Mako grabs it too. You just walk slowly in a circle, feeling those horrible thoughts and memories coming back once again. Mako snap you out of it when he put his palm over your head. You look up to see the worried look on Mako’s face.

“She … Shouldn’t have done that. That’s really petty of her,” Mei nodded, trying to let you know you have a good reason to feel angry.

“I … I’m gonna go back and fix the walls. I can do that,” you avoided the situation, feeling too exhausted to explain or feel anything. Mako and Jamison turn to one another, but Mei nodded.

“Okay, I’ll go with you since I’m going to class soon,” Mei agreed, coming over to your side so she can lead you to the dorms. You follow along her and reach to the dorms. The cracks are still there on the walls.

“Tell me something positive out of the honesty of your heart,” you requested.

“I want to be your friend,” Mei smiled shyly. You also blushed, not sure how to react to it – then you went to work. The cracks and the internal damage are going away. You calm yourself down to fix everything. Mei watches in awe, not noticing a group of girls leaving the dorm room nearby.

“(y/n)?”

You look to see Moira and Satya behind Mei. The two quickly comes over to stand by Mei, watching you try to fix things.

“It’s a long story…” you shook your head, trying to tell yourself not to doubt.

“No keep going! This is helping me understand your powers better,” Moira grins.

“You can stay and rest in your room, I shall bring you my notes for today’s class – You have my contact,” Satya assured, standing next to Moira. You worked on the smallest crack after you dealt with the large ones… Suddenly you froze. Mei’s dorm room opened, only to see the person you didn’t want to see. You quickly stop what you are doing, coming over to Moira and Satya so you don’t ruin your work. The three scientists look towards you worryingly while Mei quickly turns back to Lena. Lena noticed the last second the group being there. Mei felt her timid nature taking over, but she must stay strong. She must do what is right this time, not run away. Lena is a good friend of her, even being an inspiration. She doesn’t want to argue with her, but she must do what is right.

“You’re planning to wreck my dorm any further?” Lena commented flatly.

“Lena! They are trying to fix it! Look around you – they got rid of the cracks,” Mei pointed at the white walls. Lena stood awkwardly, peering at her surroundings. You felt small next to Satya and Moira, hiding behind the tall androgynous woman. You try to comfort yourself, telling yourself it’s better to be humbled than being angry, especially since anger will only make your powers act up.

“… You seen what a temper this person has, they are just going to wreck some more stuff later with that attitude,” Lena sneered. You get angry again, the ends of your hair standing up --

“Look who’s talking.”

Every turn, seeing Olivia standing behind the three scientists. You felt so happy to see her. You quickly ran up to her, Olivia quickly putting her arm around your shoulder.

“You can talk bad about me all you want, but don’t you dare talk about my friends,” Olivia stated with a grave look on her face.


	37. What it Means to be a Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Mei confronts Lena, wanting to defend you

You know you look childish clinging next to Olivia, but she is like a sister to you. You even remember her saying that, so she should feel the same. You hid next to her while Moira, Satya, and Mei stood around; the atmosphere is so tense. 

“What are you doing here?” Lena glares at Olivia.

“Uh … I live here,” she pats your head, not intimidated at all.

“You’re interrupting my observation – I’m studying their abilities,” Moira stated, visibly annoyed at how tense the atmosphere is ... And how her observation is interrupted. 

“Of course, you and your experiments always trying to use people as guinea pigs,” Lena sneered, Moira rolling her eyes at the response.

“Lena! You need to stop being mean to people. You are not being a hero acting this way, that just makes you a bully!” Mei scolded, her face getting red. Again, you are surprised at Mei’s newfound courage to stand up for what she thinks it’s right. You thought she was going to do absolutely nothing like yesterday but nope.

“A bully?! Did you hear what they said to me last Monday?! Cussing me out like that?!” Lena pointed at you aggressively.

“But you started it,” Olivia responded aloofly.

“No, YOU started it you thief,” Lena pointed angrily at her. 

“LET – IT – GO!” Both you and Mei exclaimed while you angrily clap to each word. You came forward and stood close to Mei and Moira.

“That’s my point – you are getting mad over something that is already SOLVED! Get mad at the university if they are not treating your professor fairly – or talk to him first!” you scolded. Lena opened her mouth but stopped herself, not sure what to say.

“Not to intrude, but I do agree that the university should give more freedom instead of putting all these strict rules,” Moira shrug, being unbiased about the whole thing.

“Yeah I shouldn’t have snap at you, but MANY people including the person you are defending is telling you to forget about it; you never listened, even if they tell you the nicest way possible– are you jealous of her or why can’t you stop hating Olivia? What did she do to you specifically?” you continue to scold at Lena, no longer scared of hurting Lena’s feelings. Satya is cringing at how chaotic the atmosphere feels, but she is trying to stick around to be supportive.

“It’s because I’m Mexican,” Olivia snickers.

“What?! No! Just … Ugh …” Lena shook her head, not sure what else to say.

“There is no reason! You just don’t like her as a person, and that happens to people sometimes. It happens to me. But I don’t go around being a jerk about it, I just avoid the person!” you responded, growing more confident.

“You don’t have to be friends with her but stop publicly yelling at her like what you did in class. That’s not okay and it’s disruptive,” you added calmly. The girls couldn’t help but agree, especially Satya since she doesn’t like it when there is any kind of disorder in class.

“… I’m sorry I yelled at you like that, I should have been nicer about it,” you apologized suddenly. Lena’s eyes widen a little to your apology.

“Why are you apologizing? She should be the one saying sorry,” Olivia pouted a little.

“I messed up because I shouldn’t use anger to fix problems – it made things worse,” you admitted, turning to Olivia.

“Ugh, you’re too nice,” she grumbles. Mei just smiled softly, understanding your humbleness… Oh shoot she just remembers she had class soon. She quickly goes to her dorm, passing by Lena’s hesitant gait towards the door. She didn’t respond to your apology.

Moira and Satya turn to you, checking up on you after the dorm door closes.

“Olivia informed us you been hospitalized, are you alright?” Moira asks softly.

“For now, yes. Just needed to talk to Zenyatta about it,” you shrug.

“As I stated before, you can rest today and I can bring you my notes,” Satya reassures.

“Thank you! But yeah, you all can go to class now,” you wave your hand dismissively.

“Can we meet again tomorrow? I think I’ll invite Dr. De Kuiper along,” Moira suggested.

“Oh, I need to text him! I forgot he texted me … Yeah go ahead and invite him if he’s not busy,” you smiled.

“Brilliant. I’ll see you over at the science building,” Moira nodded before leaving you alone, going to class with Satya. You stood in the hallways, still fixing the walls to see if there is anymore damage to it… Oh yeah, the stairs too –

“Thank you,” Olivia commented. You turn to her shyly.

“Hmm?”

“For defending me this whole time, even when you don’t have to,” Olivia smiled sweetly, even sounding happy. She usually sounds prideful or neutral most of the time she speaks, but this is one of those rare occasions when you hear genuine happiness in her voice.

“I don’t like drama, especially over nothing,” you replied, trying to sound aloof. Olivia just laughs, petting your head.

“Petting you feels like I’m petting Arturito,” Olivia snickers.

“Who?” you snap up, squinting.

“Arturito, my teddy bear,” Olivia specified. Mei gets out of the room, ready to go to class with her binder.

“Please go get some rest! I’ll text you later, okay?” Mei beams at you.

“Okei, you have a good day,” you nodded, smiling back timidly as Mei runs down the hall.

“I’m gonna go fix up the stairs, you can go,” you informed Olivia. 

“No problem, I’ll see you later okay?” Olivia smiled softly. 

“Mmhmm,” you nodded.

* * *

“… Hey.”

Jamison peers over at Mako from the bed, his eyes half-lidded.

“… (Y/N) and I are together. Don’t know what they see in me, but we are together,” he announced, albeit timidly. Jamison’s amber eyes widen and shine with awe.

“Ahh I’m so happy!! I told you everything will be alright!” Jamison beams, smiling ear to ear. Mako chuckles softly.

“I want to be your best man at the wedding! I will punch you if you don’t!” Jamison declared excitedly, squirming his remaining limbs around. Mako blushes, quickly imagining you in a wedding dress … Or suit? He is not sure what you will prefer because of how androgynous you are.

“I really wish you two the best! I really do!” Jamison assures, patting Mako’s back with his socked feet.

You came through the door quietly, coming over to Jamison’s side.

“The wife! Husband! Spouse!” Jamison squeaks cheerfully. You wheeze, not sure what he is talking about as you reach your hand out to hold his arm stump. You grew enthusiastic, your heart getting too full of this weird feeling of cheerfulness. You pull onto his arm stump only that – - Jamison quickly shuts up when he saw what you done.

You got his arm back. Not his metal hand, but his flesh and blood arm. Mako and Jamison stares awestruck, watching you reach down to his last stump and start regenerating his leg back. You start clapping in delight after you are done healing him, jumping on your spot.

Jamison slowly stick his new arm and leg out, looking at them in disbelief. Jamison quickly gets off the bed, standing up on his two feet. He jumps a few times, did some jumping jacks, lightning speed out the room to go see Baptiste. You and Mako follow behind him when he enters his room – Baptiste flinched from the sudden movement, staring wide-eye at Jamison. His eyes got wider when he saw Jamison is walking – and he got limbs!

“WH – K-KISA?!! SA SA’ A YE?!! ¡¿SA SA’ A --?!” Baptiste exclaimed, not believing his eyes.

“SEE?! (Y/N) HAS SUPERPOWERS!” Jamison declared enthusiastically, posing happily. Zenyatta is sitting on his bed, softly giggling at what’s happening while Baptiste continues to scream Haitian Creole. It was until thirty minutes later Baptiste order the creation of the prosthetics to be canceled, still confused on what is happening.

“What are you? A lizard? How did this happen?!” Baptiste demanded an answer.

“I told you, (y/n) has superpowers!” Jamison replied happily. Jamison quickly went back to his room before Baptiste can ask him any further questions. Jamison walks through the room, climbing over to his top bunk. Mako is watching the TV in the room while you showered. Mako and Jamison didn’t flinch when Baptiste slams the door open.

“You tell me about this witchcraft I’m witnessing – what do you mean (y/n) has something to do with your arms coming back?!” Baptiste exclaims.

“It’s true! I can go ahead and chop my pinky off so they can do it again!” Jamison cheerfully suggested.

“NO! No that’s not necessary just – this might help in the medical field; this might lead to a breakthrough!” Baptiste excitedly explained.

“Oh yeah I was supposed to ask them about something … I’ll go ask them about it, maybe they will figure out their major,” Jamison shrug.

“So you are fine, you are not feeling any pain? I can do a check up on Saturday,” Baptiste asks with a softer tone.

“Sure,” Jamison shrugs.

Baptiste went out the room, grumbling under his breath from how bamboozled he’s feeling. You finished showering, getting out of the bathroom and walking over to Mako’s empty bed.

“Uhh, hey kiddo – float over here,” Jamison wave his hand out to you, ushering you up. You obeyed, getting up to levitate on his side.

“We been … Hesitant about revealing you, but everyone seems to know about your situation now. Do you want the higher ups to know about your existence?” Jamison talks to you softly, but Mako’s head snap a millimeter to the left.

“You mean Jack?”

“Jack?”

“Jack Morrison, he helped me get help yesterday.”

“He knows about you?”

“Yeah, Olivia and I talk to him about it … Well, she did most of the talking for me.”

Mako listens intently, but he is still facing the TV.

“How much did she told him?”

“They talked a lot; about security flaws in the campus systems, my situation, my past, how they are going to help me … Jack says he is going to fix up my profile and stuff so I can officially be part of this university.”

“As a guinea pig?”

“What the fuck? No, as a student. He got mad because he was worried for me, thinking that I might get sick because I’m expose to germs my body isn’t really familiar with if nobody checked up on me.”

“But Dr. Ziegler checked up on you.”

“I’m sure he will see the medical files; it’s in there, I’m sure.”

“Are you sick?”

“I’m physically fine. I haven’t been feeling sick to my stomach unless it’s from stress.”

“So Jack knows you exist.”

“Yeah. Ana too. She’s very sweet.”

“Ana too?!”

“Yeah”

“Did Mako saw them?”

“They left hours prior … Why you are asking me about these things?”

“Because we try to hide you from the … From the school …” Jamison falters.

“Why?”

“We were scared they are going to experiment on you or something!”

“How? Like penetration?”

“I don’t know?? Maybe cutting you up? Torturing you?”

“I think that’s illegal … At least I hope so..? Is it legal at the time of year? Is the purge a thing?” you start to worry, faltering a little.

“The what?”

“Is it legal to kill people?”

“I – I’m not American.”

“Not American??”

“I’m an Aussie”

“Oh … But anyways, I feel like I can trust Jack. He saved my life.”

“How so?”

You immediately got quiet, Jamison noticing you frowning and avoiding his gaze.

“I try to … Uh …” you are too scared to tell him, knowing how much he cares for you.

“… Did you try to hurt yourself?”

You look up at him fearfully, seeing how sad his expression is.

“… Yes. I was afraid that I will hurt people, like I hurt you,”

“But you didn’t do anything! You got my limbs back for fuck’s sakes!”

“Jamison I’m mentally ill.”

“… Touché.”

“I’ll … I immediately think about doing that during extreme stress. It’s so easy for me to feel trapped. I always did feel that way. Sometimes it leads to an existential crisis… Also James, I destroyed your prosthetics with my powers – did you forget that?”

“ – And replace them with something better!” Jamison beams, stretching his arms and legs out.

“You’re too optimistic,” you laughed softly.

“So Jack is going to help you?”

“Yes, but I know he’s a busy man,” you nodded.

“He kind of scares me – too tough for an old man,” Jamison gave a scared chuckle.

“I think he’s very sweet!” you purse your lips, remembering how many head pats he gave you and how fatherly he is to you.

“Yeah he’s a good guy but he can be scary,” Jamison shrug.

“Is that all you are going to ask me?” you peer at Jamison with a soft gaze.

“I guess? Did you tell him what major you want?” Jamison asks, putting his arms behind his head.

“Nope. I’ll think about it,” you shrug.

“Okay, I think that’s all – just that we really care for you,” Jamison gave a melancholic smile.

You gave a small smile back with a nod, coming back down on the floor and leaving the room to go back on yours. You opened the door and saw Lucio on his computer, like always. He quickly turns to you, gasping and taking his headphones out.

“(y/n)! You’re okay!” Lucio gets off his chair, coming over to hug you. You’re not sure why he reacted this way.

“You alright? Nothing is wrong with you?” Lucio smiles, looking around you.

“Nope, why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“You seem to have missed me, did something happened?”

“Olivia told the professor you been hospitalized, so we got worried,” Lucio frown a little.

“Ooh … I’m fine,” you gave a comforting smile, nodding.

“What happened though?”

“Needed help and a checkup – someone took me there because they were worried,” you scratch your head, too lazy to explain everything.

“But you okay now, right?”

“Yeh.”

“Alright, just making sure,” Lucio pats your shoulders, coming back to his desktop. You lay on your bed to rest, looking at your phone… Oh yeah Siebren. You look over his text messages – there were a few from different times of day.

“Goedemorgen mijn lieveling <3  
May you have a wonderful day in class”

“Will you come over to class again? Can we hang out sometime for lunch?”

“I don’t know what’s going on in your personal life, but I do hope you are doing alright. Goede nacht, lieveling”

You felt so bad. You remember sending those kinds of messages to people only to never be responded to. It made your heart hurt. If gave you bad memories, causing you to cringe at yourself.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything the whole day yesterday – something happened and needed to go get help. I’m fine now but I’m going to rest up until tomorrow. Moira and I might hang out tomorrow and she said she is going to invite you; will you be busy by then?

Again I feel so bad – I had friends that would completely ignore me when I try to speak to them so I’m very sorry for stressing you out like that, nobody deserves to feel the way I felt in those situations”

You try to be genuine with your responses. You wanted to be emotionless with your responses, but you think it will bring comfort to him knowing that you feel bad about not responding soon. Empathy is always a good thing to have. Siebren immediately respond after you hit send. You gave out a sad giggle; it very much reminds you of yourself.

“Lieveling! Oh I’m so happy to hear from you! I missed you greatly!”

You blushed, weirded out at how happy someone is to talk to you. Usually it annoys you because you found those people as boring, partly the reason why you blame yourself for being a loner.

“I couldn’t access my phone at all either. My powers were offline yesterday.”

“I’m so glad you spoke to me finally; I was going to wait for you by your window”

“wh  
Why my window?”

“I’m … I’m close by. I came back from the lab but I’m on my way to your window. Can I please see you?”

“You sure? You can come by but I don’t want to distract your work. I know you are a busy man.”

“Don’t worry about such things, I always have time to do anything – I’m coming over by your window”

Siebren was at the lab with Harold, talking about how to improve the machine and other projects involving the manipulation of gravity. He suddenly felt a buzz in his pocket; he hastily took it out, looking at his phone to see your texts. His breathing got heavy while his heart thump, so blissful over hearing from you again. He quickly responds to you, not caring about how weird it is to do it in the middle of speaking to Harold. He doesn’t mind though, just thought it was something important.

“I might go soon – is there anymore subjects we need to discuss?” Siebren looks up at Harold calmly, despite how excited he is feeling.

“Uh no! We just need to work out some more equations – finals are coming up, so we are just going to focus on our students,” Harold explained cheerfully, not noticing Siebren’s sudden burst of energy.

“Alright – I’ll be on my way out for now, you have a good evening,” Siebren gave a kind smile.

“You have a good night as well!” Harold smiled back. Siebren didn’t hesitate to leave, power walking out of the science building and onto the dorms. He starts to float, flying over to where your window is. He can finally see you, touch you, smell you, f e el you …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KIZA?! SA SA’ A YE?!! ¡¿SA SA’ A --?! = WHAT?! WHAT IS THAT?! WHAT IS--?!!
> 
> Goedemorgen mijn lieveling <3 = Good morning darling
> 
> Goede nacht, lieveling = Good night darling


	38. The Id and the Superego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siebren is really happy to see you ... Maybe t o o happy.

You were getting sleepy, but you didn’t want to leave Siebren hanging. He didn’t respond to you after he told you not to worry about his schedule. You cuddle in your bed, feeling too lazy to stand around … You force yourself to get up, coming over to open your window – only to get spooked when your arms are grabbed, pulling you out of the window. Lucio didn’t notice what happened since his back is turned.

“Mijn lieveling, mijn gefielde~…” Siebren coos, crushing you into his strong arms. You squeak, squirming in his grasp smoothly. You calm down when you know it’s just him. He put his nose on your scalp, inhaling the smell of the shampoo you used. He shivered as he hums, feeling your warm and soft body.

“So affectionate,” you giggled, not finding his behavior strange or too invasive. He didn’t really respond, just debating whether to pin you on the brick wall or drag you over to his house. Reading that people have ignored you when you try to speak to them angered him; how can anyone refuse to give you attention? How dare they?

“Sir? You alright?” you pat his chest, stuck in his hug.

“I love you so much,” Siebren squeeze you harder, making you squeak out your discomfort. You squirm, but it only excites him further. It made him feel things, seeing how small you are compared to him. He can easily overpower you, the thought of it making his cock twitch.

You didn’t respond to his confession, only whining and complaining about how stuck you are. He’s getting bolder, his hands getting dangerously close to your thighs and lower back. He wants to squeeze your chub so bad, hearing you whine to his fondling – he grew harder, his breathing ragged, illogical …

“Can we get inside? It’s cold outside,” you suggested, still oblivious to his horny state.

“Oh uh *ahem* sure, of course,” he finally lets you go, fixing his tie. He carefully got inside after you, barely noticing Lucio being there. He frowned, wanting to be alone with you. Can he pin you on the bed? No, Siebren – what are you thinking? But you will look so cute when staring at him submissively. Mmmph, your body felt so good rubbing up against him – he remembers that one time your soft butt cheeks rubbed up against his crotch in bed, making him hard. He wants to feel that again …

Siebren grabs you again, this time from behind. You whined a little in surprise, your feet being off the ground with how tall Siebren is. You squirm a little, only turning Siebren on further. He is not thinking straight anymore; he feels like an animal, yet very much alive. He feels good all over, only wanting to t ou ch you.

“Au u uuhh Siebren! Are you going to see me and Moira tomorrow for lunch? I’m helping her with stuff,” you ask, trying to get an answer from him because he’s awfully quiet. You start to feel awkward. 

“Mmhmm…” Siebren nodded, still holding you tight against his torso. He forgot Lucio is there, but he’s facing the computer with headphones… Then Mako got through the door. He stops dead on his track, seeing Siebren holding you up.

... Why is he touching you? Why is he touching something that is _his_ and his alone?

“… He’s been clingy this whole time,” you commented flatly, still stuck to him. Mako huffed, coming over to pull you away from Siebren.

“What are you doing?!” Siebren suddenly snaps, scaring you. Mako grabs your waist and pulls you off him, wanting that man to stay away from his mate. Mako is a man with animalistic desires himself; he can tell Siebren has bad intentions.

“Siebren I need to sleep – I’ll see you soon, okay? Go back home, it’s okay!” you pat Siebren's arm, feeling pain from how rough Mako's grabbing is when he tries to pull you away. Siebren furrow his brows, feeling angry from having you get taken away. He wouldn't let you go. 

“BUT I MISSED YOU!” Siebren exclaimed with pain in his voice. That’s when you realize something is wrong.

“… Siebren?” you asked worryingly. Mako suddenly punch him square in the jaw, causing him to let you go. You drop to the floor before struggling to stand up.

“MAKO! WHAT THE FUCK!” you yelled at him, quickly turning to Siebren. He’s slouches, covering his face as he shivers a little.

“Violence is usually the answer,” Mako commented flatly.

“Wh--?? He’s a senior citizen! They are fragile humans!” you scolded at Mako but cut short when you noticed that your bed looks off… You got close to the other furniture, realizing that everything is floating a few inches off the floor. Mako noticed as well. You know you are not doing that on purpose, and you are not angry enough to lose control – you and Mako slowly turns to Siebren. He covered his face, floating up to the ceiling. The furniture and things started to shake slightly, floating higher off the floor … Until everything slams back down. Siebren looks up finally, appearing calm.

… You quickly run to him, cupping his face in your hands. He got a surprisingly small bruise on the side of his face. You stare anxiously until light got back in his eyes, looking down at you.

“Oh hey (y/n), did something happen?” he asks cheerfully.

Both Mako and you got disturbed. This is the first time you felt scare for this man. You have no idea what was wrong with him because he was never specific on what was wrong with him.

“Siebren, you don’t remember the punch?” you ask in a whisper.

“The what?” he tilts his head a little.

“You don’t remember Mako punching you?” you asked flatly, with fear on your expression.

“Rutledge? Why would he punch me?”

You got terrified, getting away from Siebren and letting his face go.

“… What’s wrong, lieveling? Why you look scared?” Siebren frowned, getting worried for you.

“Fine, I’ll tell you what’s wrong with him – he’s not right in the head. He got psychologically damaged from an experiment,” Mako stated bluntly. Siebren grew pale hearing that – he’s shock that Mako knew something about his past. He looked around the room and the two faces nervously, his hands getting clamp.

“… Did I do something? What happened?” Siebren asked fearfully, his voice shaking.

“No no! Siebren, please go home. You seem awfully exhausted – Moira and I will meet you tomorrow, okay?” you assured, cupping his face gently while you heal his bruise. You just noticed it’s going away so long as you will it.

“Moira?” he locks his fearful eyes towards your sad ones. Your heart hurts from how worried you are.

“… Oh okay … Just – I missed you,” Siebren stuttered.

“I’ll try to talk to you, okay? Just _please_ get some rest,” you basically begged.

“You need a ride?” you ask quietly.

“Oh no! I’ll be leaving soon, they will ride me back home – thank you for reminding me! I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” Siebren smiled innocently, patting your head. You are comforted by the touch, but you are still scared for him. He got out the window, leaving you and Mako alone. Lucio went through the whole thing on his desktop, having no idea what just happened. You glared at Mako, scaring him a little -- even though you look cute angry.

“Mako, you do NOT punch elderly people you animal! That’s horrible!” you scolded at him.

“He wouldn’t let you go!” Mako exclaimed back.

“Also what – what did you say?? What’s wrong with Siebren? What’s wrong with him? Why did he act like that?” you asked nervously.

“It’s … It’s a long story. Jamison, Olivia, and I found out he’s been detained for a few years by the government,” Mako respond with no problem.

“Detained? For criminal activities?” you furrow your brows.

“No, detained because he is not okay and his powers are dangerous to everyone around,” Mako replied flatly.

“But why? Why is he like that?” you got a bit teary eye, so scared for him.

"An experiment he did years ago at the space station, resulting in psychological damage and making him have an effect on gravity,” Mako explained, feeling regret suddenly. You frowned, understanding the things Siebren told you. He’s been talking about how he is struggling with something, even witnessing his destructive abilities when he demolished that old building.

“I’ll – I’ll confront him about it. He should get help if he is not getting any,” you mumbled shakily.

“Yeah he’s not. Olivia confirm that he’s only checked once a month,” Mako nodded.

“What?!”

“Yep.”

“He’s teaching and doing all these things – his situation will get worse if he stresses himself out any further!”

“Don’t worry about it; it’s not your job to heal him,” Mako shrug, trying to be reassuring.

“He’s still my friend!” you got teary, getting scared for him. Mako quickly notice, coming over to hold you.

“Don’t blame yourself over anything,” he stares right at your eyes. You blink away the tears, trying not to start crying and make a mess.

“When did you found out about all this?” you squint and scrunch your nose up.

“Yesterday.”

“Oh … Mako I’m scared for him – he might be worse off than I am, even …” your eyes grew fearful. Mako just hugs you tightly.

“Don’t worry about it,” Mako grumbles.

“Let me close the window,” you mumbled out shyly. Mako let you go so you can do so. You came back to Mako, holding his hand.

“… Mako.”

“Hmm.”

“What am I to you?” you ask, looking straight into his eyes.

“… Mine.”

“Your what though?”

“My everything,” Mako blushed, trying to hold eye contact.

You giggled, making Mako crack a smile. You pull him out the room, wanting to leave Lucio alone since he’s clearly too focused on his desktop. You are also too shy to do anything with Mako in front of people.

“I’m going to your room, by the way – are you okay with that?” you ask softly.

Mako nodded and hum, not seeing a problem with it. You two reach to his room. Jamison knocked out on his bunk bed, snoring softly. You hold onto Mako’s hand still, clinging to him. The TV in the room is on, but the volume is lowered.

“Does anyone know about our relationship? Can I let everyone know?” you ask.

“Absolutely,” Mako nodded.

You beamed, giggling happily.

“Property of Roadhog. I’ll brand you if I have to,” Mako commented with a dark smile, sounding sadistic – he suddenly realizes how wrong that sound, quickly looking down at you nervously. What he didn’t expect is how … Happy? You look? You look awfully blissful for such a weird and intimidating statement.

You got onto his bed, snuggling up to the covers as if you are ready to nap. Mako clears his throat, feeling his cheeks reddening if he kept looking at your curves. You are so curvaceous and plumped. He loves how soft and squishy you are. He grumbles to himself mentally how oblivious you are to your seductive nature. You had no idea how your jeans would outline your plump body deliciously, how your hips sway as you walk or stand around, how you would squeeze your thighs together when you sit … He can make a list of the thousands of ways you get his heart racing. Wait … It’s okay for him to get these thoughts, right? Right? Would you be horrified or flattered if he tells you how he’s been masturbating to you in the shower for the past few weeks? Would you break up with him?

“… (y/n)?” Mako asks shyly. You hummed to his response. Hhhh even your noises are cute.

“I need to tell you something, but it gets gross,” Mako avoid your gaze.

“You have sexual partners online,” you guessed with a dumb smile on your face.

“Wh – no! I been attached to you, thinking about you all the time – I even start getting these weird dreams and –h---….” Mako falters, too nervous to tell you about the shower.

“What kind of dreams?” you asked happily, rolling on your back.

“I … I’m a pervert, okay? I been thinking about doing gross things to you… I’m sorry,” Mako felt ashamed, looking to the side. He nervously looks up at you since you were quiet. Again, that blissful look on your face.

“That’s all? Is it only me though?” you asked, blinking.

“Uh … Yeah. I only get these thoughts and feel weird stuff towards you. I don’t remember feeling this way towards anyone else,” Mako blushed. Your wonderful pretty eyes beam up; you sit up a little and stretch your arms out, like you want to give him a hug. Mako reach out, placing his hand on your soft hips while letting you wrap your arms around his neck.

“Are you disgusted?” Mako asks lowly.

“I love you more,” you reply in a hushed tone, a hint of smile in your voice.

Mako’s eyes widen, not believing what he is hearing. Are you that perfect? Are you this loyal? How can anyone take for granted such a wonderful person like yourself? Including someone lucky enough to have your feelings? Mako tightens his grip on you, his arms pulling you flush to his torso. You hummed happily, nuzzling your cheek on his shoulder.

“I’m grateful to have this chance, but whoever took you for granted is an idiot for not seeing how perfect you are,” Mako assures, holding you tight. You didn’t say anything, but you made happy noises.

“Desensitize that phrase. Make the phrase no longer have the negative connotation it always has,” you demanded with a soft tone.

“Speak English,” Mako grumbled – you are too smart for him to understand sometimes, but he will still listen to your colorful voice.

“Do you love me? Like you actually care for me and want me to grow stronger?” you asked shyly. You want him to say it out of the blue, from the bottom of his heart. But you can only receive what you ask, so you are hesitant whether to straight up tell him what phrase you want to hear from him. You are too stubborn. You want him to say it first.

“I want you to be happier; I love you too much,” Mako gave a small smile, rubbing your back softly.

“… Do you love me?”

“I love you … I love you more than you love yourself.”

“Is that bad?”

“I do not mind … But you need to know how special you are. Just stop doubting yourself. You have worth, at least more precious than myself,” Mako reassures lovingly. You melt with how soft and kind his voice sounds. It sounds different … Yet, it sounds like it’s the Mako he supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mijn lieveling, mijn geliefd = My darling, my beloved


	39. Time Heals All Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You talk to Lucio and Hana about who you are. 
> 
> Warning for subtle mentions of homophobia/transphobia

Lucio and Hana are hanging out with you in your room for lunch. They are going to talk about the next show tomorrow since Hana is going to participate.

“Oh uh he told me it’s okay to tell everyone,” you mumbled shyly. Lucio and Hana look up while they chew their food.

“Mako and I are a couple,” you shrug, not holding eye-contact.

“Wow really?” Hana asks curiously.

“He’s pretty scary but good for you!” Lucio laughs before taking another bite from his sandwich. You nodded, smiling and blushing.

“Didn’t know you are into bad boys – or bad men? Isn’t he a bit old?” Hana tilts her head.

“I just realize I don’t know his age,” you wheezed, Lucio snickering along.

“Oh boy—Okay okay! So we come an hour early to get things ready – are you just going to make an appearance or you are streaming?” Lucio turns to Hana.

“I don’t know how good the connection is going to be, but I will do so with no problem,” Hana shrug.

As you continue to eat, you suddenly get a text message – it’s from Moira.

“I asked Olivia if you are doing okay but I want to ask you – are you still going to meet me?”

“Yeah! I have nothing to do today and Siebren wanted to see me”

“Oh okay, good! I’m fascinated about how you manage to bring back Jamison’s limbs”

“Baptiste was freaking out yesterday so I imagine you all would be confused too”

“Ahh I know the man. He’s a fellow classmate since we are both in the medical field.”

“Cool! Is Siebren coming? I’m worried for him”

“Just asked him. He’s going to come with me to my lab – you want me to get you a ride or you want to walk over to my house?”

“I rather go there on my own. At what time?”

“6:30 PM”

“Okay. See you then!”

“Same to you – here is the address”

“(y/n)?”

You look up blankly. Hana was asking you something.

“Why do you like Mako?” Hana asks … Again.

“… He thick.”

… Lucio and Hana wheezes, laughing intensifying with each passing second.

“It’s true, why yall laughing?” you stare at the two, blushing and getting annoyed.

“IT’S SO OUT OF NOWHERE!” Lucio snickered, getting up as he kept shaking.

“Well … I love him because he did a lot of good things, like taking good care of me. He is a handsome man with an interesting personality. I do not mind his age because I been having a preference to older men,” you shrug.

“Aww!” Hana cups her face.

“Why you like old guys?” Lucio asks, a brow raise at you.

“People my age looks like a bunch of fetuses,” you said with a straight face. The two starts cackling again.

“You two. Fetuses," you pointed at the two youngsters. 

“HOW AM I A FETUS?!” Lucio screech a little, his stomach hurting.

“You and Hana look awfully young, like high school young,” you pointed out.

“We are in our twenties so no surprise there,” Lucio shrug, his laughing dying down.

“You are so funny – I needed that laugh!” Hana beamed before sipping her soda can. You just shrug, not sure what to respond.

“Did you go out with older men in the past?” Lucio asks. You got awfully quiet, your chest feeling gross from remembering the past.

“No… Mako is my first actual boyfriend,” you stated hesitantly.

“Whoa really?” Lucio furrow his brows, surprised.

“Yes. I’m a virgin at the age of 20 – my family and the people I grew around either had no knowledge or they put emphasis on abstinence. My situation is that I never really like people. I did a few times … But … Nothing came to fruition. And it’s only once or twice. This is my third time. Third time is the charm,” you explain without shame.

“I think the both of us are also virgins,” Hana pointed at Lucio and herself.

“Oh … It’s because I found out once I’m an adult that everyone around me basically did commit at least one sexual act. I never did and I never knew. I thought those people would get ostracized by society, at least that’s how it is back where I live. I didn’t know how … I guess so commonplace sex is until I got out more,” you discuss.

“Does it scare you?” Hana asks.

“At first I thought I was celibate until I realize I have not much memories of feeling sexual attraction towards nobody, even as an adult. People in high school are already doing the … doing the scitalawingus type stuff while I have no interest in it,” you said before Hana and Lucio starts laughing again.

“Okay uhh … You people might ask me sooner or later but I’m demisexual – Asexual,” you patted your chest, waiting for them to stop laughing.

“Wait – what you say?” Lucio wheeze out.

“I’m in the asexual spectrum – I almost never feel sexual attraction,” you explained.

“Ooh I heard of them!” Hana nodded eagerly.

“People were talking shit about folks like me back where I’m from – I’m also genderqueer, so I’m awfully different,” you patted your chest more.

“Oh you don’t need to come out! We are all living as we choose to at this time and age,” Lucio assured, patting your shoulder.

“What’s your preferred pronouns?” Hana asks curiously.

“People were referring to me with *they and them*, but I don’t mind being seen as a boy or girl," you answered her question.

“How did you know you were – wait what is it again?” Lucio squints.

“I’m genderqueer, specifically non-binary. I feel like me, that’s it. People thought I am a tomboy, but I don’t want to do boy stuff, just … Stuff. I do what I want. I am what I am. I can’t relate to either the girls or boys because I’m not interested in neither of their norms. I’m just me,” you explained, remembering how you felt different from everyone in elementary because you really didn’t get along with neither the girls nor boys. Girls are too emotional and closed-off while the boys only saw you as another girl and a nuisance, also tending to be in a bad or troublesome mood. You didn’t understand them.

“Is there a name you want to be referred to?” Hana asks, wanting to be as supportive as she can.

“Just (y/n), that is all. Oh yeah – I feel weird if people only refer to me as a girl or a woman, but I don’t want to be a guy. I’m just me,” you added.

“We accept you, it’s not really a huge deal like back in medieval times,” Lucio pats your shoulder.

“But gay marriage wasn’t legalize until … Like 50 years ago,” Hana squints at Lucio.

“Now that you put it that way …” Lucio contemplates. 

“Jack Morrison is gay, you know that?" Hana stated matter-of-factly.

“HUH.” You straighten yourself up. Hana and Lucio look at you.

“Yeah – our principal is a gay man. There are many people in this university that is part of the LGBTQ+ community, including the staff!” Hana smiled happily.

“Oh … Because I was told I’m nothing or stupid or … I … I don’t think I told my parents what I am. Maybe my sister but her friends would kill me if they found out I’m calling myself genderqueer …” you mumbled, not sure what to say. Lucio and Hana look at one another worryingly, their hands coming over to pat your shoulders.

“At least I know my folks are going to be happy in the future. That is the future I wish to see for my friends and the community,” you smiled softly.

“You’re acting as if you are in the year 2015!” Hana laughs.

“I didn’t tell you two?”

Hana and Lucio stares at you.

“I’m … I’m a time-traveler. Mr. Morrison knows about my situation and is fixing it but yeah. I’m from the year 2018,” you pat your chest.

“Whoa … How?” Hana asks, eyes glaze with curiosity.

“Turns out that there is this machine back at the science building that caused me to come over here. I don’t know why me specifically, but I’m here. I’m stuck here but I’m very accepting of my situation,” you smiled a little as a comfortable reminder.

“No wonder you seem old-fashioned with your music style – Do you know I got inspiration from you for last Friday’s show?” Lucio grins.

“… Oooh no wonder, I got nostalgic hearing those songs and I was confused,” you nodded, smiling.

“Yeah you were listing me really old songs and I made it work!” he beams, sticking his arms out with enthusiasm.

“Oh … Well, now you know why I like weird classic stuff,” you shrug.

“How is the future looking so far?” Hana asks, laying on her stomach with her upper legs swinging and her hands supporting her face. Her cheeks are a bit squish from that. So cute!

“Time heals all wounds – I am happy to see so much technological and scientific advancements, especially in the medical field,” you added the last thing so you can relate to Lucio.

“Yeah! Might be really crazy for you!” Hana winks.

“It’s been the most interesting last few weeks of my life, yes,” you nodded slowly.

Hana felt something, reaching her hand on her pocket to pull out a pink phone.

“Oh! I need to go to training – see you later tomorrow!” Hana gets up to get ready to leave.

Lucio and you told her goodbye. Lucio eventually needs to leave too, so you took that time to get ready. Mako and Jamison came along later to check up on you and for a break. You quickly run out to see Mako, jumping into his torso. He carefully tries to hold you up, laughing a little. Mei came with the two, so you also gave her a hug.

“How are you feeling, (y/n)?” Mei asks softly.

“I’m good! How are you?” you asked back in a soft tone.

“I’m good too! I’m glad you are doing okay… Oh! I’m so glad you and Mako are together!” Mei smile brightly for you. You smiled as well, blushing.

“He handsome boi. He thick boi,” you mumbled, patting her back. Mei just giggled in response while Mako blushed. You let go of her, hugging Jamison next.

“So many people are touching me because they are so freaked out over my new limbs,” Jamison commented, hugging you back. After hugging everyone, you went back to the room to get ready. You didn’t notice Mako following you to your room, so you accidentally squeeze the door on him.

“Oh PFF—Sorry,” you wheeze, letting him in. You close the door finally. You pass by Mako to pull your clothes out of thin air, putting it on the bed. You are wearing pajamas. Mako stood around awkwardly, not sure what to do.

“Are you going to see that man?” Mako asks out of the blue. You turn to him.

“I’m going to see Moira and him; he’s not going to be by himself, why?” you asked, having a bad feeling about this.

“When did you met Moira?” Mako asks. He has his mask on, so you can’t tell what he is feeling.

“Uhh … Oh back when I was helping Lucio with his show, I think last Friday?” you squint, trying to remember.

“Hm.”

“Yeah I met Moira through Siebren. Then I met Satya with Moira last Tuesday; she and I have the same thing, so it’s nice to see someone that can relate to me,” you explained, taking your pajama pants off to put on some jeans. Mako look away a little, blushing.

“… Should I leave you alone?” Mako asks shyly.

“Huh? Oh you can watch, you’re good,” you shrug, hopping a little to fit your jeans in. Mako coughs a little, seeing how your butt cheek got squish as you try to put your pants on. You manage to put it on, taking your shirt off next to put your other one. You turn your back on him while doing so since you’re a bit too shy to show your chest. Mako still try to look away to give you some privacy.

“But yeah Moira will keep an eye on him,” you assure, before putting your socks on.

“Did she try to touch you or hurt you?” Mako asks seriously. He slowly goes back to looking at you, now that you are dressed.

“Of course not, what the fuck?” you squint, putting your shoes on.

“Okay,” Mako shrug.

“She asked me to do the usual tricks I do with my powers – other than that, we just talk to one another,” you said, fixing your hair. Mako comes close to you, sitting next to you on the bed. You quickly snuggle up to his side. He wraps his arm around you.

“I’ll be okay, I’m feeling stable for now,” you comforted him, patting his shoulder. Mako nodded hesitantly, rubbing your back softly… Then doing that thing that makes you start speaking in gibberish.

“MAKO!” you yelled, shoving him a little as the two of you laugh. He rubs small circles right on your spine. He suddenly reaches over and picks you up, placing you in front of him on his lap. He starts massaging your back like that one time, making you shiver and whine softly. You remember that time, feeling the same weird stuff as before. Mako felt his cock twitch to the sound of your whimpers, rubbing his thumbs against your back. He didn’t notice how his hips grinds against you as his breathing grew ragged.

“T-that one time –..” you managed to say without gurgling.

“Hmm?”

“When you pinned me down that one time, I like it,” you confessed, blushing before covering your face with a strangled whine. Mako lower his hands to your waist, then to your hips and upper thighs. He gave a gentle squeeze at your chub. You hummed, not minding his touch at all. He lets you go to remove his mask carefully. You didn’t turn to look at him, but his face is flushed and a bit sweaty. You quickly felt his warm breath on the nape of your neck, making you shiver a little.

“Also … Did you hump me that one time? I think it was a …. Saturday? No, Sunday? Uhh…” you wonder, appearing oblivious. Mako start to sweat some more. You are his partner, sure, but he still wants your full consent if he were to ever get too far with anything.

“Nevermind! Ah hah … I’m gonna go get my stuff ready so I can see Moira,” you mumbled a little, attempting to get off him – but he wraps his arms around you, tightening you in place.

“M – Mako?” you turn a little but couldn’t really see his face.

“I don’t want you to leave …” he said huskily.


	40. What's your Kinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are weird af. Also this chapter is weird af too so letting yall know it gets a bit nsfw and a bit of violence rippp

Jamison and Mako walked to class in the halls of the science building, Mei and Olivia catching up to the two.

“The whole class is going to freak out, especially Moira,” Mei grins happily. They reach to the class, Jamison sitting down next to Mako while Mei and Olivia sit nearby. After everyone sat down, the three professors came along. Siebren seems to be back to normal, but Mako still glares at him with jealou-- … suspicion. Jamison tap his fingers on the table –

“Oh Mr. Fawkes! I’m glad you are back!” Winston grins happily.

“I’m fine!” Jamison smiles tiredly, stretching and cracking his fingers.

“That’s a realistic looking prosthetic you got there,” Winston nodded, curiously looking at Jamison.

“They are my real arm and leg,” Jamison grins, waiting for their response. Moira leans over to look at him – then she just got up, not bothering to ask when she grabs his arm and furrow her brows at it. Olivia and Mei look at each-other, knowing what’s going to happen next.

Eventually Jamison is surrounded by everyone, including the professors. Harold and Winston observe the new limbs, fascinated at the true skin and muscles.

“Aren’t we going to review the final?” Jamison snickers while Moira pokes and fondle his arms.

“Oh yeah *ahem* of course,” Winston nodded a bit nervously, coming back to the front of the class.

“Hey Mei!” Jamison calls to his friend.

She looks up, standing next to his desk and Moira.

“(y/n) and Mako are together – I’m so happy for them,” Jamison beams. Mei quickly looks at Mako with stars in her eyes, Mako turning away with a blush. She gave a huge smile.

“That’s so cute! No wonder Mako seems happier!” Mei hops excitedly, Jamison shaking with enthusiasm. What Jamison didn’t notice is Siebren’s sudden frowning – he was holding his arm with Moira but was listening in on the conversation.

_(y/n) and Mako are together!_

* * *

“M-Mako, I know you are overprotective, but I still need to see other human beings,” you pouted, squirming against him. He just grunts, keeping you firmly on his lap. You get annoyed at how he can be too clingy, but you like how forceful he is though…

“You gonna need to tie me up if you want me to stay with you,” you purse your lips, swaying your hips to tease him. Mako gulps, his shaft fully erect. It twitches painfully against the inside of his jeans, being pushed against by your behind. He immediately imagines you in a strict hogtie. Without thinking, Mako grabs your arms and pull them behind you, pinning you down onto the bed. Instead of being in pain, you whined softly to his advances. He pants, looking around the room but not sure what to do.

“Like that – I like that,” you stated breathily. He moves a little above you, rubbing himself against your soft cheeks.

“I’m into daddy type stuff, uhh bondage, restraints, gagging, breath play, chocking, degradation maybe—no, I like body worship and praising … uhhhhh…” you list out your kinks casually, not noticing how Mako is awfully surprised at how … Colorful? Your kinks are?

“W-What about you?” you turn a little, but still can’t see his face. Mako is blushing profusely, awfully excited at you. You are very submissive and even have similar hobbies to him when it comes to S&M – He rub his clothe cock on your ass with need, grunting. He always liked the idea of domination, but he didn’t really like anyone enough to explore those things. Basically just watched porn of it from what he can remember.

“Mako~?” you call for him happily, not against him humping against you as you position yourself carefully.

“Huh…?” Mako looks up at you from staring at your lower body for too long.

“You don’t like the things I like? It’s okay if you don’t – what is the stuff you like?” you asks casually, wanting him to feel comfortable despite how weird the predicament you are in.

“Huh? Oh no! No – yes, yeah, I’m … I’m glad. Submissive, right?” Mako stuttered, not really paying attention to anything.

“I’m very submissive, yes,” you nodded.

“Good.”

“I was too shy to tell you, but … I had this dream about you.”

“Hmm?”

“I –” you gulped – then someone came in the room. It was Lucio; he forgot something from his computer. He takes it and leaves the room, not even noticing you or Mako on the bed. The two of you froze until he left – until you took the opportunity to phase out of Mako’s grip. Mako looks around wide eye until he saw you at the door.

“I love spending time with you, but I must go see my friends – I’ll come back soon, okay?” you squint at him, picking some stuff to put it in your void. Mako got off from the bed with a grumble, his erection bothering him – until you come up to place a kiss on his cheek. He blushed, feeling a little better.

“… I’ll give you heAD—” you quickly sprint out the window before Mako can process what you said. He whips around with a “WH-“ sound, but you are gone by then.

You finally got out of the dorms, despite how much you wanted to stay with Mako. You quickly fly away to an area close to Moira’s home, using your GPS. She lives at most 5 miles away from campus. You decided to get on the sidewalk to look at the lights and Christmas decorations. You always loved lights, especially Christmas lights and neon lights. You walk slowly, loving how cold the weather is and seeing the streets. The future does look lovely – not as apocalyptic as you expect it to be. You felt a bit anxious though, but you just thought it’s because you are worried for Siebren. At some point in the journey, you saw a man walking up. He looks a bit familiar … O h n o.

It’s the rioter. It’s Reyes. You shivered as you slow down, looking away from him so he doesn’t recognize you. You didn’t saw Gabriel’s mouth slowly curving into a wicked grin as he drew closer, slowing down to a stop right in front of you.

“… Don’t think I forget about you~” Gabriel rumbles.

That immediately got you screaming in a high pitch voice, scrambling your legs around to fly. You manage to shoot away from him before levitating upward, still flailing your limbs around – you look down to see him on the sidewalk. You noticed a dark smoke revolving around him before he disappears into the mist – the smoke coming towards you!

“WHAT THE FUCKHFHGKJFDHKJFDHGKJFDHG!!”

Nobody behind the windows of buildings and skyscrapers noticed you running away in air from a dark cloud, screaming and speaking nonsense. You didn’t notice that you are not taking this seriously; you are laughing! You are treating this like it’s just playing tag. It was your favorite game! You giggled and heaved, not scared of Reyes at all since you are too confident of yourself. You know you can easily escape from him – he got superpowers, so what? You are OP, the mary-sue, the discount Kakarot!--

You squeak when you felt his arms roughly holding onto your thighs, not letting you go. You and Reyes fell onto the grass, dragging on for a few feet. That hurted. You flail your arms to get away from him, but he climbs over you – roughly pushing the side of your head to the ground. You whined, squirming under him. Reyes pants heavily, tired from all that running. Your arms hold onto his shoulders to make him not lower himself on you, but you can barely touch him. You forgot how small you are. He is not as big as Mako, but he is still a tall man – around six feet. Doesn’t help that he has a lot of muscles. He probably read your mind.

“Should have picked with someone of your own size,” Reyes chuckled darkly.

“What do you want you werido!? Go away you idiot!” you exclaimed, clearly not scared of what he is capable of. You did scream but you are not scarED SHUT UP! You angrily push against his shoulders, trying to squeeze out of his grip. Then he places something cold on your temple – oh it’s a gun. Oh no. It’s a massive one too. He kept poking the end of it on your chin, forehead, and cheek; it’s like he is debating where he should place the bullet in. You quiet down and whimpered, not realizing you are lowering your arms to your chest. Reyes got too close to you, placing his belly on yours while he still has his big ass gun placed on your temple. You fantasize about this happening to you but w h y? He’s not even cute! His voice sounds like a twink while he is probably too rough to the touch. Not to mention having terrible problem solving and is just another edgy dumbass—

You shivered and gave a shaky whine, Reyes peering over you with a blank stare. He hums lowly, pressing the tip of his gun on the underside of your jaw. You close your eyes shut, wanting to imagine it’s just Mako. You are trying not to freak out. Monsters like him probably wants that reaction.

“You can choose where,” Reyes shrug a little, smiling wickedly as he moves his hand from your head to your neck. You didn’t want to look at his sadistic expressions. Too intimate. Too weird. Mako would kill him on the spot if he found out this is happening. You daydream for a bit about how Mako would be so overprotective of you, declaring how nobody can touch you except him. Ahhh what a handsome boi~.

“Maybe straight at your heart, or at the subscapular artery…” he mumbles deeply, pressing his gun onto your chest and shoulder.

“What kind of gun is that?? Why is it bigger than my thigh?” you mumbled, furrowing your brows. He presses it hard onto your chest, between the ribs.

“Ow!”

“Why aren’t you screaming and crying for mercy?” Reyes tilt his head, confused at how calm you are being.

“You are nothing but a loser! A whiny idiot that talks like a twink! A stupid edgelord with no purpose in li—MMmmph!” Reyes growled at you, smashing his palm onto your mouth to gag you. He presses his gun onto your soft tummy, hurting you a little. You struggled while you try to pull his arm away from you.

“I know your secret … I know that nobody is expecting you to come back.”

You opened your eyes, squinting at Reyes with pleading eyes. He chuckled at that.

“Lena and Olivia have reported some interesting stuff about you – about how you are the missing kid from decades ago and how destructive you are with your powers. If the administration found out, they might imprison you forever,” Reyes calmly explain, his eyebrows arching up in false pity. Oh, of course Lena would report you.

“Your sister has no idea about you, and your parents are in their graves … Would you like to join them?” Reyes smiled innocently at you while you mumbled through his hand.

“Your choice --- the grave? Or detained forever by the government?” Reyes asks, humming. He straddled over you, his gun still pointing at you.

“You are so cute too, would have been a shame…” he mumbled, his chest rumbling as he crushes you under him. You whined, your limbs moving around in a panic. He suddenly grabs your neck and cuts your air supply, his hand on your mouth pressing his thumb and index finger to close your nose up. You do have a breathplay kink but w h y. Only Mako is allowed to do that to you. This is messed up. You desperately grab his arms, trying to pull it away from you. But it stays firmly on you, Reyes sitting on you while he sits up. He watches the panic in your eyes, stifling a groan at how pretty you look.

“Mmm … Maybe I can give you another option…” Reyes blinked slowly, still not letting you breathe.

“Maybe I can keep you as my slave, you would look so cute being left hanging on a noose or tied up for hours – I can tell you like what I’m doing, you naughty girl,” Reyes growled as his hand tightens around your throat. You whined loudly, arching your back while still trying to pull his arm off – until you did a reverse Michael Jackson antigravity lean, ghosting through Reyes.

“HUH?!” he whips around, trying to look for you until he saw you a few feet away.

“Sorry. Only Mako can touch me like that,” you pouted, snapping your head up with an “hmph!”. Reyes snarls, quickly getting up to run after you. You ran off and start flying away, still not showing much fear. Again, he chases after you while you hid in different places. He still doesn’t give up, even after running for over ten minutes. You are wondering as to how he got those powers; is he in the same situation as you? No … He looks like a demon, as if he is slowly wasting away. He looks awfully pale while you could have seen his eyes glow red. He’s not human. You hid at a specific dark corner, hearing his loud footsteps of his combat boots.

“I can’t see you, but I know you’re there …” he stated menacingly. You don’t remember his voice sounding like that. He sounds scary – all rough, deeper, and hoarse. Maybe if you throw holy water at him …?

You screech when he suddenly leans into view, turning into smoke– you ran off enough to make him farther enough not to lunge at your upper body, but he got ahold of your hips. You start to drag him around with him holding onto your thighs. You phase out of him when you remembered you can do that, running away before flying. You suddenly got into a dead end, not sure if it’s safe to go through it. You turn to see his large shadow, hearing him chuckled as he pulls his two guns out – then everything froze – well, Reyes suddenly stops in front of you. You thought time have stopped, but then you saw his face contort with confusion – he suddenly flies meters up before slamming down onto the concrete, knocking him out as his guns clatter to the ground. You jumped … You slowly look up and saw a tall figure in the distance with a halo. Is that an angel? Wh-??

Siebren quickly comes into view, floating towards you with a scowl on his face – he quickly changes his expression into that of worry, picking you up and hugging you tight.

“That monster … I should have gotten you a ride over!” Siebren exclaimed, rubbing small circles on your back.

“I’m not really traumatized, he doesn’t scare me,” you assure, patting his shoulder. Siebren picks you up bridal style, nuzzling his cheek on your head before lifting himself off to Moira’s home.


	41. The Rabbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siebren takes you to Moira's home. The rabbit is alive. 
> 
> It's been 84 years fam

Moira is setting up her workstation at the lab. The bunny you gave her is still hopping around, just a bit tense from how cold everything looks. Moira picks the bunny up, placing it on a segregated space so it doesn’t run off. It looks well taken care of though, despite its timid nature. Moira noticed something interesting about the rabbit though; compared to another rabbit, this one has traits found in older breeds of rabbits. It’s not prehistoric per say; it’s more like their diet and genetic composition indicates that it’s biologically 2 years old but probably lived at a farm decades ago. It’s white and it was dirty when you got it. After fifty years, the bunnies are genetically raised to be bigger. This rabbit is a bit small but there is no sign of malnutrition. Moira wonders whether you brought this rabbit into existence or you got it from somewhere else. If so, does that mean you are taking something from a specific time and place rather than recreating it?

Moira turns when she heard the doorbell ring. She left the rabbit alone and made her way to the front door. Opening it, she found Siebren carrying you. Your hair is a mess while there is dirt on your clothes.

“… What happened?” Moira asks, looking at the two unamused.

“That little experiment of yours attacked them – found him pointing his guns at the poor thing,” Siebren explained angrily, putting you on the couch.

“Who?” Moira tilt her head, walking over to the two.

“Reyes – that man who you worked on,” Siebren specified bluntly. Reyes know who Moira is? Worked on? What’s going on?

“Oh him … Wait what?” Moira blinks a little.

“I didn’t know he has powers like I do! How did he end up getting it??” you turn to the two tall humans, furrowing your brows.

“Oh uh … It’s a long story,” Moira looks away a little.

“He let Moira experiment on him, allowing him to get those powers – but unfortunately, it brought up some side effects that might affect him later in life,” Siebren explained gravely, peering a little at Moira.

“His cells simultaneously decay and regenerate at a hyper-accelerated rate, but he can regain his physical state at will,” Moira added, also peering over at Siebren.

“I understand your willingness to go up and beyond in the name of science, but remember what happened to me when I try to jump the gun?” Siebren warned Moira, blinking nervously.

“Oh … Siebren …” you ask for him, although it sounded too low for him to hear.

“You mean the experiment over at the space station?” Moira asks. Siebren gulps, nodding quickly to her question.

“You can specify it as just me, but didn’t you do it because of the Tobelstein?”

“… Huh?”

You quickly felt the atmosphere get tense with how silent Siebren got. It feels cold, familiar, unsafe …

“Tobelstein – Aleksandria knows of them since she got a scholarship from them—”

“What? You think I did this very risky experiment out of jealousy?” Siebren stares at Moira incredulously, his brows furrowed angrily.

“Is it true?” Moira ask patiently, not caring about his glare.

“My entire career has been devoted to this idea that gravity is a harness. DECADES! You think I will rush into that situation just because of one man?!” Siebren exclaimed fiercely.

“Okay, you answered my question.”

“Why do you even say those things?!”

“Do not take it personal, Dr. De Kuiper. Besides, you are the one that made yourself an example on how we shouldn’t rush into anything. Control yourself – you are going to make a mess … Say, where is (y/n)?”

“Huh?”

Siebren quickly soften his expressions, seeing that you left from the grey couch. Worried, Siebren looked around in a rush – he’s still shaken up about what happened to you.

Moira and Siebren eventually found you in the labs, holding the bunny on your lap.

“Oh there you are, (y/n),” Moira commented coolly.

You turn slowly, with tears in your eyes and a frightened look on your face.

“Oh … What’s wrong, lieveling?” Siebren frowns, getting on his knees to be close to you.

“Don’t yell like that,” you mumbled, trying not to start gurgling.

“(y/n) … Focus on the rabbit. Do you know where you might have gotten it from?” Moira asks, probably trying to get you distracted.

“…”

“What were you thinking about when you summoned this rabbit? Is there a memory?” Moira continue to ask.

“… My … Grandma… Have …. My father’s relatives took care of farm animals. They have rabbits,” you shook your head a little, petting the rabbit slowly.

“Oh, this rabbit was your relatives?”

You stare at the rabbit. You’re too scared to look at anyone in the eyes.

“Because my hypothesis is that you take things from an existing place rather than creating it out of thin air.”

“…”

“Can you try to take my cup from my kitchen? A black mug? From this time and place?”

You try to calm down, trying to imagine a black mug --- it pops into your hand. Moira quickly leaves the lab to look for the cup in the kitchen. You hold the cup while the rabbit is on your lap.

“… I’m sorry for scaring you like that,” Siebren said in a soft yet with regret in his voice, reaching his hand out to pet your head.

“It reminded me of how my parents fought,” you managed to squeeze out before you start bawling.

“Oh no sweetie…” Siebren quickly comes over to wrap his arms around you, holding your shaking body close.

“I really didn’t mean to yell like that, I’m so sorry,” Siebren apologize, feeling so bad. Moira comes along empty-handed.

“… Grand. Anyways, looks like my hypothesis is correct – I always place my mug on this one specific location but it’s not there,” Moira explained aloofly, not affected by your crying. The bunny is sniffing you, crinkling its nose.

“They need a break, Moira. Their powers get unstable if their emotions are not,” Siebren grumbled, still holding you flush to his chest.

“Hmph.”

“I’m taking them to my home,” Siebren grumbled, picking you up while the rabbit hops off you.

“I would be more disappointed, but they impressed me with how much I saw them do for the past few days; the most fascinating is her regeneration of Jamison’s limb,” Moira shrug, picking the rabbit up.

* * *

You got a message from Mako, simply asking “are you coming soon?”

You ignore everything, just rolled into a ball in the sofa. Siebren is making hot cocoa, wanting to calm you down. He’s debating whether to tell him what happened when Reyes attacked you or wait until you are mentally prepared. He comes over to the sofa, placing the two mugs on the coffee table.

“… What happened?”

“Hmm?” Siebren turns to you, looking down with gentle blue eyes.

“Are you okay? Do you know what you are doing? Do you know where you are? What if I can’t even tell?” you mumbled, too scared to see his angry face.

“I’m … I been hurt irreversibly, yes,” Siebren answered hesitantly.

“Are you getting help? What if school stresses you out?”

“That’s kind of you, but I love my job. I did get some help, but they said I am safe enough to be around,” Siebren assured, rubbing your back.

“You sure?” you continue to look away from him, staring at the marshmallows melting on the hot cocoa.

“Trust me,” Siebren gave a small smile, still rubbing your back.

You look down, not sure whether to debate it or not. You’re so scared, so powerless …

“Uh … I have a weird question,” Siebren asks, clearing his throat a little. You look up at him nervously.

“Are … You and Rutledge together?” he asked with an anxious tone in her voice.

“… Who?”

“Mako … That’s his name, I believe …” Siebren asks, albeit shyly.

“… Oh! Yeah! Mako and I are a couple,” you beamed, remembering the one you love.

“Lucky man,” Siebren smiled softly, though his heart is sadden.

“I want to go back to the dorms … But my powers are messed up right now,” you mumbled.

“Finish your cocoa, maybe it will get back to normal unless you want me to go with you,” Siebren assured, giving you a mug.

“Okay … I need to let Mako know though – I think he texted me,” you got the mug, blowing on it.

“I’m waiting until it’s not as hot,” you informed him. Siebren nodded, taking the mug to put it back on the table. You go through your phone and saw the message he sent you. You went and reply to him.

“My anxiety got a spike”

“What’s wrong?”

You are debating whether to tell Mako what happened. You don’t want to lie to him, but you also don’t want to make him more paranoid … Fuck it, you always stand for the truth.

“Reyes found me. I pissed him off that one time and he is still mad at me, so I have to fight the man”

“What  
Where is he?”

“Siebren knocked him out – Siebren is with me”

“Oh.”

“I’m not really hurt, but yeah Siebren took me to Moira so I’m not by myself. They had an argument and it freaked me out. I don’t like it when people fight. It scares me. So now he’s trying to calm me down. I’m a bit better because he really is a good friend. I told him you and I are together.”

You look over at Siebren, who is focusing on the television while he sips his cocoa. You didn’t notice him staring at you while you are not looking.

“Do you want me to pick you up? I can go – I have my chopper”

“You got a helicopter?”

“My motorcycle”

“Oh pfff”

“You want me to come?”

“Siebren said he is going on campus anyway, thank you though!”

“Alright”

“How long?” the Dutch man asked out of the blue.

“Hm?” you look up at Siebren.

“How long were you and Mako together?” Siebren asked you.

“Since yesterday, I think?” you squint, trying to remember.

“Oh that is very recent,” Siebren raise his brows a little.

“Y-Yeah,” you nodded, finally drinking your cocoa.

* * *

Mako messaged you after taking a shower, wanting to know if you made it safe to wherever you are going. Jamison and Mei are speaking to one another at the living room, watching videos about weird experiments people do in their backyard. Mako quickly looks down on his phone, seeing your response. He breathes out a sigh, being so happy to hear from you.

“My anxiety got a spike”

“What’s wrong?”

He stares at the screen, already worried enough as is for you.

“Reyes found me. I pissed him off that one time and he is still mad at me, so I have to fight the man”

W h a t. He tries to attack you?

“What  
Where is he?”

So he can kill the man himself.

“Siebren knocked him out – Siebren is with me”

“Oh.”

Mako blanked out a little, surprised that Siebren came to the rescue.

“I’m not really hurt, but yeah Siebren took me to Moira so I’m not by myself. They had an argument and it freaked me out. I don’t like it when people fight. It scares me. So now he’s trying to calm me down. I’m a bit better because he really is a good friend. I told him you and I are together.”

Mako smiled a little. He is still angry over what happened to you, but he’s happy to know you are so willing to let the whole world know you are his.

“Do you want me to pick you up? I can go – I have my chopper”

“You got a helicopter?”

Mako had a blank face until he starts to snicker, understanding where the confusion happened.

“My motorcycle”

“Oh pfff”

“You want me to come?”

“Siebren said he is going on campus anyway, thank you though!”

“Alright”

Mako frowns, wanting to be sure he takes you home. He knew Siebren is attracted to you. He can tell with the way he holds you in his arms so possessively. He is still angry that Reyes would do something to you. What did you even do to anger him? He gets up, pacing around a little – should he listen to you and wait for you to come back?

* * *

Siebren and you watched this show by Neil DeGrasse Tyson.

“… I know you are already with Mako, but … There is a reason why he is suspicious of me,” Siebren look around, scratching the back of his head a little.

“He’s just overprotective,” you shrug.

“I see, but … He is particular about me because he can tell my true feelings,” Siebren falter a little but manage to say those words. You look up at him with those tired, big wonderful eyes.

“Hmm?” you hummed, tilting your head towards Siebren.

“I love you as well, (y/n). I really hope Mako does take good care of you,” Siebren smiled

“But I’m a fetus,” you suddenly replied.

“Huh?” Siebren blinked, not understanding what you said.

“Don’t you look at me like a baby?” you asked, feeling insecure about how inexperienced and small you are.

“You are young, but I really don’t mind,” Sigma chuckles softly, giving a kind smile.

“What do you mean you like me – O h,” you blinked quickly, getting shy. Siebren nodded slowly, looking at you.

“It’s okay … I’m going to die faster, and you’ll be by yourself,” Siebren laughs, trying to lighten things up.

“Nuuu,” you shook your head but laughing a little.

“Then again … You seem to be into older men, why?” Siebren smiled, seeing you blush wonderfully.

You thought for a long time. You don’t want to think that it’s because of daddy issues – that angers you greatly.

“… I would look at people that are my age and they would look like they are younger than me. I like men that looks like – you know, like men. People under 30 are just teenagers stuck in adult bodies,” you try to explain, growing shy.

“How old is Mako?”

“… I … Oh geez, I don’t know,” you scratch your head. You got insecure, starting to overthink about how much you don’t know about Mako.

“I think he might be in his 30s…? I’m not so sure,” Siebren shrugs with a faint smile.

“Then what about you? You are acting as if you are in your eighties,” you giggled a little.

“I’m 62.”

“What the fu… But, you have a body – you look pretty good, you taking steroids??” you squint at Siebren. You thought that he would be in his fifties at most, but 60s?

“Oh no no, my hairline is receding – I don’t look that good,” Siebren laughs, rubbing his scalp. He appreciates the compliment though.

“Yes you do! You have a body thirty years younger! You so cute toooo,!” you coo, starting to poke Siebren’s muscular arms and chest. Siebren giggles along, poking you back. He may be sad about not being your man, but he is happy that you are still his friend. He just wants to be happy with you in anyway he can be. Love isn’t about possession; it’s about appreciation.


	42. Is there a Difference Between Lust and Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It gets really nsfw on this chapter so yeh just warning yall
> 
> I been sleeping on this fanfic because I'm busy with university -- my fall semester is going good and my mental state is great! Hope you all have a good weekend

Siebren walks through the dorm hallways while you hold onto his large hand. Siebren wanted you to come over for a sleepover, especially since he is too scared to let you be out of his sight after Reyes attacked you. He hopes that Mako does protect you, remembering bits and pieces of his memories illustrating how protective he is of you. The two of you eventually reach your dorm. Siebren lets go of your hand reluctantly.

“Please be careful – I don’t know if Reyes is still walking around campus or not. He must be reported,” Siebren said worryingly. You’re not sure what to tell him. You don’t want to cause any trouble, but who knows if Reyes have hurt other people too? What if he was awful to your best friend Olivia? You just nodded, not really saying much. Siebren suddenly lowers himself to give you a hug, patting your back.

“I hope Mako takes good care of you … He looks intimidating so I do trust he will do fine,” Siebren laughs a little, earning a giggle from you while you hug him back. After letting each other go, Siebren pats your head and tell you his goodbyes. You look at his thick back going farther away from you before you phase into the door. You saw that nobody was in the living room. Jamison left with Mei to her dorm, so she doesn’t go by herself while everyone else is busy with life. You start calling for Mako, walking around looking for him. You don’t want to walk into his room without his permission in case you accidentally see his weenus or something. You kept calling until you heard something jingle. You quickly went over to the sound, which is Mako’s door. You beam when you saw him – Mako quickly comes out of his room and picks you up. He holds you close, rubbing small circles on your back.

“Are you by yourself? Where is James?” you asked softly, snuggling up to Mako. Mako has his face buried on your torso, your head almost tapping the ceiling. Mako’s only response is a grunt. Mako lowers you a little to place you on his tummy, going into his room and closing the door. Mako lets you go after he place you on his bed, but then he got up on your space again. Mako blushed a little when you quickly open yourself up to him with a small whine. He didn’t do anything crazy, just lift your arms around or feeling your ribs.

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

“Hmm?”

“You said you were assaulted.”

“Oooh … Ehh I don’t think so,” you shrug, rolling onto your side to snuggle into Mako’s bed. Mako gulps, seeing your curves through your tight jeans.

“… Are you sleeping on your clothes?” Mako asks curiously. You didn’t say anything to him, but you lift yourself up. Mako blinks rapidly when you start zipping down your pants and unbuckling it, pulling it down without a care. Then your shoes got in the way. You squirm away from the bed, Mako moving away to give you space. He is debating whether to watch you or look away, even though he’s supposed to be your boyfriend. You have black underwear and a black bra on, which you removed without pulling your shirt up. You move back up against the bed and lay on your side, closing your eyes. You are just happy with feeling Mako’s warmth emanating from his presence. Then you hear shuffling, which you didn’t mind. Mako is currently changing to something comfortable, only wearing boxers and a shirt. He slowly crawls over you, watching you trying to sleep.

He is still processing that you are his. His and his alone. He lowers his face towards your cheek with his lips pursed, but you turn your head up. You two peck at each other’s lips. You quickly open your eyes, smiling and blushing from how close Mako is. He giggled a little, lowering his head while you cover your warm face.

“That was my first kiss pff,” you revealed, being giggly and blushy.

“R…Really?” Mako raise his brows. You hummed and nodded, trying your best to hold eye contact. You look at him lovingly as you slowly squirm under him … You felt a sudden sting on your butt. Mako smacked his massive hand on your buttcheek, squeezing it gently. You whined a little, staying still with eyes closed. He pulls his hand away at some point… But then he grabs your waist and pulls you against his crotch, your butt right against his bulge. You were confused but you don’t mind what is happening. He starts to grind on you slowly, firmly pulling you in by your hips. You start to hum, staying still for him while he touches you.

“M-Mako..?”

“Hmm?” Mako looks over at you with half-lidded eyes.

“I love you.”

Mako pants, quickly scooping you up to wrap you in a tight hug from behind. He grinds a little, but his arms stay firm.

“… I Love you too,” Mako replied softly … Then he presses his lips on your neck before you felt his teeth. He bites a little before he presses his lips on your neck again, sucking gently. You start to squirm and fidget, loving his touch.

“Your skin … So .. Soft…” Mako murmur, gently caressing your thighs and torso. You whine a little, arching your back to him while he kept nibbling on your neck. Mako silently rub himself on you, loving the sounds he is squeezing out of you.

“You said you will give me head,” Mako commented suddenly. You snap your neck to the side a little, squinting. Mako lets you go though, coming over to the door to lock it close. Mako then comes over to you, laying on your side quietly.

“On your knees,” he ordered huskily. You opened your eyes in shock, not sure if you heard him right. You peer at him shyly – it’s too dark because he had his lights off. Only James’s Halloween light decorations are on.

“I said, get – DOWN.” Mako growls, grabbing you by your waist and press you onto the floor. You look around in confusion, feeling very shy. He presses his large hand on your head.

“Get down,” he growled again, placing you a bit roughly on the floor. You whined, pouting at him.

“What? You have to be a good girl for me – you’re mine,” Mako declared, his cock hardening with how submissive you are being. You are loving the treatment, but you turn your nose up with a “hmph!” to rile him up further.

“Take out my cock and start sucking it, got it?” Mako ordered, staring at you with an intimidating glare… You fight away the smile and ignore your quivering body, still facing away from him to be a brat. Mako groans, grabbing the back of your head to rub your cheek on his bulge.

“Don’t be a brat; take my fat dick out or else,” he threatens. You are tempted to say “or else what” but … Mako slowly lets your head go, letting you straighten up. You didn’t start doing that right away. Mako suddenly got worried, thinking he went too far.

“… Y-you don’t have t—”

You pull his boxers down, freeing his d … WTF. This is the first time seeing an actual penis up close. You squint at it. Mako froze, not expecting you to pull his boxers down so fast. His breath hitched when he felt your slightly warm fingers on his shaft. You hold it up, squinting at it. Would it even fit?... You pull out a ruler out of nowhere, measuring his length just out of curiosity.

“Oh my fu…” Mako covered his face, chuckling so hard.

Wh … He’s 7.2 inches. Can you even swallow that? Or even fit? You can only fit this 4-inch dildo you got from this one store because you made the mistake to make a custom-made expensive dildo too big for you, so now you lost faith on your ability to stretch yourself out enough for anything. All because you underestimate the size on this one stupid Bad Dragon dildo everyone was recommending. It’s a dumbass story.

“WHY ARE YOU JUST LOOKING AT IT WH PPFFF--!?” Mako starts to laugh harder.

“I haven’t seen a penis up close let me seeee,” you pouted, still holding it.

“Wait … You’re uh …” Mako peers down at you shyly.

“… I’m a virgin yes – you’re my first ACTUAL boyfriend,” you blushed, looking away with a glare.

Oh… Mako felt so honored, knowing that he is going to be your first everything—OOH…!

Mako looks down quickly to catch you trying to deepthroat him, checking to see how far you will get until you start gagging – you barely reach halfway when you did, pulling yourself out. Mako shivers, his cock twitching from how warm and wet your mouth is. He doesn’t want you to be too uncomfortable, but it felt so good feeling you gag on his cock. You are too stubborn to give up – you went back with more fervor, shutting your eyes as you force his shaft farther into your throat. You whined with his whole manhood in your mouth, your plump lips squeezing around him. Mako grips the bed covers, giving out shaky groans. You try to suckle as you pull yourself out, coming out with a pop. Panting, you press your lips on the tip to plant a kiss – then another, another, another …

Mako’s legs are shaking, trying not to lose his mind or be too forceful on you.

“Don’t get angry at me if I suck … Okay, no pun intended but just tell me what to do because I have no idea,” you furrow your brows, slowly stroking his shaft.

“Uh … I uhh…” Mako stutters, not sure what to tell you since he barely ever has any experience either.

“You can start face fucking me if you want to – I like it rough,” you shrug, placing your tongue dangerously close to his balls before running through his rod to his tip. You place a kiss again, opening your mouth for him once more. You let three inches in, gently going in and out – then Mako grabs your head to start thrusting into your face. You arch your back and start gagging … But you like it. Your body went limp as he pushes himself down your throat, your eyes and nose getting runny.

“Oh guu… I’m going to cum …” Mako grunted, hearing your aroused whines and gagging sounds. So good … Your soft lips feel snug, he can feel the soft flesh inside your mouth to the back of your throat. You are trying your best not to throw up – good thing is you didn’t eat anything except hot cocoa from Siebren. You couldn’t breathe either, but you don’t mind because of your asphyxiation kink. Mako’s cock twitch when he watches you pull your shirt up, exposing your soft breasts. You start to play with your nipples while he thrusts into your mouth, your eyes peering into his own with need.

“g-good girl,” Mako grumbles, pushing his cock deeper into your throat. He hears more chocking noises and whines coming from you. You felt something rise on your throat, but you try to swallow as much of his cock as you could – too bad you are not experienced with these things.

He pushed his cock all the way into your mouth, every inch, to start ejaculating straight down your throat. You squirt a little from not breathing for too long, whimpering. He slowly pulls you away from him, slipping himself out of your wonderful mouth. You gulped, breathing heavily with a runny nose and tears streaming down.

“Uh … Sorry,” Mako blushed, worried he got too far with it – but he loved how messy you look right now. He hums when he felt you putting more kisses on his cock, being so affectionate to it. He looks at your exhausted face, sitting on your knees so obediently.

“I just squirted,” you commented suddenly.

“Huh?” Mako blinks, distracted from the afterglow.

“I squirted – happens when I’m getting choked out,” you blushed, rubbing your cheek on his still-hard dick.

You are p e r f e c t. The people in your past are so stupid for overlooking you or not cherishing you enough. You are the epitome of a perfect mate.

“Did you cum?” Mako asks shakily.

“Nope – I can squirt without cumming, it’s weird,” you answer, rubbing your tears away.

“… Oh no.”

“What?”

“I ... I called you a girl. I didn’t mean to,” Mako looks down, realizing what he said.

“What you mean?” you tilt your head.

“What do I say? Baby girl? Baby boy? Babe?” Mako specify.

“… OOHhh Oh okay, I remember! I don’t mind being called babygirl or boy,” you shrug, not offended at all.

“That’s sweet of you to ask though!” you smiled happily.

“Ooh … Okay,” Mako sighed. He then picks you up from the floor with a grunt, placing you on the bed before he goes looking for a small towel. He finds a pale maroon one, coming over to gently wipe your face from all kinds of bodily fluids.

“Did it burn?” you asked softly.

“Burn?” Mako look up at you.

“I threw up a little,” you wheeze.

“Ooh … No, it felt good. You did good,” Mako smiled softly, patting your head.

“Did my teeth hurt you?” you ask some more.

“No, it didn’t hurt or anything … Sorry for making you throw up though, I’m pretty – yeah I’m not easy to take in,” Mako chuckles softly. He kept rubbing your face, stroking your soft hair.

“You’re feeling okay? Are you okay with this?” Mako asks softly, regretting not asking you directly whether you even wanted to give him a blowjob. You just nodded, not minding what he is doing to you.

“I should have asked you directly …” Mako added with regret, not wanting to make you be too tolerant of his actions.

“But I love how forceful you are! If I didn’t like it, I can get out of it or let you know,” you squeeze Mako’s cheeks, looking up at him with kindness.

“We didn’t even make up a safe word yet – Can we make one up?” Mako look back at you with sad eyes.

You two thought about it for a long time, not sure what to do.

“… Waluigi?”

“uh… Junkertown?”

“Peanut butter?”

“… Jamison?”

You two started laughing at Mako’s suggestion.

“Where is Jamison anyway?” you asked curiously.

“He went out with Mei,” Mako answered.

“Aww,” you smiled happily. Jamison and Mei are finally getting along, especially after James told you about how he felt guilty over how he treated her badly – even though Mei was the one judging him harshly for something he has no control over.

“… Just realize I lost my virginity,” you look into space with a poker face.

“No … Not yet anyways, heh,” Mako chuckled.

“But your dick was in one of my orifices,” you squint at Mako.

“Your what?”

“My mouth! That was sex!”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“O R A L S E X.”

Mako wheezes.

“I took _your_ virginity!” you declared, making Mako laugh more. You two kept playfully arguing about the legitimacy of losing your virginity through oral sex, not noticing that Jamison was gone for too long. 


	43. The Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff and stuff but it gets hella serious ripppp
> 
> Sorry for not updating. I'm currently in finals week but I will be fine! So good luck to anyone taking their tests these days

Jamison found himself being surrounded by girls, the medical students fondling his new arm and leg.

  
“This is so cool!” Brigitte beams, poking his leg. Angela peers over at him while others stand in awe, but Lena is nowhere to be found. Mei looks on with amusement, giggling to herself.

  
They eventually leave him alone when it’s time for bed. Angela had to leave somewhere during the evening, so it was just Mei and Jamison back in her room. Jamison sits on the floor next to Mei, looking up at the window to watch the bright moon. They sat quietly, barely speaking about anything. Mei peers shyly at Jamison, noticing how … Different he seems. He lets his facial hair around the chin area grow, his hair is not as wild as it used to be, there was a softer look in his eyes, and he tends to have a melancholic gaze. Even his voice grew less shrilly.

  
“You seem different,” Mei pointed out.

  
Jamison gave a small shrug, not turning to look at Mei.

  
“Are you tired of hearing that?” Mei laughs a little.

  
“Hm? Oh no, no. I just been thinking too much about things,” Jamison shook his head a little.

  
“Like what?” Mei asks, just noticing how surprisingly deep his voice is when he’s normal.

  
“I don’t remember a lot of things. I don’t remember why I really do not like shrimp or why my back hurts. I don’t remember when – did I? Did I lose my arm or my leg? I don’t remember,” he looks around, squinting and scratching his arms gently.

  
“You don’t remember blowing people up?” Mei asked, albeit hesitantly.

  
“What?” Jamison snap his head up.

  
Mei got quiet. She is not sure whether to repeat the question or it’s going to trigger something bad to happen. She honestly doesn’t remember why she hated Jamison so much, but she is probably harsh towards him for being a criminal. Yeah maybe it’s just her being self-righteous.

  
“Can you repeat?” he asked, not appearing to be offended.

  
“… No, forget it,” Mei shook her head, not wanting to remind him of anything.

  
“Sorry if I hurt you,”

  
“Huh?” Mei look up at him worryingly.

  
“Sorry.”

  
“Didn’t you already apologize?”

  
“I don’t remember,” he shrugs.

  
“You should ask Angela – she isn’t back right now though,” Mei looks behind her.

  
“About what? I don’t like doctors,” Jamison pouts.

  
“It’s not good if you have memory loss,” Mei frowns, growing concerned for him.

  
“It’s just radiation,” Jamison shrugs off, not seeing the problem.

  
“You’re saying that as if that’s normal,” Mei gave out a giggle, with a hint of disbelief.

  
“What is normal anyway? Everything is just weird now. Everything. Too posh. Too advanced. Too complicated. Too fantastic,” Jamison mumbles as he shakes his head.

  
Mei nodded slowly.

  
“… Sorry for being mean to you,” Mei apologized.

  
“I wouldn’t remember much anyway,” Jamison laughed softly. There isn’t a hint of insanity in it at all.

  
“It’s still bad though! Whether you acknowledge it or not,” Mei pouted a little.

  
Jamison shrugs happily. He lays down on the floor, yawning and closing his eyes.

  
“No no you can sleep on my bed!” Mei try to stop him, pulling his arm to get him up.

  
“I can’t let you sleep on the floor,” Jamison shook his head a little, eyes squinted shut.

  
“But you will catch a cold!” Mei pouted, pulling him up.

  
Jamison chuckles, not paying much attention to anything.

  
“I’ll stay awake with you then,” Mei stubbornly stated, sitting up next to Jamison. They both kept staring at the sky through the window in silence. Time is tiptoeing by, ever so slowly, while they blink tiredly. Mei at some point peer over at Jamison. He looks at peace with himself. It’s obvious he is tired.

  
… Mei gently place her hands on Jamison, pushing his back against the bed in a horizontal position. Mei carefully lays herself on his side. Jamison is not reacting at all to her advances. She cuddled next to him … Eventually, she felt his toned arms wrap ever so softly around her shoulders. They stay like that. They didn’t say anything to one another or wonder whether this is platonic or not. They are just at peace with one another.

* * *

You open your eyes slowly. You woke up because there was too much noise outside. You lay back down to go back to sleep, annoyed that there are people out there. You really can’t stand anyone unless you had coffee – then you quickly felt relieved when you saw Mako next to you. You cuddled up to him, feeling so happy being with him. You felt his large hand gently caress your upper back, humming lowly.

  
“I love you,” you mumbled, your eyes closed while you cuddled up to his belly.

  
… Suddenly he got up, putting his arms between you. You quickly submit to him, not trying to cover yourself or stay away from him. You’re too shy to look at his soft gaze, glancing over your face blissfully. He gave a peck on your neck. He gave more kiss then he got to nibbling your skin, his lips tickling you. You squirmed under him gently, humming happily to his affection. Then he reaches his head up, holding his hand up to tilt your face towards his. He gazes at your soft plump lips, stroking it with his thumb. Your heart beats wildly in your chest, not realizing you got your legs clinging to his side. Finally, he places his lips against yours. He starts to kiss you ever so gently while you try to follow suit. This is all new to you. You whined softly against his mouth, making his morning wood twitch.

  
“I love you more…” he mumbled, trying to kiss you longer. You hummed happily to hear that, opening yourself up more physically. He is too big for you to reach up and wrap your arms around his neck, so you just awkwardly lay there helpless as he kept kissing you. You squirm experimentally, trying to move away from him – but he grab your hips in a flash to keep you still. You twitched, loving how much power he has over you. He pulls his lips away from yours, lowering his head to start nibbling on your neck. You kept shivering to his touch.

  
“You make my dick so hard. Ever since I fell for you, it wouldn’t leave me alone…” Mako admitted, kissing your neck a bit roughly now. He squeezes out more whines from you. You feel so flattered and hot from his confession, loving how much his body reacts to you.

  
“R-really?” you asked softly.

  
“You have no idea how many times I jacked off in the shower, thinking about you … Thinking about tasting you, taking you, touching you …” he explained breathily, giving you tougher kisses all over your face and neck while having more grip on your hips. You whined excitedly, wanting him to touch you more… But there are people outside.

  
“I – I’m so – thank you. I am flattered… Is there someone outside? I kept hearing voices,” you asked shyly. Mako didn’t pay much attention until you both heard a painful sob. You two quickly sat up, growing concerned over what is happening.

* * *

  
Mei woke up suddenly. She blinked softly, getting up absentminded until she turns to see Jamison on her bed. He was cuddled right behind her, but he slept with his clothes and socks on. He looks so peaceful and … Handsome? Weird. Mei shook her head, getting her clothes and changing in the restroom. After she is done dressing up, she walks over to Jamison to wake him up. She was expecting him to make a fuss or complain but – Mei nagged at him, shaking his shoulder.

  
“Wake up sleepyhead, you have class remember?” she nagged him.

  
Jamison’s eyes open a little but … Mei suddenly have a feeling something is not right.

  
“Jamison?” she frowns a little.

  
Jamison peer at Mei half-lidded, emotionless but at peace.

  
“Jamison? Are you okay?”

  
Jamison stir ever so slowly, as if he doesn’t want the bed to squeak at all. Mei’s face sulk in worry. She got up and went out of the room to see her dormmates. Angela isn’t around to help, so Mei walk over to Brigitte since she is in the medical field. Brigitte is currently pouring coffee to go with her Danish treats, her face scrunching into a loud yawn.

  
“G-Good morning Brigitte,” Mei stutter out. Brigitte quickly turns to Mei, giving a tired but friendly greeting back. Mei got too insecure to ask her for help suddenly. She just woke up. She hesitantly turns around, getting a water bottle from the fridge to bring it to Jamison. Mei came back to the room to see Jamison sitting straight on the bed. He looks tired but confused.

“Jamison? You okay?” Mei asked softly.

  
Jamison looks up at Mei.

  
“You are not like this all the time, did something happen?” Mei kept asking, giving the water to Jamison. He slowly receives it but didn’t open it. He only felt the cold plastic against his rough palm.

  
“… James, you’re scaring me,” Mei frowns.

  
Jamison blinks slowly, still unresponsive. Mei starts to breath shallowly in panic, hastily getting up to get Brigitte. Mei and Brigitte quickly come back to the room. Brigitte’s cheeks are bulged because she was chewing something. She gave a muffled hello and a wave, not really concerned for him. He looks at her cooly while she gulps down her food.

  
“Angela wasn’t here?” Brigitte asks curiously.

  
“No, she never came back,” Mei replied, although it sounds a bit muffled.

  
“Weird,” Brigitte squints at Jamison.

  
Brigitte looks around him, trying to check if there is anything physically wrong with him.

  
“Why is he so quiet and calm?” Mei sob out, too scared for him.

  
“Maybe he just woke up – Right? You’re not really a morning person, are you?” Brigitte smiled at Jamison, but he blinked back at her unfazed. Brigitte’s smile falters a little.

  
“Jamison, you alright? Why so serious?” Brigitte kept asking, patting his shoulder.

  
Jamison beamed a little after she said the last line – but quickly relax into a quiet state, peering around slowly in confusion.

  
“He seems fine, just – quiet. Which is weird because I don’t think he is ever quiet,” Brigitte laughs a little. Mei quickly got ahold of Jamison’s arm, getting him up so she can hurry him back to his dorm.

Brigitte let them go, getting up slowly to finish her breakfast.

  
Mei tries to run to his dorm while Jamison drags along, looking at Mei curiously. Mei’s tears start to bubble into the corners of her eyes, getting so worried for him.

  
“Say something!” Mei begged him, but he kept looking at Mei quietly. Mei breaths heavily, continuing her way to the dorms. The two eventually reach to the door. Mei knocks on the door repeatedly, holding Jamison’s hand with the other. Jamison looks over at Mei, who is now shaking.

  
Zenyatta opens the door, seeing the two. He quickly notices how distress Mei is.

  
“Greetings,” Zenyatta nodded, giving them space to come in.

  
Mei knew Zenyatta works with students and is in the medical field, so she quickly comes to him after settling Jamison on the couch.

  
“What’s wrong with him? He’s been quiet and unresponsive! He’s never like this!” Mei sobs, starting to cry for real. Zenyatta floats over to Jamison. Instead of glaring up at him with disgust, he just looks at him with a peaceful stare. He looks over at him.

“Do you have any strong feelings towards me?” Zenyatta asks curiously, tilting his head.

  
Jamison blinks, not responding to him.

  
“Where is Mako?” Mei asks sadly.

  
“He’s still asleep – where was Jamison this whole time?” Zenyatta asks back.

  
“He’s been with me the whole time yesterday. Last night he was just fine but – I’m scared,” Mei continues to cry.

  
“There, there, I’m sure he is fine,” Zenyatta try to comfort Mei, patting her back.

  
“I think he lost his memories,” Mei suggested.

  
“Why so?” Zenyatta asks.

  
“He’s been acting weird last night too actually – he’s been telling me he was losing his memories, like having trouble remembering things,” Mei explained tearfully.

  
Zenyatta nodded, looking over at Jamison.

  
“Do you remember me?” Zenyatta asks, placing his hand on his shoulder.

  
Instead of reacting angrily, he just stares up at Zenyatta silently. Baptiste comes out of his room stretching and yawning, quickly noticing there is a crowd at the couch.

  
“What you people doing?” Baptiste asks tiredly – then he noticed Mei is crying. He raises his brows in surprise, quickly coming over to see what’s wrong.

  
“Oh Jamison! How you doing?” Baptiste greeted Jamison cheerfully, patting his shoulder roughly. Jamison didn’t say anything, just peer at him while tilting his head a little.

  
“Weird, he is never this quiet,” Baptiste furrow his brows. Mei burst into more tears.

  
“He’s not acting like himself – Mei stated that he’s been having severe memory problems,” Zenyatta explained to Baptiste. Baptiste got alarmed, looking over at Jamison for any head trauma and such.

  
“We can scan him … Finals are coming but – he’s never concerned with anything. Yeah this is weird,” Baptiste nodded.

  
“How long has he been getting memory problems?” Zenyatta asks Mei.

“S – I think since when we went to the club,” Mei answered, trying to remember. But she only got more in contact with Jamison after the club though, so who knows how much longer the issue was.

  
“When was that? Maybe it’s the alcohol – wait no, Lucio told me about his hangover last week...?” Baptiste thinks, trying to remember the timeline.

  
Suddenly the door to Jamison’s room opens. Mako comes out the door with you by his side, going into the living room. They noticed the crowd surrounding Jamison while Mei is crying. Confused, Mako and you reach over to them.

  
Mako looks at Jamison stoically. Jamison’s eyes peer up at the large man but didn’t say anything nor react to him.

  
“Did he ever tell you about any memory issues?” Baptiste asks Mako.

  
“… He’s been,” Mako stated sternly.

  
“Been?!” Mei furrow her brows in disbelief.

  
“He’s been forgetting stuff,” Mako nodded a little.

  
“But he still has some knowledge about his past –” Mei exclaimed.

  
“No no he’s right actually – He’s been progressively forgetting things, but what’s weird is that it’s out of nowhere,” Baptiste pointed out. Your brows furrowed, realizing what is wrong. Jamison does seem … Different. Are they going to help him?

  
“Is he going to stay like this forever?” Mei asked fearfully, staring at Jamison tearfully.

  
The people look at Jamison, who is now feeling too stuffy from the attention. He just woke up and suddenly these people are looking at him and bothering him.

  
“… Yeah probably,” Baptiste shrug, being as blunt as he usually is.

  
Mei bawls, coming over to crush Jamison in a hug. He didn’t touch her back or nothing, just look at her with interest.

  
“He’s going to be fine, please be optimistic about this,” Zenyatta tries to give comforting words, but Mei is still crying her eyes out. Mako is not sure how to react. He always complains about how annoying Jamison is but … This is weird. So weird. Why is he being this quiet and unresponsive? How are … How are you going to react? You’re probably going to react the same way as Mei does.

  
“Idiot, say something,” Mako orders, glaring down at him. Jamison looks up at Mako curiously.

  
“Now you want to be silent?” Mako squint, trying to get a reaction out of his friend.

  
“Mako, he’s GONE!” Mei yells back, surprising Mako.

  
“GONE! He’s not coming back!” Mei kept exclaiming sorrowfully, crying on Jamison’s shoulder. Mako felt a tug next to him – you came over to the group and saw Jamison.

  
You come over to his side calmly, squinting at him. He looks back at you – for the first time, you hold eye contact with him. You look at him like a baby staring back at you during church mass. Mako is a bit hesitant to tell you what’s wrong. You place your hand on his head but … You don’t think your powers can help. He felt warm.

  
“… Did he eat?” you ask softly. Mei shook her head. You’re not sure what to feed him, scratching the back of your head. Mako feels a bit relieved you don’t start crying too.

  
“What’s wrong with him?” you asked.

  
“He possibly lost his memories, he’s not being responsive,” Baptiste explained honestly. You look over at Jamison, frowning.

  
“Did he say anything?”

  
“No,” Mei shook his head.

  
You look up at Mako, who is glancing at you concerningly for any reaction.

  
“… I think he’s been strong for too long,” you commented suddenly, patting Jamison’s shoulder. Zenyatta nodded slowly, understanding what you mean.

  
“I don’t know what to do,” Mei muffled out.

  
“Do you know how to speak English, or you just want people to leave you alone?” you ask Jamison. He didn’t respond back. You try to read his body language or – mind read? You’re not sure if you have that power. You got up and try to pull out a breakfast sandwich for him.

  
“Just leave him alone, he feels stuffy,” you commented, pulling orange juice next. The three guys stood away.

  
“I – just let me know if anything else happen, do you get my number?” Baptiste suggested. You quickly exchange numbers with him while Zenyatta looks over at you.

  
“Aren’t you sad?” Mako asks softly, still scared of you reacting negatively.

  
“He’ll be fine. I feel it in my heart,” you assured softly, patting Jamison’s back.


	44. Exposed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of Jamison losing his memories. Also you see Jack Morrison again. 
> 
> I been hella dead lately but I already figured out the ending and stuff for this fanfic. It's going to be around chapter 50, so basically 5 chapters left and then a new fanfiction that is focused on Sigma instead of Roadhog. It's basically an AU of this story but ehh yeah I'm excited and I already wrote the basic plot and stuff. Happy Holidays and thank you for reading this.

Emotions are catching up to you suddenly – you have this habit of trying to be cool after something serious happens only to crumble into pieces eventually. You are currently sitting with Mako, Jamison, and Mei on the couch while Baptiste talk to Lucio and Zenyatta about the situation.

  
“He can sleep in my room. I can watch over him and stuff,” Lucio suggested.

  
“Does y/n mind?” Lucio asks. He’s not against the idea though since he is also a medical student.

  
“I can ask,” Baptiste shrug.

  
The group over at the couch is watching those crime and supernatural documentary videos they always liked to watch -- the one where they found out about your story. You feel awful. James doesn’t know you anymore. It’s almost like losing someone to death. The one friend that really cared for you and brought you into this world is gone suddenly. Jamison didn’t understand what’s wrong. He still wouldn’t say a word. Mei’s eyes are red from crying too much – she already wasted most of her energy.

  
Mako quickly noticed you breathing shallowly. He peers over at you – the realization is hitting you. You paled, realizing how tragic this is. You did lose a friend. That friend is never coming back. The maniac with the messy hair and wild smile is gone. The man that came out on top after living through so much is gone. The loud shrilly voice of his will not be heard again. You realize what happened and how irreversible this is.

  
… You just start bawling like a child. This shocks Mako because of how sudden it is. You quickly ran over to Jamison and start holding onto him. Jamison didn’t flinch. He only looks over at you calmly. Mei understood exactly what happened, so she quickly pats your back and try to comfort you.

  
“You’re not alone, y/n … *sniff* I get it, I get it …” Mei frowns, tempted to start crying too. Mako try to calm you down, trying to touch your back or give you a pat on the head. Lucio came over meanwhile because he decided to ask himself – only to realize you are not okay.

  
“Uh… y/n?” Lucio asks hesitantly. He feels back asking at such a bad time.

  
Mei lets you know Lucio is asking for you. You blinked and turn to Lucio, still holding onto Jamison.

  
“Can he sleep in my room? He’ll be safer there and I can watch over him,” Lucio asks, smiling sadly.

  
You nodded quickly, not minding at all.

  
“W-Wait … *sniff* what about your concert?” you asked suddenly.

  
“Hmm?”

  
“Today’s concert with Hana – it’s today, right?” you rubbed your eyes and control your voice, stressing out with the thought of having to keep your cool for the whole night while doing your job – but a job is a job.

  
“Oooh the shows I do! Finals is coming up, so we decided it’s a good idea to do the collab at the end of finals week as a celebration instead. We hope that more students will come to the concert. Also, so we have more time studying,” Lucio explained with a happier smile.

  
“O – Oh, so you don’t need my help today?” you asked calmly. You try to keep your mind off your thoughts.

  
“Nah you good! You probably need some studying too,” Lucio shrug.

  
“Okei, thank you,” you nodded.

  
“I’m sure he will be fine – maybe it’s temporary but who knows until we investigate,” Lucio try to be optimistic.

  
“It’s just that – he helped me. It’s like they died or something when they suddenly forget who you are and what they are, it’s awful. He didn’t deserve this,” you shook your head in frustration. You also can’t really speak right now with how jumbled up your mind is. Mei nodded in agreement.

  
“I understand,” Lucio’s smile grew solemn.

  
“It took me this long to react because I’m trying not to freak out and add more problems – sorry…” you explained. Mako understood, continuing to rub your back.

“Where will you sleep?” Lucio asks curiously.

“With Mako,” you replied. Despite how sad the situation is, Mako couldn’t help but blush at the statement.

  
Lucio nodded, not seeing a problem with that since you been taken cared of by both Mako and Jamison.

  
“Oh yeah we have class today! But if you are too stressed out, you can stay home,” Lucio assures.

  
You shook your head, rubbing out the last of your tears.

  
“N …. No. I’m good. I already missed too many classes,” you replied.

  
“You sure?”

  
You nodded.

  
“I’ll sent Jamison’s professors emails to let them know about the situation,” Baptiste stated.

  
“Yeah go ahead,” you nod some more.

  
“I can watch over Jamison,” Zenyatta nodded.

  
“What about your appointments?” you asked.

  
“I don’t have any booked today except for yours, it’s alright,” Zenyatta assures. Mako is worried about that suggestion because of how strong Jamison’s hate for omnic are. Worst case scenario is that the old Jamison – Junkrat – will come back and actually hurt Zenyatta. He might as well stay with no memories if that is going to be the case.

  
“I can cancel it, it’s fine,” you shrug. Mako quickly looks at you. He doesn’t think it’s a good idea – it was not too long ago you try to kill yourself.

  
“You sure?” Zenyatta tilts his head.

  
“He needs you more than I do,” you nodded, not at all seeing it as a problem.

  
“Yeahhh I’ll be around too – what about you, Lucio?” Baptiste turns to Lucio.

  
“I have production class and I’m good,” Lucio gave a thumbs up.

  
Mako gave a small sigh of relief – but it still worries him. He really doesn’t want Jamison to revert to Junkrat. That means all that time recovering is thrown into the garbage.

* * *

You and Lucio went to class together. You managed to clean up and try not to be too emotional, despite how bad you usually are doing so. You didn’t let anyone know, not even Olivia, about what happened. You didn’t want to start crying or putting people’s moods down, so you just pretended everything is fine while you help out with the postproduction group. Lucio didn’t mention anything either.

  
Suddenly the door opens – Someone in a uniform comes in the classroom while everyone is too busy trying to edit. You look and recognize her as Fareeha. She asked the professor what she is there for.

  
“(y/n)?”

  
You look up.

  
“She wants you to come with her,” Professor Glitchbot notified you.

  
The class is confused about why someone with authority is picking you up. Did something happen? Are you in trouble? Lucio grew worried because he knows how stressed out you already are, but you quickly come over to Fareeha’s side and walk out the class with her.

  
You followed Fareeha across campus. You are nervous but you try to remember that Jack Morrison knows about your situation and it’s probably something to do with that. Or maybe …

“Is it about Jamison?” you suddenly asked Fareeha, looking up at her.

  
“Who?” she turns to you.

“Jamison.”

“They didn’t tell me.”

“Oh.”

  
You look back down.

  
“I just saw him yesterday evening though, what about him? Oh how he got his limbs – is it true it was you?” Fareeha continues the conversation, albeit excitedly.

  
“Y – yes. It me,” you confirm hesitantly.

  
“Whoa how?” Fareeha smile a little.

  
“I don’t know..? Magic? Science? I just did it,” you frown at the floor, not sure what to say. You were about to say that Jamison isn’t feeling well, but you don’t feel like talking about it.

  
“Oh, here we are,” Fareeha notify you.

  
You two went to a secretary to let them know what’s going on. Then she led you to a large door. You two waited awkwardly until it opens. The door opens to a large office. To your surprise, you saw Jack Morrison and Siebren in the room. Siebren beams the moment he saw you.

  
“Oh Siebren!” you called out to him, making him crack a smile. He got close to you with open arms – you quickly come over to hug him, letting him squeeze you. After letting go, Fareeha close the office door. After he reluctantly lets you go, you turn to Jack.

  
“Nice to see you again, (y/n),” Jack smiled kindly, giving you his hand for you to shake. You nodded, shaking his hand as decently as you can.  
“What’s going on? Am I in trouble?” you asked as calmly as you can.

  
“Oh no no, that’s not why you are here – you can sit there,” Jack offer the chair in front of his large desk. You sat there while Siebren awkwardly stood nearby.  
“Tell me what happened that night,” Jack asks in a serious tone.

  
You tilt your head, not sure what he is referring to.

  
“Did Reyes attack you?”

  
“Reyes? Who?” you asked hesitantly. You are really bad at remembering names. Sometimes you forget the names of the people that lives in your dorm if you don’t pay much attention for a long time.

  
“You’re not in trouble – the reason why you are here is because Dr. Kuiper have discussed with me about an incident that happened between you and Reyes. Incident isn’t really a good word for it – he basically assaulted you, did he?” Jack explained gravely.

  
… You’re debating whether to talk about it. It’s – are you afraid of Reyes? You are too emotionally exhausted to talk about what happened. You don’t feel like going through another violent realization. You don’t want to think about how powerful he is and how easily he can hurt you or your friends. Your friends …

  
“y/n?”

  
You didn’t look up quickly. Siebren got close to you, patting your back to comfort you.

  
“What did he do to you? He must be reported if he really did do something to you, especially when you are a student. This is not only unacceptable, but something that must be taken very seriously by not just the campus but the authorities,” Jack sternly stated.

  
“…Sir, what can you do to stop him? He isn’t human anymore,” you replied coldly.

“He isn’t human? What do you mean?” Jack frowns.

  
“Basically I’m screwed! He has superpowers like me and Siebren. In fact, he is the only guy that can overpower me if I were to use my abilities against him,” you explained pessimistically, crossing your arms. You might get blasted sooner or later with his big ass guns. Mako is going to be so pissed if that happens.

  
“No no don’t worry,” Siebren tries to comfort.

  
“I’m not really scared of him for some reason, but he can catch up to me,” you added. You don’t want them to worry or pity you. You honestly gotten bolder the past few weeks, probably because you got more freedom.

  
“So he did attack you?” Jack asks.

  
“Yeah,” you shrug.

  
“When? Tell me what he did,” Jack asks further.

  
“… Was it yesterday? Wait, no … But it was when I was going to visit Moira,” you turn to Siebren for answers.

  
“It was yesterday, yes,” Siebren nodded.

  
“Oh …” you look down, furrowing your brows. Time has been feeling slow lately, making you feel like you visited Siebren days ago rather than yesterday. You didn’t notice Jack squinting at you – he got off his desk and went around to you.

  
“… May I?” Jack hesitantly reach his hands out.

  
You tilt your head.

  
“I see marks on your neck,” he pointed out.

  
On your neck? Was it Mako that did – you blushed trying to remember …? No? Mako didn’t choke you, at least not with his hand… Oh. Yeah Reyes actually strangled you for a bit.  
“Are you serious?” Siebren got alarmed, getting up and went over to look at you. You sat there awkwardly while you let Jack gently hold your jaw with both hands, looking over you.

  
“You see those bruises there on the side?”

  
“Oh dear…”

  
“Yeah, those are signs of choking. Did he choke you?” Jack asked, still peering at the bruises on your neck.

  
“… I don’t want yall to freak out,” your eyes droop. You really don’t have the energy to deal with this.

  
“But this is serious, what if he ends up hurting other people?” Jack frowns.

  
“… Yeah he … He ran after me and knock me over. He tries to suffocate me and threatened to use his guns on me. That’s it,” you shrug, trying not to sound traumatized.

  
“Guns?!” Jack exclaimed, making you flinch.

  
“Yes, he had two guns when I found him cornering them,” Siebren nodded.

  
“What did you do to stop him?” Jack looks up at Siebren.

  
“I … I have to use my powers on him, sir,” Siebren confessed. Jack rubs his face with both hands. He’s more confused at to why you are being calm about this when this is such a traumatizing experience for people – you basically almost died!

  
“Reyes has powers too because – “ you suddenly stop. You whip around in fear towards Siebren. He looks back at you worryingly, not sure why you suddenly stop what you are saying. You don’t want Moira in trouble because of this.

  
“He has powers because of what?” Jack asks. You got too quiet, hesitant to explain about his powers or avoid getting Moira involved.

  
“You see, his cells simultaneously decay and regenerate at a hyper-accelerated rate,” Siebren stated.

  
“What do you mean?”

  
“He can teleport and become invulnerable, sir,” Siebren added.

“How?!” Jack furrow his brown in frustration, not believing his ears.

  
Siebren was going to answer him to mention Moira until you cut in.

  
“It doesn’t matter! The thing is what can you do? What can other people do? That guy is op. If he can catch me when I’m so difficult to catch up to, then how can people with zero abilities stop him?” you explained frantically, not noticing how nervous your voice sounds. You don’t feel like dealing with this. You are _tired_. You just want to sleep and take a break. You don’t want to deal with anything. You don’t want to be responsible for anything, as selfish as it is.

  
Siebren and Jack look at you worryingly. They are older men; they can notice small details.

  
“y/n, we must know about this situation. We will figure out a way to stop him, I promise,” Jack explained. You sat there in a slouch, not wanting to talk about anything anymore. You just want to go back home. Go back to Mako’s room where you feel safe. You just want to rest. Please …

  
“They are too stressed out, we already explained what happened,” Siebren look over at Jack worryingly.

  
“We’ll take care of it, thank you for bringing this to my attention,” Jack nodded. You gave out a huge sigh …

* * *

Siebren walks you over to Mako’s dorm, still worried for you.

  
“… I didn’t say anything because I don’t want Moira in trouble,” you confessed.

  
“How so?” Siebren glance down to you.

  
“She’s the reason why Reyes got those powers,” you pointed out.

“Oh … I mean, I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation,” Siebren frowns a little.

You got quiet.

“… Y- you see, he might hurt other people too.” Siebren warned you, looking up towards the halls worryingly.


	45. The Murderer and the Whore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You end up confessing alot of deep stuff to Mako while he admits some things too. There are subtle self-hate
> 
> Forgot to add that I was having a difficult time in my personal life because 2019 was a shitty year. I'm recovering well nowadays but ughhh

“This week is garbage.”

  
“How so?”

  
You are having lunch with Jamison, feeding him broccoli and chicken tenders with fries. Zenyatta is still in the dorms, so you got the time to speak to him. You didn’t have the heart to tell him you attempted suicide. You start to think that you might have overreacted, but you always think it’s an overreaction. Well … Your family thinks it’s always an act.  
“It’s weird though? Because it started out good until I got into arguments with people then someone try to attack me – it’s been crazy lately. And now you saw that my friend got amnesia out of nowhere. So much is happening suddenly, and I feel bad for not – reacting on time? Or have any energy to do the right thing? I should react the same way Mei did, but I didn’t,” you explained. You didn’t know what to do in those kinds of situations. People got angry at you for either joking around or not feeling anything. It’s not that you are sociopathic in nature – it’s more like you really don’t like feeling tense atmospheres, so you try to light things up as quickly as possible to stop feeling bad.

  
“Crying isn’t going to fix anything,” your mother always said. It annoys you when being told that, but it rings true in any situation. Panicking and crying isn’t going to fix anything. What can you do? You mostly just joke away your pain or the awkwardness of tense situations, but that pissed off people. Maybe your powers can do something but it’s not even that advanced and you’re not sure if you really are that op. You’re a bit too worried about messing with his mental health too because the brain is way more complicated than the rest of the body. Any messing around is enough to ruin everything.  
“Sometimes it’s best to stay calm. You are not a bad person just because … I’m sure Jamison will come back to normal sooner or later, but he still needs to be watched over. He must get treatment. I assure you he is getting the help he needs, my friend,” Zenyatta comforts you.

  
You shrug.

  
“You reported the incident?”

  
“What Reyes did? Siebren reported it first,” you answered him.

  
“Ah,” Zenyatta nodded slowly.

  
You two turn when the sound of a door opening is heard. It’s just Mako coming back from Winston’s class. He comes over slowly, spotting you immediately.

  
“… How is he holding up?” Mako asked calmly.

  
“He’s still unresponsive, but he is eating his food,” Zenyatta nodded. You were feeding Jamison like he is your kid, doing the dumb airplane thing.

  
“What’s even up with him?” Mako asks some more.

  
“They are planning to do a scan on him to check his brain activity and such, but it might be scheduled next week,” Zenyatta replied.

  
You fed the last broccoli to Jamison. He didn’t hate none of the food, he just ate. You gave him a water bottle, about to show him how to drink it until Mako nudge your shoulder. You look up at Mako – you noticed his expression shifted to something not describable.

  
Mako suddenly hold your jaw up, but his eyes are glued to your neck.

  
… Oh no. He noticed your bruises. You saw as his face grew upset, his brows furrowed slowly as he kept staring at you.

  
“… What’s wrong?” you asked, frowning up at him. Zenyatta did notice the bruises but you answered his question already about where it was from. Mako didn’t notice it until now because either it was hidden by dark lighting or your hair. He’s mad at himself for not noticing something is wrong, feeling even guiltier for – doing whatever you two did last night. He should have been gentle with you or something – who hurt you? Was it him? Was it -- …..

  
“… Come with me,” Mako said gravely.

  
You got scared, misreading his behavior as anger… You got up slowly, leaving the water bottle for James. You went inside Mako’s room, watching him close the door. Mako quickly noticed how nervous you are being. He turns on the lights, coming closer to you again to look at your neck. He held your jaw up gently, glaring at the marks.

  
“Was it Reyes?” Mako asks in a serious tone.

  
… You nodded.

  
“It’s already reported. Siebren told Jack Morrison what happened,” you said, trying not to sound scared.

  
That still doesn’t calm him down. He’s furious. How dare someone put a mark on his mate? What piece of shit hurt you like this?

  
“Tell me what happen,” Mako asks.

  
“Again??” you groan.

  
“What did he do.” Mako asks again, sternly.

  
“He… I’m tired. I already told this story to the higher ups, don’t do anything dumb,” you try to pull his hands away from you. You are starting to get irritated about all this.

  
“What. Did. He. Do.” He aggressively asks, demanding the answers basically.

  
“He attacked me! I pissed him off last Monday so he tries to kill me—”

  
“W H A T?”

  
“BEAT --! MY Meat not nece… Huh? How? He just beat – he – he’s just pissed at me … he….” You peer around, not sure what to say. You are getting so terrified at how angry Mako is getting. You are so hesitant to talk about anyone hurting you, even if it’s really – bad? Meanwhile Mako is getting angrier and guiltier. He should have taken the situation seriously yesterday, but no, he has to be a horny dumb fuck and use you as a cocksleeve instead of checking up on you. You have no idea this is going through his head. You don’t deserve this. This is horrible … He’s going to kill that piece of shit.

  
Mako suddenly turns and opens the door aggressively, stomping out the dorm. You are so terrified, feeling tears well up in your eyes. This week has been so shitty. You ran off to go after him. You spot him going down the stairs, but he heard you calling his name.

  
“Mako where you going? Did I do something wrong?” you exclaimed, running down the stairs to get to him. You follow him until you both are outside. It’s dark and cold out.

  
“I FEEL LIKE SHIT,” he snapped suddenly.

  
You stopped dead in your track.

  
“I should have checked up on you and take it seriously, but no! I have to make you do gross things for me instead of fucking taking care of you. You don’t deserve this shit. I’m a piece of shit for not caring for you. I’m a literal pig for doing this shit,” Mako angrily explained, hating himself too much.

  
Your eyes widen, having no idea he’s been feeling that way.

  
“You’re – oh …” you avoid his gaze, blinking out tears.

  
“I should be taking care of you, not treat you like an object and I fucking hate myself—

  
“Mako no!” you sobbed, coming over to hug him.

  
“No no no …” you mumbled solemnly, squeezing his shaky body in.

  
“You deserve better, y/n, this is so selfish of me—”

  
“Mako.”

  
He looks up at you.

  
“This is going to mess you up but … Other people have used me nothing more but as an object. I don’t want to be specific but let me tell you; you are not like them. The fact that you even reacting like this tells me that it wasn’t your intention at all. You didn’t do anything wrong,” you look around nervously, but tries to be supportive.

  
“What do you mean?” Mako softly asks.

  
“… I have this bad habit of losing myself. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. I want people to love me or give me affection, whether it’s genuine or not. So when Claudius started giving me attention, I give in. I lost my faith, my values, my personality, just to appease him. To make people like me, I lose myself. It was all online but it doesn’t make a difference. It gets worse. A guy comes along, giving me so much attention. I was told not to waste his time and want to meet me as soon as possible. I didn’t want to anger him or disappoint him … He, uh, he took my virginity. All because I didn’t want to anger him. I try to be dedicated to the wrong people. I let them destroy my morality and my spirit. I almost killed myself because I couldn’t bear the pain I brought to my mother and having to hide this from my dad. I can’t live with how fucking stupid I am for allowing it to happen. I could have waited for you. I could have, I could have, I could have --- It haunts me everyday and I was told by my mother to keep this a secret because …. She said if I were to ever tell this secret to my own husband, you will think I’m a whore,” you sob out the last part. You start bawling out, Mako quickly hugging you.

  
“—And you will end up betraying me. I’m such a stupid bitch, I should have waited for you…” you mumbled.

  
“Don’t say that about yourself, no,” Mako shook his head.

  
“Mako I should have waited! I LIED TO YOU! I should have fucking waited but NO! I have to be so fucking stupid and easily manipulated. I lost my friends because people trying to isolate them purposefully made people turn against them, and I fell for it. This man killed the last of my innocence because I allowed him to. How can I fucking protect YOU?! How can I protect my own fucking friends like Jamison when I can’t fucking protect myself?! I’m HORRIBLE!! I’M the one that is guilty, NOT YOU!” You slam your fist at yourself.

  
“I’m a shitty friend and a shitty daughter, okay?!”

  
Mako tightens his grip on you, cradling you while you cry in his arms.

  
“You’re not a whore, don’t ever call yourself that,” Mako tearfully said.

  
“I should have waited … I should have waited ….” You mumbled out some more.

  
“I’m not betraying you just because of your past. It doesn’t matter – do you have any idea what I did in my past?” Mako asked, preparing to confess somethings he was too scared to tell you.

  
You look up a little.

  
“… I killed people. I’m not kidding. I murdered, I stole, I terrorized other people … I’m no better. The worst part is I remember most of it. Jamison doesn’t remember anymore, but I do. I was cheerful about it too because I’m also a maniac. So why should I judge you on your past when mine doesn’t look at all better?” Mako asks gravely.

  
He’s expecting you to run away or something … But you kept clinging to him.

  
“I don’t care if you lost your virginity to someone. It doesn’t even matter at this point, it’s 2076 for fuck sakes – there are ten million definitions to what that dumb word means,” Mako rubs your back gently.

  
You start to calm down.

  
“Remember when you said I took your virginity just with a blowjob but how I said that don’t count? See how absurd it is and how the concept of it falls apart? What does it even mean? How does that make you any less of a person just because you had experienced something? Unpleasant experiences? It’s not fair for you or anyone,” Mako continues to explain.

  
“What about rape victims? So they are less worthy of love and support just because they lost it? You see how cruel that whole concept is if you think about it? What does it matter? All it does is more harm than good… I’m happy that you are in my life. Why should that change with that information? Why throw all the time we spent together in the garbage? I love you, and that is all that matter,” Mako finished, feeling you breathe out heavily.

  
“… I love you too,” you gurgled out.

  
Mako pulls himself away a little to look at you, still holding you. You finally look at his sad, tired eyes without hesitation.

  
“Aren’t you scared of me?” he asked softly.

  
“… Not anymore,” you firmly stated.

  
Mako blinked rapidly – he just confessed to you something dark and the complete opposite happens. Instead of being afraid of him, you just shrug it off.

  
“Why? I just told you I’m a murderer,” Mako asked nervously, even though he tries to hide it. You shrug it off. You would see it as a red flag except – you don’t. It’s war. People will kill and do stupid shit during war, whether they are some citizen stuck in the crossfire or a soldier. Mako has been nothing but nice to you.

  
“… I love you,” Mako smiled a little.

  
“I love you too, Mako,” you nodded.

  
Mako chuckled when you stretch your neck up, puckering a little. Mako lowers himself enough to give you a gentle kiss on your lips.

  
“Thank you for being in my life,” Mako peer over you with affection.

  
“Thank you for being so kind to me,” you smiled back, blushing.

  
“… Can we go on a date? It’s Friday,” Mako suggested out of the blue.

  
You nodded and hop happily, making Mako giggle. He forgot most of his problems suddenly, all thanks to you. He’s still going to beat the shit out of Reyes for hurting his baby, though. But he will pamper you for now.


	46. Dumplings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Mako go to a Chinese restaurant for a date.

The city is mostly decorated with Christmas decorations. You love it so much. You sat on the sidecar of Mako’s motorcycle, seeing the skyscrapers, side bars, neon lights, and the mannequins in front of shops. You are wearing headphones, so the loud motorcycle noises don’t freak you out. You two reached to a parking garage, reaching to the third floor. He parks his chopper there. You quickly hop out to go to Mako’s side, pulling him off his seat. You two giggled as he struggles to stand. You continue to hold his large hand with your soft small one. He grasps your palm gently with his thick fingers.

  
While walking out of the parking lot, he remembers he haven’t eaten yet. He turns to you, who is too focused at the lights.

  
“Have you eaten?” Mako asks. He thought you weren’t paying attention until he saw you turn to him quickly, shaking your head no. You were busy worrying and taking care of Jamison.

  
“What would you like to eat?” Mako asks. You didn’t answer right away. You look straight away quietly. When Mako repeated his question, thinking you didn’t understand, you mumbled out something.

  
“Huh?” Mako leans towards you to hear you better.

  
“Dumbing,” you mumbled.

  
“Dumbell?” Mako squints, a bit confused.

  
“Dumpling.”

  
“Ooh… You want Chinese food?” Mako specifies for an answer.

  
You nodded.

  
“Are you saying that because you know I like Chinese food?” Mako grins a little.

  
“I didn’t know that,” you shrug, happy to know this information.

  
“You saw me eat Chinese takeout all the time, you didn’t notice?” Mako asks curiously. You just shrug. You just thought he likes any food so long as it is tasty.

  
“So you want Chinese food?” Mako asks again, just to make sure. He wants to make you happy, even though he is hungry too.

  
“Yeah. I want dumplings. I’m craving dumplings. The cute round ones,” you assured, illustrating what dumpling you are talking about by cupping your hands and pouting at it. Mako nodded, straightening himself up.

  
“I know a good place. It’s where I always get Chinese food for lunch,” Mako suggested.

  
“Do they have chow mein?” you asks softly. He hums a yes to your question.

  
You two stay quiet. Mako was debating whether to ask what your favorite food is, kind of worried you are only focused on his happiness instead of your own. It’s just food, sure, but he noticed how you would put others before yourself constantly. You are a good person, but you must be selfish occasionally. Then again, it’s not even selfish to have time to yourself. You deserve to make choices for yourself.

  
_I lost my religion, my values, my personality, just to appease people._

  
“… What is your favorite food?” Mako asks.

  
You shrug. Again. He quickly notices you been quiet.

  
“You been really quiet, are you okay?” Mako asks worryingly. You are introverted, but he feels like you are withholding yourself from speaking your mind.

  
_I didn’t want to anger him._

  
He saw you side eye him, your pupils shrunk. Mako couldn’t help but still be heartbroken over what you confessed to him. Your words and weaknesses stuck to him. He really wants you to be yourself and have a choice. This is all dramatic, but it genuinely makes him angry that people made you like this. They made you be so scared to express yourself, thinking people will stop liking you when they find out how “annoying” or “useless” you are.

  
“You said you don’t like talkers,” you suddenly answer him, blinking while looking back at the windows of shops and restaurants.

  
“Oh … That was, well, that was towards gossipers – actually that was towards Jamison because he be saying some stupid shit,” Mako explains with no problem, looking annoyed at remembering Jamison’s hyper-active self. The last bit earned a giggle from you, Mako eventually chuckling along. You two grew quiet again, remembering Jamison back home. You two are still in denial about the situation. Is Jamison really gone? Will his personality forever be changed? Just like that? Mako is so confused and … Shocked with how sudden it was. He quickly snaps out of it, not wanting you to get sad about it since he took you out to cheer you up.

  
“Uhh… what is your favorite fo—”

  
“How old are you?”

  
Mako and you blinked at one another.

  
“… Repeat the question?” Mako asks.

  
“Are you in your thirties?” you ask, albeit hesitantly. Mako blinks. He looks that young to you? But what about his weight? His voice? His scars? Flaws? Hhuh?

  
“I’m … Geez, I think I’m close to be 50,” Mako furrow his brows. He realizes how … Weird this is. You are 20 while he is 50. That is a huge age gap. He looks at you quickly with a nervous gaze, not sure if you are going to be disgusted.

  
… Your face is red. You are no longer looking up at him, but you did peep out a “Okei”.

  
“… Are you disgusted?” Mako asks worryingly.

  
“No I’m just – I’m insecure about my age. Because you might not like me anymore when you see how immature I am. I barely became an adult, but really I’m … Nevermind, it’s stupid and i—it’s dumb,” you shut yourself down, feeling embarrassed opening yourself up about it.

  
“No no, keep talking,” Mako reach his hand up to hold your shoulders.

  
“… I’m just a dumbass kid stuck in an adult body. Most of my memories are either meaningless or unpleasant. You have lived longer than me and you have more experience than me,” you continue.

Biggest problem is you are scared of Mako “getting to know you” and realizing you are not important.

  
“What do you mean experience?” Mako asks, gulping. He’s not sure if you meant it like … Like sexually or in general.

  
“You are smarter than me and you have more memories. I don’t. 89% of my memories are from when I was a kid. I don’t have any other memories as an adult because it’s been boring and unpleasant,” you explain, although you feel embarrassed. Well, you always think anything you do is embarrassing. Mako reach his hand up to pinch your cheek a little, earning a squeak from you.

  
“You need to stop calling yourself a dumbass,” Mako let’s go of your cheek.

  
“I call everyone a dumbass,” you mumbled.

  
“Just – be nice to yourself. You are not stupid,” Mako frowns a little, holding you close.

  
“I’m not as smart as you think. In fact, ever since you came to my life, a lot inside me changed,” Mako starts to open up. You look up shyly.

  
“I was … Ignorant. A lot of older folks are ignorant, no matter how old they are. I sure was. But you teach me to talk more, to open more, to care more, to trust more … I just hope I can make you happy like how you – yeah. Like how you helped me grow as a person. Ja—Uh … My classmates would tell you the same thing. Seriously, I was lonesome and had no friends because of my attitude,” Mako mumbled on about how you were a positive force in his life. You are surprised. You always thought of yourself as a burden, not … This? This is new. You want to say something. You want to say something meaningful back --

  
“Let me suck your dick.”

  
“What?” Mako stuttered a little, quickly looking at you.

  
“Let me hug you please,” you said, cringing at yourself for messing up this moment.

  
“I MEAN – All I did is exist,” you shrug. You are not sure how to express your gratitude or what to say back to him. Mako picks you up gently to squeeze you in a hug. It feels nice feeling his firm chest and soft tummy against you. You wrap your arm a little to pat his shoulders. Suddenly he pecks you on your lips. You froze … Then you quickly press your cheek on his forehead, containing your shyness. Mako wheeze in laughter, loving how adorable your reactions are. You managed to get enough courage to kiss his forehead and nose, Mako’s smile growing wider.

  
“I’m not sure what to say – Just thank you for being patient with me,” you replied timidly, hugging Mako back.

  
“Thank you for loving me,” Mako said, sounding so genuine.

  
“I’ll cook you a salmon dinner,” you commented, still having no idea what to say. You want to say a lot of stuff to him, stuff you are too shy to say thinking you will scare him away if he is one of those fucks that is afraid of commitment. Stuff like “I want to be your wife”, “I’m willing to sacrifice for you”, “I am happy to be by your side” …

  
Mako noticed that they are only a few minutes away from the restaurant. He carefully lowers you back to the sidewalk, holding your hand again. It’s not cold this time.

  
… You breath in… Debating what random thing to say.

  
“I’ll give you kids,” you said.

  
“Hmm?” Mako turns to you.

  
“… Uh … I’m stuck. To you. I. I can’t English right now, wh …” you furrow your brows and squint. This happens sometimes.

  
“You’re stuck?” Mako peers at you, checking if something is caught on his bracelet or belt or something incase that is what you are referring to.

  
“I’m … I love you with all my heart and soul. I will grow stronger and happier for you,” you suddenly admitted, staring straight into Mako’s hazel eyes. Mako blushed softly.

  
“I love you more,” Mako smiled softly.

  
Your walking got more animated, your arms swinging and your eyes drooping less. You look at the street signs and lights with glee while Mako quickly notice where the Chinese place is – it’s a few meters away.

  
“I keep asking you what your favorite food is,” Mako laughs a little.

  
“I don’t know – I like Italian food but that is too broad. I usually answer the question quickly by stating I like pizza. I remembered how much I loved pizza to the point of getting excited when I hear a doorbell as a toddler. It’s been a comforting thing since then, but … I don’t know. There are many good foods out there, like onion rings or milkshakes or grilled salmon …” you drone on as a respond to such a simple question, but Mako is happy to see your personality coming out. He even saw a glimpse of your childhood with the doorbell bit. It made him smile.

  
“We can go to a pizza place instead,” Mako suggested.

  
“I already ate pizza – I think. Yesterday,” you said.

  
“What’s wrong with eating pizza two days in a row? I did that numerous times,” Mako chuckles.

  
“Ehh nothing is wrong with it, but I don’t want to get tired of it. Also, I’m craving dumplings. I want dumplings,” you assure him.

  
“What kind of dumplings?” Mako asks, now only one meter away from the restaurant.

  
“The ones you get,” you pointed out.

  
“Xiao Long Bao dumplings?” Mako specifies.

  
“The round soft looking ones,” you did the cupping thing with your hands. Mako nodded, understanding what you are referring to.

  
“We’re here,” Mako points at the restaurant. You tighten your grip on his hand, squeezing yourself on his side. It’s a bit warmer inside, but it’s not uncomfortably hot. You two just sat at a table and wait for the waiter to give you two the menus. He eventually comes along. He’s an omnic. You look up at the waiter because his featureless face doesn’t make you nervous. Your social anxiety is acting up a little, but you try to focus on Mako’s face. He’s busy looking at his menu. You look down on your menu … Oh Coolio there is chow mei—d u m PLINGS. Dumplings. There are the dumplings. There is a picture of it. You decide on other stuff too. The waiter came back to take your order. You gulp down your anxiety to tell him what you want, again the lack of human qualities is helping. Mako ordered a l o t of stuff, as always. He needs the energy.

  
You suddenly feel naked without the menu or the waiter hovering over you two. Mako peers over at you, but you shyly avoid his gaze while you pick at your nails. You did notice while waiting for the food that you are not used to seeing Mako without his mask. He starts to wear it less nowadays and he didn’t wear it to the date. Then you remembered he just burst to tears because he felt so guilty. You quickly look up at him, surprising him a little.

  
“You are feeling alright?” you ask quietly. 

  
Mako nodded yes.

  
You reach your hand out. It was a habit you do to your … Yeah a habit you do with your family members. You would stretch your hand out and they would hold it for a bit. Mako made the tiniest smile, reaching his hand over to hold yours. Then the drinks arrived. You two didn’t let go but you did say “thank you” to the waiter.

  
Mako’s fingers are warm and calloused. Yours is soft and cold, especially at the fingers. You knew by the textures that he is a hard worker. His life was not easy. Your problems are nothing compared to his. Your hands are soft because you didn’t have to work very hard. You were mocked and guilted for it. Yet they see you as useless because of your—

  
“What about you?” Mako asks.

  
You stare at him silently.

  
“You’re feeling better?” he continues, holding eye contact with you.

  
_I’m a bit nervous._

  
“I’m alright, thank you,” you smiled innocently. You don’t want to worry him or be too specific with your issues. It’s tiring thinking about it. What you don’t know is how observant he is. He sees the usually sign of nervousness, but it could be just you. Or you are just shy about the date. This is your first date ever. Worst part is Mako isn’t much of a talker either. He spent most of his life being silent and distant. Then he remembers how animated you got when talking about pizza. Maybe you’re too scared of annoying him, like always.

  
“Are you nervous?” he asks softly.

  
“Sir I’m always nervous,” you pointed out calmly.

  
I don’t want you to be so scared anymore. Is it me? Is it the past? Mako wonders. He looks at you with so much affection, making your heart jump the moment you meet his eyes again.

  
“… I love you,” you gave a genuine smile.

  
“I love you more, y/n,” Mako smiled back.

You smile wider. You genuinely don't want to worry anyone. 


	47. Adrenaline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mako and you continue to stay on this date idk
> 
> I'm about to start classes on Monday, but I may still write stuff with no problem.

“… What’s your favorite pizza topping?”

  
“Pepperoni, but bell peppers make pizza smell nostalgic for some reason. The recipe changed dramatically at some point in my childhood. The smell is different,” you answered thoughtfully. Most of your answers for simple questions are so hard. You could have just said “pepperoni” and that’s it. But nooo you have to be cringeworthy.

  
“How did the recipe change?” Mako asks curiously.

  
“I don’t know. Maybe because I ate it differently back then,” you squint at the wall next to you.

  
“How did you are it differently?” Mako tilt his head a little.

  
“I had this habit as a kid to eat the cheese first then the rest of the pizza. It was messy though and I stopped at some point,” you said as you remember. It really was odd the way you ate pizza. You remembered you didn’t eat the pepperoni because you thought it was spicy. Anything red always means it’s spicy. It is spicy but not like – jalapeno spicy. You were a picky eater.

  
Mako is happy to see you liking the food, including the dumplings. You were worried you are going to react negatively if you chew on something. It’s possibly a thing called sensory food aversion -- you immediately start gagging if the food texture throws you off, like if your chew comes in contact with the gross chewy part of a meat. It makes you gag thinking about it. Luckily nothing has happened while you ate your food. You even got chow mein and orange chicken. The chicken didn’t gross you out at all. Mako got a lot of stuff, as usual.

  
“… You want some of my money? Lucio paid me recently,” you asked Mako.

  
Mako looks up in surprise. You seem serious.

  
“Oh no! It’s on me,” Mako shook his hand.

  
“But – wait where do you work at?” you furrow your brows. You just realize he must have a job. I mean – he must get his money for food from somewhere.

  
“I’m a mechanic,” Mako scratch his head a little.

  
“Ooh,” you purse your lips. Mechanics are pretty cool. That may explain why he seem to smell like gas sometimes, but you don’t mind. You randomly like gasoline smell, then again you are that weirdo that likes the scent of markers and nail polish remover. Maybe that is why you would have one braincell most of the time.

  
“I never really – like on the weekends? You always at home,” you wondered as you munch on the noodles. You are surprised because he would always be at the dorms as if he has not much to do other than schoolwork.

  
“I work in the afternoons only. They accommodate to my schedule,” Mako explains, continuing to enjoy a kebab.

  
You nodded along, focusing on trying to get the last noodles with your chopsticks. You noticed Mako giving you a piece of meat on your almost empty plate. You said your thank you, slowly picking it up to eat it. It tastes sweet and earthy.

  
“Is it good?” Mako asks. You nodded yes to his question. You grab another dumpling. They are the size of your hand! But they are yummy and soft.

  
You two are really quiet during the date, but you two are happily eating in silence. You are happy. He is happy. You two are emptying the plates soon. You look around as Mako kept finishing his food. You turn behind you to look at the outside --

  
You stare wide-eyed on the window.

  
… There is a guy with a hoodie, but his face is too dark to be seen. You peer over at Mako, starting to have a bad gut feeling.

  
“… Mako. Can we leave somewhere more public?” you hesitantly ask Mako.

  
“Hm?”

  
“… Can we go to the restroom?” you got up. You pulled Mako by the arm gently, Mako eventually getting up with a grunt to follow you. You lead him to the back of the restaurant in the unisex bathroom. Mako is a bit confused – until he saw how fearful you look.

  
“… What’s wrong?” Mako asks worryingly. He is debating whether to hold your hands or hold you in general or --

  
“There is this guy with a hood behind the window. I think that was Reyes,” you told him softly. You’re scared that Reyes will show up out of nowhere.

  
Mako’s face grew serious. He turns around and try to get out of the restroom to confront the hooded figure, but –

  
“Wh – Mako No! NO HE IS NOT A MORTAL MAN! HE GOT GUNS AND SHIT –” you managed to convince Mako to stay with you. He glances over you as you continue to explain.

  
“He is armed too. He got big ass guns – bigger than my head! I don’t want you to fight him empty-handed, I’m not kidding,” you stare back at him, looking at him in the eyes to prove how serious you are.

  
Mako nodded slowly, understanding the problem.

  
“I’m just scared because he – he’s not a mortal man. He has powers like me because of Moira. He can teleport and turn to smoke and stuff. I know I sound like I snorted crack but that is why he managed to put his hands on me. I can easily escape if he was normal but … He’s not. That’s the scary part.” You explained quietly, worried that he might appear using those powers through the toilet or vents or somewhere.

  
“I will protect you, no matter what,” Mako assured huskily, holding you gently. Mako is not afraid of anyone. He lived in a cutthroat society and was tough on people. He killed people before. He can do it again when necessary, especially for your protection. You let him hug you for a bit.

  
“Let’s pay for the food – I’m calm enough to use my powers,” you pat his tummy. You hold onto Mako tightly as you two walk out the restroom. Mako walk up to the cashier and pay them upright. You look around and saw that the guy in the hood walked in. He’s just sitting at a booth, but you can see the top of his head from where you are. Mako felt you tighten your grip of his arm. You flinch the moment you saw the man’s head turn.

  
“Keep the change,” Mako assured. You two quickly walks back to the restroom -- you saw that the guy is lifting his head up to look at you two.

  
Closing the door behind, Mako looks over at you before you stood around. You thought about running through walls and stuff to get to Mako’s motorcycle faster, but you don’t want to tire him out and Reyes can still catch up…

  
“Mako”

  
He looks down at you. You stare back at him with – a lot of determination in your face. He tries to maintain eye - contact, but he is a bit relieved you don’t seem nervous enough to give up.

  
“… I barely ever hold eye contact like this. Your eyes are so pretty,” Mako cracks a smile.

  
You blushed and your heart swelled.

  
“Yours too!” you replied enthusiastically – then you heard loud footsteps. You immediately grab Mako’s hand and ran into the restroom wall – Mako tense up thinking that he will smash into a wall. But no. He blinked and saw darkness. He saw blue lights around as he ran with you, holding your hand firmly while you lead him somewhere. You hop out of the space to the parking garage. Mako trips a little – it’s been a long time since he did any physical activity like that. You ran to the sidecar of his chopper.

  
“Hurry hurry hurry HURRY FAM,” you did a slappy on the top of the sidecar.

  
Mako hurriedly got on his motorcycle and try to start the engine. You lift yourself up to see if the coast is clear. The moment the motor start, Mako immediately reverse out of the parking space and sped through the garage lot. He screeches into a stop when he remembers he needs to check out of the parking garage. You continue to look around until he can drive again, pushing the gas pedal down to pick up speed. You two passed by the hooded figure, who quickly saw you two.

  
Mako weaves in and out of other cars, not caring whether the cops will have a problem with it. He hasn’t felt this adrenaline rush since … Mako didn’t saw you getting up a little to watch your backs. Despite the numerous lights, it’s a bit too dark and too fast to see if Reyes caught up to you two. You barely remember what his smoke usually looks like.

You turn to your direction, stretching your hand out to do that trick again. Mako brace himself when he saw the black hole again. Again he only saw darkness and blue lights around – until you two pop onto the street across the university.

Mako quickly slows down enough to not accidentally run over a student. He quickly reaches to a parking spot and turn off his engine. You quickly hop out and ran next to Mako so you two can run back to the dorms. Luckily you two made it back with no problem. Mako locks the door and you quickly ran all over to close the windows. You went to lock Lucio’s window, forgetting you are not sleeping there anymore. You turn and saw Jamison… He is sleeping on your bed. He seems fine.

  
“Oh hey y/n!” Lucio turns to you.

  
“Oh hey Lucio! Uhhh just locking the windows because someone might break in,” you said, not wanting to scare Lucio away with what you know.

  
“Really? But this campus is pretty safe!” Lucio laughs a little, not understanding why you suddenly got paranoid.

  
After locking all windows, you ran over to Mako’s room. Mako and you sat on the couch inside, huffing out shallow breaths. Mako felt oddly alive. This is an eventful date.

  
“… H- hey Mako … I saved the leftovers,” you tiredly smiled, pulling out a bamboo steam. Mako laughs in a wheezing manner. You two didn’t really eat the dumplings right away until you two calmed down. Mako wanted to talk to you more. He is not sure what to talk about – then he remembers one other relative that is alive right now.

  
“Do you want to see your sister?” Mako asks innocently. What he doesn’t expect is for you to immediately frown. Mako looks over at you for answers. He noticed how … Angry you look. Your posture is tense, your eyes are narrowed and wide, your skin paling.

  
“… Did something happen? What’s wrong?” Mako asks worryingly. You shook your head roughly. You are having trouble on what to say to him. You don’t know how to explain what happened between you and your sister.

  
“y/n, you can talk to me; what’s wrong with your sister?” Mako asks.

  
“She’s … I'm still struggling to talk about my issues, but the reason why I have trouble ever opening up to people is because my family would dismiss me or tell me I'm overreacting. If there was any problem I had with someone, my sister would go against me. she repeatedly would side with people that are the bad guys -- like when this guy sent me unsolicited dick pics and when my mom was yelling at me nonstop for days. Because I trusted her the most, I thought I was the bad person all the time. But now…” you shrug after you explained why you don’t like your sister.

  
“Huh?” Mako furrow his brows.

  
“She … She doesn’t really care about me. I trusted her more than anything and she just -- yeah she look at me like a spoiled child. She thinks it's my fault. She thinks I'm overreacting. She thinks I should know better because “autistic folks are smarter than others”. She didn't even listen when I said I was getting suicidal thoughts. That is why I look at myself like a burden and the bad guy because if the one person I trust looks at me like that?? …. Then …” you added, slowly mumbling as your self-doubts crawls over again.

  
Mako listens to you, his heart panging from remembering what you almost did not too long ago. What angers him the most is the fact that you did try to get help, only to be ignored.

  
“She doesn't believe in me and she thinks it's my fault I lose friends or if anything bad happens. She never comforts me, she just immediately point the finger at me. I did … Love her and stuff, especially because she inspired my taste in music and my hobbies … But ….” you shook your head to not make the tears come out.

  
“But she is your fucking sister! Why would she ignore you when you said you are suicidal?!” Mako exclaims.

  
“She – she became more of an asshole when she starts hanging around with these guys. Her boyfriend is the worst. Those guys – It they ever found out I was nonbinary, they would bully me about it… What’s funny is that even they didn’t like how my sister treats me,” you frown, remembering the disgusting transphobic comments they made.

Mako pats your head softly. 

"You know ... I call myself names because she calls me names, like dumbass and retarded. That's why I can't stop," you blinked, realizing how ... Off that habit is. 

  
Mako frowns in disbelief. Your own sister … She had your trust only to throw it in the garbage. He was wondering why you felt so alone and have so much distrust towards yourself. Turns out the one person you really did trust and care for in your family turn her back on you. That made Mako’s blood boil. Mako reaches over and holds your head between his large hands. Your hair feels so soft.

  
“… Listen to me. Even if your own family hurts you, it doesn’t mean you are a bad person and you deserve it. Your sister is a dumbass for what she did. You don’t deserve any of this. Remember this. You do not deserve to be mistreated. You don’t deserve it. No one does,” Mako tries to repeat himself. He wants you to remember this truth.

  
You slowly nodded. This can’t erase the years of developing this mindset. Not just with words. But he can repeat himself as much as he can until he dies.


	48. Wormholes and Blackholes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good news - Jamison is doing fine and is a friendly person. You walk with him to ease his hyperactive body.

Jamison seems more animated than usual. He managed to make himself cereal, eating it with no problem then walk around. Lucio try to entertain him by listening to a bunch of songs, but Jamison can’t stay still. He barely says anything, just no or yes questions. Mako is too busy studying, so you want to give him space --

  
You walked around campus while holding Jamison’s hand. Jamison and you are quiet, especially since you don’t have much to say. You are kind of tired. You try to study but didn’t want to push yourself. Jamison would force you to run after him because of how small your legs are. You are self-conscious about your vibes nowadays because you remember this dumb thing you heard from Geila – long story short, she claims animals like her and are quick to walk up to her. She claims that a voice actor admires her when she spoke to him. She claims that so many people like her, even though she is not a pleasant person in reality. You are wondering if … Maybe you are wrong? It still messes you up remembering your sister’s harsh words. You turn to Jamison, not really expecting him to answer back.

  
“… Do you feel sick when around me? Do you feel anxious?” you ask, although lowly.

  
Jamison didn’t respond. He stays walking around, looking at the grass.

  
“Maybe my pain really is minimal. Then why does it hurt so much?” you turn away, debating if it was a good idea to say that.

  
He is quiet. He kept staring at the small flowers he finds in the grasses. The sunset is making you nervous. It reminds you of the awkward times you spent with your mom when she kept pressuring you to walk to this ghetto park with her. Or when you come home from elementary school, which is usually hours of feeling alone or alienated. You squint away, not liking the sun.

  
“… You’re my mum?”

  
You blinked and whip around. Jamison is looking right at you. Was it him?? It sounds like him but uhh...

  
“Oh … No, you’re too young. Are you my sister?” he asks. His voice sounds so normal. It doesn’t have that weird high pitch characteristic. You are surprised to hear his voice sound deeper than you are used to.

  
“I’m your friend and a roommate,” you replied with no problem. You look forward with a straight face.

  
“Then why do you take care of me?” Jamison asks curiously.

  
“Because… Sir you are barely eating and stuff, that’s pretty concerning,” you explain, trying to treat him like a capable human being. Jamison just nodded. You are feeling happy for him because he is talking just fine, just don’t remember stuff still.

  
“You don’t remember but you helped me get better. I would have been messed up without you,” you smiled at him.

  
“What do you mean?” Jamison tilt his head a little.

  
“I’m sad and you make me happy,” you try to be basic about it.

  
“Do I crack jokes?”

  
“Sometimes.”

  
“Why are you sad?”

  
“Because people are mean to me.”

  
“Why?”

  
“Because I do not act normal?”

  
“What is normal?”

  
… You stopped in your track.

  
“I … I honestly don’t know either,” you shrug.

  
Jamison blinks slowly.

  
“… Do you even remember your name??” you squint at Jamison.

  
“… James? Jamison Fawkes,” he shrugs. You sighed in relief.

  
“Okei. I’m y/n by the way, since you forgot,” you point at yourself.

  
Jamison nodded, allowing you two to walk again.

  
“… howya goin? You were reeeally quiet the whole time,” Jamison asks. You noticed his accent is coming back.

  
“Because you were!” you pointed out excitedly.

  
“Go on!” Jamison pouts.

  
“You scared everyone! That is why people were constantly crying around you because – yeah you forgot a shit ton,” you explained honestly.

  
“Like what?” Jamison squints.

  
“A l o t. Like when you first saw that chonky boi over at the dorm. When you first came at the dorm. When you first met me. When you first … Yeah a lot, do you??” you squint back at him.

  
“Do I what?”

  
“Remember any of that?”

  
“Uhh … Nope. Does it matter?”

  
You think for a while. You remember him telling you about how he feels about his past. He remembers a lot of the bad things he did, and it haunts him; especially because he doesn’t feel as disturbed as he should be.

  
“… That’s up to you. At least you have a clean slate,” you shrug.

  
“A what?”

  
“Like if you did something wrong days ago, it will not be held against you? Then again, this is a weird – okay this is getting weird, I’m just happy you are alive and – y’know, active,” you try to give a genuine smile.

  
Jamison’s expression softens.

  
“If you need anything, let me know,” you assured him.

  
You two kept walking around campus, getting farther away from the dormitories. You two would talk for a little bit, but Jamison’s vocabulary would throw you off sometimes. He would say weird stuff like he’s craving a “choccy biccy”, mumbling about ducks? You assumed it’s just his culture bleeding out, but you don’t remember Mako speaking that way. He barely ever uses slang.

  
There are happy moments that occurred because you made Jamison laugh, like when you say “you’re telling me that this big guy at the Broly movie is named after an umbrella??” or when you asked “do you believe that America is an evil corporation that will take Australia’s oil?”

  
He’s even happy to state that he agrees. America is an evil corporation. Then you two start talking about more conspiracies, like maybe he was abducted by aliens and he doesn’t know.

  
“I’m part of a conspiracy,” you point at yourself.

  
“How so?”

  
“I disappeared in the year 2018. There are no fingerprints, no clues, no DNA, nothing! My existence is a huge mystery. People don’t know what happened to me unless they live through 2076. Look it up on a lappy!” you use one term you remember for laptop.

  
“Ya lying,” Jamison laughs, not believing you.

  
“Guess who found me years later? Who found this walnut?” you smiled in preparation for the reveal.

“Who?” Jamison asks curiously.

  
“You!” you point at him.

  
“Me?” Jamison asks, pointing at himself.

  
“At the science building!” you beam.

  
“Your storytelling is weird,” Jamison smiled.

  
You feel so happy. You felt like a part of your friend is back.

  
“Am I a bad person? What are your theories?” you ask softly. Jamison’s smile falters a little, peering over you.

  
“My theory is … You are weird! And I love it!” Jamison stated happily, his high pitch voice shining through. You giggled along, happy to be spending time with someone you thought you lost forever. But why do you feel so nervous? Is it the sun? Is it from yesterday?

  
“Oh shit it’s getting dark … We are getting too far,” you pointed out. You start to run back to get to the dorms, Jamison hesitantly running along. He catches up to you because of his height to the point of outrunning you. You two ran closer to the dorms, passing by the science building—

  
Suddenly you felt a tug then a full-blown shove. You fell harshly on the grass. Jamison quickly noticed you are not by his side anymore, turning around to run back to you. He asked if you are alright only to get shoved away from you by an unseen force. You know it’s not your powers doing that. You have an awful feeling in your gut.

  
You scrambled to get up so you can protect him, but then dark smoke got right on front of you to immediately form into Reyes. You slam yourself right on his chest before you can process who he is – he quickly grabs hold of your shirt to lift you off the air. Jamison quickly got up, seeing the wicked man stand before him.

  
“Hey you dipstick! What was that for?!” Jamison exclaimed, getting to his feet with a grunt.

  
Reyes turns to him a little, a bit confused on why Jamison have his leg and arm intact. Jamison got closer to him but froze when Reyes pulled out a gun. He places it right next to your head, roughly grabbing you tightly against him. Your ribs and underarms hurt from the awkward hold he has on you. Jamison frowns, not knowing what to do. You two didn’t say anything.

  
Reyes is carrying you away slowly, facing Jamison. Jamison really has no idea what to do … He slouches there helplessly, worried about how Reyes is going to hurt you. You are quiet because you don’t want Reyes to do something to Jamison if you say anything. You don’t know the full extent of his cruelty. You don’t even want Mako involved either.

  
Jamison watched helplessly as Reyes drags you away – until his gun suddenly crunch itself.

  
“What the—” Reyes looks up in confusion before you phase out of him. You run up to Jamison and stick your arm out. Jamison quickly gets pulled into your wormhole to lead him back to Mako’s room.

You whip around to see Reyes threatening to grab you again, pulling out another gun.

  
You bare your teeth at him as a snarl. Before he pulls the trigger, you swung a bat at him. You flinched at the gun shot sound, but you focus on trying to stop him. Your swing managed to make him let go of his gun. You slam your bat down on his shoulder, then another slam, then another slam, then another – Until Reyes turn back to smoke. You are trying to use your pent-up anger as strength. You ran off to get farther from campus, so no passerby gets hurt. Sure enough, the smoke starts following you rapidly. You use a bit of teleportation in your run so you can get by faster and to confuse the assailant.

  
You reach to an empty wooden area where you met Siebren for the second time, which is a bad place to be when it’s getting dark. You look around to see that nobody is in the area. You stood still with a straight posture – You suddenly jump through your wormhole as Reyes solidifies himself. You rapidly fell through the sky to slam your bat right at his head.

  
You’re not worried about killing him because you know he can’t be killed normally at this point. You’re just hurting him as much as you could to discourage him. You kept doing that same trick through different directions – until he randomly pulled out another gun! You got so confused as to why he has more – he shot at your directions and some bullets graze your arms. You got through the wormhole to stay inside your space, realizing what happened to your arm. While trying to heal yourself, Reyes is also recovering. You didn’t notice you manage to dislocate his shoulder blade and jaw. He straightens himself up with gross crackling noises.

  
“… You know, you can’t protect everyone,” Reyes commented ominously. You quickly understood what he meant; if he can’t hurt you, then he can hurt your friends. He can hurt your classmates. He can hurt Jamison. You watched from your wormhole, looking at him in 3rd perspective. You hesitantly got out of the hole, with bat in hand. Reyes quickly turn to you, but he didn’t run after you right away.

He noticed you are holding eye contact.

  
“You understood? You can’t kill me. I’m immortal. You should be really scared of me,” Reyes stated.

  
You are trying to figure if maybe fire? Electrifying him? Or flinging him into space can stop him. You’re not sure why is he so confident with that answer.

  
“My cells quickly die and rebuild. It doesn’t matter if I get burned or smothered, you can’t truly stop me,” Reyes added.

  
“… I’m sorry,” you suddenly said.

  
“For what? For pissing me off?” Reyes tilt his head curiously.

  
“That is a fate worst than death honestly,” you furrow your brows. Reyes is thrown off with how you stare pitifully towards him.

  
… He slowly walks towards you, ready to strike if you even flinch. He has numerous guns in his coat. You stood there bravely, not wanting to cower away like you always did against the people that hurt you; holding eye contact with his shallow, dark eyes….

  
Suddenly the area around you encircled in purplish periwinkle mist. Reyes quickly recognize this sensation, because he felt grounded and stiff. You two start to float rapidly on the air, Reyes scrambling to pull his gun until he is swung into a black hole with a harsh scream. You get caught in Siebren’s arms, holding you tightly in his arms in a hug. Before he sets you back on the ground, without warning, Siebren kiss your forehead and your nose. You blinked, slowly realizing there are strong winds and leaves flying all over because of the force of the hole.

  
“I love you so much, y/n. I hope to see you in another universe,” Siebren smiled with so much love in his expression.

  
You stare back at him, not knowing what he is about to do …. Siebren jumps into the black hole – the moment he does so, the leaves stop flying and the hole is gone. The trees are awfully bent though.

You stood there in disbelief. It all went fast. Too fast. Wh. Wait what did he do? He’s going to show up again, will he?

  
…

* * *

Mako was in his room, studying for the finals since he was too busy worrying for you and Jamison the past few weeks. He was getting the last few parts of his notes when Jamison pop out of nowhere from the ceiling and fell to the ground. Mako flinched at his sudden appearance, looking up from his notes to see Jamison. He stares with a mix of shock and concern as Jamison scrambled to get on his feet.

  
“Y/n!” Jamison panics where he stands, turning and walking in circles before running to the window. Mako did not see Jamison this active – wait he was walking with you. And he remembers your name.

  
“Jamison? Where is y/n?” Mako gets up from his couch, walking towards Jamison by the window.

  
“He took her!” Jamison exclaimed, frantically looking around the window. Mako is alarmed to hear Jamison talking, even though it’s not his usual shrilly voice he remembers him for.

  
“Who took her?!” Mako grabs Jamison by his shoulders.

  
“I don’t know who! We were running back when this guy with guns pushed us around,” Jamison explained loudly before he runs out of Mako’s room to go back outside.

  
“What?!” Mako panics, running after Jamison to follow him to where you could be.

Suddenly the alarms went off. Mako and Jamison saw Fareeha quickly run past them, going down the stairs while Mako and Jamison sticks behind her. The students fearfully ran out the lobby to their dorms – Mako quickly realize based on their pattern that a lockdown is happening. Mako and Jamison sped out the doors before it shuts off to keep the students inside, Fareeha reuniting with her security colleagues. Jamison points at the area near the science building where Reyes attacked you both. Students and professors quickly lock their classrooms and shut their windows while students quickly ran off to a secure area. The Aussie duo ran over to that spot to see if there is any sign of a struggle. Jamison looks around, trying to figure out where they could have left while Mako caught his breath. Jamison ran over to where the walk stopped, basically leaving campus. They kept running to the dark wooden area next to the friendship pond – but they are startled by a loud menacing noise and the wind picking up speed in a flash. Mako and Jamison lose balance and fell on the grass. They couldn’t get up, making them panic even more. No! This is all going so fast! What if it’s too late? Why is everything so chaotic? Are you even okay?

  
… Then the wind went as fast as they came. Mako and Jamison hurriedly got up, noticing how bent the trees and shrubs are. They quickly ran up until they got to an empty grassy area – they found you kneeling at a spot that is violently scraped.

  
“y/n!” Jamison scream at you. You quickly turn around. You are surprised to see Jamison and Mako running after you. You scrambled to get up and brace yourself for their intense hugging. You look a mess though – your hair is in disarray while covered with leaves and dust, your arm is still bleeding except it’s not as severe as it was, and there is dirt all over your clothes.

  
Jamison quickly hugs you while Mako grabs the two of you tightly against him, the two junkers so happy to see you are alive. They felt you shivering, but you are not cold.

  
“Aaah are you alright mate? Wait! Where is he?! Where is the bloody mongrel?!” Jamison quickly lets you go, running around your area with fists flying. Mako lets go of you two finally, also looking around to commit homicide.

  
“I … I don’t know?” you replied with a weird tone in your voice.

  
Mako and Jamison look at you with a “huh?”

  
“That wasn’t me. Siebren took him. I don’t know if he is coming back or not,” you mumbled, not sure whether to be sad because there is a huge probability that you witnessed someone sacrificing himself. I mean … You can hop in and out of your worm hole. You assume that Siebren can and maybe put Reyes in some forever prison. Right? Right??

  
Mako and Jamison turn to one another. Siebren did this?

  
“Wait who?” Jamison squints, not recognizing that name.

  
You shook your head, coming over to the two to teleport them back to their dorm.


	49. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is on lockdown while the students are figuring out what to do about this situation.

“Ever since you met these guys, you gotten sadder,” Olivia commented.

She is not even saying it in a mocking tone. She doesn’t have the usual cocky grin on her face. Olivia is locked in the dorm with Amelie in the room. Zarya and Kimiko went out because the two are part of the university security team. The other people with her are Satya, Moira, Fio, and Ashe.

  
“It’s like they are slowly brainwashing you about how bad things are,” Olivia added gravely.

  
“You hang out with them too,” Amelie mumbled, fumbling with her ballet shoes.

  
“… Amelie, I got new friends now. I try to be good friends with you and Reyes, but you two are so boring! And cold,” Olivia said with so much honesty. She doesn’t remember ever being this open besides the one time she talked to you on the roof.

  
“I never really saw you as a friend,” Amelie mumbled out a bit clearly.

Usually Olivia don’t care, but it stung a little. She genuinely wanted to get along with her, but it wasn’t meant to be.

  
“Okay. Who cares. I’m telling you that these guys are going to make you throw your future in the garbage. They recently asked me to come deal with their shenanigans. If I went with them, the whole campus would have been endangered. But I was never on their side and I never agreed with them. And okay, you were never a friend. Baptiste is better than you, y/n is better than you, hell, even Jamison Fawkes is better than you. The reason why I will not open the door for you is two reasons: one, I am not your puppet. And Two, I genuinely care for you. What is Gerard going to think?” Olivia explained, frowning at her roommate.

  
Amelie whip around. Her yellow eyes piercing at Olivia’s violet ones.

  
“I’m being serious here; who do you care for? Are you even thinking for yourself?” Olivia stares back with no hesitation.

  
Suddenly Amelie and Olivia heard some arguing behind the walls. The two knew it was not coming from Kimimo and Fio’s room.

  
A door roughly opens, Satya coming out of it with a huge frown on her face.

  
“Satya—” Moira follows behind her.

  
“How can you create such a monster?! Do you even know how unstable and chaotic that man is?! He is going to kill everyone in this facility because YOU gave him the ability to!” Satya exclaims in frustration, yet gentle enough to be easy on the ears. Olivia and Amelie opened their door and peer outside to see what’s going on.

  
“I only have the best intention, Vaswani. I didn’t know he is going to be that violent,” Moira tries to explain calmly.

  
“How can you not?! You know how violent of a man he is, I know you are not that ignorant,” Satya pointed at Moira.

  
Olivia also asks the same question. Moira is supposed to be a genius. She should have known this is coming. She should have known that Reyes is this maverick Logan Paul kind of asshole that would kill someone for views if he is bored enough to. She is sure Moira is not that stupid.

  
“He was one of the higher ups of Overwatch university. He wouldn’t have such a high position if he is such a terrible person,” Moira points out.

  
Olivia thinks otherwise. People are always power hungry. There are plenty of stories about how people in high positions take advantage of their power. Hell, even a professor takes advantage of their students. She doesn’t see the point speaking up though. She knows how stubborn Moira is in general.

  
“I should have told you,” Olivia mumbled, stepping in finally. She feels so much empathy for Satya because she kind of reminded her of you. You two are always doubting yourselves. Satya would hide her worries and problems by appearing arrogant; but she is lonely. Maybe just as lonely as Olivia. She is always studying and never really like to spend time with anyone.

  
“Satya – Sanjay is one of the armed guys infiltrating the school,” Olivia revealed.

  
“Are you serious?!—Wait, _one_ of them??” Satya widens her eyes in shock. She quickly turns to Moira, only getting angrier.

  
“Why didn’t you tell me about Sanjay? What am I even using my talents for? For disorder? This is horrible. I didn’t agree to this,” Satya sobs, guilt oozing into her as she kept remembering the many times she ignored her intuition. Olivia is shocked, unpleasantly surprised at how hurt Satya sounds like since she is always emotionless. Satya been having a gut feeling that something is wrong with these people, as if they shouldn’t be trusted. But they are scientists. They are respected. They should be intelligent, yes? Yes?

* * *

  
Mako pops into the room, whipping around to catch you and Jamison in each big hand. He lowers you down gently. You ran to the window only to find it shut in completely with metal. While you slowly hear the sirens in the distance, Jamison quickly comes into the living room to run into Lucio. You eventually got out the room too, hearing Lucio being surprised at how vocal Jamison is now.

“I think people saw that – y/n and I were outside and this guy came in with weapons,” Jamison droned on nervously. 

  
“Where is – oh there they are, oh good .. Uhh focus uh what is your name?” Lucio asked, sponging up Jamison's worries.

  
“Jamison Fawkes, why?”

  
“Okay uhh what is your birthday?”

  
“I don’t know. I think I’m too old for that!”

  
“What? You are never too old to party!”

  
“Oh sure?”

  
“W-where is the guy?”

  
“I—I don’t know…”

  
“Siebren took him,” you answered.

  
Lucio and Jamison turn to you. You are not looking at them. You are busy trying to open the door but saw that the whole dorm is locked in.

  
“Siebren? You mean the astrophysicist?” Lucio asks softly, stepping a bit closer to you.

  
“I don’t know when he is coming back … He took Reyes away,” you added, walking over to Lucio’s room to check his window.

  
“Reyes?! Wh—” Lucio quickly come over to his room to see you, Jamison following behind him.

  
“Reyes was the guy responsible for the riot protesting thing that happened days ago – he came onto campus with guns,” you mentioned with no hesitation.

  
“He isn’t the only one."

  
The three of you turn to the man leaning on the edge of the door; Jesse McCree. Mako is a few feet behind him, listening.

  
“What?!” you frown, coming close to Jesse. He nodded with a disappointed look on his face.

  
“Reyes is not alone; other folks like Akande, Nguyen, and Pacanowsky came along with weapons in hand,” Jesse explain gravely.

  
Everyone grew weary, realizing how serious this is. Reyes isn’t only there to come after you. He wasn’t going to stop if he did manage to get you. He will hurt more people anyway. He was going to continue abusing his powers. He would have been easily stopped if he was a normal person, but he isn’t. This isn’t just a riot; this is definitely a raid. Long story short, Siebren did the right choice by trapping him in where he can’t escape. But what was the point of him going in as well? To beat him up? Torture him? He is going to come back, right? You can do that too. YOU could have done the same thing actually, like just put Reaper into a void like W.D. Gaster. So what is the point jumping in?? Is he waiting until everything dies down? Is he busy getting other guys?

  
… You suddenly pass by the guys, coming over to the door to phase through. Mako immediately try to stop you, but you left before he can grab you. You quickly phase through different walls until you reach to Olivia’s dorm. You phase through it and saw the commotion happening.

  
The three women are surprised to see you.

  
“… Olivia?” you turn to Olivia’s direction, unfazed. 

  
Olivia gently walks over you, nodding at you to continue.

  
“I’m gonna go stop the guys. Reyes isn’t the only attacker. You don’t have to come with me. Siebren already took care of Reyes,” you explained quickly.

  
“Siebren?...” Moira whispers questionably.

  
“Take me with you,” Satya rubs her eyes, quickly composing herself.

  
“R-really?” you blinked rapidly, not sure what she is capable of. Satya ran off into her room to get something.

  
“Me too, y/n. I don’t want to leave you alone,” Olivia joins in. Satya came back quickly with something on both her arms. Olivia got her translocator and other stuff.

  
You nodded quickly, holding both their hands so they can pass through the door with you. After doing so, you three ran off while Olivia hack through the cameras to get the assailants’ locations.

  
“Hey … You can let the guys join in, Satya and I will be fine on our own,” Olivia suggested. Satya nodded in agreement. You quickly phase through walls to get back to Mako’s dorm. You came in with all the guys just in the living room, loudly talking to one another in a panic.

  
“Where is Mako?” you loudly ask. The group turn around quickly, you raise your hand to make them not run into you if they decided to. You saw that Baptiste, Zenyatta, and Hanzo are also in the dorm.

  
“… Olivia and Satya are coming with me to stop the bad guys,” you announced.

  
“Satya? Like Satya Vaswani?” Lucio furrow his brows.

  
“Y-yeah, I just want to know if you people want to help too,” you ask, trying not to chicken out or anything. There was a pregnant pause. Slowly, Mako separate from the guys to come to you. You look up at him a little nervously.

  
“… Back in my days in the early 21st century, children younger than me are getting shot down everyday by their own classmates. It got so common that it no longer fazes people anymore. The children got used to it, expecting it to happen to them sooner or later. They end up making a lot of memes about it that’s pretty funny yet so dangerously true. I have the power to beat the shit out of those people. I am _not_ going through another Santa Fe or Pulse club type shit knowing that I can easily stop them. This is 2076. This shit should have stopped a long time ago. Now who the fuck wants to commit street justice?” you declared, surprised you didn’t stutter at all.

  
“… Sounds fine by me,” Jesse steps in. Hanzo steps in after him.

  
“Olivia is a good friend of mine, I must help my friends,” Baptiste steps in. Lucio, Zenyatta, and even Jamison steps in.

  
“Wait – how are we going to catch them? We can’t kill them unless…?” Lucio furrow his brows, not liking the idea of taking someone’s life.

  
“My wormholes. Put them hoes in space jail,” you circle the floor to make that wormhole, the guys peering down to see nothing but darkness and blue lights.

  
“That’s cool, but how are we going to destabilize them...? Then again, I got anesthesia—” Baptiste pull his hand up.

  
“No no, they will end up having an opium addiction sooner or later if we use any of the medical chemicals,” Lucio squints.

  
“Besides date rape drugs what else can we do to incapacitate them? It’s not like we have chloroform around here?” Baptiste asks while scowling.

  
“Choke them out,” Hanzo suddenly comments.

  
“Speak some sense into them,” Zenyatta lift his pointed hand up.

  
“Knock em out with _this_ ,” Mako suggested while lifting his large fist midair.

  
“I don’t think they have to be knocked out. Just somehow get them into this space prison,” you gesture to the wormhole.

  
“So just slam them into this hole somehow,” Jesse asks curiously.

  
“Yeah, then surrender them to the cops,” you nodded.

  
Suddenly, a blue fancy teleporter shows up in front of the door. The group turns and saw it, a bit alarmed until Olivia emerge from it right before Satya. Satya closes off the teleporter, turning around unamused until she locked eyes with Lucio. You quickly noticed both their demeanor changed; Satya and Lucio looked away with a frown. Confused, you almost asked them what is up until –

  
“Well what are we waiting for? Justice ain’t gonna dispense itself,” Jesse declared.

  
You and the others nodded, Olivia quickly going through the cameras so they can get their first target. Olivia slowly spots most of the bad guys, like Akande and Mauga. 

"There he is -- Sanjay," Satya glared solemnly, pointing at a man with brown hair and dark eyes. 

"How are we going to to this? Should we split up into small teams?" Baptiste scratch his head. 

"That wouldn't be too bad. I'll keep everyone informed with the assailants's locations and such," Olivia nodded. 

"Then let me confront Sanjay," Satya volunteered. Lucio whips around, surprised that Satya suddenly turned against Sanjay after he saw how annoyingly loyal she is to him, like a puppet. 

"Satya, let me join you," Lucio turn to her fully. She stare back in surprise, not expecting him to not even spare a glance on her direction. 

"O... Of course," Satya nodded hesitantly. 

"I'll take care of Max and a few others, maybe Mauga," Jesse stroke his beard as he thinks. 

"I'll come with you," Hanzo put his hand on Mccree's shoulder. 

"I'll fight Mauga off with you," Baptiste nodded along. 

"I don't know about Akande... Mauga is a strong man but Akande has more dexterity," Mccree wonders worryingly. 

"Yeah, I understand. I know Mauga. He is more brawn than brains, but Akande is different," Baptiste agrees. 

"I'll take care of him," Mako nodded. He is the biggest and the most intimidating man in the group. Even though he is large, he is still physically capable of moving fast. 

The groups are assembled into three subgroups -- 

Hanzo and Baptiste will go with Mccree

Jamison and Olivia will go with Mako

Zenyatta and Lucio will go with Satya. 

You want to help everyone, so you will always get information from Olivia to quickly come to any group's aid if they incapacitate anyone. Olivia gave everyone an earpiece to keep connected. You are not sure who to go first, depsite how biased you are to quickly go with Mako -- but you didn't want him to worry over you. You quickly decided to go with Satya on their fight against Sanjay since he seems weak. 

"Alright, let's split up gang," Mccree grins. Then everyone proceeded to get through Satya's teleporter to go against the rebels. Zenyatta and Olivia are the last ones to come through, but Zenyatta turn to Olivia to ask her for a favor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember the last time I updated. I was writing this fanfic as just me goofing off while allowing myself to vent. I'm still not 100% happy right now because I'm still hurt about alot of things, but this project is meant to give me hope. I just hope I can follow my own advice and just -- be myself idk. I didn't have time nor the motivation to because I was stuck on the technical stuff and because of classes. I might update wayyy later again, but I'll try to finish this up as soon as possible because deadass there is only less than 12 chapters left. Shout out to XxGrIzz1yB3aRxX for being very supportive and also sorry for not updating as much anymore ;-;


	50. Reconciliations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People are getting thrown into holes after getting their ass beaten. Also warning for ableism ;;

Sanjay and his goons are walking at the science building, snooping around for any rooms and equipment.

  
The few men following Sanjay went ahead of him and look behind the corner. When there is not a peep from these halls, they walk over to the first door on their right. The guys open the door and walks in – but they immediately disappear with a shriek. The guys behind them jumped, looking down the floor to see nothing that could have taken them – but then a loud whomp throws them flying into the air, a hole appearing behind them to catch them. Sanjay looks around confused, everything happening quickly.

  
“I remember you,” Lucio glared as he appeared from the opened door. Sanjay turns to Lucio.

  
“Oh … Wait, who are you?” Sanjay tilt his head.

  
Lucio clench his teeth in annoyance.

  
“I was a fool for listening to you,” Satya scowls, pointing her weapon at him from behind. Sanjay turns to her, his brows raised.

  
“Ah, miss Vaswani,” Sanjay smiled innocently.

  
“You did it. You cause the explosion in Caledo headquarters,” Satya revealed, Lucio turning to her in shock. He remembers there was a terrible explosion and a fire that happened before Vishkar took over his home. There was a fight between who is going to rebuild Rio after the Omnic Crisis until …

  
“Wait … What? You did it? Not only did you force my people to work for your crappy company, one of them being my dad, but you commit arson?!” Lucio stomp closer to Sanjay, angrily looking at him.

Zenyatta is with you while you kept catching the people that were close to the halls.

  
“Force? I didn’t force them. All Vishkar did is make Rio a better place to stay… Until the rebels came,” Sanjay peer over at Lucio, as if he’s been recognizing Lucio. Lucio stare back at Sanjay with no issue.

  
“Don’t think I don’t recognize that device there. It belonged to Vishkar. Say, why did you suddenly start befriending this street ruffian?” Sanjay quickly turns to Satya.

  
“Why are you here? To cause disorder? Just like you always did this whole time? We know you are part of Reyes’s criminals,” Satya frowns, trying not to back down.

  
“Criminals? Oh no, miss Vaswani, we are not criminals! We are merely rebuilding the infrastructure, like we always do … Did you forget all the nice things we done for you and your people? Remember your village? Why would we want to cause chaos if that is against Vishkar’s vision?” Sanjay asks, not noticing you and Zenyatta coming back to back up Satya and Lucio. Satya’s eyes fell, growing hesitant with what she is doing. She’s been patented and supported by Vishkar basically most of her life. This is like going against your own family… Meanwhile, you felt such an awful feeling in your stomach – as if this kind of talk has been told to you before.

  
“You needed the help. Who else will help a … Mentally challenged person as yourself?” Sanjay grins.

  
“The FUCK did you just say?” your growled loudly, almost pouncing towards Sanjay before Zenyatta holds your shoulders.

  
“So not only are you awful towards the lower class, but ableist too?? Can you be any worse?” Lucio frowned in disgust.

  
“What? It’s a fact. She’s not… Like the rest of the world. She’s special!” Sanjay shrug, matter-of-factly.

  
Suddenly he got slammed onto the wall right behind him by an unseen force, the wall cracking under him. Satya and Lucio whip around, noticing your tense form with your arm sprawled in front of you. Zenyatta couldn’t stop nor foresee that. You immediately start throwing him around the hall with your telekinesis. Lucio and Satya froze, not sure what to do because they are too scared to get in the way. Zenyatta also froze, which is unusual to him. What surprises him is that the only instance of violence you showed was when Jamison was explaining what happened to his prosthetic, but he didn’t know your anger was this bad.

Sanjay try to block your blows, probably already broken a rib, getting ready to use his Vishkar technology -- until a blue light flash. Sanjay is successfully knocked down by Satya. Surprised, you quickly got your composure and slowly drag him over to a newly formed wormhole to drop him in. You close the hole, your body shaking from too much adrenaline.

  
“S-sorry. I made a mess agai..n..” Your eyes darted around nervously, holding your hands together as if trying to stop yourself.

  
“(Y/N) I.. I understand. I understand your frustration, I understand…” Satya’s face saddens, slouching a little to give you an awkward hug. She don’t remember ever being given physical affection, but she tries to remember how you act.

  
“I get so angry I—I hate it when people bully others, they can bully me but they can’t bully anyone else I want to _strangle_ them and beAT THEIR ASSES--!!” the floor cracked under you, Satya quickly keeping her distance… Except Zenyatta. He bravely got closer, handing you a large yellow ball.

  
“Here, it helps you have a peace of mind,” Zenyatta suggested. You carefully hold the ball, but it just floated above you.

  
“I – I’ll go fix the walls and stuff,” you shook your head, too embarrassed to face the group. While you start cleaning up, Olivia asks the group if they are fine.

  
“We got Sanjay and his companions, yeah,” Lucio informs her, walking behind Satya to check for anymore enemies. Zenyatta watched over you so you are not alone and so the ball can keep working.

You’re feeling slightly better, working quickly to get rid of all the cracks and other damages.

  
“Lucio,” Satya calls to him, stopping suddenly.

  
Lucio looks up at her suspiciously.

  
“… I’m sorry for not believing in you. I am a fool,” Satya apologize reluctantly, slowly turning around to face him.

  
Lucio’s expression suddenly softens.

  
“I’m mentally challenged, as people say,” Satya suddenly added.

  
“Huh, no!” Lucio exclaims. Satya avoids Lucio’s eye contacts, starting to walk again although slowly.

  
“No, Satya. It’s – You’re brilliant. You are not stupid or – that. You just made a mistake,” Lucio shrug.

  
“Lucio, I trusted a man that was going to hurt someone and cause disorder… Actually, he already did. With your people. I am a fool for believing in him,” Satya explain bitterly.

  
“Everyone makes mistakes, don’t be so hard on yourself—you’re human too, you know,” Lucio gave the smallest smile.

  
Satya breaths out gently, nodding in agreement.

  
By then you came running towards them to catch up, Zenyatta floating behind. You look at the two in awe…. If only you are forgiven like Satya is. Well, if only everyone was this amicable.

  
“I’m sorry for scaring you. I don’t want another neurotypical saying those things about you,” you mumbled shyly, walking over to the two.

  
“I understand, you may have experienced the same thing I did,” Satya shrug.

  
“… Do you study a lot because you want to be capable? Like you only find validation based on how useful you are?” you asked, your sad eyes looking up at Satya.

  
“I…” Satya stopped, to let you get close to her.

  
“… I … I see myself in you. I saw how lonely you are. I saw my weaknesses, my fears, my symptoms. Projection is never a good idea, but I want to let you know that really, I get it. People only find worth in humanity if they are useful. And I was. Maybe *too* useful to the point of just being a puppet,” Satya cringes at the memories, trying to open herself up.

  
“You feel alone?” you ask quietly.

  
“… Very alone…” Satya mumbled, her eyes showing so much sorrow.

  
You lower your head, getting scared for yourself. This lady … How old is she? She is your future. You could have been her. You could have been just as naïve as she is. Just as lonesome as she is… You look up again and quickly noticed Satya started to cry. You froze, not knowing what to do. She rubbed her face, thinking that there might be hair in the way except, her brows furrowed when she felt liquid. Her head snap up, looking at her wet finger. She rubs her face and realize that her cheeks are getting drenched with tears.

  
“S-Satya,” you call to her. She turns and nod quietly.

  
“You’re more than just your education. You are more than just your talents. You are more than just your intelligence. You are you. You are important because you are alive, and there will never be another person like you,” you gave the tiniest smile, shyly looking up at Satya’s teary eyes.

  
“… I didn’t realize how much I wanted to hear those words,” Satya muttered, her voice distorted from her crying. She isn’t sure what to do – she starts to cry some more, sobbing softly. Her arms are bent forward, not knowing what to do. You cuddle your head on her torso, hugging her. This feels odd for Satya, yet so comforting.

  
She only left her village when she was small, wanting nothing more but to live in a better and orderly world. Now she is just … Confused. She is not sure what does order even mean anymore. Most of her philosophy was based on working for Vishkar. What’s going to happen to the company? What is going to happen to Vishkar? How … How can she fix her mistakes? Is there a way to? She is also responsible for all the people Vishkar must have hurt. Satya really don’t remember the last time she is this emotionally distressed.

  
Meanwhile you want to apologize for touching her but – you just allowed yourself to feel love for this human, holding her in your arms. You didn’t notice Lucio coming behind Satya to hug the two of you, Zenyatta joining in.

  
“Hey guys – I didn’t mean to interrupt but there are a few people upstairs… Also, Mccree’s group might need backup because they have way more people together,” Olivia notified the group.

* * *

  
After taking care of the science building, the group went out of the science building to join Mccree’s over at the athletics building. They must run quickly past the Overwatch security, with the help of Olivia, as to not get in trouble. The security already caught a few people that may have gotten scared off or been out in the open, making this task less difficult. They manage to get Maximilien first.

  
“Jesse – backup is coming, (y/n) will prepare the holes,” Olivia tells Jesse, who is busy beating up some goons with Hanzo and Baptiste.

  
“You are going to JAIL – P E R I O D!” Baptiste yells out, throwing Mr.Nguyen into a wormhole. The hole immediately closes while another one forms, receiving the people being thrown in.

  
Lucio kept booping people into holes while Satya incapacitate the problematic ones. You noticed that Zenyatta isn’t really around … Until you heard a distant robotic yell, coming closer—you quickly move out the way when a giant man sped through with Zenyatta stuck on his arm, being pinned by him. You yell after him, you form a hole to catch the guy – but he immediately stops right in front of him.

  
He catches Zenyatta by his collar before he fell into the hole. The giant turns around with Zenyatta in hand, his stature and smile menacing. You hissed at them, Baptiste quickly noticing that the main bad guy is here.

  
“… You again,” Baptiste squints, walking close to Mauga.

  
“Oh, hey buddy! Nice seeing you again!” Mauga cackles, still holding Zenyatta hostage.

  
“I have new friends,” Baptiste shrugged.

  
“What you mean? You can’t just keep outrunning us, especially since you know too much—” Mauga’s reply is cut short when he got slammed onto a wall next to him, making him let go of Zenyatta. He fell on the floor before being scooped up by you. You immediately brought him with Lucio so he can’t be by himself – you immediately ran towards Mauga to beat his ass just like Sanjay did, who is now pulling himself off the rubble. He quickly noticed a small human running after him with the wildest eyes.

  
“(Y/N)! Open the holes!” Jesse yells out.

  
You suddenly switch directions and ran into a wall, popping out a few meters away to help Jesse and Hanzo. Mauga took that as an opportunity to lunge himself towards the group of men. Baptiste hop out of the way but got through the ceiling wall. You try to make him run to a hole, so you formed one in front of him – but he stopped again!

  
“Oh, for fuck sakes!” you growled in frustration.

  
“You really think I’m just this dumb large brute? Pfff ha ha haaa!” Mauga laughs, pissing you off further.

Jesse and Hanzo runs after Mauga to start fist fight him. Even though Mauga is going against two nimble-bodied guys, he quickly attempts to smash them down. They avoid his fists long enough, but Hanzo eventually got distracted when Jess receives an uppercut. After he watch Jesse fall onto the floor, Hanzo is suddenly grabbed by the neck and smacked down on the ground. Mauga’s front armor makes a loud noise, pulling up guns. He was about to mow Jesse and Hanzo down, both Baptiste and you freaking out.

  
Then suddenly, like from the sky, someone flew downward in a flash. In one millisecond, Mauga’s armor shatters. The man hops and stands in front of Hanzo – it’s his younger brother Genji. He guards Hanzo while he lays on the floor, Jesse quickly coming over to hold him.

  
“Only person that can put their hand on my brother is me,” Genji pointed out.

  
Mauga chuckles under his breath, brushing away the bits and pieces of what was his armor.

  
“You think I _need_ this armor? I killed people with my bare hands,” his grin widening, stomping over as he towers over the three men – then he just froze. He didn’t move for a few seconds until he fell face-first onto the cold floor with a loud SLAM. Baptiste appeared into view after he fell, being behind him this whole time.

  
“… Where you get that from?” Jesse asks, eyeing Baptiste’s little gun thingy.

  
“Miss Amari introduced all healers to this,” Baptiste shrugged.

  
You quickly circled Mauga to make him fall into your void, quickly moving around to collect more prisoners.


	51. The Execution

“The door to uhh… The door to a dorm I was in suddenly opened. Olivia informed me on what is going on, so I ran over to help just in time,” Genji explained.

“Oh, she must have opened it for you,” Jesse smiled.

“I asked her to,” Zenyatta raise his hand up.

Yeahhh he asks me to let you go,” Olivia laughs, confirming Zenyatta.

Genji comes over to Zenyatta, giving him a soft hug.

You are still having the shivers from the scare Mauga gave everyone, but your powers are stable enough to keep making the holes.

The group went around emptying the building, checking for more rioters to catch.

“I don’t remember when was the last time I spoke to you,” Genji turns to his older brother.

“I was beating you up,” Hanzo squints back.

“N… No? Didn’t I say anything when the riots were happening?” Genji asks. You just remembered that – Genji, Hanzo, and Jesse was protecting you when you first confronted Reyes.

“I don’t recall,” Hanzo mumbled.

“… I already forgiven you, is there something else bothering you?” Genji ask some more with his usual soft tone, tilting his head a little.

Hanzo twitch a little. He’s not sure how to respond. Everyone else in the group can feel how awkward this whole thing, especially because Baptiste and Jesse knew how bad their fight went.

That fight happened like … Maybe like a month ago? It felt like it happened way later, but it’s recent. Like maybe just a few weeks ago recent. Then again, that was around the time you appeared in everyone’s lives.

You felt like you been here for months, but it’s only been one eventful month for you. You met some random dude and suddenly you two are madly in love. You met a bunch of strangers, expecting yourself to keep your distant, only to create close friends.... You will get hurt for them. You will sacrifice your values for them. You will – you will keep yourself intact for them. A lot of the things you will never do, like this misadventure, is done for them. You literally choose to go against these dangerous men for them. You don’t want to be the coward that you always were anymore. You suddenly realize you are not.

“(y/n)?”

You didn’t hear that. You stood there in the hallways, looking into space, processing the person you are becoming.

“You okay? You noticed something?”

You look up, the group leaving you behind. Olivia is the one asking for your well-being. You ran on to catch up, just in time to see Baptiste looking around.

“Oh good, there you are,” Baptiste laughs a little after locking eyes with you. You stood slightly behind, watching everyone’s back for anyone trying to flank them.

* * *

Jamison vaguely walks next to Mako, looking at his surroundings with genuine curiosity. He still doesn’t get most of his memories back while he didn’t notice why he felt safe with Mako. He just felt like he is supposed to be following him. Meanwhile Mako is slightly disturbed with how quiet Jamison is. Jamison usually is trying to bother him and state his mind _all_ the time. Mako always had his mask on at the time, so he barely ever responds back. This should have been a celebration for Mako, but …

“Akande is on the other side of the building; he is not alone,” Olivia informs the Junkers. Mako only grunts back. He turns a little to Jamison, as if about to ask him something. He decided not to. Jamison is not going to give any unique answers because of how little he knows now.

“… Let’s just wait,” Mako grumbled. He is worried for you – also he needs you for the wormholes. He is not sure for how long he must keep his adversaries at bay. This usually doesn’t stop him, but he can’t kill them or try to cause too much bodily harm. He can knock them out but who knows how many people must fight back.

Jamison and Mako stood at a corner where the restroom doors are. They are really exposed, but Olivia would let them know if someone is crawling out the corner. Jamison kept obeying Mako, sticking by his side quietly. He doesn’t feel like his boss at all. It’s more like Mako has a little kid following him around; Mako is the boss now.

* * *

You silently listen to everyone’s stories, getting a glimpse of everyone’s past. Satya and Lucio talk about their childhoods, although Satya got teary over it. Genji and Hanzo spoke to one another about family matters, wondering how disappointed their dad must be because they didn’t follow in their questionable footsteps. McCree and Baptiste talked about their history with the higher ups of the university, explaining that there have been conflicts rising because of moral differences. One side is more brute while another is righteous. One side wants justice while the other wants power. One side thinks that things should go like this with the other side thinks it should go like that. They slowly couldn’t decide on anything, until they just blew up at each-other. Miss Amari taught McCree how to aim when he was a teenager since she was an instructor when she was younger. Baptiste made a few bad choices in the past that lead him to hang out with the wrong crowd before he got out of it. Mauga is part of that crowd.

“After the Omnic Crisis, they quickly took advantage of the chaos and the victims of this event. I thought that I don’t have the choice on the matter, but I was just a dumb child. I was not man enough to understand that no matter the circumstances, I still have a choice on whether to do what is right or be part of the problem. I choose the former. They didn’t like that. All they wanted was power and money,” Baptiste stated.

The group walk over to the building where Mako and Jamison is waiting, but they had to phase through a bunch of walls to avoid security. Olivia is keeping tabs on the Junkers and the group. Jamison and Mako had to wait in the restroom to avoid being seen. Mako hid behind the wall right in front of the paper towels while Jamison sat in one of the closed stalls, just sitting on the toilet. Mako looks up quickly when he heard a weird noise – the group finally came, all trying to hold each-other’s hands so everyone can get through.

Mako looks around the crowd, surprised to see Genji again after not seeing in a while. He looks down just in time to see you emerge from behind everyone, holding onto Zenyatta and Baptiste’s hands.

His heart melted when he saw how your face brightens up the moment you look at him. You ran up to Mako’s open arms, hugging each-other tightly. You squeeze your cheek against his soft belly, Mako petting you and holding you. He then looks around, checking to see if there are any injuries on you for now. He noticed that the weird bruises on your neck is gone. Your hair is wilder than usual though.

“Oh! Where is James?” you asked, looking around.

Jamison sheepishly peers through the door, opening to see a bunch of people he knew. Mako pointed at him, letting you get back on the floor so you can go up to Jamison. You bump your head at his arm as a friendly gesture.

“Oh hey, are they going to help us?” Jamison asks in your ears.

You nodded a little, even though you didn’t really hear him well. You walk over to the group with Jamison. Everyone is hushing at one another because they are not sure if anyone is waiting outside.

Olivia finally talks to everyone about where the rest of the bad guys are and what to do to take down Akande. One half of the group is going to be busy catching the people accompanying Akande while the other half tires the main guy out. Satya, Lucio, Jamison, and Zenyatta volunteer to take care of the henchmens with your help. Mako will fight Akande with Baptiste, Genji, Jesse, and Hanzo. You must help Lucio’s group so they can throw the bad guys into the wormholes.

They quickly went to work, Satya setting her baby turrets and Lucio getting ready to boop people. Jamison wants to be a distraction, despite being so unsure on what to do. Zenyatta will watch over everyone but will throw his balls. You forget that he always has these massive balls with him, one being used as to encourage you or something. The men are coming to where they are; they appear to be in their way to where the university store supplies for the security people and for training. Some people got caught in Satya’s turrets, some got pushed by Lucio into the worm holes, some kicked away by Zenyatta into the hole… Everything seems to be going fine. Then a flash of blue light knocks everyone off their feet.

Akande appears way too soon. Jesse and Hanzo quickly try to fight him off but that thing on his arm … What is that? You just know immediately that it’s a weapon. Akande swing them away from him, quickly running towards you and your group. Mako quickly went in front of you, landing a punch right on Akande’s cheek before throwing more. You ran off to stay away from Akande as Baptiste try to land his tranquilizer on him.

Jesse and Hanzo quickly got up so they can help your group. All Mako and Baptiste need to do is get him distracted enough so Baptiste can shoot him, but this man is so fidgety and fast. You are trying to focus on creating holes, already catching most of the bad guys. You really don’t want the worry to mess with your powers like it always did. You put your trust on Mako to stay put. Mako is not afraid to get close to Akande, taking the punches well – but then he is flown up by the force of his punch before receiving *the* rocket punch. His huge body slams against the walls. Baptiste shoots the dart but misses Akande. Cursing under his breath, Baptiste runs over to the group as to make him run into the holes accidentally.

Akande rush towards Baptiste, right at your direction. Right when Baptiste dodges, he quickly noticed you are right in front of Akande’s fist. Jamison quickly jumps in front of you. Akande, in a flash, swing his arm right at Jamison. In shock, Jamison flew up in the air – he couldn’t scream because their air got knocked out of him. He slams into the wall before sliding rapidly onto the ground.You gasped, the seconds passing by so slowly as you wait for Jamison to move. Akande is not stopping his attacks, coming over to you.

... You whip around with nothing in your eyes, the walls shatters around you. Akande is suddenly dragged downward before being slammed into the ceiling. He looks around confused, not sure who is pulling him around. He couldn’t see what is going on because now you are going berserk, even pulling rocks out of nothing to aim at him.

Mako looks up a little, blinking and seeing your arms outstretched forwards. The floor is shattered while the walls are just metal beams and pink fluff. He noticed something about your eyes – it looks like your eyes are gone… Wait, he squints and saw hints of red. Are you bleeding? Mako struggled a little as he gets up, feeling sore around his rib cage and waist.  
You kept slamming Akande around, just like how you went off on Sanjay. Only difference is Akande have enough force to move slightly away with his large fist. You didn’t notice he is getting closer and closer to you while you do the same, slowly walking up with raised shoulders. You are busy trying to bruise him up as much as you could, even though with the amount of rocks you are throwing – it looks like you are trying to stone him.

Jamison slowly got up, muttering a “hooley dooley” while struggling to get up. He looks up and immediately saw you and Akande. Something snaps when Akande quickly got enough charge to pull himself right at you, slamming you against the floor.

You screamed in shock with how fast his movements are. Akande stares right at you – only to see how feral you are with your stare. Your sclera is pitch black, only a small red circle is seen on the void. The noises coming out your mouth is a weird mix of hissing and rattling. You managed not to get your ribs crushed because you got most of your body clipping through the floor, but he thought he might have destroyed your internals. Akande was going to smash your head in with his other hand – but then Jamison jumps him, grabbing around his neck with his skinny arms.

“HOW FUCKING _DARE_ YOU HURT MY BEST FRIEND?! YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD IF I GOT ME BOMBS AND SHIT, YOU ARE _FUCKING_ D O N E!!” Jamison screams wildly, freaking Akande out. Jamison was just so passive before. They both tumbled to the ground, giving you space to get out of the floor. You ran reluctantly towards the two struggling men but stopped – you are not sure what to do. Akande overpowers Jamison because he is a huge guy, ready to crush him with his metal fists until he got punched in the face by Mako. He immediately got knocked out cold.

“Go on, ask me what the other one says,” Mako growls, expecting Akande to get up.

You quickly ran up to Jamison. You two touch and observe one another for injuries.

“You okay?” Jamison and you asked.

“… Hey, you’re back...?” your smile starts to creep up.

“Back? From where? And why was that big log hurting you?! I’m going to commit homicid—” Jamison tries to get up so he can try strangling the guy again. You quickly got up to drag Akande onto your wormhole jail with the other guys.

“Hey! Let me at ‘em!” Jamison exclaims, pouting as he is held back by Baptiste. You quickly ran back to Jamison before you start bawling into his chest.

“Wh – y/n? Why are you crying??” Jamison asks, confused as to why you are being off.

“Jamison,” Mako calls to him. Jamison looks back at him.

“What’s going on? What happened?” Jamison asks.

“Now is not the time to explain, we got to get the other guys,” Mako frowns, turning around to get to the other guys.

“Jamison – Mei and I were BAWLING because you got amnesia for 48 hours. You couldn’t remember anything, and you wouldn’t talk and hhuuuuuaaaaa..” you explained quickly, still tearing up from having your best friend back. Jamison pats your head and holds your shoulder, comforting you.

“I – I have no idea. Let’s go follow Roadie here, not sure what guys we are coming after but if they lay a finger on you – they are DEAD,” Jamison scowls, leading you two behind Mako.

While the official Overwatch security takes care of half of the assailants, your group managed to get the other half. Olivia gave a heads up that everyone else is caught. Everyone gave out a sigh of relief. Some of them got bruised up because they got physically involved more. Everyone quickly when back to Mako’s dorm before they get caught by the security people. The moment the last person passes through the door, everyone cheered. They hugged one another, not believing that they went through the whole ordeal that could have costed their lives. It’s already late at night, but everyone is too restless. Satya didn’t come back to her dorm; she stays over with Genji and Sombra over at Mako’s dorm. Olivia meanwhile got everything livestreaming to keep everyone informed on what the university is doing. It also gives you an idea on where to land all the bad guys on. 

A wormhole appears outside where most of the Overwatch security is. All the bad guys tumbled down onto the grass right in front of them, some still awake while others are groggy. The security team and the cops jumped in shock, quickly recognizing them as the ones seen in the cameras. They immediately point their weapons at them and demand to surrender.


	52. Chapter 52

Everyone laughs and cheered as they watch the bad guys get caught by the Overwatch security. You couldn’t watch that because you have an extreme case of feeling second-hand embarrassment. Yeah they were going to do horrible stuff, but you couldn’t help but pity them. You walk over to Mako’s room. Mako looks up quickly as he puts his boxers up– you squint your eyes, trying to pretend you didn’t see anything while you climb over to Jamison’s bed.

Mako blushed… Even though you already did something intimate with him…? He shook his head, feeling a pang of guilt still even though you repeatedly told him that you are not offended by what happened. He comes over to his bed and lay on his side.

Mako forgets that you are still a human being. You have emotions, you have flaws, you are capable of anything, and you can be unpredictable. You thought of everyone to be this way, but you barely think about this intimate detail.

Maybe all the pent-up anger from being pushed around is suddenly put into use. Mako turns to lay on his back, his mind wondering about what would have happened if you were not teleported into the university. What would have become of you if he was not there. Or worse … What if he met you when he was Roadhog? Would you have been violent by then? Would you suddenly start protecting him but slowly rub off on his pessimistic attitude? From what he knows, nobody has been killed yesterday. You choose not to. Would you have been able to kill if Roadhog was with you instead of Mako?

Mako jolts up a little when the voice rose sharply in volume, probably because they saw how one criminal is trying to run away only to get tackled on. Mako grunts in annoyance, turning to his side again.

“… (y/n),” Mako called for you.

No response.

“(y/n),” Mako said a little louder.

Still no response.

Mako force himself to get up, looking up to see why you couldn’t hear him. You had headphones on, but you have your eyes closed with your mouth slightly open. He can hear some music coming out of your headphones. He places his rough hand on your hip, nudging you. You jolt a little with an eep.

“S-Sorry,” Mako mumbles. You took of your headphones and looks at him, stirring up.

“Yeah? What… Yeah what’s wrong?” you asked sheepishly, flinging your legs over on the edge.

“Nothing … It’s too loud,” Mako grumbles.

“Y e s,” you grimaced. You noticed that … Wait when was the last time you ate? You look down at Mako.

“Hey … I haven’t eaten in eight hours,” you calculated.

“What?” Mako frowns.

“I can bring in food from my void, it’s cool. I’m going to bring food for everyone too, hold on,” you lift yourself over to go down.

Mako grabs you, putting you on the floor. You ran off into where the loud people are, asking them if they want pizza. Then that is how you end up getting like ten boxes of pizza. You brought two over to Mako’s room so you two can eat together. Mako never got out there while you were getting food for the group. He turns and saw just as you close the door behind you, struggling with your arm to hold the boxes. You quickly stretch your arm out to place the boxes right on the small couch. You then turn around, as if looking through a bag. You pull out a pair of headphones, coming over to Mako to give it to him.

“It’s noise-cancelling,” you gave a shy smile, presenting him the gift.

“Thank you,” Mako grins, receiving your gift.

“We can – we can watch something. They are Bluetooth so hopefully we can hear through the headphones,” you explained, looking over at the TV.

Mako comes over, slowly figuring out whether that is possible while you quickly search online how to do so on your phone. Eventually they set it up, going ahead and watched an old movie – like this movie is old old, especially for Mako. It’s Hitchcock’s _Psycho_ ; You never watched it, but you remember your professor constantly gush about the cinematography. You two chew your pizza slices silently. You are glad Mako has his headphones on because you forgot you have a habit of cursing fictional characters out or asking specific questions. He would have strangled you probably or – wait that doesn’t sound too bad. Wait no, you don’t like making people angry though. It’s a huge fear of yours to annoy people so uhh…

“… Where… What. Where is the blood? I don’t see anything??” you squint, watching that shower scene for the millionth time because again, your professors *loved* this scene so much.

Mako peers over and noticed that you ate 7 slices of pizza by yourself. He doesn’t remember ever seeing you eat this much. It amuses him. Only one and a half-eaten one is left while Mako already ate his whole box. You are eating your pizza slice slowly, but he can tell that you are getting too full.

He taps you slightly.

“Yeah?” you ask, pulling your headphones out.

“You don’t have to force yourself. I can eat the last slice,” Mako assures you.

“Yeah sure, if you’re cool with it,” you nodded, putting your headphones back on.

He proceeds to reach over and take your last slice, placing it on his box. You two didn’t hear Jamison come in, closing the door behind him and getting up on his bunk. He also ate too many slices, feeling stuffed. Baptiste sat in the living room with Olivia, watching her do her techno shenanigans while he let Genji sleep on his bed over in Zenyatta’s room. Satya managed to create a small bed for herself next to the couch, sleeping in the living room after hiding in Lucio’s room to avoid the noises. You two went on to watch another movie as everyone went to sleep. Mako noticed your body would jerk at random times, as if trying to stay awake. Then at some point he felt that your body is so still. He turns and saw your head lulled to the side, drooling slightly. Mako smiled, seeing how silly you look in that state. He wipes off the drool with a napkin, picking you up to place you on his bed and tuck you in. He took your shoes off but is too … Hesitant to take anything else off you. You seem fine.

He walked out of his room with the empty boxes of pizza, going to the kitchen to place them with the rest of the boxes. He walks over and saw Olivia still awake, looking at her purple transparent screen.

“Raincheck?” Mako asks.

“They got everyone, now they are checking around the cameras and campus. The lockdown should be over at least by morning,” Olivia informs Mako before letting out a big yawn.

“You can sleep in Lucio’s room,” Mako points out.

“No no I’m good … Oh shit wait … What happened to Gabe?” Olivia jumps a little.

“…”

“We been busy with this whole mission that I completely forgot about him. Why he never appeared?” Olivia furrow her brows, quickly opening more windows up.

“He tried to attack them again actually, just earlier,” Mako squeeze his upper nose, his fingers gliding up to rub his front temple.

“W h a t?” Olivia’s eyes widen in shock.

“They didn’t tell you what happened?” Mako looks over at Olivia.

“No!” Olivia shook her head.

“He’s _been_ trying to kill them. He chased after us yesterday when we went out to eat. I forgot when it happened, but he strangled them days before when they went out to visit Moira,” Mako explained.

“Oh geez,” Olivia frowns, looking down at her screen to look up the cameras.

“Jamison told me what happened because he attacked them both, but when we found them – they said Siebren _took Reyes_ ,” Mako quotes you.

“Took him? Where?” Olivia peers over at Mako.

He shrugs.

* * *

You find yourself up against Siebren’s broad chest.

“I’ll stay here, focusing on that one possibility that there is a universe where…” Siebren looks up at the infinite dark sky.

“There is, there is ….” You whispered.

“I’m in this world because somehow you needed me to be there for something. I understand what you need to understand. Imprisonment … It’s all an illusion,” he kept murmuring, his head up high.

You kept sobbing on his shirt, being comforted by him.

“Now go, little one, I’ll stay here. It’s better than being in a cold hospital room,” he smiled softly.

“Are you going to come back?” you asked softly.

“My job in this world is done, my lieveling,” he nodded, looking down at you.

“What do you mean?? I can hop out of my void with no problem. I’m sure you have the experience to,” you squint at his eyes.

“No, you don’t understand … I … I’m old; also, they might get too scared of me after what I done, so I must leave. I’ll go meet up with myself in another world, maybe see another version of you,”

Siebren chuckles.

You two are currently floating, looking at the array of stars and colored gas throughout the canvas called the universe. You two should be dying from the vacuum, but you two are completely fine.

“You must go, if they find out your true nature – they might come after you too,” he warns you, holding you against him.

“My nature? But they know of my powers,” you mumbled, trying to remember your real memories.

“They are scared. The humans. They are scared,” Siebren murmurs.

“I know that all too well, why do you think they hate?” you proclaimed.

You woke up, your eyes opening in a daze. You got up, realizing that you are on Mako’s bed. It’s still too early, but you noticed that the windows are not shut in anymore. The weird light that is there right before dawn is shining through the blinds. You got up slowly, feeling so out of it. Everything that happened the past few days are too much of a blur. You can’t remember the order, the dates, the events, the order of the events … Where is Mako?

You only remember sitting next to him while watching a movie. You walk over to the door, opening it to see Olivia slouched over on the bottom of the couch while Baptiste sleeps on it.

You close the door, turning only to mentally slap yourself for not noticing the large mass right on the small couch next to the door. Mako was dozing off only to notice you walking around. You didn’t say anything. You stare at his head, too dark to read his face. You walk over to Mako’s bed to go to sleep again. Your eyes, half-lidded, peer at the dimly lit window. You thought about what you just dreamt.

_If they find out your true nature – they might come after you too_

Who are “they”? The “evil crowd”? The university? The government? Who will come after you?You’re not sure how legit it is, but it’s so … Creepily specific the things Siebren said, especially because it’s so oddly detailed. Like how he knew he is not going to come back, and he knew you have questions about it. Apparently he is going to travel to another dimension or multiverse, maybe meet a version of you that is more of a jerk. Or more of a coward. You are not sure, especially because they are just dreams.

“… Thank you,” you said in the quietest way possible. It sounded like a small wind.

You mentally said that you will miss Siebren, as to not freak anyone out with the sudden comments you would make. Siebren got rid of a monster for you and the whole campus. Imagine how horrible things would have turned out if someone like _that_ was one of the assailants. You didn’t want to think about it. You turn to your side… Then you heard Mako get up. You whip around to see his large shadow coming closer. He looms over you silently. You stir up, sticking your arms out to him. You couldn’t see his sweet smile creeping in, his cheeks tint with red. He slouches over, letting you hug around his neck.

“Sleep with me,” you whispered.

“Hmm?” Mako tilt his head slightly.

“Like … Cuddle with me,” you specified, blushing slightly with how your previous statement sounded.

Mako nodded, climbing up to his bed. You got caged between his muscular arms, humming quietly while you expose your neck and lower torso. He blushes, gently picking you up to lay against his side. You snuggle up to his tummy, squirming slightly from how excited you are to be this close to him. Mako can feel his heart beating in his chest, his worries melting.

“I’m not a coward anymore,” you stated softly.

“You never were,” Mako replied.

“No like – I’m getting better at controlling my anxiety, like I didn’t panic when you were getting beat up – wait, are you hurt anywhere?” you froze, remembering how hurt he was.

“I’m fine. I been through worse,” Mako shrug. Then again, he was sore until he spent a lot of time with you. Something about you … He forgot how good it feels to be near you. Your presence would feel so comforting and healing, most likely helping him not be as badly sore. He decided to tell you that.

“Wat?”

“Being with you makes me feel like I’m being healed, like I’m taking a hit of the yellow stuff,” Mako explained, albeit awkwardly.

“Yellow stuff?” you ask softly.

“It’s… Basically, you heal me. Somehow. You make me feel safe. You make me feel so good,” Mako droned on.

“I’m glad,” you pat his tummy, your eyes looking up at him.

You two lay there silently. You hear his gentle yet shallow breaths. You usually hate feeling this squished, but you are so happy to be with him. This is something you daydream about all the time. You want him to go ahead and place his warm hands on you, just anywhere is fine. You feel happy because you accepted the fact that he loves you.


	53. I'm Not Really Your Daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the whole raiding shenanigans

It’s the weekend, so everyone just stays inside talking about what happened yesterday. Satya went back to her dorm to study because she can’t handle that much socialization while Genji went back to his.

Mei however came to visit. She’s really happy to see Jamison is back to his usual self, even though he is not sure what to do when Mei suddenly cried all over his chest. Everything seem to be back to normal. It’s announced that all the assailants are caught, and the lockdown is over. While Mei and Jamison talk to one another in the living room, Mako stay in his room while you showered.

Mako naps on his bed, still tired from sleeping so late. There isn’t as much noise anymore, thankfully. He opens his eyes slightly, seeing you in front of the bathroom furiously rubbing your towel over your hair. You walk over to Mako – only to turn and climb up to the top bunk. He went back to sleep, not noticing that Jamison and Mei stopped talking.

A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. You quickly hop out of the top bunk, coming over to open the door. You look up to see white mop of hair. It’s Mr. Morrison. Jack Morrison. You step away slightly

“H – H allo,” you wave a little.

Jack smiled softly, coming into the room and coming closer to you. You forgot how tall he is, even though Mako is taller.

“May I?” Jack asks, his hands slightly raised as if wanting to receive something.

“You want to check my neck again?” you tilt your head.

“Yes, that,” he nodded.

“Oh sure,” you nodded, coming over to let him hold your jawlines. He gently holds your face, tilting your head slightly to check at your neck. The bruises are gone, surprising Jack a little since it usually takes longer. It’s as if nothing has been there.

Mako got alarmed when he heard a man’s voice, stirring up to see … Jack Morrison?? He stares at the old man, confused as to why someone important like him suddenly showed up in his dorm of all places. Isn’t he close to other folks like …? Maybe Lena or Ziegler? Or is he visiting McCree?

“Are you alright? Did anything happen to you yesterday?” Jack asks, giving you a worried look with a smile. Jack turns slightly when he noticed Mako getting up from his bed.

“Oh hey,” Jack greeted him briefly, quickly looking back at your neck.

“Uuuhh…” You debated whether to tell him everything or pretend everything is fine, but you made a vow to yourself not to keep secrets or tell lies anymore. This is difficult, but Jack already knows about your situation and has been very – unfairly lenient on you. You expect people to get angry because disorder or excuses are not tolerated, but he just kept being so nice to you that it makes you feel guilty.

“Did something happen? Did you saw Reyes again?” Jack asks out of the blue. Mako whips around, staring down at you two. You didn’t respond right away though.

“He … I didn’t want to scare you, but he wasn’t one of the assailants taken into custody,” Jack hesitantly announced.

“Oh … Siebren took him,” you said.

“Huh?”

“Yeah he made a large black hole, that’s why this one area is a mess,” you explained, pointing at the direction of where it happened.

“Siebren threw Reyes into the black hole?” Jack asks, his confused eyes staring back at yours.

“Yeah, I don’t know if he is going to show up again,” you shrug, your heart getting a small stung remembering what you dreamt last night.

“So you did saw Reyes again?” Jack specifies. He is noticing how nervous you are, even though you are always this way.

“He attacked them when they were walking with Jamison,” Mako suddenly comments.

Jack turns around, blinking.

“Reyes also ran after us when we went out to eat two days ago, over downtown,” Mako added.

You pick at your nails, not looking up at these two males.

“I don’t know why they seem hesitant to explain everything, but yeah he did try to hurt them more than once for the past few days,” Mako sigh tiredly. Jack nodded slightly, before looking back at you.

“(y/n), you can trust me … Is what he said true? He tried to attack the both of you downtown?” Jack asks.

You nodded, only looking up for half a second.

“Okay, I just want to check up on you because of what happened last night,” Jack assures you. You nodded some more… Then you realize you are acting like a child. Annoyed at yourself, you look up at him to hold eye contact.

“Y… Yes. I’m not even scared … I’m not scared. I’m fine. I don’t think he is coming back. I don’t know what happened to Siebren though,” you peer to the side a little.

“Dr. De Kuiper?” Jack specified.

“Yeah Siebren. He went into the black hole he made and just disappeared. I don’t know if he is coming back … This sounds so weird but … I dreamt that he visited me, only to tell me that he can’t come back because he will get in trouble after what he did. He is also scared that something that happened to him might happen to me..?” you explained the dream, watching at Jack’s changes in expressions.

“What’s going to happen to you?” Jack asks.

“They will take me away. I don’t know if he is referring to when he got into government custody or uhh… I don’t know. Am I going to be put in custody because of my space-time … Thingy?” you furrow your brows, confused on what he could be talking about. You didn’t notice Mako nervously fidgeting in one place after what you said. It’s been something that’s been in the back of Mako and Jamison’s mind.

“I doubt so … Dr. De Kuiper was in that situation because he was not mentally sound at the time. You seem just fine, at least to me,” Jack stated.

Mako doubted Jack’s words, getting slightly worried that maybe the dream is a warning.

“Besides, you _did_ do some heroic stuff with those powers yesterday,” Jack grins.

Mako and you immediately look straight at Jack in shock. He chuckles at the reaction.

“You people think I wouldn’t know? I was watching the cameras, I actually helped not get you and your friends caught by security,” Jack amusedly revealed.

“I … Yeah! I have to because! … I didn’t want to be a coward anymore. I didn’t want to be lazy and scared and constantly protected, I have to. I didn’t even do this because I want people to like me. I don’t care whether everyone finds out or not. I did it because it’s everyone’s responsibility to do the right thing,” you explain.

“Well, you got my attention at least,” Jack smiled, proceeding to pet you. This earns a happy expression on your face. Mako would have been slightly annoyed but … He wasn’t. He is happy to see people be nice to you for once instead of trying to kill you.

Jack comes over to the living room, calling for everyone’s attention as if he is a drill sergeant. Everyone came out of their rooms, surprised that Jack is calling to them.

“I know what you all been up to yesterday,” Jack stated. The guys got slightly nervous, not sure if they are going to be in big trouble for this. Only you and Mako seem more relaxed.

“I personally come here to propose to you all an offer; Overwatch was only an international task force before converting into a full-on academy and university. Our security system is always happy to have more heroes working with them, so I’m here to invite you all to join us,” Jack announces.

Surprised, the guys look around in disbelief. They are not in trouble?

“Y’all don’t know what this means, but basically Genji and I used to be part of that task force when we were teenagers. The Overwatch security is basically that. They do military operations, raids, and other cool stuff,” Jesse explain, to appeal more to the people.

Jamison and Mako barely knows about the task force part, but they vaguely knew that they are rescued by them.

“I forgot you two were part of it at some point,” Jack chuckles.

“Yeah it’s something I can’t forget,” Jesse shrugs.

“I’ll leave the invitations over to you then, if anyone is interested,” Jack said, pulling out a hand full of envelopes and giving it to Jesse so he can keep it safe.

“I have to go through more errands, but you all have a safe weekend,” Jack smiled, waving a goodbye before leaving their dorm room.

Nobody moved an inch … Until a bunch of the guys suddenly gang up on Jesse.

“Lemme see! What I get?” Jamison asks excitedly.

“Is it really a legit invitation?” Lucio looks at the envelopes curiously.

“This doesn’t sound too bad!” Baptiste shrugs.

“Alright! Alright fellas settle down,” Jesse waved his hand around. When everyone stood still, Jesse looks over at the envelopes. He said some names, giving the envelopes to whoever’s name is called.

Jamison happily takes it, even though he has no memory of what happened yesterday besides suddenly getting his personality back. Lucio, Zenyatta, Baptiste, then Mako takes the envelopes. The only one left is yours, which is heavier than the rest. Mako took yours with him so he can give it to you. You were in his room because you want to avoid people, only accompanied by an excited Jamison.

Mako closes the door behind, giving the envelope to you.

“Oh…” you look at it in awe. You feel like you really didn’t do much. You are not sure if you are even tough enough. Aren’t you supposed to be like Arnold Schwarzenegger to get into these things? Is it like the NAVY seals? Or it’s not always about fighting?

You opened the envelope, pulling out the folded sheet of paper. You skim through it, only giving you this generic thing universities usually give to people that got accepted somewhere. You rummage through the envelope since you noticed how weirdly heavy it is, only to pull out a small metal plate with the overwatch insignia on it. It’s the size of your palm. You rummage through it again, then it also pulls out another paper. You pull out a bunch of other sheets, the front of the packet having a large 1 on it. You look through it, slightly confused … Oh. Wait.

“Ooh shinyyy…” Jamison grins happily, looking at the medal thingy he got. Mako looks over to you, quickly noticing you have more papers than them. You are squinting at it, reading through the packets. Mako walks closer to you. He noticed you shivering. You quickly look up, not hesitating to give him the bunch of papers you got. Mako receives it, looking at it only to realize what it is.

They are adoption papers.

Mako skims through, confused on who are you being adopted by. He saw Jack Morrison’s signature on it. The only empty signature space is for you to sign. He looks over to you. You were busy staring at Mako’s face.

“Jack wants to adopt you,” Mako informs you. Your eyes widen in surprise.

“Wait wat,” Jamison asks, quickly hearing what Mako said.

“… But he barely knows me? Is it true?” you ask, not believing that is the case.

Mako shrugs. He’s not sure how that whole thing works, especially since you are an adult.

“I’ll – I’ll ask him later,” you squint, shoving the papers back in the envelope.

“… Wait where is Mei?” you ask, looking up at Jamison.

“Oh she left when Jack came in, she felt like she is invading into something important …. Also she forgot she have midterms next week,” Jamison shrugs.

You shrug, coming up to Jamison’s bunk to hang around with your friend while Mako can go back to taking his nap.

* * *

You end up visiting him at some point in the evening, running through walls and possibly breaking a bunch of rules to reach his office. You landed right on the familiar blue carpet, looking up at the desk to see Jack reading some papers.

“S-Sir..?” you call to him shyly.

Jack’s head quickly look up, but his expression soften when he saw you.

“Ah, (y/n),” Jack beams.

“I – I ran through the walls. I can leave you alone if you are really busy right now,” you said, scratching your head.

“Oh no worries, how can I help you?” Jack asks softly.

“There’s been a mixed up or something..? I don’t know, it was randomly shoved in there,” you mumbled, coming up to give him the adoption papers.

“A mix-up?” Jack asks, peering over at the papers.

“Yeah this,” you show him the papers.

“Oh … They are adoption papers,” Jack noted.

“Really? Yeah here it is,” you push the papers towards his chest.

“Oh you – eheh I’m not your father but … Yeah I put it there. It’s for you,” Jack smiled, laughing a little. You blinked.

“… This is for me?” you ask sheepishly.

“Yes, it’s for you.”

“… You want to adopt me?”

“Yeah, if you want.”

“But I’m … I’m over 18,”

“It’s possible to adopt other adults.”

“R-Really?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going to control my bank account and stuff?”

“Wh… No? That’s invasive.”

“So you just – want me to be your kid? Officially?”

“Yeah.”

… You look over at the papers, then over to him.

“W-Why me? You barely got to know me and – do you trust me enough?” you ask.

“This is going to sound off but … Yeah, I talked to Ana about it since you don’t have any parents or anyone around to look out for you. It is out of the blue since yeah I only spoke to you a few times, but I do want to be there for you,” Jack smiled kindly. You look at the papers for a few seconds, but it felt like minutes passed. You suddenly come over to hug him, snuggling your head into his chest while he quickly wraps his arms around you. He heard you muffled out something.

“What you say?” Jack laughs a little.

“Yeah sure! You can adopt me fam,” you specified, laughing along.

Jack pats your back, letting go of you the moment you want to back off.

“I don’t get it – why are you being so nice??” you ask while rubbing your eyes.

“I may be busy all the time, but I want you to be sure that there will always be someone there to watch over you.... I don't want you to feel alone anymore," Jack admitted. 


	54. Yes this is pern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes pern it's pern because apparently you never busted a nut idk so yeah nsfw chapter

You come back to Mako’s dorm, rubbing your face. Mako is still laying down on his bed, only listening to the TV while Jamison is busy napping on his top bunk. He noticed you, sitting on the couch to snuggle on there.

“… Hey.”

You look up at Mako.

“What did he say?” Mako asks tiredly. It made your skin flutter hearing his deep voice.

“I’m Jack’s kid now,” you announced casually, turning to the TV.

Mako stirred up. Did Jack legit wanted to adopt you?

“W… Did he explain why?” Mako asks.

“He said he doesn’t want me to be alone, so it’s like a way to protect me in a government level. For some reason he cares for me,” you shrug.

“Are you okay with it?” Mako ask some more, surprised at how sudden it was. He felt slightly jealous because a bunch of guys been trying to touch you, at least it looks that way in his eyes – wait, he just remembered Jack Morrison is gay. It’s not a huge deal like back in your days, but people randomly know he is part of the LGBT+. Maybe he is relating to you or wants you to feel accepted? Especially since not everything is perfect around that time?

“Yeah, he did help me out with so much. Also, it would nice to have someone walk me down the aisle to you,” you blushed as you say these words.

All Mako’s through-processes stopped. Walk you down the aisle..? As if, marriage? You want to marry him? You are not intimidated by that idea? He watched your face go pink, but it’s because you got nervous about his reaction. You met so many people that are deathly afraid of commitment that it’s just pathetic. Nobody wants to love anyone anymore because they are too selfish and cowardly to. Also they are so insecure that they have to demand attention from e v e r y o n e. Dumb af. Your face turn into a scowl, remembering how stupid people are, especially with this subject that holds dear in your heart. You didn’t even notice Mako getting close to you, his loud footsteps stopping when he got right in front of you. You quickly look up sheepishly, worried that Mako might – he quickly picks you up, placing kisses on your cheeks and jaw. You giggled shyly, struggling to contain your composure.

“You’re not scared?” you ask shyly.

“Scared of what?” Mako opens his eyes slightly, placing kisses on your neck this time.

“Of marriage?” you ask, a lot quieter.

“No, why should I?” Mako smiled a little.

“Because you can’t … Freely have sex with other people anymore?? I don’t know..,” you laugh a little.

Mako looks straight into your eyes.

“Why would I if no one else is you?” Mako asks. You just shrug. You have such low expectations that you been expecting bad stuff to happen this whole time, especially since you would notice how different both of you two are. But the both of you have a lot in common, you just didn’t really notice.

“Speaking of …. N – Nevermind,” Mako blushed, placing back on the couch. You look up at him curiously as he puts you down the couch.

“Have you been horny lately??”

Mako coughs, really surprised at how sudden you asked him.

“Uh … I been – I been too worried for you,” Mako chuckles nervously.

You nodded and shrugged, turning back to the TV.

“… What about you?” Mako suddenly asks.

“I … Honestly, my … Because of how much stress I been under, my libido has gotten to an all-time low. It gotten to the point where I got too grossed out to do anything to myself,” you admitted.

Mako looks over to you. He is not sure what situation made you that way, maybe because of that piece of shit that pressured you into giving him your virginity. He remembers how you called yourself a prostitute basically. It pains him to know that.

“But then – it flared up slightly when I met you. I was completely okay doing anything with you. I gotten less scared of my own body when I started loving you. I was so scared because I thought my body doesn’t belong to me after all that has happened to me. It felt so foreign and gross and just … I don’t know. But I wish… I… I’m just … I’m fine. It’s still slightly low right now, but even the sound of your voice relaxes me,” you look over at him, giggling out the last few words.

Mako picks up your hands, lowering himself to be on the same eye levels.

“Is there something I can do to make you feel better?” Mako asks softly.

You look up into space, wondering. You always want the other person to make these kinds of decisions. You are always following other people, letting them push you around, tell you their preference – then you do whatever they want to make them feel good…. Your eyes shot up, realizing something so dumb yet pretty tragic.

“What’s wrong?” Mako frowns a little, seeing your dilated pupils looking back at him. Then you look down, blushing severely.

“… I don’t remember… I… I don’t climax.,?”

“Huh?”

“I never really cummed before. I didn’t really know that’s possible until I turned 18,” you pouted, looking to the side. You did like … Cum before? But it’s not even like OMG SO GOOD OWO cumming, like either you are too lazy to do anything about your horniness or something is really wrong with you.

… Mako grabs you, picking you up to bring you over to the bathroom. You cling to him, not alarmed at all. He suddenly stops, placing you back on your feet.

“I … Do you uh…” Mako blushed, scratching the back of his head. You tilt your head.

“Do you want me to make you cum?” Mako look straight into your eyes.

“O h. I . How,” you stutter – this is so dumb you sucked this man’s huge cock before why you BOTH suddenly SHY—

“I – I might fail I don’t know but that’s why I took you over here because there are guys out,” Mako whispered to you.

“O – oh. Uh… I sucked your huge cock before why am I being SO SHY ABOUT IT HHH,” you covered your face, shaking while giggling softly.

“No no it’s fine! You don’t have to say yes, I can survive,” Mako wheezes.

“NO FUCK MEeeeeee tuck me to bed maybe, you can take a shower while I do so in the morning,” you drone on loudly, so Lucio doesn’t notice anything weird – even though he has his headphones on

24/7.

“No?” Mako asks. You look around – then he noticed you closing the doors to not let anyone in.

“Y e s. Go ahead and rearrange my guts or something, I don’t know what you are doing,” you shook your head – then push your temple against his stummy. Mako chuckles, even though he is slightly unsure if you are okay with this or you are doing this to make him happy.

“Y-you sure?” Mako asks shyly.

You suddenly start pulling your shirt up and putting your shorts down with your underwear, doing it so quickly that it throws Mako slightly off. His cheek grew hot, looking at your fully nude form. He looks on, even when you turn your back on him to turn on the shower.

“Can you feel the water…? I have a habit of showering in waters the same temperature as lava,” you ask, feeling the water warming up. You turn around when he hasn’t answered right away, freezing when you saw him naked. This is the first time seeing him without clothing. You try to keep your eyes glued to his face, not looking down to see his dick hardening.

“Hmm? Yeah sure,” Mako quickly replied, coming over to feel the water. You prefer to be boiling in there, but you can survive a lukewarm shower – especially with how weird this whole thing is going.

You come over to the shower first, just standing there to feel the water more. Then Mako steps in, immediately getting drenched by the shower head. He moves away from the water, accidentally squeezing onto you. He turns a little to fumble with the water temperature before turning back to you. He quickly noticed you hugging him tightly, realizing that his cock is right between your legs. It usually pokes at your tummy, but the tip of it is lowered there to press onto your folds.

You squeak when he grabs you, picking you up from the ground to place you on the wall behind you. He gently squeezes the tip of his manhood right on your hole, earning more squeaks out of you. Mako shivers, slowly entering into you up to the hilt. He gave out a shaky sigh. He is surprised at how insanely tight you are – he is definitely not going to fuck any other person if he has you. You cling to him while he thrust in, throbbing around him unintentionally. Mako suddenly spun you around, pushing into you once again to start moving his hips.

You quickly start moaning to each thrust, louder than expected. You didn’t notice how you sound because you are busy feeling him. Mako clench his teeth, holding your thighs as he snaps his hips up. You try to cover your noises with one hand, squeezing your eyes shut. Mako pick up his speed, getting distracted with how good you feel. His thumb rubs circles on your thigh, proceeding to start smooching your neck. You are squirming around wildly, your voice not lowering down.

Mako suddenly remembers that – oh yeah he was trying to help you cum, not ... Mako carefully lower himself to place you on your hands and knees, except you got too low on the ground to arch your butt up. Mako huffs, pulling you right against his crotch to rub himself against your wet folds.

“Touch –”

“H-huh?”

“Play with my breasts,” you said, shyly.

Mako thrusts himself back in, his hands sliding over to your soft tits. He quickly starts teasing your nipples, making you squeeze around his cock. His breathing hitches, his hand sliding over to rub your clit gently while his other hand mess with your chest area. Mako is lowkey struggling to keep his sanity, not wanting to start slamming into you when he is trying to make you reach to an orgasm. But the more he teases your nipples, the more you squeeze him in.

Then suddenly Mako growled. Mako immediately felt you clench particularly tighter around him that it almost made him bust a nut.

“Oh sh..”

Mako reluctantly pulls himself out, despite having to use so much of his willpower to. You whined, looking behind with a pleading look. Mako is at his limit – his cock throbs, seeing his dream come true. You look back at him with a naughty look in your eyes while your ass is sticking up, ready to take more of his cock. Mako grabs you tightly, huffing strongly before he continues trying to rub circles on your clit while playing with your breasts.

“N – Nooo,” you squirm, shaking your ass a little.

“I – I was really close to bust in you, you want to end up getting my baby?” Mako chuckles.

“Y-yeah! I want you to impregnate me!” you admitted out of the blue.

Mako breaths in sharply, his cock throbbing from the idea of creampieing you then making you get pregnant with his baby – permanently marking you as his.

… He suddenly cums on your ass cheeks and lower back, surprising you. You – you realize at the last minute the weird stuff you said. After Mako help rinse off his cum, he continues trying to make you cum on his fingers. He slid his thick fingers even, making you thrust against his hand. He at some point must place his hand on your mouth to lower your volume, but it only excited you based on how hard you squeezed around his fingers.

It took a long time for you to reach close to a climax, getting even more desperate.

“Cum for me, please,” Mako ordered huskily. You shivered in his arms – then you felt his cock thrust in once again. You whined happily, quickly slamming yourself against his crotch. Mako plays with both your tits and your sensitive spot, trying to make you cum faster.

“You’re mine, you are going to get pregnant with my child, you are going to be protected by me, you are going to get fucked only by me, you are all mine,” he declared in a dark, growly voice. It made you tighten so much around him – Mako think he is about to get close to climaxing again.

“Tell me who is my lovely cumslut?” Mako ordered, before starting to kiss and nibble on her soft neck.

“M- Me~!” you replied, squeezing in his thick hark cock.

“Who is going to be my wife?”

“Me,”

“Good girl,” he grins, giving a soft bite on your neck.

You got really quiet for a second before you whined softly, cumming on his cock. Mako felt you pulse around him girth, making him shake with pleasure.

“Did you cum..?”

No response.

“… (y/n)?”

Mako looks over – your eyes are almost closed all the way, breathing shallowly while you are still arching your back. You nodded yes though.

“Good,” Mako sighed, but his cock still rock hard.

Mako waited until you are conscious enough, turning around. Mako stood up to look for his soaps and stuff so you two can clean up– but then his breathing hitches. He quickly looks down to see you on your knees, sucking on his cock. Mako shivered when he felt you gag on him while you try to deepthroat him. You bob your head up and down. Luckily, it didn’t take long to make him cum because he suddenly grabs your head – shooting his load down your throat. You shivered, looking up happily. After Mako let go of your head, you breath heavily while still on your knees.

“Thank you so much,” you blushed, squirming your body around as if to tease him.

“It’s my pleasure,” Mako laughs a little, reaching hand out to help you up to your feet. After getting up, you gave him a strong hug.

“I want to do this more often with the one person I love,” you smiled happily, making Mako’s heart throb.

Yes. He is definitely making you his spouse.


	55. The Outback

“Do you remember your name?”

“I’m Jamison Fawkes the first!”

“Do you know where you are?”

“In my dorm, why?”

Mei was still teary from earlier, happy that Jamison is back to how he usually is.

“I’m just – I got scared that –,” Mei covered her mouth, looking away slightly.

“Scared of what?” Jamison tilts his head.

“… That… Nevermind! The point is I’m glad you are back to normal, I was so scared,” Mei shook her head a little, smiling sadly.

That was the last time Jamison talked to Mei before she left to study for her midterms. It was Sunday and he’s been studying since Saturday. Mei told him that the midterm test for the class they share will be on Thursday. Jamison got too busy trying to cram everything in his brain and finish all the homework he missed, which is even more stressful because of midterms. He may be a degenerate, but he can be responsible – He just realize something. He looks up slightly. Then a bit more memories flushed into his mind.

_“Baptiste, tell him,”_   
_“Tell him what?”_   
_“That Zenyatta also helped with his recovery.”_

Jamison scratches his head, wondering … Why would Zenyatta want to help him? Knowing good and well that he wanted to hurt him and his kind? He doesn’t get it. If he was himself months ago, he would not get it because of the environment he was in and his mental state. He wanted to ask Mako to specify what he meant when he said Zenyatta “helped him”. Or he can just ask the robot himself.  
Jamison walks over to Zenyatta’s dorm room, knocking his door sheepishly. He slouches there, uncomfortably, waiting for someone to answer. Finally, the door slides open to Zenyatta, peering up at him.

“Greetings,” Zenyatta raise his hand up as a hello.

“Oh uh… hey,” Jamison greeted back, although nervously.

“What can I help you with?”

“… Why.” Jamison muttered out.

Zenyatta tilt his head slightly.

“Why did you help me?” Jamison look straight into – what he thinks are eyes? The two slits on his face below the blue circles.

“Help you with what exactly?” Zenyatta asks.

“With – being myself. With this whole psychosis thingy thing I have? Ehh I dun know,” Jamison describes, hardly.

“Oh?”

“I’m … Hey bo—I mean uhh… Zen. I wanted to kill you. I wanted to kill everyone of you. So why would you want to help with my recovery?” Jamison felt weird and even bad…?

“Violence never helps … Uh. Unless it’s for self-defense or for the greater good,” Zenyatta snickers a little, remembering that he just helped his friends beat up a bunch of bad guys recently.

“I … That can get subjective. Look I’m such a monster towards you, but why help me?” Jamison asks.

“I don’t see how violence helps, I told you. People think that being angry and intolerant to others can fix misunderstandings. It gets really messy; I know because even humans can be awful towards other humans. Intolerance of intolerance is a real paradox, but my point is – well, you still deserve love and support. You are just frustrated and went through so much. It doesn’t excuse your behavior, but I understand why you and Mako would have negative sentiment towards me. I’m very sorry for your home,” Zenyatta explained while Jamison listens in.

“My home?” Jamison asks.

“I visited Junkertown,” Zenyatta said.

“And came out alive??” Jamison furrow his brows, surprised because he is imagining the actual place where the queen is.

“Well, not where the – main group of people are. We saw you and Mako close by Junkertown. I meant the outback specifically. It is sad to see a place that might have known peace reduced… To this,” Zenyatta lowers his head slightly.

“Oh … I don’t remember much about that part,” Zenyatta scratches his head.

“Part?”

“Well when I first got taken in. I don’t remember. Mako does though,” Jamison specified.

“Ah …”

“I’m… I guess I’m sorry. I can’t speak for the other Junkers but I’m sorry for being awful to you. Thank you for helping me,” Jamison nodded slowly.

“My pleasure, and I forgive you,” Zenyatta nodded back. Jamison fidget silently in his place, peering around nervously.

“Would you like me to tell you how you came to be?” Zenyatta asks.

“I – I guess I can take a break from studying,” Jamison shrug.

He slowly enters Zenyatta’s room, looking around. He saw how empty Zenyatta’s side of the room is compared to Baptiste’s. There are only a few specific objects that is from Nepal and a framed picture of the Shambali group. Jamison sit right across Zenyatta’s bed, while Zenyatta sat a few feet in front of him.

* * *

Roadhog walks along the rock hard, sandy ground while Junkrat drones on behind him, talking about something that he really doesn’t care to listen. He just noticed how happier he is.

“I have this dream where we are trying to save this cute girl! She is really small and tiny and we were running away from something! I wonder if I’m capable of – geez, this is so weird! This feeling of empathy and love!” Junkrat laughs, remembering how happy he is in that dream.

Roadhog is surprised at his choice of words, but he kept forgetting that he is still a capable individual. Just dumb in other ways.

“Am I capable of being a hero?”

Roadhog froze. He slowly turns around, seeing the dirty man with wild yellow eyes staring at him with a large grin. Roadhog isn’t sure why he would ask such a weird question. He’s always been an arsehole, not caring about anything nor his surroundings. His ability to have morals is the last thing in his mind, so why would he ask that? Because he wants to be a simp towards some girl that don’t exist?

“Roadhog? I know you are smarter than me, what do you think?” he asks.

“…”

Roadhog turns around. His lungs are already too worked up from walking for too long and he doesn’t feel like talking. He hates talking and he hate talkers. Also, this is so dumb of him. It’s too late for either of them to seek redemption. They already cause so much damage and terror that no one will be willing to help them. Nobody was. Not even their own government or people can save them, it’s every man for himself. They kept walking to well … Who knows? He forgot what he was trying to do. They would have brought their motorcycle, but it broke down. They were going farther into the outback to check for any scraps or something – Mako suddenly grab at his chest, wheezing and coughing.

“Roadhog! I know you hate socializing, but you are my only friend at this point … Roadhog?” Junkrat comes closer to his bodyguard. Roadhog slouches, coughing even longer than usual. He doesn’t remember when the last time was he took a hit of the hogdrogen since he ran out of them. He can’t see Bruce again and the hogdrogen machine needs fixing.

“Roadhog. I know you been having asthma and stuff, but you been coughing for an awful long time,” Junkrat noted, coming closer to him pat his back. Suddenly Roadhog lift his mask up above his mug – only for dark red liquid to spill onto the ground, tinting the orange sand. Junkrat froze, realizing quickly that Roadhog isn’t okay. The large man turns his head slightly, seeing a few people in blue. He blinked. They pointed at him. They look like they are military people, but they walk towards them and they didn’t have any weapons on them.  
Roadhog fell to his knees before he can say anything to Junkrat, breathing shallowly. It looks like Junkrat didn’t notice the people coming yet.

“Roadhog? What’s wrong? Roadhog!” Junkrat shook him, despite how heavy he is. He looks up and saw the blue people finally, coming towards them slowly. One of them looks to be a nurse because she was carrying a medical kit. Junkrat started to worry, not sure whether to make a run for it or …

“R-Roadhog you have to stay with me! Come on, let’s go back home and get some rest – you are my only friend!” Junkrat sob out the last part. Then he remembers something – he remembers the part of his dream where the girl and him watched as Mako lay on his back, his death rattle being heard. It was dark and it was uncomfortably humid. He knew that Roadhog has died in that dream. Is it coming true? What’s going on?

The blue uniformed people came closer, seeing the two nervously. The blonde nurse quickly noticed Roadhog and the amount of blood spilling down his jaw. Junkrat jumped when she suddenly grew wings, flying towards Mako. She quickly opens her kit, pulling out a stick. She smacks it a few times to make it extend to its full form. Then yellow stream came out to stick onto Roadhog. Junkrat watched in awe, quickly noticing that Roadhog stopped coughing. The other blue people came closer, coming over with a bunch of supplies. Is he dreaming?

“Everything will be alright,” the blonde coos, still ejecting yellow healing stuff on Roadhog.

“Who are you people?” Junkrat asks sheepishly.

“Oh, we are from Overwatch,” the girl smiled. Roadhog weakly wiped his mouth, looking down to see blood. Oh, Junkrat vaguely heard of them. He thought they were disbanded or something. They never came to them for help though during the Omnic crisis, so they would never hear about them unless they were out the country. Why suddenly they come over to the outback now?

“G –”

Junkrat looks down at his friend.

“Listen to them,” Mako muttered out.

Junkrat peers nervously, looking up at the Overwatch agents facing them with pitiful stares.

* * *

“We were wanted criminals all over the world! Why didn’t they arrest me and Mako?” Jamison asks.

“I and many others in this organization voted against that,” Zenyatta answers.

“… You … You voted for me to NOT the arrested?” Jamison points at Zenyatta.

“You two would have been sworn insanity, it wouldn’t be fair for you two,” Zenyatta shrugs.

“Geez you – you did a lot for me behind the scenes…” Jamison looks down, not knowing how to take this information. They sat there silently before Zenyatta continues with his story. He explained how Jamison was too reluctant to get his whole head shaved, must walk around in crutches before he gets proper prosthetics, and how he wore a mask until his immunity system is rebuilt. So people just saw him in his most vulnerable state at some point, just a twitchy bald amputee hiding a constant toothy grin behind his mask.

“… Why did no one come over to help us? What happened to the other Junkers?” Jamison peers up.

“I don’t know how to answer that,” Zenyatta replied.

“It’s been _years_. Why did it take so long? The other Junkers got so bitter because of it, including Mako. They are even more reluctant to be saved,” Jamison rubs his temples.

“I really don’t know,” Zenyatta looks down while Jamison follows suit. He fidgets with his hands, knowing how wicked and violent the Junkers are. He knew that he has no choice but to just be grateful him and his best friend got out of that life and moved on. But he couldn’t help but …

_“Am I capable of being a hero?”_

… Jamison looks up at Zenyatta abruptly.

“… My memories are coming back,” Jamison commented.

“Is that so?” Zenyatta respond.

“Yeah … Zenny, uhh is there any way I can let the big guys let me help get more Australian recuperated?” Jamison asks.

“I suppose so, we did get an invitation to be part of the militia,” Zenyatta pointed out. Jamison smiled softly. He got close to Zenyatta, surprising him until – he wrapped his toned arms around his metallic body.

“I really don’t know how to thank all of you,” Jamison stated with his … Jamison voice. It was so normal sounding that it intrigued Zenyatta.

“It is no problem, my friend,” Zenyatta pat his bony back lightly.

The door opens, coming in Baptiste until he froze when he saw the two hugging. He is so confused – an omnic hater suddenly embracing an omnic? Baptiste slowly close the door, walking past them to reach his desktop.

“Oh! Uh how is (y/n)?” Jamison asks right away after letting Zenyatta go.

“Last time I spoke to them was when they were really worried for you,” Zenyatta replied.

“Aww,” Jamison smiled softly.

“Did that answer your questions?”

“N..No not really, I want to know if they are still… I don’t know how to say this, but I know they are really hurt about how people treated them in the past,” Jamison specified abruptly.

“Despite all that has happened, I noticed they have more control over their abilities and they even started doing things for themselves. They are still experiencing symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder, but they are taking antidepressants for it currently,” Zenyatta informs them.

“Oh good,” Jamison smiled.

“It’s all thanks to you and Mako. You two have been so loving to them, especially after what you all went through in your personal lives. I’m surprised to see Mako being especially kind to them,” Zenyatta informs Jamison.

“I mean they are my friend! They accepted me and Mako for who we are and was never intimidated by us. If they were, it’s because of their past rather than because of us,” Jamison shrug.

“I can’t tell you much information because of legal reasons, but I can assure you they are fine,” Zenyatta nodded.

* * *

After completing your homework, you went on to draw pictures like you usually like to do. Lucio is busy mixing. Then the door to their room opens. Jamison walks over, calling to you. His heart skips a beat when you reach your arms out to hug him. He quickly comes over, squeezing you back.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

“I’m okay, and you?” you replied.

“I’m better than never! I just say sorry to Zenyatta for being mean to him and stuff,” Jamison grins.

“R-Really? I’m so proud of you!” you beam.

“Aww, it’s just – I don’t know. He done so much for me and I had no idea until Mako told me,” Jamison scratch the back of his head. You nodded.

“Hey uhh, I drew you,” you gave him a piece of paper with a doodle of him on it.

“Aww thank you,” Jamison receives the gift.

“Ugh, I kept getting these weird cringey memories of me being a weird kid,” you shook your head.

“You know, cringing is a sign you grew up,” Jamison shrug.

You look up, realizing that … Yeah, it’s okay to accept your past and be happy that you changed for the better. That was strangely easy. Nobody really informed you about this until now.

“I – I suddenly feel better when you said that. Thank you so much,” you laugh a little.

Jamison grins, knowing that he got that quote from Zenyatta.


	56. Gossiping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SNOO PINGAS USUAL I SEE

“Strangelets could be as numerous as the stars in the universe, which is as numerous as all the sand in every beach,” Winston explains, writing on the board as his students watched. Jamison managed to bring all his assignments on time by Tuesday. For some reason, Winston nor Harold mentions Siebren being absent. You were sitting on the desk next to Jamison because you are done with your virtual production class and felt like educating yourself about space a little. You also want to be close to your friends.

“Strange quarks are so stable that it can affect every matter, every atom, everything that exist. It would rip apart everything it encounters,” he went on. He then explains more about the anatomy of the strange quarks and what neutron stars are made of. You didn’t notice Lena sitting nearby, staring into your back. When everyone started packing, you hop up to phase through everyone. You went on your way to the training grounds. You eventually reach over there only to see a huge area. There are smaller enclosed spaces for specific things such as target practice. You quickly get overwhelmed by the echoing sounds of people trying to jab at one another or weightlifting. Your eyes got glued to Zarya lifting, quickly noticing that she is the toughest woman you ever saw. You quickly turn around when you thought her determined eyes flicker to yours. You ran off only to smash onto someone. This guy looks familia—oh it’s Genji.

“Yo,” he smiled, standing up while you hop back to your feet.

“Hallo,” you wave your hand… You are not sure what else to say, so you just ran away again to explore. Everyone just looks so intimidating. You felt like you are invading their space, making you get scared about getting in the way. This feeling is exactly why you don't enjoy going to a gym. You are hungry anyway. You instead got by yourself and wait outside the training grounds, in the empty white walls. You pull a pizza out of thin air, munching at it as you slid down to the floor. You are just going to eat lunch by yourself here … Then you heard voices. You chew, listening as to where it could be. They sound familiar.

“They can pull things out of nowhere, why?”

“Don’t you think that’s really dangerous?”

“How so? They would not go around hurting other people.”

“Can they bring out anything? Like maybe a contagious virus or open a portal to space?”

“I’m not sure, that would be cool!”

“No! What if she brings in a strangelet? Do you know what that is?”

“A what?”

“Strangelet is something that can destroy everything it touches, even the air. It is so stable that anything that it can get its hands on quickly get converted into a strange bath. They didn’t teach you that in physics?”

“I’m more brawn than brains, honestly. My favorite class has been taking care of cattle this whole time. Anyways, I’m sure that you might be a bit paranoid! Nothing to worry about, (y/n) is a fine addition to our team!”

Your eyes widen, looking up with your heart beating. You ran over to where the two is at the corner. Lena and Jesse are in front of the supply room and the net full of basketballs, not noticing you being there.

“What if they lose their cool? What’s going to happen then?” she asks, tilting her head.

“I don’t know, but I doubt they want to destroy everything.”

“You didn’t see how they react, did you?”

“When using their abilities? I saw it happen numerous times, what do you mean?”

“When they are angry, you never saw them angry?”

Jesse looks up in the ceiling, thinking. He did saw you do property damage the day of the second raid when facing against Akande, but he thought it was just you being messy rather than … Upset about something? He doesn’t remember much because he was pushed around too much to see straight. You shrunk back to the corner, so they don’t see you still eating your pizza. You don’t feel angry or anything, just curious.

“No, don’t think so ma’am,” Jesse shook his head.

“I did, there was cracks running through the walls and ceiling outside my dorm,” Lena frowns.

“Really? What were they upset about?” Jesse tilt his head.

Lena opens her mouth but stop herself from speaking.

“You don’t know? I mean, I don’t hang around much, but they seem peaceful the few times I seen them over at my dorm. Only time I saw them distressed was when I saw them with Morrison and Miss Amari,” Jesse explains. 

“Morrison knows about them?”

“Yeah, why not?”

“How did they managed to meet him?”

“I … I can’t talk about it.”

“Why?”

“It’s too personal.”

“Personal??”

“Yeah like TMI, private stuff, but they do know about (y/n).”

“Were they worried about their powers?”

“Don’t think so, they would have talked to them about it – wait why are we talking about them anyway? Isn’t this gossiping?”

“Because if they are angry enough, they can potentially destroy the whole university.”

“Oh, you are exaggerating, I’m sure they are fine. If you are so worried, speak to them about it.”

“I doubt they will listen to me, especially after they cursed me out a week before.”

“They did?”

“Yeah! They randomly called me a bitch and stuff.”

“Why? I – I’m not saying their behavior is excused if they really were mean but what made them want to call you that? I really never saw them fooling around.”

“They are too protective of Olivia.”

“Oh, yeah they seem close.”

“Yeah…”

“But what does Olivia have to do with them calling you a bitch? Is it about you not liking her much?”

“I was suspicious that Olivia knew everything about the raiding and didn’t told anyone about it, especially about Gabe.”

“She knew everything?”

“She was good friends with Gabe, so I wouldn’t be surprised if she had something to do with it.”

“But she was in my dorm during the raiding last Friday. She was just checking the cameras to see if anyone is dangerously close to our dorms. Besides, she’s been hanging out with Baptiste and the Junkers more.”

“How did she got there when everything got locked in?”

“(y/n) helped her get there safely because – I guess they were worried for them.”

“McCree, I’m not trying to be a jerk or gossip, but this is a genuine concern. What if they managed to break spacetime? Bring in a blackhole or something even?”

“I doubt they want to. Relax kiddo, there is nothing to worry about!”

You start to sweat, not feeling like eating anymore after you ate your slice of pizza. You back away slowly.

“(y/n)?”

You whip around, wide eyeing at Jamison. He came over with Mako to the training area but spotted you much to your horror. You are frozen in place, trying to tell them in a silent manner not to call to you.

“You got lost? What’s up?” Jamison walks over to you until you just phase through the wall next to you to run away.

Jamison and Mako got confused, quickly looking at each-other. You are usually happy to see them, but you just ran off for no reason.

“Aye, where they go? Why would they ran off like that?”

Mako silently went into the training area, thinking maybe you got on there. Jamison followed behind while not noticing Lena and McCree getting quiet. You ended up in the weightlifting area, walking around in a daze from the adrenaline. You look up to see Zarya still lifting dumbbells, too distracted to notice you. You want to listen to Lena and McCree even longer, so you just – You slowly peer through the wall, seeing that Jamison and Mako isn’t there anymore. You phase through, standing there nervously.

“They uhh got promoted! Yeah. But anyways, yeah this has nothing to do with me – but I really doubt they will do anything bad. I trust Morrison on this since he is the one that knows about them.”

“ _Sigh_ I guess so, then again I did report them.”

“What?”

“On the damages and stuff, even saw them running around during the raid.”

“Lena, no! They were probably scared because they barely came to this university and have no idea what was going on, the poor thing!”

“McCree I know your dormmates were out.”

You didn’t see Jesse froze, quickly shutting up as he blinked.

“I know you and Gabe have been close too, what were you and your friends doing?”

“F… Fine, I’ll tell ya. Morrison knows we were going around beating up bad guys, you know, being vigilantes and all. Go ahead, ask him if you think I’m lying. I was trying to keep everything classified but not the cat is out of the hat, well…”

“Beating up bad guys? Then what happened to Reyes? He wasn’t caught at all.”

“(y/n) said Siebren took him. You know, the scientist?”

“Took him? To where?”

“It’s weird, (y/n) didn’t specify where. They just kept repeating that the scientist took him away somewhere.”

“Well they can’t just disappear! Or does (y/n) has something to do with their disappearances?”

“I mean … Maybe. What’s the bad in that?”

“But why mention Dr. De Kuiper??”

“I’m telling you, talk to them if you are so concerned about this. I have nothing to do with your dislike for this person and I can’t help you with that. All I can tell you is talk to them.”

“And if they make me _disappear_?” Lena said nonchalantly.

“Everyone will really notice if you are gone, don’t be silly. They are not a monster. They made my dormmates and I help catching the bad guys, potentially saving _yours_ and other students lives. They could have gotten rid of you already during the raid if they are as impulsive as you claim. But you are still here! Please, just talk to them. I don’t even know why I continued with this conversation, especially since you seem upset about my past with Gabe,” Jesse sigh harshly, quickly walking away from where he was to the hallways.

“Aww Jesse, come on! I was only upset you lied to me about not being outside your dorm!” Lena said, walking after him.

“Yeah _sure_ , just talk to them if you are so worried about them killing everyone as if they are in cahoots with Gabe... Gabe tried to attack them, you know,” Jesse pointed out.

You jolt and phase back in the wall, but he thought he saw something move in the corner of his eye. He turns around. Jesse frowns while Lena got confused from how suddenly he stopped.

You got back at the weightlifting area. You rub away the dust off your pants, standing up and walking over. You turn and got in eye-contact with Zarya. She blinked, looking surprised. You turn a little to where you came from back to her, slowly shying away from her staring while you walk away. Zarya quickly got up, calling towards you with a “hey!”

You turn around quickly, stopping on your track.

“Are you supposed to be here?” Zarya looks at you suspiciously, walking towards you as she slowly towers over you. She quickly took note of your small size and your weak arms. You froze, not sure how to explain your situation with her.

“Look at you, you are so small and fragile!” Zarya pointed out.

“Oh, I know ..! I want to start weightlifting but didn’t know what to do,” you rub your arms.

“Really? Are you part of the security?”

“Y-Yeah! Morrison came to my dorm and gave me the acceptance letter,” you nodded rapidly.

“Morrison? THE Jack Morrison?”

“Yeah, he gave me this medal,” you showed her the medal showing the Overwatch insignia from your pocket. You really got it from your void. Zarya’s brows raised, recognizing the medal.

“You don’t seem the fighting type… Maybe you are in charge of the technical stuff?” Zarya commented, crossing her arms.

“I can do weird stuff like floating and pulling stuff from thin air. I can escape anything and phase through walls,” you try to explain your abilities.

“Ooh that is what you were doing!” Zarya nodded.

“Yeah, I just heard people – Uhh… Yeah, Morrison thinks my ability to mess with space and stuff can be useful. Doesn’t really help with my physical state though,” you shrug, scratching the back of your head.

“There is no cheating to physical strength,” Zarya shook her head.

“N-No, not at all. Especially since I’m not … Like everything also depends on how you are emotionally when maintaining your body,” you point at your head.

“Yes exactly,” Zarya smiled.

“What’s your name? My name is (y/n),” you stick your hand out.

“Aleksandra, ready for duty,” she gave you a hard squeeze and a shake of your hand.

“Oh, there you are!” Jamison exclaims.

You turn around to see Jamison and Mako coming towards you and Aleksandra. She also noticed the Junker boys as she lets go of your hand.

“Why did you run away from us?” Jamison asks.

You turn around but didn’t answer their question, shrugging. You know how overprotective they are of you, so you didn’t want to mention Lena and Jesse.

“What? You are embarrassed of us now?” Jamison put his fisted hand on his hips, giving you a pouty look.

“What? Why embarrassed?” you squint.

“I don’t know! You can’t just run off for no reason!” Jamison pouts some more.

“You two seem new here,” Aleksandra crosses her arms with a smile.

“Oh yeah, we are! We were here yesterday when Jesse gave us a tour,” Jamison smiled back. You look over Jamison’s side and saw Lena and McCree come in. You try to hide yourself in front of Jamison as to not get noticed.

“I see,” Aleksandra nodded.

“Well, nice meeting ya!” Jamison grins while you turn back to Aleksandra.

“It’s nice meeting you, ma’am,” you nodded.

“No problem! Remember to stretch before doing any rigorous activities,” Aleksandra advised everyone. Everyone nodded, Aleksandra no longer suspicious of you.

“… But seriously, why you ran off?” Jamison nags at you. You have no idea how to answer him without outing Lena or lying to them outright, so you just didn’t answer. Mako quickly notice something is wrong with how unresponsive you are being.

“Can you hear me? I know it’s loud but – Hey, where you going?” Jamison reach his hand out when you try to run, but then ran up to Jesse.

“Oh! Sorry little fella,” Jesse smiled, patting your shoulder.

“Ah, Jesse!” Jamison recognizes him.

“Hey fellas! Uh, oh yeah I was going to talk to (y/n) for a bit so they can have more information about this whole ordeal,” Jesse said, surprising you and the Junkers.

“Uhhh sure? Am I in trouble because I look distracted?” you said. You start to also think that maybe this is about Lena.

“Huh? Oh no, you’re fine! Just thought that maybe you need some help since you don’t like being distracted so easily,” Jesse shrug.

You turn to Mako and Jamison, looking at you worryingly.

“Oh okay?” you shrug, walking behind Jesse to the outside of the busy arena. You don’t know where Lena went, and you start to wonder if … Maybe it’s about your autism? You are too guilty to look at Jamison and Mako one last time before leaving, but they didn’t follow you this time.

When you and the cowboy left the training area, you followed him to where you heard him speak to Lena. He took his hat off then rub his temples, turning around to face you.

“Look, I’ll cut to the chase. I saw you run away after I talked to miss Oxtron.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I don't jinx it but I'm going to be more active now, especially because I'm currently quarantined as of now because of the coronavirus. Yall be safe and keep yourself clean.


	57. The Tesseract

“Look, I’ll cut to the chase. I saw you run away after I talked to miss Oxtron,” Jesse stated.

You stood around, feeling your stomach gurgling a little while not responding to Jesse’s statement.

“Look kiddo I – I didn’t like having to talk about you behind your back, please don’t think I have any negative feelings towards you,” Jesse frowns, looking right at you while you avoid his gaze.

“Can I actually kill everyone?” you peer up, staring back with your sad eyes.

“No, I really don’t think so. You’re much too nice, you even give me that sweet cinnamon bun coffee!” Jesse smiled, although he still looks worried.

“The whole strangelet thing scared me though, I know what she was talking about,” you look down.

“No no no, don’t listen to her,” Jesse pets your head, trying to comfort you.

“I mean – I did say sorry to her for insulting her and I fixed up the walls and stuff,” you mumbled, too hesitant on whether to mention that you also destroyed Jamison’s prosthetic in that incident or how that incident also have something to do with you running off to commit deathspacito.

“That’s good, everyone should have that same attitude. But what prompt you to even do that you did?”

“She was vilifying Olivia and I hate that! I – I been manipulated many times by bad people to turn against others when I was younger, so it just really made me upset,” you snap a little.

“Oh, I see,” Jesse smiled sadly.

“Is that all? You just felt bad because you saw me ran off?” you look up at him.

“Yeah, I guess that’s all,” Jesse rub the back of his head.

“Okei,” you turn around to go back to the hallways, maybe to eat something.

“B-But yeah I didn’t mean to talk behind your back,” Jesse call after you.

He walks over to go back to the training area– but he stopped when he saw you frozen, staring at Mako and Jamison standing in the hallways. You blinked.

“… Uh, no no, you didn’t really say anything bad about me,” you turn a little to Jesse to answer his apology.

“Oh okay, but yeah I didn’t like having to do that,” Jesse frowned, getting nervous because he doesn’t know for how long Mako and Jamison was listening in on you two.

“Is that why you ran off when we saw you?” Jamison broke the awkwardness.

You nodded reluctantly.

“I did hear yall talking and coming in, putting two and two together when I thought I saw something moving when I turn the corner,” Jesse commented.

“What did Lena say now?!” Jamison glares, bunching his sleeves up as if ready to fight. You and Jesse are not sure what to say to them. Mako took note that none of you are speaking up.

“What she says?!” Jamison repeats.

“James don’t – don’t get involve. It’s something to do between me and … Please, it makes me uncomfortable how … I …” you got scared, mentally angry at yourself for reverting back to be a scaredy cat.

“(y/n) you can talk to us,” Mako assures, coming closer to you.

“It’s between me and Lena, okay? Please don’t get too riled up about it, it’s just her making up conspiracy theories about how scary my powers can get. She is just worried and still hurt over me calling her names,” you rub your arms nervously, not looking up at them.

“Y-Yeah, only you can know for sure how your abilities work,” Jesse laughs nervously. You nodded, looking at your shaky hands. You are not sure if … Maybe ….

“You can’t just let her gossip about you!” Jamison exclaims.

“Let her! She is only making herself look bad,” you glared, trying to appear as if you are not worried.

Jamison made a weird shrilly noise as if to express disapproval.

“Fam please, don’t start a fight with her or something,” you frown.

“Fffffiiiiine ugh, but I will get upset if I hear her talking about you behind your back!” Jamison pouts while crossing his arms.

“Yeah please, I appreciate how much you two care about me but I’m not a baby. It’s embarrassing,” you said, feeling guilty because you are so scared of offending them or something.

“Oh no! I don’t think you are a baby; we just really don’t like it when people don’t respect you!” Jamison replied. He just remembers you have autism, so you get annoyed when people treat you like a child.

“I – I know, but I can deal with it… It’s fine,” you fiddle with your hands, Jesse also standing around nervously.

“Have you eaten yet?” Jamison asks suddenly.

“N-no?” you rub your stomach, even though you are too nervous to feel the hunger now.

* * *

You are too nervous about Mako and Jamison continuing that conversation during lunch, but you all ate with Baptiste and Olivia over at the burger place without mentioning what happened. You continue with your classes, then went back to your dorm room. You quickly got ready for bed then try to lay down, really hoping that none of the guys change their mind and try to talk to you. You lay still. Lucio is still busy on his desktop, even until midnight have passed.

… You can’t stop thinking about it. You don’t want to talk about it with Mako and Jamison because they will just get angrier at Lena. You didn’t want them doing dumb stuff over you being so sensitive. You are genuinely scared that maybe you can accidentally bring about the end of the world if you are not careful. You try to sleep still, trying to get rid of those racing thoughts. But it just kept piling up, like dirty dishes. It kept piling and piling up, your fear pumping up into view. You just thought about the darkness, what awaits you after death – You got scared, thinking that you _already_ brought a strangelet into your hand. You scratch at it. The thought kept jumping at you, getting bigger and bigger. You start to breath shallowly. You felt like you are going to throw up. Your stomach hurts. Your heart is beating rapidly. Your whole body is shivering violently. You whined a little, growing more fearful by the seconds.

It’s so late in the night that you didn’t want to wake anyone up. You quickly got up, opening the door and then exiting the dorm altogether. You end up walking outside into the cold, allowing the breeze to dry up your sweat and comfort your beating blood vessels. It’s not terribly cold but it feels like it might be 57 F°. You walk over to where Siebren disappeared and where you talk to him. He’s someone that you trust the most because his powers are the most like yours and you can’t really trust Moira anymore, especially after what Satya and Olivia told you. You usually give everyone the benefit of the doubt but knowing that Moira is the one that experimented on Gabe and made him that way …

You try to imagine the hole. Running in the cold calmed your nerves enough to make you focus, so you quickly thought of the black hole Siebren has while creating a force field around it. You jolted when the hole appeared, sucking up the air and then quickly pulling you in. You let go, focusing on trying not to get spaghettified or something. You didn’t notice how fast you are going, because your perception of time got weird – you thought you saw the sun being out as if it’s the afternoon behind you, but looking forward you saw morning right after dawn. You close your eyes again, trying to be anxious about this situation rather than what is perceived in your head. You look up slowly, quickly seeing yourself in a weird cubic area. Oh, this is a tesseract. You move on, going through this space as you perceive it.

Your sped yourself up, flying through the tesseract to the point beyond speed of light at a diagonal way. Then there was darkness. You start to get nervous, wondering if maybe you did something wrong or there is this dark realization of what could have happened. Maybe both Siebren and Reyes got destroyed when they went into the hole because they don’t have the power to contain their physical state like you do. You just know based on how you imagine and feel things. You lower your head, going back to the tesseract – only to quickly notice small lights in front of you showing up, one by one. You squint, wondering if maybe you are looking up at the sky. You sped up even more, looking at the colorful gases floating by and more stars appearing in your vision. You are amazed but … Where are you??

You were supposed to be in darkness or something, what even happens to whatever gets sucked in?

You turn and turn, only seeing more stars and the stars you saw previously grow brighter. Your eyes hurt from staring too hard, proceeding to make you rub at them. You felt something grab you at your hips, making you jump and scream. You sped away forward, blinking and peering behind you.

... You cover your mouth. You quickly jump forward at the tall figure that is your dearly missed friend, Siebren. He giggles, catching you before petting your head. He run his hand through your top hair, feeling the fluff.

“Stroopwaffle?” he asks, presenting you one in his hand. You gently pick it up from his palm, letting go of him.

“Wait -- Where did you put the animal?” you asked, rubbing your eye while letting him go.

“Hmm?”

“Gabe? Where is Gabe?”

“Oh … I lost him. I threw him into another dimension, seems like,” he answered, looking onto literal space.

“W H A T?” you furrow your brows in concern, wide-eyed. 

“I don’t know honestly, I just know I put him somewhere so he can’t reach you,” Siebren shrugs.

You look around, the star lights not looking as intense as before.

“You seem nervous, are you alright?” Siebren ask, tilting his head.

“Sorry Siebren – I’m experiencing what you experienced,” you apologize.

“Are you okay, mentally?” Siebren asks.

“I’m … I’m worried for my friends. I’m worried about being a danger to society. It was what pushed me to want to … You know… Uh… Siebren, did I told you?”

Siebren is gazing down at you, his grey periwinkle irises directed towards you.

“I try to kill myself. Weeks before. Because I didn’t react well and end up breaking a bunch of stuff. I destroyed Jamison’s prosthetics before I can give him his natural limbs back. Maybe those people are right; I’m a violent monster,” your face grew solemn, looking down.

“Don’t listen to them,” Siebren frowns, starting to pet you.

“I could have snapped someone’s neck with my powers if I wasn’t careful!” you scowled.

“Don’t.”

“What if I get angry enough to actually bring in a strangelet? What if I impulsively do so? Maybe that is what they are talking about,” you start to cry, feeling those dark thoughts slithering in.

Siebren thought for a moment, while still running his hand through your scalp.

“Have you heard of the Schrodinger’s Cat?” he asks.

“I got scared at this idea because it gave me an existential crisis if I think it is what it is, then ….? I think I know what you are talking about. Is it about the cat being dead in a box?” You start to sweat, wondering if you are going to receive information that might really destroy your sanity.

“Yeah that one. It’s a criticism against trying to apply quantum physics to everyday life. If you put a cat in a box with a poisonous substance, we will not know whether the cat has died or not until the box is opened. They can read the amount of radioactivity maybe, but they would not know for sure what happened to the cat until they open the box. There are numerous reinterpretations of this, but let’s just say …. Let’s say the neutron star is the box and is inside the cat. We will not know if there is a strangelet in there until we personally got in there to investigate, but we will die for other reasons like – combusting into dust,” Siebren discussed.

“What do you mean you don’t know if a strangelet is in there?” you tilt your head.

“Strangelets for now is just a theory, much like how most things in physics is just a theory. That is why the Big Bang theory is a theory, why there is such thing as a white hole theory, etc etc. Theory is still more reliable than a mere guess because it is tested multiple times, but some theories will be proven wrong one day,” he smiled softly.

“Hol up there is a white hole??” you squint.

“In theory, we don’t know for sure but there has been one observance.”

“So there is a possibility that a strangelet only exist in theory, but there is a chance that it might not exist at all?”

“Yes.”

You look down, seeing space from below your feet.

“There are other things you can bring that can be hazardous, but I think you have to will it so it can happen. You can’t will something to happen unless you actively want to, and seeing that you can’t function if you are under too much anxiety --- I doubt you would bring any danger,” Siebren explained, trying to calm you in a logical manner.

You start to get the idea that this explanation can also apply for everything else that worries you; you can’t control whether someone will be unpleasant to you or not. You can’t control whether somebody dies or not. You can’t control anyone or anything but yourself. 

“Can you come back? People are looking for you,” you look at him worryingly.

“I – I can’t. I have to stay here,” he replied hesitantly.

“What is here?” you peer around, floating.

“It’s the 5th dimension. You just passed through the tesseract, which is the 4th dimension. I feel like myself over here. There isn’t this weird sound of music unless I’m bothering a part of myself. And I was. I can see different futures, different timelines and different multiverses from here…”

“Sir you can’t just abandon your job just because of this one incident,” you furrow your brows.

“Then let them fire me. The only people worried is the authorities,” Siebren shrugs.

Your face fell slightly, looking up at him.

“… Do you have any … Family?”

Siebren turns a little, his tiny smile appearing alongside his sad tired eyes.

“No, I’m an old man remember?” he answers honestly.

“O – Oh…” you frowned. It’s ironic that you pity him when you also don’t have any family left; well, as of now. You are not sure if there are any cousins still alive. Somebody mentioned your sister, but you are not sure if you can face her.

“… Talk to me more about space,” you ask, rubbing your eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was ... Okei I was planning to let him stay absent the rest of the fanfiction, but I changed my mind the last minute. I had an idea on how things will end but I think it might get too messy and inconsistent, so I'm just like -- fuck it let the flying Dutchman come back. So yayyy he is not really dead or gone forever. Also please don't roast me about sciency stuff because I'm just goofing off ripppp


	58. The Reports

“I dreamt about you, telling me that you might not come back – did you really went through my dreamscapes?” you ask curiously.

“Maybe,” Siebren shrug, playing around with two weird looking balls around in his hands. It levitates to and fro between his palms.

“You seem worried though; you were warning me about people coming after me,” you pointed out.

“Really? Maybe I saw that future, but I’m not going to know what happens until it did happen to you,” Siebren replied. Then he squeezes the balls against his hands, squeezing until he looks at his hand.

“Here is a small black hole – in here,” Siebren opened his palm, showing a small hole in the middle of it.

You look down, confused. Wouldn’t it be enough to suck you in and make you spaghetti? Why isn’t it affecting him either?

“Create a strangelet and put it in here,” Siebren suggested, stretching his arm out to you.

You look down onto your hands. You’re scared to look at it. You got so so scared …. But then you felt something heavy and round. You opened your eyes to a white ball. It’s so bright that you look away, your eyes squeezed shut.

“Ah, you made a neutron star,” Siebren smiled.

“But … It’s not a strangelet,” you furrow your brows.

“Maybe the theories are wrong, that the neutron star is merely only a neutron star. It’s full of quarks though,” Siebren explained.

You stretch your hand out to him. There was a weird sound as Siebren allow the hole in his hand to gobble up the star. Your hand didn’t get sucked in. He holds your palm until the whole star is gone. Your hand is plastered onto his large palm. His slender fingers slowly envelopes over your hand.

“What stops a black hole?” Siebren asks you. You try to think. You noticed that the hole only got bigger. The same will happen if another black hole collapsed with this one. You shook your head no.

“Time. A black hole is like grief. Only time can heal the wound,” Siebren answered.

You look as the hole got tinier and tinier … Until there is nothing left.

“You taught me something… You taught me that I shouldn’t be scared. You taught me that I have the will to change and to work things out. I believe in you, (y/n). I truly think you will not harm a thing and you will do your best to fix your mistakes. It’s not the mistakes that defines you, but how you dealt with it,” Siebren explained.

You peer up at Siebren, tears welling up in your eyes. You are remembering the people that hurt you. They are trying to fill up that hole in their hearts with lust and attention-seeking, only for that hole to grow bigger and bigger. You wanted to help them, but …

“Don’t listen to the people that are against you. Don’t listen to the people that hurt you. You must be strong. You already are strong but – have more confidence in yourself. Don’t be swayed by other people,” Siebren advices, proceeding to pet your head.

You nodded, your tears falling into space below.

“I promise you, the holes in your heart will go away with time – just like this blackhole.”

* * *

You manage to get back into the surface, closing the hole and fixing the area around it. You rub your face from any remaining tears, getting rid of the force field while walking back to the dorm. Then the cold hit you. You shivered, pulling a jacket out of thin air to put it on yourself. You could fly off, but you are still shivering a bunch from how cathartic everything went… Or you are just cold. Or both.

You wonder to yourself, looking up at the dark sky. It’s too blurry because of the smog maybe, but you can see tiny lights creeping through. You smiled softly, knowing that Siebren is alive and well. He just became some kind of father time – father space-time. “Carl Sagan in space” as Brandon Urie stated.

You heard loud rustles of footsteps, turning around to see a large figure walking up to you from behind.

“… Mako??” you called to him. He froze.

“… I … Uh…” Mako mumbles.

“Did you followed me again?” you pouted.

You couldn’t see how nervous Mako is, not wanting to upset you. You didn’t know that he purposefully invited Baptiste and Olivia to lunch because he knew you are going to be too uncomfortably eating with him and Jamison by yourself after what happened this morning.

“… I was worried,” he answered finally.

“Let’s go back, you might catch a cold or something,” you mumbled, walking up to make a large wormhole back to the dorms.

“W-Wait…” Mako said.

You turn around, confused.

“I want to talk to you without Jamison. He will genuinely be upset for sure,” Mako turn a little to his side.

“Uh … Is it about Lena or about where I just left?” you squint.

“Uh… The former,” Mako answered reluctantly.

“What about it?” you ask.

“What did she say about you?”

“Remember what Winston taught us this morning?”

“…. About the life cycle of a star?”

“No, about the strangelets? The strange quarks?” you specified.

“Oh, what about it?” Mako got closer to you.

“Lena is worried that I might bring in a strangelet, potentially causing mass destruction because everything a strange quark touches will be turn into a strange quark too. So then I got worried too, thinking “uhhh is that even possible? That doesn’t sound too good”. But then I just left into a secluded area and try to figure out if they even exist? Turns out that the neutron star is just full of regular quarks and that’s it. Either I was too scared to summon one or there is no such thing as a strange quark, just existing in theory,” you explained.

“There is no such thing as a strange quark?” Mako relayed a little.

You shrug.

“How did you know for sure? Did you just … Travel into space or something?” Mako asks.

“Yeah, that’s where the hole led me to, so I don’t kill everyone in case it’s true. I can contain my body so nothing happens to me, but idk I just pull out a small neutron star on my hand – It’s complicated, I basically got through a bunch of stuff to do this experiment,” you rub your temples.

“But a neutron star is the size of maybe a large city, also it’s really massive,” Mako scratch his head. He is also having a headache trying to understand everything.

“I don’t know how I managed to do that but just – Okay, I’m feeling better now. My morbid curiosity is satisfied,” you shrug, quickly going on your way back to the dorms.

“But you didn’t tell me what other stuff Lena told about you,” Mako pointed out.

“What else? She just said that I might be negligent enough to bring such a thing over, that’s her concern,” you answer back.

You just heard him huff roughly, his footsteps following behind.

_Sigh I guess so, then again I did report them._

_Lena and Olivia have reported some interesting stuff about you – about how you are the missing kid from decades ago and how destructive you are with your powers. If the administration found out, they might imprison you forever._

You remembered Reyes mentioning that when he attacked you the first time. Lena has snitched on you already by then. You didn’t want to mention this to Mako or Jamison because they might get really worried. Then again, why should they? It’s been days and Morrison didn’t do anything to you, only invite you to the Overwatch security team and officially adopting you.

Oh yeah you forgot you got adopted. Can you visit him now?

“… Mako?”

“Hmm?”

“I might visit Ja—I mean … Geez, I’m not sure what to call him but I’m gonna go check if I can visit Mr. Morrison,” you scratch the back of your head.

“Oh … Yeah sure,” Mako shrug.

“Do you want to come with me, or you want to go back to the dorms? It is pretty late,” you ask.

“I’ll go with you,” Mako nodded. He is thinking whether he might need to ask him for his kid’s hand in marriage instead.

You opened a wormhole to Jack’s office, jumping out to check if he is around despite being so late. Surprisingly, you and Mako spotted his white hair. His back is turned, and he is lowered behind his desk while rustling through something.

“Uhh … Hey fam,” you call to him.

You heard a bonk from Jack hitting his head on the edge, earning an “ow” from him. He got up, quickly recognizing you.

“Oh, hey kid, why are you out so late? There is curfew,” Jack said, still packing something up.

You look up at Mako worryingly. He looks back, giving you a soft stare. You didn’t process it as him looking at something he loves.

“Uhh sorry, just coming up to you as your kid – did – did someone said anything about me?” you asked hesitantly.

“What do you mean?” Jack stood up finally, holding a professional looking bag.

“Not to worry you but I’m not sure if they are empty threats – Reyes told me the first time he confronted me that Lena and Olivia reported me,” you manage to squeeze out that information. Mako is shocked that you suddenly started talking about that incident after being so reluctant to talk about it.

“Lena and Olivia …? Report you about what?” Jack asks.

“I don’t know? He said that the state might come after me because of what they said but maybe it’s a threat, but then I heard Lena saying that she _did_ report me. I think Olivia only talked about my powers to you but can you tell me if you gotten anything?” you tilt your head.

“Reports …” Jack look down, thinking for a bit. Mako is really still, processing that Lena not only talked about you as if you are a monster, but _reporting_ you as well. You never mentioned this information to him.

“Olivia only told me about the forged documents, which it is bad I admit – but about Lena’s report, maybe it went to the other administration? I don’t know why that man would mention that,” Jack frowns.

“But he was part of the administration, right?” you pointed out.

“Unfortunately,” he furrows his brows in disappointment.

“Why it never reached you? You think maybe it never reached you?” you ask.

“Maybe? If it’s so severe then maybe they would reach to me, maybe it’s just a complaint… Did she have problems with you?” he looks up to you. He thought that you and Lena would get along because you two experienced similar stuff; you two went through something crazy only to come out of it alive with superpowers.

“I … I called her names for being mean to Olivia,” you admitted.

“Oh, that’s … That’s not severe enough to reach me if it’s not racist or hateful,” he replied.

“Wh – No, I called her … Jeez I forgot…” you squint.

“You call her a dumbfuck,” Mako answered.

“O – oh,” you and Jack stuttered. You forgot Mako saw the whole thing because it took place in his class.

“I mean … That’s just a warning, if any if she is complaining about that,” Jack shrug.

“But both Reyes and Lena said I’m “destructive with my powers”. Does that sound bad??” you revealed.

Mako and Jack look up.

“Destructive? Like causing property damage? I only saw you doing that when you were beating up those guys and then you clean after yourself – you trying to impress me?” Jack smiled a little.

“No deadass they said that,” you said, quickly realizing what you said in that sentence. You forgot Jack is your superior.

“Reyes?” Jack relays, not minding that you said a curse word.

“Yeah both Lena and Reyes called me destructive,” you repeat yourself.

“But if it’s really bad, it would have reached me … Where did that report go?” Jack tilt his head a little.

You shrug, expecting him to have all the answers instead.

“I’m sure they are just giving you empty threats; if you are really as disruptive as they made you out to be, it would have reached to my desk. But I didn’t receive any reports except over Reyes,” Jack raised his hands in a shrug.

You and Mako didn’t mention the incident of that one time you did snap in front of Lena, but then it’s like a lose-lose situation; if they mention the incident and Jack said he didn’t receive any report about that, you two will know Lena didn’t say anything but Jack will know how bad your anger can get. OR Jack will remember reading that and will just start scolding. OR the most concerning guess – the report never reached his desk because it might have been given to someone else, which wouldn’t make sense if it’s supposed to be severe. If Lena is really serious about you being a danger to the world, wouldn’t she make a big deal out of it? If she is bold enough to report about Olivia’s hacking or plagiarism, then she can easily report on you too for something bad. Where did Lena’s so-called report go? You two know Olivia’s report reached to Jack, but what about Lena’s?

“I… Okay, just checking to see if I’m in trouble or something,” you shrug.

“Not really, just get back to your dormroom safely,” Jack squints.

“You have a good night – wait what do I call you?” you ask curiously.

“Whatever makes you comfortable,” Jack answered happily.

“Oh okay, you have a good night and I hope you come home safely too,” you nodded.

“Thank you, I will,” Jack smiled.

* * *

You and Mako reached back to the dorms through the wormhole, coming into Mako’s room. Jamison is still asleep, snoring comically. Mako have so many questions but is not sure how to go about it or where to start. You peer around the darkness, carefully sitting on Mako’s bed. He slowly come over to sit right next to you.

“… Is there a way for you to trust me more?” Mako ask. You noticed how … Sad he sounded? It broke your heart, making you peer over him with a frown.

“What do you mean? I love you and I feel safe with you … Maybe too safe,” you giggled a little.

“You didn’t tell me these things, the things you talked to Morrison about,” Mako specified.

“I didn’t want to worry you or Jamison,” you admitted.

“But we are your loved ones, of course we will worry; you shouldn’t feel guilty about it,” Mako furrow his brows.

“Are you still worried about the reports?” you ask.

“What if Lena didn’t report to the Overwatch people but to some other entity entirely?” Mako proposes. You blinked.

“Uh… But it’s been like a week since she could have reported. Also, if she didn’t report to the Overwatch team, how did Reyes know about it?” you pointed out.

Mako shrugs.

“Please don’t say anything to Lena, she might be more terrified than me,” you laugh a little. You felt so much better hearing a chuckle from Mako.

“Okay let’s go sleep, it’s getting late,” you yawned. Mako and you proceeded to cuddle up in bed, but Mako couldn’t help but still care for you. He softly pets your head, hoping that maybe he is worrying over nothing.


	59. The Sadistic Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of dubcons, violence, and angst.

You went through class like normally, now a Wednesday. You, Jamison, and Mako don’t feel as tense anymore while you all ate your lunch. Mako still feel like he wants you to talk to him more since he _thought_ he was passive enough to listen. Only he knew that Jamison would react harder to everything.

“… Okay this is between me and you two, but I found Siebren,” you commented. You are not sure what to talk about. Jamison and Mako quickly look up.

“Oh yeah, I was wondering why he wasn’t around teaching the class anymore. They are talking about his favorite subject now!” Jamison responded.

“So remember I said that Siebren took Reyes?” you said.

“Yeah! What does that mean?” Jamison ask, chewing on his chicken nuggets

“He is like – living in a black hole as of now. He yeeted Reyes into it,” you explain.

“He jizz?” Jamison grins amusingly.

“Wh – n o no like he threw Reyes onto a blackhole,” you repeat yourself.

“Good.” Mako said.

“Wait I don’t remember – what did Reyes do?” Jamison squints, trying to think.

Mako and you got quiet, not sure how to break it to him.

“… Okay long story short he tried to kick my ass when he saw me on the streets,” you admitted.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Jamison screams.

“I KNOW he is trying to pick on me and then Dr. De Kuiper saw the whole thing. He had to snitch on him to Jack Morrison himself,” you summarize.

“Why did nobody talk—why didn’t you talk to me about it? I didn’t know about this until you told me!” Jamison frowns.

“You got amnesia before I can tell you what happened,” you respond.

“Oh … yeah,” Jamison remembers.

“Just – yeah don’t freak out too much, Siebren is gone from university because he is taking care of stuff like that,” you explain.

“But where is he though?” Jamison ask.

“In outer space. He can move around, kind of like me – sometimes when I feel too trap, I would get into one wormhole and just stay here,” you shrug.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Speaking of Siebren, you later visited him again. This time you got onto the tesseract and saw him there, writing stuff in thin air.

“Hey fam!” you call to him.

Siebren turns around, smiling happily the moment he saw you.

“I forgot – wait what is the difference between the 4th and 5th dimension? What is this again??” you ask, running towards him.

“I’m not sure how to explain the 5th dimension, but I do know the 4th dimension is where we are right now. The 3rd dimension is the physical world as we know it, but the 4th dimension includes time scales. Time is merely an illusion – speaking of time, let me show you something,” Siebren walks over to one side of the tesseract. You look and can recognize a few people there, even seeing you or Siebren through the lines.

“There are many actions, many moments, many universes, formed at every point in time. Even the smallest flutter of a butterfly wing can create a tornado,” Siebren smiled, showing you some kind of a blank screen.

“Can I – wait, are you trying to make a small theater?” you look up at him.

“It is like a movie to watch things go, carry on,” Siebren shrug.

You cover your eyes, remembering one memory of you coming into a small room by yourself. The walls are grey and there is a projector playing some kind of avant-garde film a university student made. This room was in one of the buildings in a cool university you explored, but it’s much too smart for you to get in even though your GPA by the time you graduated is above average anyway. But then the tuition is fucking expensive—OKAY okay anyways you open your eyes. Your vision was blurry until it focuses, realizing you are in that room. It feels unfamiliar though, and darker. Siebren is near your side, staring at the screen in front. It’s blank while it flickers in. Only a few chairs are inside, the walls are scorched black, the screen is surrounded by wooden and metal planks, and the floor is completely black. You got closer to the screen, sitting onto a nearby chair.

“What is that?” you pointed at the screen.

“Think of this place like an elevator, taking us through different pasts and futures depending on the timelines,” Siebren explain, also coming in to sit down.

“… I’m curious about something though,” you murmur, Siebren peering over to you. You look up, seeing that screen changed. There is a man just sitting there, on his desk, as if looking up stuff. He doesn’t look like some geeky business employee. And he looks familiar. Siebren took note of the changes, knowing that you two are somewhere in the past close by. Your chair scoots up, your figure walking close to the screen. You stuck your hand out, feeling it phase through as if entering a television. You pass through just by yourself, keeping eye contact with the man to see if he really is frozen in time or he is breathing. You’re not sure whether to ask him or call to him.

Then the man’s head whips up, staring at you. Oh, it’s Gabriel Reyes. It feels weird seeing him in this professional setting after being such a thug the past few weeks. You thought that maybe this is a point in time he doesn’t remember you. But then he made this weird grin, only to quickly have a scowl in his face.

“I’m packing my stuff, what you want?” Reyes ask with a passive aggressive tone.

“Packing your stuff? But … What’s today? Did you know me already?” you ask, pointing at yourself.

“I managed to get away before they can get to me, now I’m just taking my stuff back,” he explains, indirectly letting you know this is late Monday to Tuesday. Tuesday or Wednesday is when Lena must have said something.

“How did you know about the reports? Wouldn’t they kick you out immediately or you were snooping around?” you frown.

“You know, this isn’t the first time I been in trouble with stuff. I can be a high-functioning psychopath,” he kept packing stuff into his gym back. You cringe at the term.

“Sir did Lena told you what I just did?” you ask directly.

Reyes chuckles, hearing someone that is below him call him sir.

“I know you are going to try to kill me on Thursday when you come across me, why aren’t you trying to do that right now?” you ask. Reyes looks up, blinking. Then he smiles, starting to laugh a little.

“I’m not going to kill you, that is not what I’m planning to do. I find your abilities impressive – at least your body isn’t slowly falling apart as time passes by,” Reyes shrug.

“You put a gun to my head! I know how they look like, they are fucking huge and as big as my arm,” you scolded.

“That’s awfully specific,” Reyes comments.

“Then why did you attack me or try to hurt me? What did you want this whole time?” you scowled.

“Lena didn’t report to the Overwatch administration,” Reyes reveals finally, which is something you are not expecting to hear.

Your eyes widen.

“She was reporting it to a government facility; I recognized it as a place where Sigma was,” Reyes explain.

“Huh?” you murmur.

“Subject Sigma – Dr. De Kuiper himself,” Reyes specified.

You didn’t notice Siebren is watching the whole thing. His eyes twitches, remembering how devastated he felt when they trap him inside somewhere.

“Are you being serious?” you furrow your brows, looking at the ground.

“Why would I mention the doctor at all if I wasn’t?” Reyes looks up, zipping his bag. He suddenly circles his desk, coming in front to get closer to you.

“Why did you want to hurt me? Are you mad at me about what I did Monday?” you ask, as genuinely as you could sound. Reyes laughs, squinting his tired eyes. Suddenly he swoops in, grabbing at you to lift you up.

“I _am_ mad about Monday; I want to hurt you, I want to strangle you, I want to do so many horrible things to you, yet I couldn’t help but be curious about you,” Reyes confesses without shame, staring right at your pitiful eyes.

Siebren grew disturbed, not sure whether to get involve or leave you alone.

“I’m a sadist, you know that right? It makes me shiver hurting you like this – I want to keep _hurting_ you, I want to cut you, I want to choke you I want to burn you I want to bite you I want to scratch you….” He kept droning on, his face growing more intimidating while his voice grew shaky. You are wondering if this is a twisted version of someone falling head of heels for you. He sounds disturbingly obsessed.

“You feel that way towards … Everyone?” you mumbled a little.

Reyes slowly wrap his hand around your neck, suddenly carrying you like this. You couldn’t breathe.

“Everyone is like flies to me. Something about you makes me want to torture you. Maybe it’s because of how tiny you look, maybe because you can withstand my cruelty, but I want to … I _want_ …” Reyes breaths shallowly, watching your face turn red from being choked onto the hair with one arm lifted up. You lifted yourself up and push him away with a bit of your telekinetic force, fluttering on the floor as you cough.

“Killing you with one headshot is too anti-climactic, but I like to see you kick and scream in fear when I threaten to do so. I want to see it. I want to see you cry. I want to hear your sobs and _bawl_. I want to see your suffering. Please…” Reyes doesn’t look as human anymore, walking close to your slouching form while rubbing his chest.

“… Thank you, at least you are honest with how much you dislike me,” you muttered out while still on your knees, slouching.

He tilts his head. you peer up with an indescribable look in your eyes. You look as if you feel sorry for him.

“What? Everyone want to pretend to be such nice people, when in reality they are not. They are only looking for attention and gratification. Those are the people I hate the most,” you frown, your teeth clenching.

“You’re one to talk,” Reyes said with a hint of amusement.

“I’m not nice. I can be horrible. I get angry. I get impulsive. But at least I know I’m a bad person and not deny it,” you clench your teeth more.

Reyes kneels next to you, pulling your hair from the back of your head so you can face him. It felt unpleasantly familiar … That man that took the last of your innocence would --…

“Either the facility is coming to take you, or you have to surrender to me… What? It suddenly hits you like that?” Reyes asks softly, quickly noticing how you start to tear up silently. His cold heart beats rapidly, wanting you to give any more negative reactions.

You start to cry harder, remembering that man. He was sadistic too, except not in a homicidal manner. He didn’t have a heart. You know you are nothing to him and you allowed him to destroy the remaining parts of you that stay pure, because you got so bored and so desperate for some short of contact. You didn’t want to be touched like him again. You want someone to love you. Someone that cares for you. Someone that wants to be a shoulder you can cry on. You don’t hate him really for what he did because you blame yourself, it was consensual right? Right?

“Look, I’m not going to yell at you to shut up. I want you to start sobbing and crying like a baby. They might inject you with tranquilizers if you do so, but I won’t unless I’m feeling frisky. Don’t you think it’s better to be with me? Someone that is not a faker? You might grow to like it,” Reyes proposes.

_Don’t waste my time. I want to meet you as soon as possible_

You’re over 18 years old, you knew better.

_You don’t have a choice_

You felt flattered back then but looking back at the huge amounts of red flags, are you that dumb? Are you that fucking retarded? You start to cry, so confused on how to feel about this. You didn’t expect those memories to hit you so abruptly. You can’t hate him. You don’t hate him. You just … It’s your fault. It’s your fault. It’s your fault….

“Yes please, oh that sounds so cute! Keep sobbing and crying,” Reyes huffs rapidly, grabbing your arms in an awkward hug. You suddenly shake his arms away, avoiding his strong grips, running off into the office.

“N-No! Don’t you run away from me! I want to hear you more!” Reyes exclaims, stomping after you. But you already manage to get out of that space. Reyes curse under his breath, quickly looking up when he heard someone coming. He quickly grabs his bag and turn into purple mist.

_I know you are going to try to kill me on Thursday when you come across me_

His dark soul smiles, thanking you for giving him something to look forward to.

* * *

“I’m so sorry for not getting involved – I’m so focused into the future that I completely forgot that the present matters, this is so horrible of me, I’m so sorry…” Siebren apologize, feeling so guilty for doing absolutely nothing to protect you. He knew you can get away easily, but he could have helped anyway. You kept sobbing and crying in his large arms, sitting on his legs.

“I’m so stupid! I’m such a dumb person for letting people hurt me all the time! I deserve to be in Reyes’s basement right now! I let people hurt me and take my innocence so I might as well!” you cried, really not reacting well and feeling you twitch at how disgusted you are at your body.

Siebren tightens his arms around you, really not sure what could be the – he looks up to see the screen. It shows you and your mother. It was when you told her everything that has happened. It kept rapidly going, but Siebren can focus everything. He covers your eyes, not wanting you to vividly remember everything. He saw the wrong advices you are given by your mother, the guilt, the act, the consequences, your will to live kept plummeting as more people kept letting you down…. Siebren couldn’t help but tear up.

“… Don’t talk about it. I know what happened. I saw everything. Please rest. You don’t deserve this at all. I’m so sorry,” Siebren sobs out a little, holding your shaky body in.

He covers your eyes still, not letting you see yourself being dragged away by the facility people as the devastated Junkers are held back. He didn’t let you see yourself in a cell. He didn’t let you see the destruction that you are capable of…. He didn’t let you see his hopeful smile, seeing you in a white dress as you cling to Morrison’s arm.

The few words you wanted to hear from someone pour out of his shaky lips.

“Everything will be okay.”


	60. Subject Sigma - Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is some kind of intermission or something like this one featuring Junkrat's perspective, but slightly longer. It's not as long as an average 2500 word chapter though.

I don’t remember for how long I been staying here. I usually spend most of my time laying down, fiddling with the wires and my sleeve. I would stare up on the white ceiling, only hearing the buzzing of machinery or some sounds. I couldn’t tell whether these sounds are from my head or a genuine. I thought I heard an array of gunshots at some point... Only for nothing to happen. I would hear piano keys somewhere in the corner.

I can still stand or walk around, so long as I don’t do anything deemed suspicious. I must move around so slowly, trying not to twitch or have my emotions in control. Sometimes I would blink and already have a bunch of white coats holding onto my arms.

Sometimes I would look down on my feet and see the tile floors fall into the abyss, feeling myself about to fall to. It’s like a jolt you get when you were dreaming you tripped. That’s your body thinking you are dying. The brain is such an amusing thing.

I can’t tell the time nor the day. I just know that I felt like getting up. I stir up slowly, noticing how oddly quiet everything is. I look to my side only to see – a small human. You look too curvaceous to be a child, so you must have been a young adult. Your eyes, it looks so sad and pitiful.

I blink rapidly, not sure whether I’m seeing things again.

You reach your arms out as if to hug me. Do you want a hug?

That is so sweet of you…

I lift myself slowly out of my bed, walking close to you with arms wide open. I am so careful as to not hurt you. I’m so scared that even one intrusive thought can hurt you, but you stay clinging to my firm torso. You squeeze yourself against me. It feels so good … I don’t remember the last time anyone has ever touched me. Not even before the ….

You start to sing. I can’t recognize what you are saying, but your notes sounds so genuine.

“Hazme un instrumento de tu paz  
que lleve tu esperanza por doquier;  
donde haya oscuridad, lleve tu luz;  
donde haya pena, tu gozo, Señor. “

There is no piano to be heard. I close my eyes, rubbing my chin and nose onto your fluffy hair. It tickles my 5-o clock shadow slightly. You smell like salt and roses. I felt my chest rise, my heart pumping happily.

“Maestro, ayúdame a nunca buscar  
querer ser consolado, si no consolar;  
ser entendido, si no entender;  
ser amado, si no yo amar.”

I gently scratch the back of your neck, still holding onto you. I wonder how you manage to get here. Are you trying to help me escape? Are you a cell mate? But what’s wrong with you?

“Hazme un instrumento de tu paz:  
es perdonando que nos das perdón;  
es dando a todos que Tú nos das;  
muriendo es que volvemos a nacer.”

Nobody seems to notice us yet. I really don’t want this to end. This is the one time I felt alive for such a long while. I took social gatherings and interaction for granted, wanted only to focus on my work. Now I’m even lonelier. I want you to stay here. You are the one and only comforting thing I have.

“Maestro, ayúdame a nunca buscar  
querer ser consolado, como consolar;  
ser entendido, como entender;  
ser amado, como yo amar.”

What is your name?

“Hazme un instrumento de tu paz.”

It was silent. I stay still, feeling your hands cling to my back. I felt something wet on my chest. I look down slightly, not knowing who started crying first.

“I’ll try to visit you as much as I could,” you promise, holding out your pinky. I held one up to link onto yours, amused at how much longer it is than yours. Footsteps are heard and you must run away, phasing through a wall. You didn’t lie; you would show up throughout the months, weeks, maybe years …? I don’t know. But you are the kindest thing to me. You could have leave me alone, but you just kept coming.

One day, you come back. You are shakier than usual.

“Siebren, I’m going to get taken away by the facility soon. Apparently it’s tomorrow. Your other version gave me some advice but what can I do about it?” you ask, in a mumbling tone.

“Tomorrow? Oh please, run away,” I frowned, not wanting you to be by yourself. You would be so terrified and alone.

“That will only get me into more trouble, but I can ask for a lawyer and a court. I think I can defend myself … There is this one future where it led to that …” You wonder, looking at the white dusty floors.

Lawyer? Court? I don’t remember if there was a court ruling or I was too unstable to know what was going on. You seem … “normal” to me. Why would they want to take you away? You find yourself up against my chest. I want you to stay here. If they are to take you away, I hope I can be with you.

“I’ll stay here, focusing on that one possibility that there is a universe where I am free, where maybe I can spend time freely with you…” I mumbled, looking up at the white ceiling.

You snuggle up to my neck.

“I’m in this world because somehow you needed me to be there for something. I understand what you need to understand. Imprisonment … It’s all an illusion,” I kept murmuring, my head up high.

You start to sob softly, rubbing your cheek on my shoulder.

“Please run away, little one, I’ll stay here. It’s better than being in a cold hospital room,” I smiled softly.

“Are you going to come back?” you asked softly.

“My job in this world is done, my lieveling,” I gave a sad smile. I’m sure I’m too dangerous to be let go.

“What do you mean?? I can hop out of my void with no problem. I’m sure you have the experience to,” you squint at my eyes.

“No, you don’t understand … I … I’m old; also, they might get too scared of me after what I done, so I can’t leave. I’ll go meet up with myself in another world, maybe see you after all the answers of the universe is open to me,” I explain, chuckling a little.

You look down, as if remembering something. 

“You must go, if they find out your true nature – they definitely will come after you too,” I warn you, holding you against me.

“My nature? But they know of my powers,” you mumbled.

“They are scared. The humans. They are scared,” Siebren murmurs.

“I know that all too well, why do you think they hate?” you proclaimed.

“My smart, sweet, kindest friend,” Siebren tears a little.

“People hate the things they don’t understand. They are afraid of the unknown,” you pointed out.

“… You know, there is no obligation for the universe to make sense to you,” I advise you. Until we are back to stardust, the mysteries of the universe will not be known. I wonder how close I am to this revelation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a Christian song named "Hazme un Instrumento de Tu Paz" (Make me an instrument of your peace). I was going to start writing "Can you Count the Stars?" since it's slightly fitting, but I feel like it would be harder to sing it in a gentle manner -- I sung it for choir as a soprano so I have to make a bunch of high notes. It's also a Christian song idk but yeah 
> 
> Translation from Spanish to English -
> 
> Make me an instrument of your peace  
> may I carry your hope wherever I go  
> where there is darkness, I will carry your light  
> Where there is shame, your joy, my lord
> 
> My master, help me to never look  
> for comfort but to comfort others  
> to be understood but to understand  
> to be loved but to love
> 
> Make me an instrument of your peace  
> It is to forgive like you forgive us  
> It is to give like you give us  
> dying is when we are reborn
> 
> Make me an instrument of your peace


	61. The Facility

You jolt when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You turn around to see it’s just Mako. You were just scribbling stuff on your bed in Lucio’s room.

“Sorry,” Mako mumbled shyly.

“Oh, it’s just me, you good,” you shook your head.

He noticed how … Sad you look at him. As if you have some bad news. Meanwhile you are remembering how he felt bad because you don’t trust him enough to talk to him about stuff. There are so much you want to talk about him.

“Is something wrong?” you ask. Mako was going to ask the same thing.

“Uh… You been distant lately, as if distracted about something,” Mako rub the back of his head.

“Oh yeah, I’m trying to finish every assignment due, so I don’t procrastinate or uh… Just in case I suddenly can’t come to class or something,” you replied.

“What do you mean not come to class?” Mako ask, finding it odd you are thinking that might happen.

“… I found out what happened to Lena’s report,” you admitted.

Mako frowns, coming over to sit down next to you.

“What do you mean?” he mumbles.

“Reyes would have been arrested if he hangs around at the administrative office because Lena would have reported me a day after the first riot, so he must have heard Lena talk about it or went through some files. She didn’t report to the Overwatch administration but to a government facility Siebren was in,” you confessed, watching Mako’s eyes grew fearful.

“How did you know that?” Mako ask shakily.

“I visited Siebren and he showed me some stuff … He has access to that kind of information, surprisingly. He didn’t want me to mess around too much as to not cause any corruption,” you scratch your head.

“Did Olivia say anything?” Mako asks. He thought that Olivia of all people would immediately know if this is true, so he is surprised that it was Siebren that told you.

“She could find out if she went looking for it, but she was only focused on what is being put through the Overwatch system – she probably didn’t spot it at all,” you explain.

“We have to let her know,” Mako peer down slightly.

“… I think they are coming tomorrow or maybe a day later, I’m not sure,” you shrug. Mako quickly look up, disturbed that they might be coming to take you this much sooner.

“I – No, I have to call Olivia, maybe she can do something …” Mako shook his head. This is the first time he ever wants to ask for help from someone. He only depended on himself for everything since he is always alone.

“I … Wait no, I don’t want her to get in trouble with the state – Overwatch was pretty lenient on her but I don’t think they will be,” you worried, grabbing Mako’s arm.

“Can we run away?” Mako ask sheepishly.

“I … No, we can’t. You will get arrested and I will immediately be put in there. This isn’t something to take lightly, but I will demand for a trial,” you assure him.

“I don’t want you to get drugged up with tranquilizers and experimented on by people outside this university, why the fuck would Lena do this shit to you?!” Mako scolded, scaring you.

“Fam chill—"

“No she done enough, she can’t keep fucking around with you like this, ESPECIALLY SINCE HER **DUMBASS** MADE YOU ALMOST KILL YOURSELF SHE **CANT** KEEP HURTING YOU LIKE THIS!!” Mako screams in anger, stomping over to reach to Lena. You ran after him, Jamison quickly noticing something is wrong when he was sitting in the living room with Baptiste and Zenyatta.

“Mako Mako Mako I get it she is a fucking asshole but MAKO HEADASS!” you yell after him, speeding up to get in front of him.

“MAKO DO… Mako, do not let this bitch delete your future. That’s what fucked up people do! They fuck around with other people’s future because they are so hurt and insecure. Do not let this bitch take your ass to jail, this is not worth it,” you exclaim, having a firm grip on his jaw.

He is shaking in anger, staring right at you with a scowl.

“It’s not worth it. Do not let the bad people win. They _want_ us to go ballistic they _want it_. It feeds their cold, logical egos as they point out how “emotional” and “unstable” we are. Do not let these people win. We have to play the game,” you explain with the most serious tone you can muster.

Jamison came running out the dorm, coming up to you two with a worried expression.

“Mako you just – you can’t destroy your future for me! Jack is going to do something!” you try to assure him.

“YOU are my future!” Mako snaps back, blushing slightly.

You widen your eyes. The line is so cheesy but … You couldn’t help but blush.

“What’s going on?” Jamison asks shyly.

“Fine – you should know too but don’t fucking do anything stupid,” you lower yourself, letting go of Mako to face him.

“What happened? Did you two fought?” Jamison ask, thinking of the worst care scenario.

“Lena reported me to the government facility Siebren was held in, not to Overwatch administration,” you told him.

You watched as his face turn to a scowl. You slowly turn around to check on Mako only to see Olivia frozen there. She was going to visit the dorms only to also hear what you just said.

“… Are you fucking kidding me—Hold on, let me get on my shit,” Olivia grumbles, speeding past you to come into the dorm. Everyone came back in, huddling close to Olivia as she hacks through what facility.

“That facility is supposed to be top secret, how the fuck she managed to get ahold of them??” Olivia frowns, typing away as quickly as she could. She tries to look up files, even finding the files involving subject Sigma. Meanwhile, Mako rubs his face in frustration. He really wants to snap that twig for constantly vilifying you and then trying to ruin you.

“That dumb bitch, why would she do that to you?!” Jamison snaps.

“I – I don’t know?? It’s like cancel culture, people don’t make sense. They just want to feel like a hero because they are fucking losers,” you exclaim.

Mako is really hoping that this is not true, but then he would get angry at Siebren for even giving you that misinformation. He’s just going to be unhappy either way. The group sit for what felt like a long time while Olivia kept searching for any warrant against you.

“I would be told if you are being disruptive, why would they go on to take you away?” Zenyatta ask softly.

“They don’t care! The government don’t fucking care about us, why do you think my folks got fucked over then left to die by our own?!” Jamison angrily exclaims.

Jesse and Hanzo came in while there a bunch of people in the living room. They quickly noticed something is wrong.

“Oh hey, why the long faces?” Jesse ask, albeit having a bad feeling.

They all stared at him so unhappily, not wanting to joke around.

“I’m going to get taken away soon,” you look down slightly, as if staring at Olivia’s purple screen.

“By who? What you mean?” Jesse frowns, coming closer to the group.

“That dumb fucking Brit reported (y/n) to a facility to imprison them!” Jamison snaps.

“Jamison, we don’t know yet for sure if she really did or it’s just a wild guess,” Zenyatta assures him.

“Wait, is this about yesterday?” Jesse furrow his brows, coming over to look at what they are watching.

Olivia at first went to look for the files she got of Siebren when Mako asked her to, then look up the source. The facility is hidden, but on the outside is just known as some science lab funded by the government. They are vague about the things they do, like Area 51 and 54. What’s also weird is that there is a prison nearby, a few miles away. She broke through their security, looking for any recent warrants.

“… Both?”

“Huh?”

“They sent a warrant for _both_ Siebren and (y/n),” Olivia pointed out.

“Aw geez,” Jesse runs his hand through his hair, Hanzo having no idea what is going on.

“When are they coming?” you ask softly.

“Siebren’s warrant was put last Saturday, yours was yesterday,” Olivia stated.

You look up nervously, right before you got to go to Lucio’s room. Jamison calls your name softly as you went away, thinking that maybe you are upset. You came back to the living room after you just left to pack your stuff.

“I – I have to let Jack know,” you scratch your head.

“Please, he has to put a stop to this somehow,” Jesse nodded.

You make a wormhole and jump in to get to his location. When you reach out, you suddenly come across him speaking to a man surrounded by guards. You look towards Jack, running up to him to stick by his side. You heard him gulp, reaching his hand out to gently pat your head.

“You are speaking to a veteran and a commander. Everyone has the right not to be imprisoned or detained for any reason. Section 9 says that government officials cannot take individuals into custody or hold them without a good reason. You all are just scientists,” Jack stood his ground. You quickly knew that the people here are coming after you.

“We are not just a bunch of scientists. We are funded and run by the state, hence why we have security in the first place. We must investigate and if this entity really is as dangerous as the report claim, they must be detained,” the man explains coldly.

“Then make a case. Ask the court if they must be imprisoned. The Sixth Amendment guarantees the rights of criminal defendants, including the right to a public trial without unnecessary delay, the right to a lawyer, the right to an impartial jury, and the right to know who their accusers are and the nature of the charges and evidence against them,” Jack stated. You quickly knew that he is passionate about the constitution… Or just really American. The only other guy you knew was your government professor that is a huge fan of Locke and a serious constitutionalist, despite being conservative.

“Sir, it’s fine,” you murmur, patting his back.

“No, it’s not fine – This is unacceptable,” Jack stated in a serious tone, still trying to comfort you through head pats.

“There is already a court case made as to whether to keep the entity detained or not – Tomorrow morning,” the man announced.

You blinked, staring at the blank faces of the guards surrounding the man in a white suit. You want to speak up or at least inform them that they should give up on looking for Siebren, but you have the right to remain silence. They might use whatever you said against them.

“Then I’ll keep an eye on (y/n) so they stay in the university. I’m not letting you detain someone for no reason,” Jack exclaims, starting to press his palm on your back to pull you against him.  
You stare wide-eye, not sure if the future is going to come true the way you saw it, or do they even recognize you. You didn’t know that Olivia got access to the cameras, your dormmates nervously staring at you and Jack’s figure on the purple screen. Jack has broken a few rules before and he is not afraid to do so again. He is not letting these people take his child away, especially after what you been through.

“You do know that they can also endanger themselves, right?”

“Leave before I call in security. We will go to court tomorrow and prove their case, but do not detain them for a crime they are not charged for,” Jack sternly declared.

“…” the man didn’t budge yet … Then he turned around, the guards following suit.

You stay clinging to Jack, sighing heavily. Jack finally slouches a little, sticking his hand out to let you hold it.

“I was going to tell you – Lena reported me to them, not to Overwatch,” you frown.

“I see,” Jack murmured.

He stood up a little, sighing.

“Look kid, I will call in as many witnesses and collect any data needed to prove your case,” Jack stated, covering your hands with his own.

“This blonde nurse and Zenyatta checks up on me,” you wonder, yet you feel bad for even asking for help.

“Yes, Dr. Ziegler,” Jack nodded.

“I can help with a bunch of stuff, but yeah they are after me,” you nodded.

“Go back to your dorm and stay put, tell your dormmates I put them in charge of protecting you. This is an order,” Jack gravely instructs you.

“They already pretty upset because Olivia found out about it. They will,” you nodded.

“Good, good …” Jack pets your head for the last time before you leave.

You came back to the dorm and saw the group worryingly look up at you.

“He said –”

“We will, we are not leaving you alone with this,” Jesse assures you.

“Oh okei, I don’t have much to do anyway because I did most of my homework for the year,” you giggled, trying to lighten them up.

“I’m just – Okay, I don’t care if she always talks about me… but marking you as a danger only because you defended me?? This is so stupid,” Olivia facepalms with both hands, dragging her fingers through her bottom lids and cheeks.

“Can yall … Testify for me?” you scratch your head nervously.

“Y E S!!” everyone exclaim, making you jolt.

“Oh okay, because it might take a while,” you laugh.

“I know it’s been like a month since you were here, but you already did so much for us. This is the least we can do to repay you,” Olivia smiled.

“All I do is share memes and do magic tricks,” you shrug, not understanding how much of an impact your appearance is.

“I appreciate your humbleness, but please listen to them,” Zenyatta advise you.

“I don’t know why people are so awful to you and throw you away, they really did lost a good friend and you are just the sweetest person ever,” Jamison said.

“You don’t pretend to be nice or choose to use your powers for evil; instead, you use it as a reason to be good. There aren’t much people like that in this world,” Olivia gets up, holding your hands.

“No seriously, I just – I’m only friendly because it’s everyone’s responsibility to help each-other. I really only just crack dumb jokes and feed you people,” you shrug.

“So you are just going to forget last Friday never happened? Or the riot? Or the many times you kept giving us boxes of pizza while we didn’t even do anything in return?” Baptiste ask, coming to stand next to Olivia.

“I don’t do shit for something in return! I do it because it’s such an obvious thing to do! It would be manipulative of me to have that mindset that I’m entitled to anything if I’m nice,” you clench your teeth, still not figuring out how to react to their kindness.

“(y/n), we love you and care for you,” Jamison smiled, although he still looks worried.

Your eyes widen a little, staring at everyone with a weird look as if frightened. You are not sure how to react to their kindness without breaking down or being a jerk about it.

“… I love you too. I hope you all find … A … I … I don’t know what to say, I’m used to the silence,” you shrug, giggling nervously.

Olivia lets go of your hand to hug around your shoulder, Baptiste and the rest coming behind to get in a group hug. You are not going against a bunch of scary scientist and adults just for yourself, but for your loved ones. You will still stick around to be there for these humans. 

This is for the scared little kid that always dreamed of having friends to speak to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please everyone be safe. This virus is not a joke and please keep yourself clean. I'm fine for now and I'm planning not to work again until the next semester. Hopefully by then this pandemic would be taken cared of. 
> 
> This is random but... Okay, Your heart may be as cold as mine but someone out there may be waiting for you to come to their life, either as a friend or something more.


	62. The Hero Who Disappeared in 2018

_“You will be known as subject Phi and you will be under surveillance,” the judge stated._

_“WHAT?!” Mako and Jamison barks. Their roommates must hold them down, so they don’t do anything violent._

_“Stop! Violence isn’t going to help—” you mumbled a little._

_“Violence is usually the ANSWER,” Mako growls._

You blinked, staring at the screen playing the future. Hopefully it is going to be prevented by you.

You hold onto Siebren’s hand, nodding along while he murmurs softly.

“Remember the Schrodinger Cat argument, remember the basic things I told you if they are to ask questions related to quantum physics,” Siebren assures you.

You nodded slowly.

“I’m sure that Mr. Morrison would be too stubborn to give up on you, but it’s best to argue about this in court. I didn’t have the privilege to because I was already too unstable to fight for myself. But you can, so please – You are an intelligent little one with so much potential, there is nothing to cure about you,” Siebren compliments you, reaching up to plant a kiss on your forehead.

“I will fam, this is for you and Subject Sigma,” you nodded quickly.

You visited his past self because you felt so much love and sympathy for him, so you spent most of your free time just seeing him in different intervals of time. He gave you similar advice and information, except Sigma wants you to run away. You told him of your protective friends, so he advice you that to allow them to fight for you.

“I didn’t have anyone in my life, please be grateful,” he smiled sadly.

You always imagine your future being this lonesome, but Sigma didn’t want you to be in his shoes. You must be happy with what you have.

Your professors are surprised when you suddenly turn in everything due before the semester ends suddenly, even though you have two months to do everything. Mako and Jamison noticed you disappearing more often, focusing too much in your work or you are missing because you went to visit Siebren. You brought yourself more time by just staying in the Tesseract since time doesn’t pass there. A year in there could be like a minute in the real world.

Siebren hesitantly showed you what will happen to you, showing you getting dragged away by some soldiers. Instead of panicking, you went through the different timelines and choices you must make. Most of the bad choices involves overreacting and injury. Most of the mistake was a result from you being too scared or hesitant to fight back. You look through every choice of word, action, argument, and events to see which one would lead you to freedom with Siebren’s help. You been thinking and writing down what to say or do as if you are getting ready for a final exam. It kind of is because this can either get you stuck in the facility for a long time or finally get rid of all the legal issues involving your powers. You are putting your hope in logic, knowing that these people are going to be too cold and calculating.

* * *

The court date is here. You got separated from everyone, which you don’t mind. You are put in a small room, accompanied by a lawyer and a guard. They only talked to you about what could go down if you are deem too dangerous to be outside. You don’t remember the details because you might have been too terrified or too lazy to process it. You are trying to remember only what your friends said and what you saw in the Tesseract. Finally, it’s time for court to start, following behind the lawyer and in front of the guard.

You beamed, seeing your friends and Mako in the audience. You sat on a large desk next to the lawyer. You try to pay attention, hearing the words spoken by what seems to be a judge. The prosecutor shows up, too normal looking for you to remember. He would ask you questions, even mentioning your autism and your previous diagnosis of GAD and clinical depression. You try not to be offended, just answer their questions as normally as you could.

“It’s a spectrum; every person has different symptoms and weaknesses. My weakness is I have trouble processing things, such as touch and sounds. I’m sensitive to loud noises. I personally know a few autistic people that have stronger reactions than I do, but I do not resort to violence. It's ableist to say that every autistic person is aggressive,” you stated.

Zenyatta is asked to the stand to give more information and even give files from when he was counseling you.

The defense seems to know what he is doing; he quickly asks Olivia to be the next witness. Your parents are gone, and they lived in another city. They keep records of report cards that includes behavioral conduct, but Olivia managed to get a hold of it somehow. She even includes your criminal records, which is really empty. 

“What about their immune system? They can either get too sick or might bring diseases from back then,” the prosecutor asks.

You heard that the biggest danger of time-travelling is your body is not used to the environment’s bacteria and viruses. Luckily your parents are dumb enough to not vaccinate you and the last shot you got was for HPV. It’s been numerous decades later so who knows how much shots you need now, especially as young as you are now. The defense asks Dr. Ziegler to the stand, giving them the medical files. You are missing two shots – one for a virus that occurred a few years after you disappeared and the other that’s just added to the recommended list of vaccines. She had you have an appointment for when you are going to keep training for the military.

“We have to make some testing on you,” prosecutor demanded.

“Go ahead fam,” you shrug

“—Not so fast. We have data from the Overwatch Training and Simulation Center showing how their abilities work. This is just from this week alone,” the defense explains before he start pointing out the complicated stuff and argue with the prosecutor.

“What if it’s biased? The university has its own fair share of controversy, especially involving Blackwatch,” the prosecutor reveals.

The audience murmur, Jesse and Genji looking at one another nervously.

“This isn’t about Overwatch. This is about (y/n) and why they must be detained. Why would all this data be a farce?” the defense argued.

“You want me to have a stabilizer? But I’m fine. I can still function like a human being. Anger management? Okay, issue me to a therapist – like the thing that should have been given to Siebren,” you shrug. That last part was a jab at them for not watching over him enough.

“Aah speaking of Dr. De Kuiper … You been seen in our cameras multiple times, visiting him in one specific hour until we moved him,” the prosecutor smirked.

Your eyes widen. Your dorm mates got really confused, murmuring at one another. Olivia and Mako is especially confused; you only appeared weeks before, when Siebren is already out the facility for years. How is that possible?

“Somehow you have the ability to time-travel. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? It is also shown in the data provided by the facility that there are numerous disturbances. There is no evidence that it was Siebren that caused the disturbances, but there are reports of them committing property damage by Amelie Lacroix and Lena Oxton two weeks ago. Speaking of which, I would like to ask Lena to the stand", the prosecutor orders. 

Shocked, you look up to see your accuser coming up with Winston by her side. You are too embarrassed to look at her face for some odd reason … Well, you felt embarrassed for her.

* * *

“There are numerous reports by Dr. Harold and Dr. De Kuiper himself that there are disturbances throughout campus,” Winston fix his glasses.

“Disturbances?” the defense asks.

“Disturbances that can easily cause trouble, such as creating strangelets. It will be dangerous enough to destroy the environment, and by environment I mean ripping the world apart as all atoms are taken over by the strange quarks in the strangelets,” Winston explains.

You raise your hand up. The defense looks at you.

“I make wormholes. Not quark stars. Isn’t strangelets only related to quark or neutron stars and not worm holes? Only dangers of creating wormholes is the creation of time paradox, but I can’t travel through time at will. Only ti—only event of time-travelling I experienced is when I first came here from year 2018. I can create portals and grab stuff from different places, but I can’t travel time unless I go through a tesseract,” you explain, trying not to stutter or get your words scrambled.

"Well, can you bring in a quark star?" the prosecutor ask. 

“I cannot create quark stars either. Can I? It’s too massive for me to grab hold. I can’t bring in big celestial objects like that. I don’t know what Siebren has gone through and what is the extent of his abilities, but I’m generally more passive than him. By that logic, Lena Oxton would also pose as a danger for creating time paradoxes. Worry over time paradoxes is understandable, but strange quarks? Only that can happen if I have enough strength to bring in a strange quark star,” you pointed out.

“Exactly, you might as well say anyone that practice teleportation technology and Miss Oxton is a threat,” the defense points out.

“Also, have you heard of Schodinger’s cat? Strangelets can exist in theory, but what if ONLY in theory? What is the neutron star only having regular quarks rather than strange quarks? The disturbances you are seeing is because I would bend spacetime. It is not me creating the so called “strange quarks”. That is not the source of my power,” you pat your chest.

“Can you try to summon one then? If it’s really not true?” the prosecutor asks.

“What if they bring a neutron star instead if there really is no strange quark in existence? That will also get dangerous, including for the person summoning one,” the defense argued back.

“That’s the point though – it’s not even just the strange quark. What if one day they will get angry enough to destroy everything around them? It doesn’t have to be anything specific,” Lena explain.

“I use my powers to help others. I will NOT hurt anyone, especially because the students there are like family to me. I'm really not that dumb,” you exclaim.

“You shouldn’t have gotten them endangered when you took them out of their dorms,” Lena glares.

“You fucking hypocrite!”

Everyone turned to Olivia. Nobody in the group ever saw her this mad, surprising even you.

“YOU are the one always preaching about how the world needs “more heroes” and now you are backing down? Are you mad you didn’t get the spotlight?! WE stopped those guys from actually killing those students. Who knows if there would be casualties if it wasn’t for (y/n) AND Siebren! Who knows how many people are going to get hurt if they went up against Reyes knowing damn well he is too powerful?!” Olivia asks.

Everyone was silent… Until you start patting the wood on the table excitedly. Then they heard a weird noise outside. The guys turn to the window and saw there are students outside, despite how blurry and distorted the glass is. The group look around, slowly realizing the people outside are chanting their dorm room number.

162.

“The world is watching,” Olivia smirked, knowing why the students and other younger people are outside.

Olivia the night before release footage of you and your group beating up the guys, inspiring others and maybe touching the people from yours or your younger cousin’s generation – having to live in fear of someone coming into their classroom with a loaded gun one day. More protests ensue while the court kept going on for three days. Most of the time is just you listening to your friends or some classmates talk about their experiences with you. Most of them only remember you as that one quiet person with weird mannerism that would give them snacks. The most unfriendly that isn’t from Lena is just people having no memories of you or disagreeing with you breaking the rules, but still acknowledging you as someone passive. Other arguments would mention Siebren and your involvement with his disappearance.

“He is not coming back. He deserves freedom as much as me and you do. You all are wrong for keeping him alone and treating him less of a human, much like the people in the past would have treated the mentally ill such as myself. He will never be under your grasp and I hope nobody else does either,” you declared gravely.

One more day and it’s just tying loose ends. The audience and you held your breath, hoping that you are not going to become subject Phi or Omega or whatever. Delta sounds cool maybe…

The judge declares that you are not dangerous enough to be contained but is ordered to be watched for any medically and behavioral issues. This is so your immune system doesn’t get affected by the new environment any time soon.

You walk out while clinging to Jack, who lead you out the building since you might get lost. Your friends are waiting outside except you hear more noises. You and Jack turn a corner only to see a huge crowd there, cheering you on. You are not sure how to react. You are just overwhelmed by the noises and the sunlight, tightening your grip around Jack’s shoulder. Eventually your friends got close to you, petting your head or patting your back. Jamison suddenly picks you up to cuddle you. You notice Mei was on his side, so happy for you. She testified for you when they started talking about the one time you yell at Lena across the room. Mako comes out the cut and picks you up from Jamison’s arm, hugging you tight as he plants a kiss on your forehead.

Everyone went home and threw a pizza party for you. You are too tired to process what is going on, but you heard from Olivia that your court case was made into a huge deal. The biggest reason, besides because of the footage Olivia released, was because everyone recognizes you as the missing person from over 70 years ago. They felt so hopeful knowing that you are alive and well. You did not allow your inner demons destroy you. Nobody got the chance to kidnap or kill you. You did not allow your weakness to be the reason for your disappearance. You choose to be hopeful and you choose to be good because it is everyone’s responsibility to be courageous and kind. You choose to not allow your past nor the people that hurt you to jeopardize your future like what unfortunately happened to them.

You are the person who disappeared in 2018.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The number for Phi is 1.618033...
> 
> (Source: https://angelnumber.org/63-angel-number-meaning-and-symbolism/)  
> The number 63 is a mix of energies of the numbers 6 and 3. The number 6 signifies material aspects of life, home, family, responsibilities, providing, balance, love, dignity, reliability, compromise and simplicity.
> 
> The number 3 signifies manifesting abundance and prosperity, creativity, communication, self – expression, encouragement, skills, talents, joy and enthusiasm.
> 
> The number 3 is also the number of the Ascended Masters.
> 
> The number 63 in general signifies nurturing, family, compassion and idealism.


	63. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last last chapter of this fanfiction oof

You ring the doorbell, floating up to the peep hole and camera so whoever is in the house don’t immediately call the cops because of Mako. He still looks hella intimidating to anyone else that doesn’t know him. The door opens, coming out an elderly man in her 80s -- fixing his glasses while looking at you.

“… Amelia?” you ask softly.

“Who are you people?” he spoke.

“… Is my sister there? Amelia? Who is this?” you tilt your head a little.

Suddenly, an elderly lady came to the door. Her eyes widen in shock to see you. You stood around, not sure how to respond to her. Her shaky hands reach out, cupping your face to see if you’re real.

“I’m not a clone. It’s a long story but nothing happened to me,” you shrug

… She starts bawling right then and there, quickly coming over to crush you in a hug. You noticed at the last minute that a frail older man comes over to the woman to console her, holding her shoulders. You avoid his eyes.

“I was going to visit you but didn’t know where you are or how to contact you,” Amelia murmur, her tone sounding slightly masculine.

* * *

You and Mako sat on the sofa, facing your older sister.

“Who is my brother in law?” you ask curiously.

“Ronald, you don’t recognize him?” Amelia replied.

“Oh, you two get to be married!” you smiled happily.

“Yeah … It’s kind of messy when dealing with in-laws,” she chuckles nervously.

“Did you have any children?” you ask.

“I’m old as fuck, they grown now. They have homes of their own now,” Amelia spat amusingly.

“I thought you hate kids,” you wheeze, remembering this is how you two would talk to one another. It was just friendly banter between you two until things grew sour.

“When did I say that? You are the one that hates kids because you always argue with your little cousins,” Amelia pointed out.

“I mean … You have more patience than me,” you shrug, giving a small laughter.

“Who is he?” Amelia points at Mako

“Him and his close friend took care of me when I had nowhere to go,” you look over at him.

Your sister greeted him, shaking his hand.

“Why and how did you end up like this?” Roland stuttered out. He still has this weird way of speaking that used to annoy you.

You went ahead and explain the time machine, telling the dates and consequences behind it. You even told them about the friends you made and the opportunity to be educated.

“I would be surprised if they lived this long, but where are mom and dad?” you asked.

“O-oh …” Amelia looked down; her face solemn.

“… I want to visit them anyway, do you know where?” you ask calmly.

* * *

Mako stand meters away from you under the shade while you stood on your parent’s graves. You pull out a bouquet of flowers for your mother and father, placing them on them. Your small kneeling body starts to shiver, your tears falling on their graves.

“… I forgive you; you two did your best …” you murmured, bowing your head down.

They really did. Despite all the bad memories, they did give you all those Christmas presents. Your mother fed you, gave you access to the internet, try to help you … Your father worked day and night to pay the bills, try his best to be around … They are just humans after all. At least death finally separated them from their chaotic marriage. They can finally rest in peace, no longer worried about survival or family drama. You know you are not obligated to forgive, but you still did. You still love these people. It’s not that they are horrible people, it’s more of they are just too ignorant to understand how to be emotionally intelligent. A warm breeze came through the cold air of winter, giving you the impression that they must have heard you. After wiping the tears and snot off your face, you got up slowly. You went back to Mako and quickly got his hand, leading the two walks throughout the cemetery. You used to be so scared at anything related to death as a child. You remember how much your panic attacks are caused by thoughts of death, especially after your grandfather passed. It’s the unknown that scares you, but you already witness so much and gotten stronger throughout the years. Now you see death as a blessing and part of life.

You two met with Amelia again.

“… I was too scared to talk to you about it, but I … I lost faith in you back then. I couldn’t talk to you about my own problems because you seem to ignore me. I forgive you about it because you are young back then and I don’t know how you feel about this now. Also, I know that you are already dealing with your depression, so you didn’t know how to help me,” you frown, trying to open up to her.

“But you are the one that pushed me away … Well, I felt that way before. After you couldn’t be found years later, the guilt just kept eating at me. I kept thinking that maybe if I listened to you, you would have been just fine. I guess I’m … I’m sorry for being so cold to you. I’m sorry for not even listening to you,” Amelia explain, her wrinkled eyes starting to tear up.

“You been through a lot too, I’m just glad you lived a long life and created a family despite your situation,” you smiled softly.

“I’m glad nothing horrible truly happened to you, I thought you might have gotten sex trafficked or committed suicide…” she admitted hesitantly.

“I’m going to be real with you – I was going to. Twice already. I was going to jump off a bridge but then I got teleported the first time while the second time my adopted father stopped me,” you confessed.

“Your adopted father??” Amelia ask, trying not to get too emotional from what you just said.

“Yeah, a Caucasian man adopted me because I’m basically orphaned. I’m part of the military right now. I’m kind of hesitant to, but his friend miss Ana is comforting me about it,” you explain.

“Aren’t you too old to be adopted?” Amelia ask, smiling a little.

“I asked the same thing but apparently it’s possible,” you shrug.

“I – I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to hurt you,” Amelia shook her head.

“You bouta get a heart attack, it’s fine,” you giggle a little.

“Pff fuck you,” Amelia laughs a little, but still having tears in her eyes.

“Oh! Here,” you gave her a small card.

“What is this?”

“I’m – Did I tell you? Mako is my fiancee, we are getting married next year,” you told her.

“Wh … Really?” Amelia ask, surprised.

“I thought I was going to get married when I’m in my thirties, but Mako and I just … I don’t know, we just clicked even though he will die faster,” you giggle a little.

“Hey,” Mako squint at you.

“Oh congratulations..!,” Amelia hugs you slightly, coming over to shake hands with him. Mako is blushing slightly. Amelia is wondering why such a large age gap, but then again, she forgets how weird you are. She isn’t getting any weird vibes from him, though. She knew that your mom is just going to be furious that you didn't get someone younger and handsomer. 

“He gave me a ring pop! I ate it though, but I kept the plastic!” You beamed.

“Of course,” Amelia laughs softly, remembering how you always said you are going to receive a ring pop if anyone proposes to you.

“I’ll give you a niece or nephew sooner or later, I’m not sure,” you shrug, holding Mako’s large hand.

* * *

It was a cool day, but the sun is still shining through happily. Jamison stood by with the nicest suit he is ever in, feeling slightly weird about it. He is trying his best not to start bawling here and there, Mei by his side.

Amelia’s family, most of Mako’s colleagues, and your dorm mates are in the pews watching the door open to you and Jack.

You held Jack’s hand, walking through the corridor with an awkwardly slow pace. You can see Mako in the distance near Jamison … Crying? You giggled, feeling your eyes watering. Jack chuckles along, rubbing his cheek on your head. After finally reaching to the pastor, Mako quickly hold your hand throughout the whole service.

"I, (y/n) , take thee, Mako, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part,” you promised Mako, looking up to his loving eyes.

"I, Mako , take thee, (y/n) , to be my wedded spouse, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part,” Mako replied, hiccupping a little.

He never imagined himself getting married to someone as pretty and wonderful as you, especially after what he been through and what he has done.

“Now I pronounce you husband and spouse! … Is that okay?” the pastor asks, realizing what he just said might be wrong.

You didn’t give time to correct him, quickly getting attacked by Mako’s smooches. You laugh, kissing him back happily.

Everyone cheered happily, Jamison no longer holding in his tears.

After the rest of the service is done for, Mako walk you down the aisle before abruptly picking you up bridal style. He kisses your plump limp while you try to kiss back as you crack a smile.

“I love you (y/n)," he said tenderly. 

"Te quiero mucho tambien," you smiled happily. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Te quiero mucho tambien - I love you alot as well
> 
> I know this fanfiction is odd and only have 33 kudos as of now, but thank you all for loving this and reading this to completion if you made it this far. This fanfiction is written during the most difficult times of my life. I was betrayed by two friends I loved dearly and I have to make more mistakes later as a human being. So this fanfiction is hella personal and has helped me heal. I hope this story gives everyone that is in my shoes hope for the future. Remember that sometime in the future, you will meet someone that will truly love you -- whether it will be romantic or platonic. 
> 
> This isn't 100% the end tho. I will write an AU of this story where Sigma is focused instead, also closer to the Overwatch universe instead of taking place in a university setting. So if you enjoyed the pace and the themes in this fanfic, then maybe you'll like this one idk. 
> 
> I hope for the best of our future and may you all have the strength to endure whatever obstacle is ahead.


End file.
